by Paul Kelly
Title Page
NOWHERE TO HIDE
A Fiction Tale Of The Holocaust
By
Paul Kelly
Publisher Information
Nowhere to Hide
Published in 2011 by
Andrews UK Limited
www.andrewsuk.com
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
The characters and situations in this book are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happening.
Copyright © Paul Kelly
The right of Paul Kelly to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Chapter One
Duisburg, Germany 1939
I was feeling rather upset after scolding Joshua for hiding Maria’s doll in the cellar. . .
I had told him many times to behave himself, but Joshua being Joshua was a law unto himself, even if he was waiting for his seventh birthday in a fortnight’s time and Maria wouldn’t stop crying or telling me to make her brother respect her toys and leave them and her alone. Times like this were common in the household since we all came back from England to our native country of Germany as there was tension in the air and the talk of war was disturbing, especially as my husband Isaac and myself together with our little family had decided we would stay in London as Isaac and I had gone through university and taken our degrees. He wanted to be a solicitor and I had teaching English on my mind, but with the fear of war, Isaac, my husband insisted that the control and behaviour of the family was my concern and with that resolve, we decided it would be best to return to Germany. I was pleased and content to do as Isaac wished as I was his wife and I had a great love for him, but after the fifth pregnancy, I had hoped that perhaps our love making would take on another form . . . but Isaac was Isaac as Joshua was Joshua and they were so alike that I felt my life was controlled by the love of five men and a girl. Franz and Eric were artistic children, whereas Kurt and Gunther were so much like their father; able to do so much and with so very little effort, but as with the Dad, there was so much time for sitting around and thinking. Maria was just a simple little girl who loved the company of so many males who spoiled her. She looked to me for full protection and whatever she did was just what any little girl would do . . . when she was surrounded by so much love.
I could feel my bump getting larger by the day and hoped this would be my last as I was getting very tired and knew it was no use complaining. To complain was to show a denial of my love for my husband and I knew that would never do, but times were getting to be very difficult and awkward when Adolf Hitler remained as Chancellor and everyone screamed at you when you went out to show reverence and respect by an arm raising gesture and an announcement that Hitler was the supreme being . . .
HEIL HITLER . . . HEIL HITLER . . .and in my heart I would answer, AMEN.
Neither Isaac nor I had any political leanings. We simply wanted to live in peace, but peace in Germany at that time could only be considered if you belonged to the Nazi party and there were so many rules that had to be strictly obeyed that ‘peace’ went out the window. Adolf Hitler was intent on war where he hoped to rule the entire world. Fortunately Isaac had a good job in the council offices, where he had to sign in and out with a Nazi salute, but the ‘drill’ was easy, and the mind could think whatever it wanted, so long as you didn’t voice your opinions and Isaac was content to raise the arm and get on with his job, as long as he and his family were allowed to live in peace.
I had prepared the dinner and was about to hang out some washing in the garden when there was a loud knock on the door which made me look about in fear as this had happened a few days before and an officer from the Third Reich had demanded that Eric should be recruited into the Hitler Youth Organisation, but he was too young. I waited for a few moments before I answered the knock, but as I had suspected, it was the same officer and he looked sternly at me as if to tell me that I had concealed something from him, but I had honestly told him the truth, Eric was only thirteen and the recruitment age was fourteen. I asked him what he wanted and he replied sharply that he had come for my son.
“But I have told you the last time you came here, my son is too young to join this organization and anyway, he is at school. You cannot see him.”
The officer stared at me before he pulled some papers from a brief case.
“You have more than one son, haven’t you?” he demanded and I felt faint as I knew what he was asking and I felt sure that Franz, although he was fifteen would never be happy in an army recruitment centre. Franz was a shy boy and very retired and had not been attending the school for the past week as he was feeling very weak and was being treated for tuberculosis at the hospital.
“I want to see this other boy . . .” he screamed and pushed his way into the house, “Where is he? This boy who is now fifteen. He is able to join the Hitler Youth,” and with that assertion, the officer clicked his heels together sharply and shouted Heil Hitler . . .
Franz must have heard the screaming because he appeared near me at that moment and I tried to stand in front of him but the officer pushed me aside and grabbed Franz by the arm.
“Leave him, “ I shouted, “Leave the boy alone . . . he is only a child, Leave him, “ I demanded but the officer slapped me hard around the face and pulled Franz away from me as he spat on the ground and addressed me as a Jewish slut.
“When we have finished with this one,” he screamed referring to Franz, “He will no longer be a Jewish bastard and he will regret he was ever reared in this fucking household.” I tried everything to keep Franz with me, but the officer was very strong as he pushed me aside and left the house pulling Franz with him and swearing some awful blasphemes as he went which surprised me as I thought immediately from the terms he used that he must be a Jew himself, or someone with such an interest in the Jewish faith that he was free to talk as he did.
