“Yes, but he’s not here. Who are you again?” Who is this man and what does he want with Grant? He’s creeping me out, so I take a step back into the apartment, placing the door between us, ready to shut and lock it if necessary.
“Where are my manners?” The man thrusts his hand toward me, but I don’t take it so he lets it fall back to his side and continues. “Adam Mendle. I’m a scout. I was hoping to speak with Mr. Fisher while I was in town.”
A scout? This could be good for Grant, but something about this man seems off. I don’t want to give him Grant’s information. If he really is a scout, then he should go to the school and speak with him there.
“Grant’s at school. You should go and speak with him there. I’m sure his coach would like to be present. Or his mother.”
He thanks me for my time and heads down the stairs, looking back up at me and waving as he exits the main entrance. How did he get in here? Did someone forget to lock that door?
I call Grant to let him know that I’m on my way to pick him up. I need to tell him about the scout showing up at my door. I was going to wait to tell him until we were on our way, but then I notice that the scout is following me. I’m still on the phone with Grant so I fill him in.
“Hey, so I’m gonna tell you something and I don’t want you to freak out.”
“Not the best way to keep me calm. What’s up?” He sounds carefree and happy this morning. I have a feeling that what I’m about to tell him will change that.
“This man showed up at my door this morning. He said he was a scout and he was looking for you.”
“I’ve already talked to all the scouts, I thought. Why didn’t he go to the high school?”
“That’s what I told him. Here’s the thing, and this is where you don’t freak out on me, he’s following me right now. I can see him in the car behind me.”
“Where are you?” Grant quickly asks.
“About a block from your place.”
“Do not come here, Madison. That’s not a scout.” There’s a sense of urgency in his voice that scares me.
“Grant,” I say, his name catching in my throat as I speak. “Who’s following me?”
“I want you to go to school. Go to class like you normally would. He’s going to follow you until I show up. You need to stay away from me today. I’ll figure it out and call you later.”
The man’s face flashes in my mind as I opened the door. I recognized him. He looked familiar. Not because I knew him. He resembled Grant. “Your father.”
“Yes, Madison. It’s my father. I need for you to stay away from me right now. He won’t bother you or try to talk to you again. If I know him, he’ll tail you until he realizes that I’m not going to show up. Just make sure that you don’t let on that you know he’s following you, okay?”
“I can do that. Please, Grant, be careful and call me later. I need to know your safe.”
“I will. Let me know if he disappears. As long as he’s following you, we know where he is.”
“I love you.” The need to tell him is overwhelming. The need to hear him say it back is even more so.
“I love you, too. Everything is going to be fine. I promise.” His words cause me to let out the breath I was holding, relieved to know that it’s going to be fine.
I hang up, setting my phone in the passenger seat. Taking a left at the next light, Grant’s father follows me. As I park my car, I look around as nonchalantly as possible to see if he followed me into the parking lot. I see his car parked a few rows over, facing my direction. He’s sitting inside, watching me.
Doing as Grant asked, I head to class and sit nervously in the back of the room. I text Grant to let him know I made it to school and that I was followed. He doesn’t reply instantly like I expect, so I hold onto my phone the entire class, checking it periodically to make sure I didn’t miss a message from him. Nothing. I’m starting to worry. It’s not like him to not respond, even if it does take him a minute. I’m sure he’s busy. I’m sure they’re trying to figure out what to do, but he promised me everything was going to be okay. I need for everything to be okay.
When I return to my car an hour later, his father is still watching. He’s on my tail as soon as I turn onto Main Street and head toward the high school. He won’t be allowed to park in the student lot, and I doubt he’s stupid enough to park in the visitor’s lot. For the first time all year, I’m glad Grant doesn’t go to the same school as me. At first I thought it would be nice to be able to see him all day every day. Now, I’m glad his school is across town, far away from the man that’s following me, looking for him.
Libby can tell that something is off as soon as she spots me walking into the cafeteria. I brush her off and try to get her to talk about her weekend. She falls for it after a few minutes of persisting when I ask questions about Chester and the party. I stare at her, pretending to listen intently. The entire time I’m thinking about Grant and how I can help him. The Foundation helped him and his mother once, I’m sure we can find a way to help him again. We have to. I can’t lose him now. We just found each other again.
After checking my phone for messages, I excuse myself halfway through lunch. Still nothing from Grant. My heart is starting to ache at the thought that he might be in danger right now and I can’t do anything to stop it. I need fresh air and a moment alone. As I enter the garden, I hear footsteps behind me getting closer and closer. I stop and turn quickly, ready to beat the crap out of whoever is following me. I should have known it was Libby. Who else would be coming after me?
“All right. Something is going on with you and you are going to tell me right now.”
With her hand on her hip and a no-nonsense look on her face, Libby puts her foot down on my evasive maneuvers. I appreciate the fact that she cares and her loyalty, but I can’t tell her what’s going on. It would only make the situation worse.
