33
Father Francis Xavier was tired. He’d been hearing confessions for the past three hours, absolving his flock of their daily sins. A mundane bunch today: The most heinous thing he’d heard was from a young woman having lustful thoughts for her boyfriend. At least she’d come to confession. In this day and age, the modernization of the Church sometimes seemed to undermine the very morality its young members were taught to practice. He doubted he’d made much of an impression. He’d probably hear from the same girl next week, asking forgiveness for going through with the act. Oh well. He was doing the best he could.
He emerged from the confessional, stretching his tired back and deciding what to do for dinner. He removed his stole as he walked toward his office. He was expecting a student from Aquinas, Mary Margaret de Rossi, for a quick tea and chat in an hour. Maybe he’d convince her to head up to Starbucks and have some coffee instead. It would be quiet enough to talk and maybe cover some of her Latin language work. He had been tutoring her for several weeks. Her enthusiasm to learn the dead language heartened his soul, and he was thrilled that his young friend wanted to understand more of the ways of the Church. After coffee, he could pick something up on his way home, or run through the buffet line at Belle Meade Cafeteria, get a real meal. One advantage to living in the South, he thought wryly. Meat and threes.
As he turned the corner into the hallway to the administrative offices, he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. A man had entered the church and was making a beeline for the confessionals.
“Sir, I’m done for the day. I’ll be hearing confessions again tomorrow morning at ten. I’d be happy to hear your confession then.”
But the man ignored him and ducked into the rosewood box, quickly shutting the door behind him. Father Xavier sighed. Perhaps the man hadn’t heard him. He made his way back to the confessionals, slipped into his side, and repeated his statement. There was no sound from the other side of the box.
“My son?” he asked.
“You will hear my confession now, Father. I have no time left.”
The voice was low, so soft that Father Xavier could barely hear him. There was something in the tone that scared him. He felt a chill snake down his spine. He sat down, draping his stole over his shoulders.
“I am here, my son.”
The stranger bowed his head and made the sign of the cross. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two years since my last confession.”
The young priest’s words were automatic. “The Lord be in thy heart and on thy lips, that thou mayest rightly confess thy sins. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”
The man paused a moment, then started to speak, the words spilling out faster and faster. “I confess to Almighty God, to blessed Mary ever Virgin, to all the Saints, and to you, my spiritual Father, that I have sinned. I am the angel of the power of God, the angel of judgment, the angel of truth. I and I alone am responsible for creating the One who will save all of us. It is too late for me, but my legacy will be fulfilled. This will be hard for you to hear, Father. But it is time, and I must be absolved for my sins and the sins of my unborn son.”
Father Xavier sat upright in his seat. Oh Lord, this one was crazy. What a capper on the day. “Go on.”
“Father, I am a scholar—a student of life—a practiced apprentice of love and death, the twin sides of a coin where one cannot exist without the other. I seek to help my disciples into a perfect state of being. Ideal beauty and absolute goodness. I am truth. I am their deliverance. I am the sun, essential to the creation and sustaining life of their world. I am the archangel, forced into their corporeal bodies, fighting to pilot their souls to the radiance of me, where they and I, together as one, can achieve the ultimate bliss.”
“My son, I do not understand you. Perhaps you need to speak with...”
“No!” The voice roared from behind the screen. “I will speak to you, to our God. He knows what I say is true, and has told me I am the truth behind the light. That’s why I killed them. To save the One who is the light.”
“Killed them? Who have you killed?” Father Xavier felt a small bead of sweat roll down his temple and brushed it away in annoyance.
The voice was suddenly rational, coy. “We are under the seal of confession here, Father. I trust I needn’t remind you that you cannot go to the police and tell them what I have said here.”
Father Xavier leaned back against the wall of the confessional. He’d heard stories of murderers coming to confession, placing their confessors in such awkward positions that there was no clear way out but copious amounts of prayer. His designs on a quiet evening bled away.
“Go on, my son.”
“Thank you, Father. You see, I’ve studied them as they march through their mean exile, looking for the One, the One who will understand and accept my thesis without complaint. I test each one I find worthy, forcing enlightenment into their beautiful heads. I comment on their words, trying, always trying, to help them focus on the light. My disciples flow into my life, anxiously awaiting another of my lessons—to drink in the exquisiteness of my words, to seek sustenance among my phrases, anything that will allow them to flow along their menial course throughout the rest of the day.
“At last, I found the perfect vessel for my substance, one who has allowed me to unfold my wings, force my soul into hers. She carries the One, Father. Our salvation lies in the womb of a woman near here. I fear I may have become lost in her—despite my intentions. I too am not immune to the corporeal sins of the flesh. It has been a true awakening of the small spirit within me. The others were necessary. I had to hedge my bets, as it were. If several were impregnated, it only increased my chances to father the One.”