I was so distressed, I told the children to run upstairs as I was going to see their Uncle Herman and as Herman only lived a few doors away I knew I wouldn’t be long, I felt it was safe to leave the house for a few minutes. Herman was my cousin from my mother’s side of the family and we grew up together. I locked the front door of my house in the event that some other ‘official’ like ‘The Captain with the swastika on his arm’ might come round to recruit some of my other children for the Hitler Youth.
As I have said, Herman was my cousin on my mother’s side. He was very German in his attitude to life and imagined that Hitler was the salvation for the German people and although I knew this, I knew also that he was a Jew and that he wouldn’t be at all pleased about Franz being taken by force into the Hitler Youth and also at the attitude of the German officer who came to ‘do the necessary’ calling me a Jewish slut . . . but I was in for a very big disappointment . . . Herman looked at me as if I had not understood why the German officer had called to see me as he did. Herman considered the Hitler Youth to be a good way to bring the young people of Germany into line, as there was too much freedom being allowed to the younger generation who knew nothing of discipline in their lives. I started to argue with him, but he dismissed my point as being ‘irrelevant.’
“Franz is in good hands,” he said, “there is nothing to worry about and when he comes home again, you will see that the Hitler Youth organisation h
as made a man of him,” and I reflected on the German officer’s words . . . ‘when we have finished with this one, he will no longer be a Jewish bastard . . .’ but I felt I was wasting my breath in talking to my cousin and with a sigh of capitulation, I returned to the children, but my fears would not go away and I felt it was only a matter of time before this officer would return with some other extraordinary wish, which was confusing to me as I felt sure that none of my children would have wanted to join an army of children who were considered to be the future soldiers of the Fatherland. I waited for Isaac to come home as I was sure he would do something, either by reporting this interfering officer or complaining to the authorities that Franz was too ill to be considered for the Hitler Youth.
Chapter Two
Isaac returned from his office at six o clock that evening and I told him of the events of the day, but he ate his dinner in silence, sniffing occasionally as if he was considering what he should say and I pleaded with him to go to the Town Hall and make a request that Franz, who was too ill and suffering from tuberculosis should be allowed to come home as he was due to go into hospital again very soon, but Isaac continued to eat and sniff and he remained silent and irresponsive to my plea.
“I cannot understand how you can sit there, stuffing your mouth without any comment about the future of your children. Have you gone mad?” I shouted and Isaac stood up and threw his knife and fork to the floor.
“The world has changed now,” he snapped, “Nobody lives like we used to do now that Hitler has taken over this bloody country, but there is bugger-all that anyone can do about it. We have to live as best we can . . . and most importantly of all, you should forget that you are a Jewess, because if you don’t, you will land up in a concentration camp and that is no place for anyone to go into. . . let alone a Jew”
I couldn’t understand what he was talking about. Concentration camps . . . what were they? And I took little Maria in my arms and walked into the garden. I knew that the country had changed since Hitler took over, but I didn’t realize just how drastic these changes were. I was afraid to even think of the changes, if as Isaac said I should forget that I was a Jewess and I remembered how I had first met Isaac. He was a far different person then to what he was now. We met in London, England when I was studying English language in University and wanted to teach English when I went back to Germany. Isaac was training to become a solicitor. We fell in love IMMEDIATELY we met and we married within a few months of our meeting and I changed my name from Hilda Golding to Mrs. Gutfeld. I know that sounds strange but it is true and I have never fallen out of love with Isaac in the ten years we have been married. I remember how after our fist night together when the heavens opened for me with the joy I felt when Isaac caressed me and told me how much he loved me. He gave me a little white rose and told me I would always be a little white rose to him whatever happened in our lives together. Being German or English did not really matter very much to us at that time. We were boy and girl who fell in love and the incidents of our birth were simply accepted, but with no great enthusiasm.
We both knew we wanted to have a large family, but that was before Hitler took over and even now, nothing would have put me off having my children as I adored each and every one of them. They were my life. . . well, they and Isaac of course, but this concentration camp lark worried me as I wasn’t sure what it meant and did it include Jews in its curriculum? If it did, would we not have been better to have remained in England?
Isaac insisted I shouldn’t worry as it was mostly gypsies and homosexuals that were to go into these concentration places, but I understood that EVERYONE had a right to live, regardless of orientation or otherwise and although I had never met any gypsies or homosexuals, I still worried about this place where you were made a prisoner because of something in your life that was in no way a choice of your own. I didn’t choose to be born in Germany. It was the will of my parents and that was the end of it.
Isaac had his dinner and his evening rest in the armchair by the fire, but he was very silent for the rest of the evening until he suddenly got up from his chair, kissed me quickly on the cheek and informed me that he was having an early night as he was very tired and had a busy day to follow. I looked around at the children and they looked back at me.