“It’s nothing, really. It’s just been a crappy morning and I’m kind of blah.” I avoid eye contact with her the best I can, focusing on the people passing by the window behind her.
“Didn’t you get to see Grant this morning?” Her voice softens as she approaches. It’s not until I see her face that I realize that she’s making fun of me being in a bad mood.
“Um, he had an appointment or something, with a scout I think. He wasn’t in class.” My answer is rushed, causing Libby to squint her eyes at me in disbelief of what I’m telling her.
“Did he get his truck fixed?” Now she’s starting her usual inquisition, trying to get to the bottom of what’s really going on. Thankfully, I see the signs and it’s not going to work like it normally does.
“No. It’s still at my place.” I brush her question off and take a seat on the closest bench, relaxing back into my seat and staring up at the passing clouds.
“Are you picking him up from practice today then?” she asks, taking the seat next to me.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I watch as the clouds slowly pass by, a shiver running up my spine.
“You should. Maybe that’ll get you out of your funk.” My eyes meet hers and I force a smile. Her suggestion is noted. If Grant comes over later, I’m sure I’ll be out of this funk, at least for a few minutes.
Nodding my head as the bell rings, I ask Libby about her plans for the game this Friday, successfully changing the topic. She’s surprised that I’m riding with Lucy. Megan is driving her and Chester since her car is still in the shop. When she asks if I want to sit with them, I politely decline, not interested in having a replay of the last football game. I no longer feel the need to prove to Megan that Grant and I are together. I’m pretty sure she got the message, plus I’m sure seeing me with his mother will be a slap in her face. I don’t need to rub salt in her still open wounds.
I keep a close watch on my way home for Grant’s dad, but I don’t see him following me any longer. When I call Grant to tell him, he doesn’t answer, causing me to worry. All I can think is that he promised me everything was going to be o
kay. My first instinct is to go to his house, but he told me not to. Instead, I head to the Foundation, hoping that Lucy might be there.
Waving to Harold as I pass, I head straight for Lucy’s office. Her door is closed, so I knock. No answer. I head back up front to talk to Harold, but he’s not at his desk. In fact, I don’t see anyone roaming around. Looking down at my watch, it’s only a little after three o’clock. Someone should still be around.
There has to be a way to find answers. In search of anything that might be helpful, I head to my office and start pulling binders off the shelf. Protocol. There has to be a protocol for every situation. Lucy and Grant are part of the program. I’m sure this isn’t the first time someone has been found. What would Grandma normally do in a situation like this?
Skimming each binder, I find what I’m looking for after only a few minutes. My worst fears are confirmed after reading only the first sentence.
Should any participant in the program be placed in imminent danger, please refer to the section on relocation.
He’s leaving. He might already be gone. He didn’t call. He can’t. I’ve lost him again.
Throwing the binder across the room, I almost hit Harold as he walks into my office. “I’m so sorry, Harold. I didn’t see you.”
“It’s quite all right, Miss Madison. I have something for you.” Harold hands me an envelope with my name written on the front in all capital letters.
“Thank you,” I reply as he gives me a weak smile and a wave before closing the door as he exits.
I turn the envelope over in my hands a few times, afraid to open it. I’m assuming it’s either from Grant or Lucy. No one else would have known that I would come here looking for answers.
Sliding my finger under the flap, I carefully open the envelope. Holding my breath as I pull out the single sheet of white paper. As I unfold it, I pray that I haven’t lost him forever.
Madison,
If you’re reading this, then I’m gone. My father is a smart man, and it was only a matter of time before he found us. He’s also a very dangerous man. That’s the reason we left in the first place. We always knew he would find us. He’s persistent, especially when he drinks. He used to threaten my mother, promising to never stop looking for her if she ever left him. It was the one thing I knew he would follow through on in his lifetime. When we left, he lost all control.
People are going to ask you where I am. They’re going to be confused. I’ve told my coaches that my grandfather is ill and that we are moving to take care of him. You can tell people the same or you can tell them nothing. I’ll leave it up to you.
I want you to know that no matter how long it takes, I will find you again. Given the choice, I would stay and fight. For us, for me, for my mother. I don’t have a choice, however, and it’s a fight that I could never win.
I promise not to let it take as long this time. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive without you. You’re my everything, Madison. I love you with all my heart, I have since the day we met and I will for the rest of my life. I can’t imagine my future without you, and I hope you feel the same.
Until we meet again …
Love,
Joshua
As the letter floats to my desk, the tears begin to fall. I cry for Joshua, and all he had to endure before coming here. I cry for Grant, and all that he’s lost because he’s been forced to leave. I cry for Lucy, and all she managed to escape, only to be forced to start over again. Most of all, I cry for myself. As selfish as I feel for crying for my own loss, I can’t help it.
For the first time since losing my mother, and then my grandma, I was finally at a place in my life where I felt things were turning around for me. I felt loved. I was happy. I had found the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. The darkness of those two weeks after the accident were starting to become clear.
