by Cathie Linz
It was only then that Jason realized that by focusing on the chaos of growing up in a crowded household, he’d forgotten the fun, the laughter, and the love. It hadn’t been scheduled, hadn’t been programmed. And that realization, along with the memory of Heather’s stricken expression at the radio station after their fight earlier, left Jason wondering if he’d made the right choices in opting for control in his life rather than love.
In the past, Jason had avoided emotional entanglements, preferring mutual interests and physical attraction in his relationships with the opposite sex. Even the expression falling in love indicated a loss of control. Falling meant you lost your balance, your ability to stand on your own two feet. It meant giving up, something he hadn’t wanted any part of.
Now Jason couldn’t help thinking that in choosing control and revenge instead of love, maybe he’d lost far more than he could ever have anticipated.
11
THE SKYLIGHT IN her foyer acted as a night-light as Heather tiptoed past a snoozing Maxie to get to the kitchen and the fridge. She’d been too upset to eat much dinner.
Maxie opened one eye at the sound of the refrigerator door opening. He knew good things for cats were stored in there—raw meat, cooked chicken, leftovers.
Sitting at the eating nook dividing her kitchen and dining room, Heather shared her chilled can of pitted black olives with Maxie while discussing Jason.
“I wish I didn’t love him so damn much,” she said, choking back tears.
Maxie rubbed against her calves as if to comfort her.
“But I’ll get over him, right, Maxie? The sooner, the better.”
She crouched down to stroke Maxie, and he licked her nose to show how much he cared. The sandpaper roughness of his tongue was a familiar comfort.
“This is just a temporary insanity, right? Some sort of hormonal spell cast on me that made me think Jason was a knight in shining black armor. He isn’t. He’s just a guy like any other, only worse.”
Maxie’s response was to start cleaning his whiskers, the rhythmic swipe of his paw accompanied by the lap of his tongue.
“Okay, so he was better than any other guy where sex was concerned. That doesn’t give him the right to make me think he cared about me. That’s what hurts…”
Her voice trailed off as she once again blinked back the tears. From her perch atop the white stool in the kitchen, she could see across the living room to the shadows of her azaleas against the moonlit blinds leading to the terrace. She still hadn’t cleaned up the mess that Jason had made out there when he’d broken one of her terra-cotta pots after serenading her. She hadn’t cleaned up the mess he’d made of her broken heart, either. That one was definitely going to be harder to deal with.
When the phone rang, she and Maxie both jumped a foot. Heather hated it when a call came in the middle of the night. It always made her think something was wrong. “Hello?”
“Are you asleep?” Nita asked.
“No. What are you doing up this late?”
“Watching cable TV. How about you?”
Heather started to cry.
“That bad, huh?” Nita’s voice was sympathetic.
“I screwed up big-time.”
“I didn’t really mean that crack about us not having jobs by tomorrow,” Nita reassured her.
“I’m not talking about my job,” Heather wailed. “That’s what got me into trouble in the first place. Accepting that damn bet to prove I’m good at my job. I don’t know what made me do it, it’s like some strange force took over and I was an observer in my own life. I’m not making excuses, I’m an adult and I take responsibility for my own actions, stupid as they may be. I’m smart enough to know that romance and bets don’t mix. I should have told Jason the truth from the very beginning, maybe then we would have had a chance and none of this mess would have happened. If only I’d just been honest.”
“So what are you going to do now? Give up?” “I’m not sure,” Heather said unsteadily. “Despite all my training, I still don’t know what to do next. Maybe what I need is a sign from above or something. Or maybe I just need to decide what I want,” she added in the next breath. “And if I want Jason, then I need to be prepared to fight for him.”
WHEN HEATHER SHOWED UP for work the next day, she was a calmer, saner woman than the one who had left the day before. She was also a determined woman. She knew what she was going to do. What had to be done. She’d reached a decision during the night. At precisely 3:33 a.m., to be exact.
That’s when something Jason had said during their fight finally clicked: “It wasn’t me you were interested in.” If he’d thought she was faking her interest in him, faking her feelings for him, then maybe she could straighten things out between them.
His intentions had to have been more than just to have sex with her. Why else had he come to see her at work with a handful of balloons? His plans must have gone as wildly astray as hers had, and he must feel something for her, something that had grown despite the bet, despite his desire to turn the tables on her.
She certainly hadn’t planned on falling in love with Jason. And she had fallen not for Chicago’s Sexiest Bachelor, but for him. With the way his mind worked, with the sweet music he loved to play, with the way he could look at her and make her feel beautiful.
The big unknown here was Jason’s feelings for her. How often had she chided callers for not telling their partners how they felt, for expecting them to somehow instinctively know they were loved?
The bottom line was nothing ventured, nothing gained. And today she aimed on venturing plenty, the entire enchilada.
She’d dressed appropriately for this all-or-nothing battle, choosing one of her power outfits, a burgundy pantsuit with a black, sleeveless blouse that had a weskit bottom, giving her a slightly military appearance.
