by Nova Weetman
Tess’s room was right down the back of the house, away from everyone else. I walked down the hall nervously, hoping her mum or dad wouldn’t pop out for a chat about how great state netball would be. Luckily, I made it all the way without seeing anyone except Tess’s cat, Cheesecake. He snaked his way around my legs as I tried to decide whether to knock or just go straight in. I felt like it might be better if I knocked.
‘Tess?’ I called as I knocked quietly on her door. I think I was half hoping she wouldn’t hear me, and I could sneak away again. But the door opened straight away. ‘What’s with the hair?’ Tess said in her usual direct way.
I laughed as I followed her into the room. ‘One word – Jean.’
‘Right. It looks very …’
‘Juliet-ish?’ I finished her sentence, not realising what I was saying. She stepped back, realising what I’d come to tell her.
I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch I always slept on when I stayed over. Yep, Tess’s room was big enough for a couch. But she didn’t sit. She stood on the other side of the room, staring at me.
‘So you’re doing the play,’ she said flatly.
I nodded. Tess sighed and turned to look out the window.
‘I’m sorry. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but I’ll never get another chance to play Juliet. I can always try out for state next season.’
Tess turned around and shook her head. ‘But you won’t be with me then,’ she said softly, kicking the edge of her bed to avoid looking at me.
I realised she was right. It was pretty unlikely I’d ever play state with Tess – she’d always be a year ahead of me now, even if I did get in next year. ‘I might be,’ I said softly, suddenly wondering if I’d made the right choice.
Tess looked up at me. ‘I thought we were chasing the same thing – professional netball. You could be really good, Edie. Really good. And you have a spot on the team already. Why pass that up and risk not getting in next year?’ she asked sadly.
I didn’t know what to say. Tess was right. There was no guarantee I’d get in next year. Would I even keep playing with the Sapphires? Tess wouldn’t be there – she’d be too busy with state. I hadn’t really considered that. The possibility that Tess and I wouldn’t play together at all anymore.
‘Tess, I love acting. I love being on stage. It’s the most exciting thing I’ve ever done. If I hadn’t been cast as Juliet, I probably would have chosen the state team. But this is my shot. This is my chance to see if I’m actually any good. Don’t you understand that?’ I said. I was trying to stay calm, but it was hard. Playing Juliet was so important to me, and I really wanted my best friend to understand.
Tess looked up at me, a hurt expression on her face. ‘Is this about Freddy? Because if it is, I’m sure you can hang out with him without doing the play.’
I shot her an angry look. I couldn’t believe she was making it about him. ‘No, it’s not. This is about me, and what I want to do.’
Tess shrugged, and said coldly, ‘Okay. Whatever. It’s your life. Your choice.’
‘Don’t be like that,’ I said, hurt by her response. ‘Just because I’m not choosing netball doesn’t mean you’re not still my best friend.’
‘I know,’ said Tess. ‘But it does mean we won’t see each other as often. And I thought playing state was our dream. I never thought you’d choose acting instead.’
Argh! Now I felt awful. I knew what it meant to me to be playing Juliet. How hard I’d worked on my audition, how much I’d rehearsed in front of the mirror to make sure I didn’t pull weird faces. How I’d dreamt of this since starting drama classes. And how, secretly, my dream was to be a professional actor one day. But I’d never really explained any of that to Tess. Netball had always come first.
‘Tess, I love netball. But really, I think my acting is your netball. I totally love it. The way it makes me feel. How hard I have to work to be good,’ I said, really wanting her to understand what I was saying.
‘Really? I always thought you just did drama because it was fun and you’ve always liked doing lots of different things. Why didn’t you tell me it was so important to you?’ she said, sounding hurt.
‘I don’t know. I guess I didn’t really understand it myself,’ I said.
‘Okay, whatever,’ she said.
But she really didn’t seem to get it. Maybe if we just did normal things together, she’d see that nothing had to change.
‘You want to do something? It’s still early.’