“Whose first for beddy-byes,” I asked and Maria was the only one who replied. The boys gave me a grave look and it was Eric who asked if Franz would be coming home soon.
“We miss him Mum,” he said and Kurt and Gunther chimed in to say what a smashing brother Franz was . . . something that I had never heard before, but I liked it.
“I think if you all go upstairs RIGHT NOW and say a little prayer before you settle down to sleep, maybe we’ll see Franz again very soon.” I said and Maria called out from her bedroom. “Say one for me too Mum . . . please,” and I became even greater in my thoughts about my children and their intelligence than I had ever been before. “And don’t forget to clean your teeth,” I added swiftly before I went into the kitchen to do the washing up.
Isaac did not sleep at all well that night and when it came to me getting my usual cup of coffee brought to me in bed, I GOT NOTHING. When I got up, Isaac had gone to work, but as I was about to go into the kitchen I saw something that truly surprised and pleased me. I don’t know how or where he got it from but Isaac had left me a little white rose on the kitchen table. I broke my heart as I cried into my nightie before I set about preparing the breakfast for the children.
Strangely enough, although there was a different atmosphere being felt outside in the street, with Nazi flags and screaming praises for Adolf Hitler as the new German leader, my little home continued as before, but I was afraid for Isaac’s feelings as when he did speak to me about the environment in his office, he told me of the difference in people’s opinions and the conclusions were anything but pleasant. If you agreed with the Hitler mob, you were O.K. but if you had any opinion of your own which did not put Hitler at the top of your list, you could be in serious trouble and Isaac told me that he had even known some of his friends to be arrested and sent to prison because they would not raise the arm salute that proclaimed Heil Hitler.
This attitude in the country was very alarming and the disquiet was obvious. Isaac saw this very clearly as being a solicitor he was constantly in the public eye, whereas I was at home with the children all day and the atmosphere was peaceful . . .except for the normal family disagreements and rows, but that was nothing to the changes that were becoming apparent in the country.
It was one evening when the children were rather quiet. Eric and Kurt were out with their friends and the twins, Maria and Gunther were playing quietly at home, with Betsy our little boxer dog puppy, when Isaac put his arms around me and pulled me close to him on the settee.
“My darling,” he said and his voice had a strange tone of fear, “My darling, I don’t want you to worry unnecessarily but I think there is going to be trouble in the country very soon and I could be wrong, but there is a rumour that we could be going to war with Great Britain. It seems that the British Prime Minister, Mr. Chamberlain has been over here to try to make some sort of peace agreement with Hitler, but we don’t know what the outcome of that meeting might be. The British Prime Minister has returned to Britain now, so we might be able to get some information soon, I wish we had a bloody phone in the house. I can’t get in touch with you from the office and when I enquired if we could have a telephone at home, I was told I would have to wait. . . There was a long waiting list, but I think the Nazi conspiracy considered it too dangerous at this time when war could be imminent and people with phones could make some serious difference when it comes to information.”
I was stunned when Isaac told me that news as I immediately thought about the children and how it could affect them if we did go to war with Britain. Alright, the children were young yet, but life goes on and although my sons were ‘children’ they would very soon becom
e men and then a war could affect them grievously where death was immanent for most young men who had to fight for their country. I hoped that what Isaac felt was only an opinion, but he assured me that there was very considerable unrest at his office and some of his staff had thought of immigrating to France or Belgium, but Isaac thought those consideration could be unwise as Hitler had his eye on wider areas. Those who sat with Hitler in his offices in Berlin, knew that the Fuhrer wasn’t just interested in Great Britain. He wanted France, Austria, Belgium and Poland. In fact, HE WANTED TO RULE THE WORLD.
***
It was nearly three o clock in the afternoon; the boys were at school and Maria and Gunther were playing in the garden . . . well, what we called a garden. It was a space between ourselves and our neighbours, but many of the local children used it as a playground.
Isaac rushed into the house and grabbed me by the arm as he pushed me into the kitchen.
“Are the children in?” he asked and I told him that the boys would be home from school in about an hour and the twins were playing outside. “Darling. . . we are in serious trouble,” he said without waiting to hear my reply. . . “Hitler is starting a war with Britain. The news came across in the office a short time ago and we were all told to go home and wait for further information. Apparently, the news stated that Germany would be at war with Great Britain and that was at eleven o’clock this morning. My God . . . another bloody war and its only twenty odd years since the last one. What date is it to day . . .”
“September 3rd,” I said “and it is only 1939.”
“Another date to go down in history,” said Isaac and at that moment the boys came in from school and he went into the living room and squatted on the settee, giving me a look that suggested I should say nothing to the boys.
It was Eric who broke the silence as he surprised us by asking us if we had ever heard of Belsen and Isaac sat up as he stared at Eric in amazement.