Father Xavier felt dizzy. What in the name of God was this man talking about? He was obviously suffering from some sort of delusional messiah complex. The rational tone was gone again, he was rambling on and on, and Father Xavier did his best to decipher the meaning of the man’s prophetic speech. He definitely seemed to have a God complex, but what did he mean about impregnating women to create the Messiah? Did he actually think he had that kind of power?
“... they were given the most spiritual of deaths. They were the catalysts, the ones who came before, the ones who fulfilled the prophecies. And with each death, another cycle was completed, another step toward the coming of the One was fulfilled.”
Though he knew the answer, the priest asked, “What cycle are you speaking of?”
“Don’t be dense, Father. The End of Days. The coming of our Lord is preceded by a series of events that portend His coming. The winds blow from the four corners of the earth, the seas die, and the rivers turn to blood. The Apocalypse, Father. I have set in motion the creation of our Apocalypse, the actions necessary to clear the way for our son to enter the world absolved. As soon as the prophecies are fulfilled, the One shall make himself known to the world.”
34
The reality of the situation sank in for Father Xavier. This was the killer the press had been reporting on. “You’re the one killing the Vanderbilt girls,” the priest spat out in horror.
“Oh, Father, I am not killing them. I am releasing them from their earthly bonds, allowing them to walk in the light of our Lord while the rest of the world awaits His coming.”
“You’re crazy. I suggest you leave now.” He wanted to get the man out of the confessional and out of his church.
“They were disposed of lovingly, Father.” The man continued as if he hadn’t heard a word the priest said. “Admittedly, I did lose my temper a few times. But they were given a clean and spiritual release. And it is time for me to have my absolution, for the sins I have perpetrated on these women and the ones to come.
“For these and all the sins of my past life, I ask pardon of God, penance and absolution from you, Fa
ther.”
Father Xavier sat frozen, his mind racing. He didn’t hear the man ask for his absolution. All he could focus on was his statement. The ones to come. He had to find a way into this man’s soul, try to stop him somehow. He’d heard the news, knew there were two young innocents dead. The ones to come. If this man could be believed, there would be more innocents dying, and maybe, just maybe, he would have a chance to stop this monster. Evil incarnate had landed right here on his doorstep.
“My son, I believe in order to have complete absolution, you must tell me everything. God can absolve you only if you speak aloud your sins.”
There was silence from the other side of the screen, and Father Xavier was frightened he’d lost the man, said the wrong thing. But the man cleared his throat and began speaking, lucid and clear again.
“If you want all the gory details, Father, then I’ll be happy to indulge you. I have created our Messiah. In order to do that, I needed a woman to plant my seed in, to carry our Savior. A modern-day Mary, a mother of the One.
“But there have been complications along the way. I chose three worthy women, but I was wrong about two of them. One went crazy when I explained her role in the future of mankind, and threatened to tell. The other was impregnated by another source. Both of these women failed me, and had to be destroyed, sacrifices to our apocalypse. They were responsible for their deaths, but I purified and cleansed their souls with an ancient and precious ritual, allowing them safe passage to the afterlife. They are in heaven now.
“There is one left, and she carries my son. Our son. She understands and loves unconditionally, both myself and our God and our Messiah. She is safe from me, but others must suffer to complete the path. It will be finished soon, Father.
“There was another chosen for her role in this world. A woman no one would miss, and she proved herself worthy and became one with our Lord.”
My God, Father Xavier thought. He’s actually killed three women so far. He decided to try a different tack. “I think you have proven yourself, my son. I believe you have taken enough lives. This has to stop now. I can absolve you of these sins, but I cannot protect your soul if you plan to sin so egregiously again and again. There will be no true absolution for you.”
A shifting behind the screen, and Xavier sensed the man was smiling. “Ah, but there will be. I am at one with our Lord. Through His love and guidance I have been acting, and I must follow the path of righteousness in order to fulfill my quest. The signs have not been satisfied, not yet. Soon, it will be done. So very soon.”
“But why now? Why the suddenness of your actions? Do you not need time to reflect upon your sins, to understand why what you are doing is wrong in the eyes of our Lord? He does not want—”
“Yes, He does! He has told me I am the Chosen One, the only one who can carry out His plan. And there is no more time, Father. My time is running out, and I must finish before I die. Not only has He granted me the wisdom to create, but also He is taking my life in return. In less time than you can imagine, the One will be amongst us.
“Let me try this again. For these and all the sins of my past life, I ask pardon of God, penance and absolution from you, Father.”
Father Xavier couldn’t think—he couldn’t breathe. This nightmare must be stopped, and he did not have the power to do so. He needed to find a way to leave this man, to pray and reflect, even to break the seal of confession if it would save more lives. He decided to go on with the observance of the confession.
“For your penance, my son, I cannot imagine there are enough Hail Marys that can be said. You must find a way to make reparations, to cleanse yourself of these thoughts and continue down a different path that will end this quest without more killing. Turn yourself in to the police, and all will not be lost. Please, I beg of you, do these things and...”
