“I need you to fuck me,” she said.
I grinned at her, keeping eye contact as I undid my pants. Hell yeah, I didn’t need to be told twice. She was so beautiful, her face glowing, her eyes heavy with lust. Her lipstick had smeared and eyeliner ran down her cheeks but she was more gorgeous like that than any woman I’d ever met.
When I freed my cock, she bent forward, stroking it softly. I could lose my mind with the gentleness of her touch, aching for so much more but not wanting her to stop. I wanted to bury myself balls deep inside her but, even more, I wanted to prolong this moment. I wanted her to look at me like that forever.
I couldn’t believe that she’d come to me like this, so willing and eager. She was an angel and her body was the only place I’d find absolution.
Then someone knocked on the door.
Fuck.
They’d go away.
Only they didn’t. The hammering became incessant.
A look come back to Dee’s face as though she’d been in a trance and just remembered where she was.
“Alex, open this fucking door now or I’ll get the bouncers to knock it down.”
It was Sally. I thought she’d had the night off but she was here, wanting to get into her office.
Dee jumped off the desk and threw her clothes back on. There was no disguising what had happened though. The smell of sex filled the office.
“Fuck, sorry,” I whispered.
She turned away from me.
I put my cock back in my pants, the ache almost killing me, and opened the door for Sally. Dee blushed with embarrassment and looked around the room as though hoping for a way of escape. But there was no escape. Sally would be livid and, while Dee hadn’t realised just how badly Sally would take this, I was fully aware.
Dee
I had to leave the apartment sometime. Two days of sulking in bed and eating pizza achieved nothing except making me bloated and cranky. I wanted to take Past Me and slap her around until she got some freaken sense in her brain.
What had I been thinking?
Obviously, I hadn’t been thinking at all. All the blood had gone to my lady parts, leaving my brain starved of oxygen. And with Alex, of all people. I’d become layers of wrong. Like one of those rainbow layer cakes, only less delicious. I’d seen a hundred rockers playing before and not one of them had filled me with a brainless cock lust, so why did it have to be Alex?
The worst bit was walking home afterwards. I dug my hands deep into my bag, hunting for my keys, and then fished out something. The photo of Jake. It was always with me. I’d made a promise to him, to his memory, and that promise had been to get revenge on Alex, not have crazy, wild sex with him in a store room.
“I’m sorry, Jake,” I whispered.
I couldn’t even lay the blame elsewhere. I’d only had two drinks, so was practically sober, and I couldn’t blame Alex because I’d been the one who went to him. I could only blame the crazy lust that went right to my bones, stirring me up inside.
That made it even worse. If I saw Alex again, who knew when that crazy lust would strike?
I never wanted to hear from Alex again but jumped up every few minutes to check my messages. It wasn’t like I wanted to be his girlfriend. That’s the last thing I wanted. But some acknowledgement would be nice.
God, the sex had been good. It’d been mind-blowingly amazing. As much as I detested myself for what I’d done, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Alex had touched me. Every minute of every day, I had to fight the urge to run to him again. But it was only sex. I could fight it. I had to, if I wanted to live with myself.
We still had the gigs to play, and I had to face Sally again. I lived in Alex’s apartment, played at his club and had taken everything he offered me.
I had to get out from his thrall. There was only one solution. I needed to get a job. That should’ve been obvious from the start. I didn’t need Alex’s charity. If I had my own money, I’d be free.
Pete had been the one to guilt trip me into taking the Devil’s deal and he actually had a job and his own money. I’d do the same. I had experience working in a cafe. Surely, I could do that kind of thing.
I showered and put on some makeup then dressed in my most approachable outfit. I only had sneakers or my biker boots. Maybe sneakers would be best. It said I was used to standing on my feet. And I’d need to put in some leg work to find a job.
I hit the streets, after using Pete’s printer to print out a bunch of resumes. On paper, I didn’t sound like much. I’d have to use enthusiasm and brightness to counteract that. I could fake that, surely.
After an hour of looking for “help wanted” signs though, the enthusiasm became much harder. These people, they wanted everything and would only pay shit for it. One place offered me a free trial for a shift. I said I’d take it, even though I was pretty sure they just wanted to get some free work out of me. The other places had taken my resume and said they might call. They didn’t sound like they would, though.
It was getting late and I needed to go home and pick up my gear for rehearsal. I’d leave the rest of job-hunting for tomorrow. After all, not many people get a job on their first day of looking.
On the way back to the apartment though, I took a short cut down one of the alleyways. I was starting to get my bearings in the city but, halfway down, I heard footsteps behind me. I didn’t want to turn, I just picked up my pace. Once I got back out in the open, I could run into a shop.
That seemed the smart thing to do but a hand grabbed me and I got slammed into a brick wall at the back of a building. That really hurt and I swung around, ready to knock someone’s head off.
My punch connected and the attacker backed off. They were a chick. That was a relief. At least she only wanted to rob me, hopefully. I swung again but they ducked, which sent me flying from the momentum.
Then I realised it was Sally from Trouble. What the hell?
