by Nova Weetman
‘Okay, we’re going to run the death scene,’ said Kerry. Freddy, Belle, Jackson and the rest of the cast in the scene made their way onto the stage. I felt torn. Part of me wanted to run and the other part wanted to watch. So far I’d managed to avoid watching Freddy and Belle together, but Jackson was on stage too, and I’d have felt bad if I didn’t stay and support him. I just hoped Freddy and Belle wouldn’t kiss.
As the scene started, I couldn’t stop watching Freddy. He owned the part completely. He already knew his lines and gave them such meaning and heart. I totally believed he was in love with Juliet. He knelt next to Belle, who lay presumed dead on the floor, held up the bottle of poison and whispered,
‘From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!
Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on
The dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark!
Here’s to my love!’
As Freddy drank the bottle of poison, I realised I was sitting on the edge of my seat, nervously waiting for the end of the scene.
‘O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.’
Freddy bent down and kissed Belle, then pretended to die alongside her.
It’s only acting. That kiss meant nothing, I told myself. So why did it seem so real? Kerry’s loud applause broke the moment, and I watched as Belle sat up and Freddy smiled tenderly at her.
‘That was great,’ said Kerry. ‘Fantastic. And enough for today!’
Freddy and Belle walked off stage together. I heard her laugh, and then saw him place his hand on her back. I was beginning to doubt that it was just acting.
‘Wishing it was you playing Juliet?’ asked Jackson as he grabbed his bag from the seat behind me.
His question made me realise he knew I liked Freddy – or maybe it was just the look on my face, seeing them walk off together. ‘Actually, not really. I’m having enough trouble nailing all the Nurse’s lines!’
He smiled. ‘Do you want to run lines now?’
I totally surprised myself by nodding. Here I was lusting after Freddy, while making plans to run lines with Jackson. Talk about complicated!
I had a couple of huge speeches that were longer than anything I’d ever said on stage, so we started with them. Jackson read the other parts and I said my lines. When he read Juliet’s speeches, he’d put on this high-pitched voice, making me laugh so much I struggled to get a word out.
‘You’re making it impossible!’
‘Sorry,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’ll be professional.’ But his eyes sparkled as he said it.
‘I love the speech the Nurse gives when she thinks Juliet has died,’ I said.
Jackson nodded. ‘O woeful day?’
‘Yeah, that one. How good is it? It’s so beautiful. The rhythm. The words. The meaning. I love it!’
Jackson immediately launched into the speech. ‘O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day, most woeful day.’ He smiled. ‘I could definitely see myself using that when I’d forgotten to hand in my maths assignment.’
I laughed. ‘Yeah, well, Mr Murphy is kind of scary when you hand things in late.’
‘I’ll say. He actually rang my mum the last time I was late with something. Even she was terrified!’
I knew I should be heading home, but talking to Jackson was really great. I was missing my best friend, and it was nice to be having fun again.
‘So if you love that speech so much, does that mean you like your role?’
I thought about it. A small part of me still wished I was playing Juliet, but I was beginning to see that a smaller role could be fun, too. The Nurse was a key character, and had some great speeches, but I didn’t have to be on stage the whole time. And that was kind of a relief, especially after my weird stage fright during rehearsal.
‘Yeah, I think I do. You were right, she’s a good character.’
Jackson pretended to look shocked. ‘Never!’
My phone beeped and I pulled it out quickly, hoping for a message from Tess. But it was just Jean, asking me what I wanted for dinner. I made a face.
‘Do you have to go?’ asked Jackson, sounding disappointed.
‘Yeah, I’d better. My sister’s cooking dinner. Well, cooking is probably a bit generous, but still.’
We stood up at the same time and sort of crashed into each other. I’m not sure who was more embarrassed, but we both jumped back at the same time, blushing.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said, rushing off.
‘Thanks for your help,’ I called after him.
Weird. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I kind of liked him. And that maybe he liked me too. But then, if I liked Jackson, where would Freddy fit in?
Some days I ate lunch with the cast, but today I was going over my lines on my own. Suddenly I heard a voice at my shoulder. ‘Aren’t you playing Juliet?’
I looked up, shocked. It was Tess. It took me a minute to realise I’d never told her about the mix-up. We hadn’t spoken since I’d chosen to do the play.
I shook my head. ‘No, I’m the Nurse.’
She pulled a face. ‘You gave up netball to play a nurse?’
So she still didn’t understand. ‘Not a nurse. The Nurse. It’s a really great part.’ I realised I wasn’t just being defensive – I’d fallen in love with the part. I’d also figured out that I wasn’t ready to play a major part like Juliet. My stage fright was bad enough, even in a much smaller role.
‘Wow. So it wasn’t just about being Juliet – or getting closer to Freddy. You really wanted to be in the play,’ Tess said quietly.
I nodded, even though it wasn’t strictly true. I wouldn’t have given up playing state if I had known I was being cast as the Nurse, but once it was done, I didn’t really feel like I had a choice.
‘How’s netball going?’ I asked, desperate for a normal conversation with my best friend.
Tess was about to answer when Saskia appeared and grabbed her arm. ‘Come on Tess, let’s go practice.’