She shook her head. ‘Nah. I’m going over to Maggie’s later. I would’ve asked you to come, but we’re doing netball stuff.’
‘Oh. Right,’ I said, feeling awful as I realised she’d found someone else who shared her netball dream.
‘Besides, don’t you have lines to learn?’ she said, as she turned and walked out of the room.
I felt horrible. We’d never had a fight like this. I wasn’t even sure if she’d forgive me. I followed her down the hall to the front door.
‘Pick me up in the morning?’ I said hopefully. We always rode to school together.
But she shrugged. ‘Think I’m going in early.’
‘Okay,’ I said, defeated. Usually we would hug each other goodbye, but today I just grabbed my bike and left. By the time I reached the road, she’d already gone back inside.
I rode home feeling sick. It had been hard enough making the choice between netball and acting. Now Tess was making me feel like it was somehow about her.
Jean was waiting for me as I walked in. ‘Bad?’ she asked.
I just nodded.
‘Come on. I’ll do your nails.’
‘No thanks,’ I said, dreading the idea. I couldn’t work out why my sister thought a manicure would solve anything.
But Jean ignored me. ‘I have chocolate. I have those horrible red jelly snakes you like, and I have twelve different colours of nail polish to choose from. What else are you going to do? Go upstairs and sulk?’
That had totally been my plan. To lie on my bed, staring at my phone and hoping for a text from Tess. I could see Jean’s point. It was kind of pathetic. Besides, red snakes. And chocolate.
Jean must have seen that I was wavering. She held up a bottle of lime green nail polish. ‘Bet the part would rock this colour,’ she said.
‘Nail polish didn’t exist back then.’
Jean shrugged. ‘Well, if Juliet was around now, she’d be totally into it.’
I rolled my eyes and reached for the enormous block of chocolate on the table, but Jean snatched it away before I could grab it.
‘No manicure, no chocolate,’ she said, holding it high above her head. ‘Come on. Green is definitely your colour.’
I sighed, giving in. ‘Alright, alright.’
Looking triumphant, she handed me the chocolate and manoeuvred me into a chair. She took hold of my right hand and eyed my stubby little chewed-off fingernails, looking horrified. ‘Gross. You don’t have any nails!’
‘I can’t. Because of netball.’
Jean rolled her eyes. ‘Bo-ring,’ she said, dunking my hand into a bowl of goopy water. ‘I’m glad you’re doing the play. You’ll be much more fun now. Besides, I heard you were pretty good.’
Despite how bad I felt about Tess, I smiled. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Jean never said nice things to me.
‘Who told you that?’ I asked.
‘I have contacts,’ she said mysteriously.
While Jean painted and filed and polished my nails, I ate half a block of chocolate and about a gazillion red snakes. But I still felt awful. Even though I’d known Tess would react the way she did, I was hurt that she wouldn’t even try to understand why I was doing the play. I reminded myself
that soon I’d be onstage, and it would all be worth it. At least, I hoped so.
‘O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?’ I said theatrically into the tiny mirror near my bed.
‘Juliet had better hurry or she’s going to be late for school!’ yelled Jean through the door.
‘Juliet doesn’t go to school!’ I yelled back.
‘I think her mum might have something to say about that,’ called Jean.
I looked at my phone. Argh! She was right. I’d have to ride like the wind if I was going to make English. It was all Tess’s fault for going in early. She’d usually come by in the morning and hurry me up. I wondered if she’d sit next to me in class, or if that was off limits now, too. I grabbed my bag, then ducked back to check my hair before racing down the stairs. My bright green nails flashed at me as I ran. Jean was right, they did sort of cheer me up.
‘Want to ride together?’ called Jean as I hit the bottom step and almost went flying.
‘Ah, sure.’ I was still a bit suspicious about why Jean was being so nice to me, but I was glad to have the company.
‘What’s with your hair?’ she said, staring at the flicked bits at the side. I’d tried to do something new – obviously it hadn’t worked.