Right now, I feel alone. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Tucking the letter back into its envelope and then into my purse, I leave the Foundation and head for the one place that I have left that may bring me a little peace. I don’t want to be alone right now.
Wrapping my coat tightly around me, I take a seat on the bench inside the gazebo and stare at the water. The wind is whipping, causing tiny waves on the normally glassy surface. The chill in the air has kept people away today, so I have the entire place to myself.
“Hey, Grams.” I get choked up just saying her name. I’ve never had to face anything alone. She was always there for me. Not this time. This time, I have to figure out how to handle it myself. “He’s gone. I know you already know this, but I needed to say it out loud. It makes it real.”
The tears begin to fall and I don’t bother to wipe them away. More will replace them and it will be a losing battle that I don’t have the strength to fight.
“I get it now,” I say. “I finally understand why you never told me about him. When I woke up and couldn’t remember anything, it was your way of protecting me from something like this. You knew that he would eventually have to leave, that he couldn’t stay here forever. I wish you had been wrong. I still want you to be wrong. I want to wake up tomorrow and for things to be as they were yesterday. Yesterday was perfect. He was here.”
My voice cracks as the emotions I’ve been pushing down finally begin to rise in my chest. I let out a sob, the pain too great to hold in any longer. Every time I try to reign it in, I break down again. Finally, I let go. Lying down on the bench, I curl into a ball and let it all out. My body shakes violently as the sobs come one after another, tears burning my face.
When I think I can pull myself back together, I sit up and wipe the remnant of tears from my face. “I love him, Grams. I will find him again. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen. One day. I know you left me clues, I just have to find them, and I will.”
Standing, I find my inner strength. This is not the end. Not even close. My life began when I met him. It was shaped when I fell in love with him. It won’t end until we are together again.
Chapter 18
I dedicate myself to solving the mysterious disappearance of Grant. For months, I look through paperwork at the Foundation every day after school. After searching Grandma’s office and coming up empty, I attempt to recruit help. No one knows anything or if they do they’re not telling me. Lucy had been in charge of relocations. She would have been the person to help me.
As graduation approaches, fear starts to rear its ugly head. What if I never find him? What if I leave here and he comes looking for me? Should I stay or should I go? If I do go, where should I go? Where will he look for me?
Closing my laptop, I change and crawl into bed feeling defeated. Twisting the bracelet that’s still tied to my wrist, I close my eyes and remember the look on his face when he gave it to me. I hold on to that, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, as I pray to see him in my dreams tonight. I haven’t dreamt about him in weeks. When the dreams do come, they never end the way I want them to. He always fades away, never saying goodbye. I think that’s the hardest part for me. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
Pounding on my door wakes me. Looking at the clock on my bedside table, I realize that I forgot to set my alarm last night. I’m late. That’s going to be Libby picking me up for graduation, and I’m not ready like I promised her I would be.
“Mads!” I open the door just as Libby hollers my name. “Hey. Why are you not dressed yet?” Taking in my appearance, Libby wrinkles her nose at me.
“I overslept. Give me ten minutes.”
Rushing to the bathroom, I leaving Libby standing in the open doorway. I turn the shower on, and quickly wash my body, not waiting for the water to warm up. Libby has clothes picked out for me and a brush in her hand when I open the bathroom door. She braids my hair quickly after I get dressed, smooths down the fly away hairs, and we’re out the door.
My father stands, clapping as they call my name. I wave to him as I walk across the stage, accept my diploma, and head
back to my seat. After everything that’s happened this year, I’m happy that we were able to make peace with each other. In fact, if it weren’t for my father, I may not have survived loosing Grant.
Chester and Libby were great, but my father is the one who pulled me back up when I thought I couldn’t go on. The day he came to my apartment was a bad day. It was only a week after Grant disappeared and the school called him to check on me after I hadn’t shown up all week. Mrs. Schroder gave him my address, concerned that something may have happened to me since I wasn’t returning her phone calls.
When I looked through the peephole and saw him standing in the hallway, I debated on whether or not I should open the door. Knowing that he wasn’t going to go away, I decided to let him in. He took one look at my appearance and knew that something was horribly wrong.
For the first time since losing my mother, my father wrapped his arms around me and hugged me like a father should. I broke down in his arms, crying for hours before I was finally able to tell him what had happened. I told him everything, including the truth about Grant, knowing that he would keep my secret.
He confessed about the house and apologized for being a horrible father. He blamed himself for the downfall of our relationship. He even confessed that he felt like he forced me to file for emancipation, leaving me no other option than to take control of my life. It was the most honest conversation we had ever had. Heartwarming and real and honest.
Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. I call him regularly just to check in. We have dinner together every Sunday night. Sometimes here and sometimes at his house. He’s teaching me how to cook. It’s a slow process, but I’m getting there. He wanted me to move back in, but I refused. I wanted to prove to him that I could survive on my own. There are days I wish I had moved back home. It would be nice to have someone else around from time to time.
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