I couldn’t believe Saskia was about to ruin it. I willed Tess to tell her to go practice on her own, but instead she nodded and said,‘See you, Edie,’ with a sad look on her face.
‘Bye,’ I said, watching them walk off. At least Tess had looked like she missed me, and maybe wanted to talk more. That was something, wasn’t it?
‘Did you hear about Belle?’ asked Freddy, rushing up to me as I walked into the theatre.
‘No. What?’ I sighed to myself, expecting him to tell me that she’d got a new haircut, or something equally exciting.
‘Her mum just got some big job overseas – and she starts in two weeks.’
‘Two weeks? Are you serious?’ I said, wondering what that meant for Belle.
Freddy nodded, his shoulders slumped. For a second I felt happy about the idea of Belle leaving the play – I could spend more time with Freddy! But then I saw how upset he was. The look on Freddy’s face made me realise just how close he and Belle had become.
‘What about the play?’ I asked, trying not to be jealous.
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her. I just got a text.’
‘Are you okay?’ I wanted to give Freddy a hug, but I wasn’t sure if I should.
‘Not really, Edie. We’ve become really …’ He stopped, looking gutted.
At that second Kerry walked into the theatre carrying a bag of scripts. She looked as harried and overwhelmed as Freddy did.
‘Oh, Freddy, you’ve heard,’ she said, noticing the look on his f
ace.
He nodded. ‘Yeah.’
‘We need to recast. Tonight,’ she said.
Freddy blinked. ‘What? Recast? Why?’
‘Belle’s pulled out. She’s moving overseas.’
Freddy slumped. ‘Oh. I didn’t know that bit.’
I couldn’t believe it. Even though I didn’t really like Belle, I did feel sorry for her. She’d got a dream role, and now she had to drop out.
‘Come on, it’ll be okay,’ Kerry reassured him. ‘We still have time to find a new Juliet.’
As she said the words, I realised what this meant. The part I wanted was being recast. The part that I’d thought was mine. Kerry must have had the same thought, because she looked straight at me and smiled.
But it was Freddy who looked up at me and said, ‘Edie can play Juliet. I’d feel okay if it was you, Edie.’
‘Thanks,’ I said tentatively, not sure what he was saying. Why would he feel okay if it was me? But before I could work it out, Kerry stepped in.
‘Maybe it’s fate after all, Edie. What do you think? Do you want to play Juliet?’
Did I? I didn’t know. It was all I’d wanted at first, but I’d learnt the lines for the Nurse, and I really liked the part. I also wasn’t sure how I felt about being someone’s replacement.
‘But what about the Nurse?’I said to Kerry, surprised that I felt so strongly about my character.
Kerry shrugged. ‘We can find someone else for that part. It’s Juliet I’m most worried about.’
‘Oh,’ I said, a bit hurt that Kerry thought the Nurse was so much less important. ‘Um, I’m not sure.’
Kerry looked at me strangely. ‘I thought you desperately wanted to play Juliet?’
‘I did. I do. I’m just … can I think about it?’
Kerry nodded. ‘Tell me first thing tomorrow, okay?’
The rest of the cast started filing in, and Kerry explained what was happening. Several people shot me funny looks – I guess because they knew I’d auditioned for the part.
Jackson leant over and whispered, ‘You must be happy?’
I shrugged. ‘Not sure,’ I whispered back.
He nodded, like he understood. Kerry broke us into small groups to run the scenes that Juliet wasn’t in. It was a strange rehearsal. Freddy seemed lost, and sad. And I kept forgetting my lines – I couldn’t stop thinking about what I should do.
As I rode home from the theatre, I didn’t even think about where I was going. Before I knew it, I found myself knocking on Tess’s front door. For once, it wasn’t the twins who answered. Tess was still in her state netball tracksuit – she must have just come from training.
‘Hi,’ I said softly.
‘Edie? What are you doing here?’
I shrugged, then blurted out,‘I miss you.’
She smiled. ‘I miss you too. I spend all my time with my brothers. If I see another soccer ball I’ll do more than just kick it! I need conversation,’ she said, pulling a face, and dragged me into the house.
As we walked into her room, I gave her a stupid massive hug. ‘I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been stuck with Jean.’
Tess squirmed and laughed. ‘Hey, you’re squashing me!’
‘Sorry. I’ve missed you so much!’
As Tess pulled away, she looked at me. ‘Really? Even with all those new acting friends?’
‘Oh yeah, I forgot about them. Wait, who are you?’
Tess rolled her eyes. ‘Hilarious.’
‘But what about Saskia? I thought you guys were friends?’
‘Oh, please. If you think I’m obsessed with netball, try hanging out with her for more than five minutes! Bo-ring.’
She looked at me, really seriously. ‘So you’re really okay with not playing Juliet?’
‘Well, actually … it turns out Belle’s moving overseas, so Kerry just offered me the part.’
‘That’s awesome,’ said Tess.
‘Yeah. It’s nice that she thinks I can do it,’ I said.
Tess gave me one of her looks. ‘Wait, why aren’t you sounding excited?’