The man started on his Act of Contrition, as if he’d heard nothing the priest had said. “O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments. But most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.”
Father Xavier couldn’t help it, the words came before he could stop himself. “Ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”
The man replied, “Amen.”
“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.”
“His mercy endures forever.”
“In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, my son.”
He heard the man stand and open the door. He jumped to his feet; though the confession was traditionally an anonymous process, he felt he must see the man. He needed to see what the face of evil looked like.
By the time he opened the confessional door, he caught only a glimpse of the man’s back, retreating so quickly from the room that he was a blur.
Father Xavier sat down hard on the seat of the confessional. He heard a rumble of thunder, as if the heavens were displeased.
“Oh dear God, what have I done?”
He got up and rushed to his office. He needed to pray and consult with the bishop. Perhaps he could find a way to break the seal of confession; surely it would be allowed if it meant saving lives. He put on a pot of tea and sat in his most comfortable chair, thinking hard. He had no way to identify the man who had just left. He’d never seen his face, only heard his sinister, low voice.
He could hear the storm raging and looked out the window. The wind had picked up, thunder was roaring closer, and lightning began flashing every few seconds. He took it as a sign. He needed to talk with the bishop immediately.
He reached toward the desk to pick up the phone. The lights went out in the church. He managed to fumble and grasp the phone receiver, but there was no dial tone. The storm had knocked out the electricity and the phones. He was left to sit in the darkness and pray for guidance. He started to do so with fervor.
35
The rain came down hard enough to leach in through the windowsill. Droplets formed a tiny river, slipping down the wall to puddle on the shiny hardwood floor. Jill lay on her right side, watching the progression. She figured it had been pouring for hours now. Wave after wave of thunder and lightning had been rocking the small room. At one point, she thought she heard tornado sirens blast.
She wasn’t sure how long she had been locked in the room. She remembered very little of what had happened over the past few days. At least she thought it had been a few days. She’d studied sensory deprivation in a psychology class and figured her perceptions could be completely off the mark. The continuous rain wasn’t helping. She knew for a fact she’d eaten three meals: two cheese omelets and one hurried bowl of macaroni and cheese. The urge to sleep had overtaken her before the meals were finished. When she woke each time, the food had been cleared away, only a glass of water left behind. She was glad of the emptiness; she was feeling sick to her stomach.
Standing shakily, she tried to get her bearings. She went to the window, but the shades were permanently drawn within the windows. Double glass, no cord. She wandered to the door, but it too was locked, just as it had been the past fifteen times she’d tried. The only other furnishings in the room were the double bed she had been rumpling, a bedside table, and a small lamp giving off the dimmest glow.
There were no noises except the vicious storm. She jumped as another flash of lightning hit, close enough to make her hair stand on end. The meager light from the lamp was extinguished. The electricity had gone off. Backlit by the violent flashes, she made her way back to the bed.
She was so tired, too tired even to cry. She lay facing the window, wondering what in the world was happening to her. She wasn’t panicked; she was simply cu
rious. She should be scared, she should be freaking out, but everything was softly glowing—drugs, she told herself, you’re being drugged.
At least she knew there would be people trying to find her. The father of her child, for one. Gabriel wouldn’t let anything happen to her. He had been so good to her, so sweet. An angel. Their affair had been going on for only a few weeks when she’d gotten pregnant. He was thrilled. She’d expected screams and threats, begging to end the pregnancy coupled with “I’ll always stand by you.” But he was as excited as a new puppy. She wasn’t two months along before he started coming up with names. Boys’ names. He was absolutely positive that Jill was giving him a son.
The time had flown so quickly. Though she wasn’t completely sure it was the right thing to do, she’d agreed to keep the baby. She’d shared the news only with the doctor at the health clinic at Vanderbilt. She hadn’t gotten up the guts to tell her parents, nor had she told her friends. She hoped they just thought she was putting on weight. Though she was getting so big now, she supposed it wouldn’t stay secret for much longer. Baggy clothes only hid so much.
The lightning was so close, the thunder simultaneous, filling the room with light and shaking the walls at the same time. She hid beneath the covers, praying for the storm to end.
* * *
Jill awoke later with a start, crying out, choking. She looked around wildly. The same room, the same bed. She tried to gather her breath. She had dreamed of trees bending unmercifully in the wind, lightning crashing, and drowning in a river of blood.
“It was only a dream, Jill, it was only a dream.”
The arms reached her out of nowhere, and she realized Gabriel was holding her, whispering in her ear, soothing her with nonsensical murmurs. Was she dreaming? She didn’t have the energy to fight, didn’t protest when he laid her back onto the bed gently. She didn’t have the ability to shout when he rose and went to the door. Her screams merely echoed in her head as she heard the door lock behind him.
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