‘Bad?’ I waited for the crushing comment, but it didn’t come. Instead, she flipped out a hairbrush from her backpack and started fixing it. ‘Maybe we could have another hair lesson tonight,’ Jean said, yanking the brush through my hair.
‘Ow!’ I tried to move away but the brush was wedged. ‘I can’t tonight. I have drama class.’
‘Oh, is that why you’ve done this to yourself?’ said Jean, gesturing vaguely in my direction.
Panicking, I looked down at the top I was wearing. It was a new green shirt that Mum had bought me for Christmas. I thought it looked good. Anyway, I didn’t have time to get changed. But Jean shook her head. ‘The clothes are fine. But the hair … it’s wrongtown.’
Any chance I had of making it to school on time went out the window as I waited impatiently for Jean to fix me. After what felt like ages, she stood back and smiled, pleased with herself. ‘That’s better. Not great, but given what I had to work with …’
‘Thanks a lot,’ I said, rolling my eyes. ‘Can I go now?’
By the time I’d pulled on my helmet, ridden to school, then taken it off again, I’m sure my hair looked exactly the same as it did every other day. But now I was also late. I skidded into class, wrote down some stupid excuse, and looked around for Tess. She was sitting next to some girl I’d never really noticed before, and there was no spare seat for me. In fact, the only seat left was right at the back of the class. I had to squeeze past about ten other kids just to get to it.
By the time I sat down, dropping all my stuff on the desk and getting a dirty look from Mr Eccles, I was feeling pretty awful. Usually I loved English, but today it was impossible to focus. I kept sneaking little looks over at Tess, but she didn’t look back. Not once.
After class, I packed up really quickly to try and catch Tess before she escaped out the door. But as I slid my books into my bag I heard a voice behind me whisper,‘Only a few hours until we know!’
I spun around. It was Freddy. He looked even cuter than usual in a white skater T-shirt and jeans.
‘Excited, my lady?’he asked, giving me a theatrical bow.
Grinning, I nodded. I liked being called ‘my lady’. ‘I can’t wait.’
Freddy nodded. ‘Me either. I’m dying to find out what part I got.’ Then he rolled his eyes. ‘Pity I have double maths to get through first!’
I pulled a sympathetic face, but before I could say anything, I saw Tess walk out, looking super sad. I dashed off, calling back,‘Gotta go! Later, Freddy.’
Tess was already outside by the time I caught up with her. I was glad to see that the girl she’d been sitting with in class had disappeared. At least we could talk alone.
‘Tess?’ I called, chasing after her.
‘Doesn’t Freddy want to walk to class with you?’ she said, refusing to even look at me.
I was pleased to see she was still wearing her friendship bracelet. We’d bought them years ago. They were identical, and the only time we took them off was for netball games, and only because the umpires made us. Surely that meant she hadn’t given up on me altogether?
‘Can we just talk? Please?’ I begged.
But she just started walking faster. I knew she had geography now, so I probably wouldn’t see her again until lunch. That is, unless she decided not to meet me in our usual spot near the netball ring. Our school was a big place – it would be easy to hide for an hour.
‘Go and find one of your drama friends, Edie. Maybe they’ll understand,’ she said, walking into her geography class and leaving me outside, feeling awful.
I know we’d always talked about playing state netball together, but I’d never imagined that would mean giving up drama. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that it was Tess’s idea to try out for state netball. I’d just gone along with it. She’d begged our Sapphires coach to put us forward. She’d found out the tryout dates. She’d tried to get me to practice before, during and after school – though I’d managed to negotiate that down to just lunchtimes.
I’d always loved playing netball, but maybe Jean was right. Maybe it did come easy to me, maybe that’s why I’d stuck with it. Maybe it was time to chase my own dreams. And that meant playing Juliet.
It also meant I was also going to be late for chemistry, if I didn’t get myself into gear.