“You bitch. You boyfriend-stealing bitch.” She screamed and put her head down to charge at me.
I grabbed her, trying to stop her before someone got hurt.
“What the hell?”
“You and Alex.” She panted, out of breath. “In my office, of all places.”
I closed up. I knew she’d been pissy but I’d ran out of there so fast, I’d not realised the depth of her rage.
“Alex is your boyfriend?”
“Well, not technically but I called dibs on him when he first came to the club.”
“Dibs? How does that even work? I don’t think Alex is dibs-able.”
She stopped, folded her arms and stared at me.
“You screwed in him on my desk.”
I blushed. We might not have screwed but we’d done enough.
An old lady from one of the apartments opened her window. “Shut up down there. I’m trying to sleep.”
It was 3pm but I wasn’t going to argue with her. I grabbed Sally’s arm and pulled her from the alleyway. The two of us in a screaming match probably wasn’t the best idea.
“I know everything,” Sally said. “It wasn’t hard with a bit of Googling. Alex was in a band with your brother. Your brother is dead. Alex was driving the car.”
“That’s pretty much it.” It was a relief to have someone know. Not that I wanted to keep it a secret but it seemed something you couldn’t easily introduce into a conversation.
“Oh, the big brother’s best friend thing. You’ve wanted him since you were knee-high and would do anything to get him. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I shrugged.
“I saw you go downstairs with him and tried to follow so I could stop you but I got caught up and, by the time I got there, it was too late. It was all ‘ooh Alex, that feels so good, ooh ahhh, ooohh’.”
Sweet Jesus, I hoped I hadn’t sounded like that. I’d not even been aware of anything from the time I’d gone into the office. I’d become a ball of sensation, no thoughts and no rationality. Nothing had existed except my desires.
�
�God, do you have any idea how bad that was. I had to go into work the next day with some industrial strength antibacterial wipes. It’s all well and good to have your fun screwing around but you never stopped to think that was someone’s desk and they have to work on it. Covering someone’s desk with your bodily fluids is not very nice for them, you know.”
Shit, I hadn’t even thought of it like that. I’d not even realised it was Sally’s office at the time. I thought it was a store room or something.
I noticed the coffee shop that Alex had taken me to across the road. I suggested we got coffee since I didn’t really feel that comfortable with someone discussing my bodily fluids in the street.
After we found a table at the back and ordered, I texted the guys to let them know I’d be a bit late for practice.
“The truth of it is that I came here to get revenge on him,” I said.
“Revenge, by screwing him? How does that work?”
“We didn’t actually screw and that was a stupid diversion. Revenge is my goal.”
Revenge had been my goal. It wasn’t even like sex had been part of my game plan. Like if I’d decided to make him fall in love with me so I could heartlessly dump him, that would make sense but I’d just almost screwed him for no reason. Well, no reason except it felt good.
She seemed to relax a bit then and sipped on her Chai Latte. “Maybe I need revenge too.”
“That might ruin your chances with him.”
“Ha, what chances? No matter how hard I try, nothing works. He is only nice to me so I’ll work harder, I know that. And then he told me our relationship was only ever going to be business.”
She sighed.
“Well, you’re much too good for him anyway. He has a fuckton of issues,” I said.
“He’s not even that good-looking.”
“He’s not good-looking at all. He thinks he’s so hot the way he struts around with his body doing that body thing and all, but he’s just average really.”
“And he does that hip thing on stage. I bet he practises that every night in front of the mirror.”
“Yeah, and he’s like, ‘oh Alex, you’re so hot, oh I love you, Alex’.” I puckered up like Alex kissing himself in the mirror.
We both sighed.
“I really need to get over him,” Sally said. “I love my job but it kills me having to work with him.”
She looked grim. I could well imagine how awful it’d be liking someone, and having to see them every day, when they cared nothing for you.
“Well, there are other clubs in this world.”
She nodded. “He really does like you.”
I wasn’t so sure. Was it me he cared about or was it just his guilt? I had no idea how his mind worked. Maybe I should just be playing his guilt, taking everything he gave, but I couldn’t be that person. I could talk about it and daydream it but, when it came to crunch time, I was too damn good mannered.
“Anyway,” she said. “What about those songs?”
“Huh? What songs?”
“Those songs he does with Zero that were written with your brother.”
“What about them?” I’d never heard Alex play any of The Jackals’ songs. Thankfully. I’d never even thought that he might still be playing them. I had no idea how I’d handle hearing those songs again.
“He doesn’t play them often, and usually only does them solo, but there are a couple of songs from his old band that he does from time to time.”
My mouth dropped. I had no idea he’d do something like that. Alex was such a bag of dicks. He’d stopped me playing “Fifteen Minutes of Sunshine” but he was happy to play Jake’s other songs. What a damn hypocrite.
“Are you sure they’re Jake’s songs?”
“Yep. He should have your family’s permission to play them. And be paying you royalties.”
“Wait? I can get money for this?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Hey, how do you know this?”