‘Well, the Nurse is actually a really great part, and I know all my lines, and I don’t know if I want to take on something as huge as Juliet after all. It feels like it’s Belle’s part now, even if she’s not here, you know?’
She shrugged. ‘Stupid reasons. Take the part.’
I groaned. ‘It’s not that simple. I’m not sure about playing Juliet to Freddy’s Romeo, either.’
‘I thought you liked him?’ She threw a hand to her forehead. ‘Freddy, Freddy, wherefore art thou Freddy?’
I rolled my eyes at her. ‘I do like him. But I don’t know if I want to kiss him on stage. And then there’s Jackson,’ I added quietly, causing her to squeal.
‘Jackson? The guy in our English class last year?’
I nodded.
‘He’s definitely cute. But what does he have to do with whether or not you play Juliet?’ she snapped, sounding annoyed.
‘Why do you sound mad?’ I asked.
‘I thought you came here because you missed me, but you just want advice. You ditched me so you could play Juliet. And now you don’t want the part. What do you expect me to say?’ said Tess coolly.
I wanted her to say she understood that it was a hard decision to make. I wanted her to tell me what to do. But maybe she was right. I had to figure this out myself.
I did want to play Juliet. It was a dream role, and this would probably be my only shot at it. And yes, okay, kissing Freddy would probably be dreamy. But the Nurse was a great part too, and I knew the role so well now. Besides, I was still a bit concerned about stage fright. Should I play Juliet, the part I’d always wanted, or stick with the role I knew, and now loved?
As I texted Tess to say I was sick and couldn’t go to training, I actually started feeling sick. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d lied to her. I hated doing it, but I really didn’t have a choice. If I told her the truth – that I was going to the disco with Finn – she’d be furious.
I hit send, hoping she wouldn’t call me. But of course my phone started ringing almost as soon as I’d put it down.
‘Edie? You okay?’ said Tess. Her concern made me feel even worse.
‘Yeah, just not feeling great. Sore throat. Headache. You know,’ I said.
‘Poor you. That sucks that you have to miss training,’ she said, as if it was the worst thing in the world. ‘That must be why you were so off your game last week. You were getting sick,’ said Tess.
I wasn’t about to tell Tess that the real reason I’d been off my game last week was because Finn had made me nervous. Instead, I snuffled pathetically into the phone, pretending my cold was really bad.
‘Do you want me to drop in on the way home and talk you through the session?’ Tess offered.
Eek. Thinking quick, I said, ‘That’s okay, I don’t want you to get it too. Besides, I might be asleep. Justine said she can run me through any play changes before Saturday’s game.’
‘But what if you’re not better by then?’ said Tess.
‘I’m sure I will be.’
‘Okay. Just text me if you change your mind.’
‘Thanks, Tess. Hopefully I’ll see you in the morning.’ I coughed a little, to reinforce how sick I was. My drama classes were paying off.
I hung up, feeling awful. But I knew there was no way she’d understand. I loved netball, but I didn’t love the way it had taken over my life. Besides, I’d already said yes to Finn. I shouldn’t have to change my plans just because a last-minute training session had been arranged.
I really hoped that Finn hadn’t said anything to Maggie about me coming to the disco. If he had, I was in trouble.
I glanced at the clock. Actually, I was alr
eady in trouble. I only had 56 minutes left to get ready!
I pulled on my pastel green jeans and a stripy top that Tess bought me for my birthday last year. It was a bit dressier than the things I normally wore, but still not over the top. Now I just had to fix my hair. And maybe borrow some of Jean’s lip gloss – if I could find it.
Finding anything in the bathroom Jean and I shared was kind of impossible. Because the bathroom was upstairs, away from our parents, they pretty much left us to it. And cleaning wasn’t really our strong point. There was stuff everywhere. The top three drawers were stuffed full of Jean’s make-up. The bottom drawer was mine. All that was in it was a first-aid kit, a ton of band-aids, the udder cream Maggie’s mum had given me and the flower hairbrush I’d had for years.
I found a stash of lip glosses, and picked the one that smelled the nicest. It was all sticky, and didn’t taste like strawberry at all. But it looked good. I think. I found myself wishing Jean was home so I could ask her.
I brushed my hair and fluffed up my fringe with my fingers. There wasn’t much I could do with it. It was either wear it out or put it in a ponytail, and since I always wore it in a ponytail, I figured leaving it out might make a nice change.
I suddenly felt really nervous. I didn’t actually know Finn very well. It was weird not being able to talk to Tess about it. I’d never even been out with anyone before, and now that I actually had a date, I couldn’t even tell her.
I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Mum was in there, cutting up vegies. She must have noticed that I wasn’t wearing a tracksuit as usual, because she said,‘You look nice, Edie. Where are you off to?’
‘Um, the football club disco.’
Mum stopped cutting the potatoes and looked up properly. ‘Really?’
‘Uh huh. I asked Dad if it was okay and he said yes.’
This was sort of what happened in our house. Mum was at work so much that usually Jean or I would ask Dad’s permission for something. Then he’d forget to tell Mum, and then she’d be all surprised.