Somehow, I made it to chemistry on time. I sat on a stool and took out my books reluctantly. Chemistry wasn’t one my better subjects. When I looked up, I realised Jackson was sitting on the stool next to me.
‘Hi,’ he said with a smile. ‘You excited about finding out your part?’
‘Yeah,’ I said, wishing I could just tell him.
‘You’d make a great Juliet,’ he said, fiddling with his books restlessly.
‘Thanks,’ I said. I knew Jackson had tried out for Romeo – we’d all watched each other’s auditions – but everyone assumed Freddy would get that part. I hoped Jackson wouldn’t be too unhappy with a smaller role.
‘So, are we blowing anything up today?’ asked Jackson.
‘I hope so,’ I said, remembering the class when we’d experimented with Bunsen burners and weird-smelling chemicals. The reaction had made little blue clouds of smoke puff up around the room. We’d been nagging Mr Gibson, our chem teacher, for explosions ever since.
‘Right, could everyone take out their notebooks?’ said Mr Gibson. Jackson already had his book out, but he wasn’t writing notes. He seemed to be drawing. I tried to lean closer to see the picture, and accidentally bumped into him. His pencil slipped, dragging a black line right across the page.
‘Sorry,’ I whispered.
‘That’s okay. It’s only pencil,’ he said, rubbing out the line. Then he slid the book over so I could see the pictures properly. There were little elf-like creatures dotted across the page, with tiny wings and tiny faces. They were pretty incredible. All I ever did in class was scribble notes to Tess. I slid it back with an impressed smile. He shrugged, pretending not to care what I thought, but I think he was secretly pleased. He blushed a bit, just like I did when Kerry said I’d done something well in drama class.
It turned out that Jackson wasn’t just good at drawing. He was also really good at chemistry – so he made the perfect lab partner. He explained why certain reactions happened when chemicals were mixed and amazingly, I almost understood him!
When the lunch bell sounded, I hurried off, anxious to see if I could talk to Tess. ‘See you later, J
ackson,’ I said. ‘Thanks for the chemistry help!’
I raced to the netball court but I couldn’t see Tess anywhere. Normally we borrowed a ball from the sports club and shot goals while we ate our lunch. But Tess wasn’t waiting by the netball ring today. There were a few other girls hanging around, but I didn’t know them – they weren’t in my year level. I hung around hoping Tess was just buying her lunch at the school canteen, but after exactly seven and a half minutes, I knew she wasn’t coming. This was the first time I hadn’t eaten lunch with my best friend since we’d started high school. It felt awful.
I sighed, eyeing my soggy sandwich miserably. It drooped in my hand, seeming to match my mood. I tossed it into the bin and went off to the canteen. When in doubt, the cheese pizza is always edible, and makes a good alternative to some of the strange things I find in my lunch box.
All around me, kids were hanging out with their friends. I knew I could find people to have lunch with, but my best friend not talking to me somehow made the idea of hanging out with anyone else even less appealing. I kept wondering where Tess was.
I didn’t have to wait long to find out. Three bites into my pizza, just as the hot cheese fell off and burnt my lip, I saw Tess walk around the corner with a girl called Saskia. I knew she played netball because she’d been in one of the inter-school sports teams, but I’d never played with her. I wondered how Tess had suddenly become so friendly with her. Tess was bouncing a netball and laughing as they walked. She didn’t seem to be missing me at all. Unless she was pretending – but if she was, she could have acted her way into the school play, it was that convincing.
I had two choices. Either I could pretend I hadn’t seen her and wait for her to come to me, or I could dump the rest of my pizza in the bin and take off after her. Who was I kidding? I didn’t even really like cheese pizza.
As I rounded the corner past the theatre, I saw Tess on the netball court shooting a goal. At first I thought she was alone, but then I saw Saskia scoop the ball up and take a turn. They were practicing shooting goals. Just like Tess and I usually did at lunchtime. I felt sick. I couldn’t believe Tess had replaced me already.