She tapped the side of her nose. “I know everything about Alex. And I have no moral issues with snooping. Alex thinks he can just dump his shit in my office whenever it suits him. Well, maybe that was because I told him he could, and also he owns the place. But, if it’s in my office, I can read it. Or listen to it. Or crack the password…”
“But how can I prove it? He could just say that he wrote them. It’s not like Jake’s alive to defend himself.”
“True,” said Sally. “I guess I can’t hack his laptop again. He got wise to that. Do you have emails or phone messages from your brother discussing the songs? That could be evidence.”
I’d wiped the hard drive on Jake’s computer then donated it to a local charity but Mum still had his phone.
Sally stood up. “Anyway, I should get to work.”
I nodded. This definitely seemed like an avenue for revenge, a grave that Alex had dug for himself. If I got Mum to send me the phone, I could prove something.
But, did I still want to destroy Alex? That was the question.
Alex
Three days after the gig, I got a call. The call. Even though we’d played the worst gig of my life, they were keen. I had no idea how we’d done it, but those label guys didn’t care. My dreams would finally become a reality.
“Are you free to meet up this week?” the guy had asked on the phone.
“I think I could see my way clear. Just me or the whole band?”
Of course I was free. I was nothing but free. I’d pretty much reschedule anything to make that meeting. They weren’t just any label either; they were one of the top three labels in the world. Well, a branch of that label. Same thing.
“The whole band, of course.”
They set a time and I called the other guys. If those bastards had babysitting duties or work or any other kind of lame excuse for not making this meeting, they needed to know that I would cut their throats.
“You sly dog, you kept this quiet until now? Now I see why you were such an edgy bastard at rehearsal,” Hedley said.
“Yeah, and that’s only going to get worse,” I replied. “We need to step it up a notch or ten.”
The Summer Rock Festival loomed bright on the horizon, with a label backing us. An album in the works. Then, maybe, a smash hit. Fame and fortune. I’d dreamed of it all. I’d done more than have worthless dreams, I’d planned and plotted and worked hard to make sure it happened.
Everything shone in front of me, so real I could almost touch it.
Everything except one thing.
God, I’d made a mess of things with Dee. The best thing to do would be to avoid her in the future. Something like that must never happen again. She was a sweet girl under the tough exterior and needed some guy who would treat her right.
Just thinking about her got me stirred up. There were some things in the world I was not entitled to, though, and she was one of them.
Those lips though, the way that bottom lip quivered with desire. That haunted me. The whimpers she’d made. Every detail, from the smell of her hair tickling my nose, to the chipped red nail polish on her fingers as they caressed my cock, all that haunted my dreams. The nightmares had gone but, in their place was something so precious, so close but so out of reach.
After the moment passed, she’d have had second thoughts. She was having them before she even left the office.
Hell, the best thing I could’ve done was not been so damn good with my fingers and my tongue. If she’d thought I was a lousy lay, then she’d have been only too eager to get away from me.
I rocked up at the music company headquarters. The place could’ve been any drab office building. Definitely not rock.
A guy called Matt met us in reception. He looked around my age and wore a checked sports jacket over a t-shirt. We waited for Fabian and Hedley, while an intern got us coffee.
The guys rocked up in scruffy jeans and t-shirts but I’d put a suit on. That was the best way to deal with people in business. Meet them on their own terms. Hedley gave me the
side eye but he’d soon see the sense of it.
In the meeting, Matt showed us the contract.
Fabian and Hedley were a bit too keen to sign on the dotted line. I told them I needed to get my lawyer to look over things. An offer was just that, an offer. Everything was up for negotiation. There was no way I was going into this unless I knew we’d be a priority on their roster. The more money they invested in us, the harder they’d work to make sure we were a success. That was just basic business sense.
“I’ll get back to you next week,” I told him.
The next few days were a flurry of appointments. Lawyers and more lawyers. The other guys were happy for me to take the lead, naturally. They didn’t want to hang around with boring legal types.
I played hardball with the deal. There were some clauses about creative control that I didn’t like.
Finally, we got the deal hammered out.
“Come in Friday morning,” Matt said. “I’m out of town until then.”
Now I’d had the contract rewritten to my liking, I was anxious to get it all finalised. To come this far and have my dreams snatched away from me would be the cruellest fate of all.
I called into Trouble, still not wanting to discuss things until they were concrete but the other guys hadn’t been so careful.
“Hey, Alex, I heard the news,” said Carlie. “Congratulations. Does that mean you’ll be on the road touring and I’ll have to take over? I think I’d need a raise for that.”
I gave her a salute but didn’t answer.
“Summer Rock,” said Holden. “We’re doing that too. Carlie might be coming with me.” He grimaced.
“Then who’s going to look after the bar?” God, I hadn’t thought of that. If I didn’t have Carlie to run the place, there was no one else.
“Ha, I’m the obvious choice,” said Drew. “I know this place back to front.”
Carlie laughed. It was a pretty ridiculous idea.
“I’ve not even started to think about that yet. The contract’s not signed and it’s all up in the air.”
Still, a sense of satisfaction filled me. This would all work out and the future would be mine. The dull ache Dee had left in me would soon be filled. She was just a girl.
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