Which was appropriate. Because she’d made her battle plan. Now all that was left was to execute it. She planned on making her assertive move today on her show, providing she still had a show.
The first person she ran into was Bud. Surprisingly, he eyed her not with his usual disdain but with a new grudging sense of respect.
“I want to apologize for yesterday. I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he replied, to her utter amazement “I guess I went too far. To make amends I called in a few markers and got some major Chicago sports figures to agree to do some of those public service spots you’re organizing for that batteredwomen’s shelter.”
“For Safe House? Oh, Bud, that’s great!”
He gave her a grumpy look and took a step back, as if afraid she might hug him or something. “Yeah, well, this doesn’t mean I like you or your show. I still think it’s wimpy girl stuff. And I don’t want you thinking I’ve gotten sentimental in my old age because I haven’t. Just remember that.” With those words, he took off down the hall, his smoking cigar held behind him.
Nita was waiting for Heather at her desk.
“You’re not going to believe this,” Heather said. “Bud actually arranged to help us out with the Safe House campaign.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not going to believe this. I talked to management and told them you weren’t yourself yesterday. But here’s the kicker. They weren’t upset. They were happy with us. Ecstatic, in fact. The numbers went through the roof on yesterday’s show. The ratings jumped so much that it broke records. Advertisers are ringing the phone off the hook wanting to book ad time. Tom has pretty much given us carte blanche to do what we want.”
“Good. Because I’ve got something different in mind for today’s show…”
HEATHER LEANED CLOSE to the mike, cleared her throat, then began.
“Welcome to Love on the Rocks. We have a very special show today. I’ve asked my producer to hold the calls during this segment because I need to talk about something first. I want to talk about love.” Moving the slide, she inserted an applause sound track.
“I’ve been doing this show for nearly three years now and I’m still learning. But th
ere are some things about love that can’t be learned. Because love involves a certain amount of magic and there’s just no logical way to explain it. In our high-tech world we tend to focus on step-by-step fix-it directions, as if relationships were computer programs—you follow the instructions and it will work the way it’s supposed to. But the human heart doesn’t function that way. It’s full of mysterious factors.” This time she selected a brief excerpt from the Twilight Zone.
“Who’s to say why you fall in love with one person and not another? Sure, scientists have tried to attribute it to everything from pheromones to hormones. But I think it’s fate. Meant to be. The precognition of a soul mate, a very special link between two people. Now we might not all be lucky enough to find that one person, and maybe we find someone or something else that makes us happy. There might be several people who could make us happy in a romantic relationship. But my heart tells me that there’s only one true soul mate.
“That’s not to say that it’s a perfect fit, that this other person can take you by the hand and lead you to happiness. Relationships will always require hard work and plenty of communication. Which, I guess, means that there will always be plenty for me to talk about on the air.” Heather activated the applause sound clip again before deciding to abandon special effects in favor of simply speaking from her heart.
“Those of you who listened to the show yesterday might have guessed that I was a little upset. Okay, more than a little. I’d been deeply hurt by someone I cared about very much and so I fought back. But last night I got to thinking about things. There’s a quote by Shakespeare that I’ve always liked. ‘Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie.’ Now I don’t know if I can remedy what went wrong, but I’ll never know if I don’t try.”
She swallowed nervously before launching ahead. “The thing is, I’m in love with an incredible man, a romantic man, a stubborn man. He’s my Dark Knight and I want him to know that I love him. And that I’m sorry I messed things up.”
She paused to take a deep breath before continuing. “Now, I never told him I loved him. Not until this moment. And it’s unlikely he’s listening. Then why am I doing this, you ask yourself? Maybe I wanted to practice saying it in front of hundreds of thousands of my listeners first. Maybe that’s less terrifying than saying it to him face-to-face. And I didn’t tell him I was sorry. I yelled at him instead. You’d think I’d know better, right? Anyway, I know we don’t normally play music on my show, but this is a special occasion and there’s one song that expresses what I’m trying to say.”
She shoved the slide up, and Elton John’s “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” began. The powerful lyrics brought a lump to her throat.
After the song, Heather noticed one phone line. flashing. She’d specifically requested that all calls be held during this portion of the show, but they’d put this one through anyway. On the screen Nita had typed: Mystery guest on line one. You must pick up on pain of death.
“I’ve been told that there’s a call I have to take, so you can see how long my request to hold calls lasted. This is Love on the Rocks and you’re on the air, mystery guest. What can I do for you?”
“This is Jason’s father. And I think there’s something I can do for you.”
JASON HAD MISSED the sound of Heather’s voice so badly that he’d gone out walking on his lunch hour to get away from the aching emptiness. He’d taken out his portable radio-cassette player and listened to the audiotape of John Grisham’s latest blockbuster. But the words aggravated him because they weren’t being spoken by Heather.
He didn’t just miss her voice, he missed her laughter, her sass. He missed the smell of her perfume, the curve of her warm body nestled against his, her lush mouth welcoming him with eager abandonment.
Muttering under his breath, he shoved the Stop button on the tape he wasn’t listening to anyway, and somehow managed to turn on the radio in the process. And there was her voice, filling his ears and his mind with her magic. It took a moment or two for the words she was saying to actually sink in.
“I’m in love with an incredible man, a romantic man, a stubborn man. He’s my Dark Knight and I want him to know that I love him. And that I’m sorry I messed things up.”
Jason stood stock-still, causing a pedestrian traffic jam on the crowded street. He was so stunned that he couldn’t even comprehend what she said next.
It wasn’t until the sound of Elton John’s song about being sorry came on the air that Jason belatedly realized what he had to do.
JASON’S DAD? Heather almost freaked as he cheerfully continued, “My wife and I have been listening to your show today. First I wanted to tell you that I’m one of those guys who has M.A.S. You know, that male answering syndrome you talked about yesterday? You were really on a toot. But it was like a kick in the pants. Made me realize what I was doing to my marriage. Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with the details, but my wife and I are better than ever now.”
Heather didn’t know what to say. She’d never dreamed that Jason’s parents might be listening. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“And I wanted to tell you that you’ve got guts, going on the air and telling my son you love him. We didn’t even know he was your Dark Knight until Anastasia told us. Anyway, I’m looking forward to meeting you someday soon. Now don’t you give up on him, you hear?”
“I hear. Thanks for calling.”
Heather barely had time to recover from that call when her screen lit up again, with more instructions from Nita. Pick up line two.
“I guess we have another mystery guest. Hello, caller, you’re on Love on the Rocks. What can I do for you?” She frowned at the fuzzy response she got. “I can hardly hear you, caller. Can you speak up a little? And make sure to turn off your radio or you’ll hear a delayed echo.” Maybe that was why she could hardly hear him.
“I said I’ve never done this before—called in on a radio program. But your story touched me and I thought that just maybe the guy you were talking about might perhaps have been…a bit of a jerk. Are you there?”
Heather couldn’t believe it. It was Jason’s voice! She wanted to laugh and cry. Putting her trembling fingers to her mouth, she tried to stifle her breathless gasp, but it went over the airwaves anyway. Finally, she was able to speak. “Yes, I’m still here, Dark Knight I’m so glad you called. There are things I need to say, want to say. And I want to get this right, because it’s the most important thing I’ve ever done. I’m sorry about what happened. You’ll never know how sorry. Well, maybe you will know if you stick around for the next fifty years or so.”
“Can I get a word in edgewise here?”
“Of course. I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I do that when I get nervous. You know that But I’m talking again. It’s your turn. Talk. Talk to me.”
“You and your millions of listeners.”
“Okay, listeners, turn your radio volume down, this is going to get personal.”
Of course, the volumes went up on radios all over Chicago, and another thousand people tuned in when ordered to by friends and relatives who told them, “You won’t believe what’s going on!”
“There, go ahead, Dark Knight. Talk to me.”
“Case law I can take. Prosecuting criminals, presenting my case in front of a jury, these things I can handle. But you—you rattle me.”
Her heart sank. “And you don’t like being rattled.”
“I didn’t at first. But then a funny thing happened. You happened. You stole into my heart and you got to me. I can’t believe I’m talking to you over the air.”
“I can’t believe it, either. Where are you calling from?”
A tap on the broadcasting-booth window leading to the hallway had Heather looking over her shoulder in surprise. Jason was standing there, right there, only a few feet away, his dark hair falling over his forehead as if he’d rushed to get to her side as quickly as possible.
“I’m right here. And there’s something I have to tell you.” As he spoke on
the phone, Jason’s dark eyes looked directly into hers, melting the glass between them. “I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know. But if you stick around for the next fifty years or so, maybe you’ll find out.”
“I can’t wait” Heather’s voice was husky with anticipation as she immediately activated the buzzer that unlocked the door from the hallway into the booth.
A second later, Jason was inside the broadcast booth and she was in his arms. Jason kissed her with a passion that rendered her speechless, in what was later referred to as “the kiss heard around the world.”
For Heather, it was a kiss that was a merging of souls as well as lips, righting the wrong of their separation. His mouth enclosed hers in a slow, erotic seduction of her senses, adoring her with a tenderness that stole her breath and touched her heart.
Seeing that Heather wasn’t going to be doing any talking for a few minutes, Nita, ever the producer, realized that the Elton John compact disc was still ready to go. To the sound of applause from around the station, she played Elton John’s classic love song “The One.”
“I TOLD YOU they’d come to their senses.” Hattie sniffed away the tears of relief, daintily dabbing at the corners of her eyes with a hanky that matched her peach dress. Actual peaches rested atop her big straw hat as she hovered above the console table.
“Sure, go ahead and rub it in, Miss Smarty-pants.” Despite her tart words, Betty’s eyes weren’t exactly dry, either. On her T-shirt were the words If Fairy Godmomma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.