Perfectly Toxic

by Kristine Mason

  Tears shimmered in her eyes. “How could you think that? All I’ve wanted was to be with you.”

  “Now you can, on your terms. I was dead serious about the garage,” he said, some of the worry lessening. “I don’t have many examples of what makes a good marriage, but I’d like ours to be filled with compromise. You’ve given up too much for me, and I haven’t been there enough for you. Let me make up for that. I need to prove you didn’t make a mistake by marrying me.”

  Shock and irritation widened her eyes. She curled her arms around his neck, then tugged at his short hair. “I never once considered a single moment with you a mistake.”

  “Then tell me what to do.” He ran his hand up her back, pressed her against his chest. “Tell me what you need.”

  She brushed her lips along his. “You.”

  “Damn it, Mel, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about your job, how you’re coping with the guilt you’re heaping on yourself. I want to be there for you. I want to make it go away, but I don’t know how.”

  Tears fell as she blinked a few times. “Tell me I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to be with you instead of going after Liam. Please tell me I’m not a bad person for walking out on my team.” Desperation, love, and worry clouded her eyes. “I’m scared of dying, of never having those lazy Sunday afternoons swinging on the hammock with you. Since the accident, have you ever had those kinds of thoughts?”

  “The only thing I’ve ever been scared of is losing you. That’s why I’m here.” He ran his hand through her silky hair. His woman was hurting, worse that he’d imagined. What had happened to her in that house would take time to overcome, and he wanted to be there for her—here or in Tallahassee. “Whatever you decide, in my eyes, you’ll never be a bad person. You have no idea how much I admire you. For what you’ve done for me, for how you helped save Harrison’s life and tried to save two other strangers—no matter that one of them wasn’t what you’d thought. There’s nothing wrong with being scared of dying, and you better damn well believe I think about you every single day of the week.” He cupped the back of her head. “I will stand by whatever decision you make. I started out with nothing before. I can start again. As long as I have my woman and my dog…the garage, the house in Tallahassee doesn’t matter.”

  “But they do. I’ve missed working at the garage, and I miss our house. Those things are ours. I think one of the reasons I was drawn to ATL was because I missed being part of something. You and I were a team. We ran that garage, we bought our house together and made it a home.” She rose to her tiptoes and kissed him. “During the drive here, I kept wanting to turn around and go back home to you.”

  “We would’ve missed each other,” he said, running a hand along her back. “Because I was making the four hundred and eighty mile drive to you. I’m just sorry it took me so long to show you that I can’t be without you.”

  “Four hundred and eighty-two.” She kissed him again.

  “I know the drive here better than you think,” he admitted. “Over the years, I found a few ways to shorten the trip. Not by much, but every mile counts.”

  She tugged his hair again, and not gently. “Are you telling me you’ve driven to Everglades City before, and you never once thought to stop and see me?”

  “I thought about it, almost came in for an ice cream a few times, but then what? Nothing would have changed. I was still working a job you hated, and you wouldn’t have come home with me. I just missed you so damned much. There were days I couldn’t sit in the house, and I needed to see your face. Even from a distance.” He let out a breath. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have told you that. It kind of makes me look like a cowardly stalker.”

  “Not to me,” she said, grazing her lips along his. “I’m glad you told me. It’s good to know you were hurting as much as I was.”

  He chuckled against her lips. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” she murmured, then kissed him.

  He tasted her, breathed in her sweet scent, traced his hands along her skin and knew he would do more than just move for her. He’d give up his job, money, his freedom, and even his life. Last night, he’d been prepared to kill for her. He pressed her closer, deepened the kiss. Tried to block the memories, the fear of losing Mel in the fire, the ER doctors hovering over her afterward, watching the taillights of her Camaro disappear as she’d left him.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked between kisses, and unfastened his jeans.

  “Nothing now.”

  “Then why are you squeezing me like a boa?”

  He relaxed his hold. “Sorry, baby,” he said, and needing to be inside her, to hold her, love her, he unbuttoned her shorts. He slid his hands inside them and over her rear, then pushed them to the floor.

  She shoved his jeans down over his hips, then kissed his chest. “I was scared, too.” She kissed him again, and looked up at him. Her pretty blue eyes held understanding and love. “When I saw you coming out of the window, the fire behind you, then on your clothes, I swear my heart stopped. Then it happened again when you said you wanted a divorce.”

  His woman knew him too well. He unhooked her bra, kissed her shoulder as he slid the strap down her arm, then tossed it aside. “I’m still scared I’m going to screw up and make you unhappy.” She’d wanted to strip away everything standing between them. Not just clothes, but everything that had been keeping them apart. If they had any chance of making their marriage work, he wanted to be completely honest, even if it chipped at his pride. “I thought I was doing okay before I met you, but I didn’t start loving life until you turned my world on end.” He ran his fingers through her hair, then cupped her head. “Any day without you is a bad one.”

  Her eyes shined with unshed tears. “Then I guess we better make sure we’re never apart again,” she said, leaning forward.

  When their lips touched, he kissed her as if it were the first time. Gently, leisurely, taking pleasure in the soft contours of her mouth, the way her body curved against his. There was no need to rush, no sense of urgency like there’d been every time she’d come home for a short weekend. Because their home was with each other, it didn’t matter to him where they lived, as long as his wife was happy.

  She sighed against his mouth, then smiled. “That was a nice surprise. You haven’t kissed me like that in years.”

  “I’m savoring the moment.”

  She grinned and reached between their bodies. “Savoring?” she asked, and began stroking him. “Does this mean you’ll want to go slow tonight?”

  As he kissed his way along her neck, he moved his hand between her thighs and ran his fingers along her heat. “I want to make love to my wife, is that a problem?”

  “Not at all.” She let out a quiet moan when he pressed his fingers deep. “But does this mean you won’t be taking her against the wall.”

  He smiled against her throat, then gently tugged her hair and met her teasing gaze. “Against the wall.” He pumped his fingers harder, faster. “Bent over the couch…” As he rubbed his thumb along her clit, her eyes darkened with desire. He pressed his mouth against her ear. “I plan on spending the night making you come.”

  On a groan, she kissed him. Not with the urgency he’d expected, but with the love he depended on and needed. Love he’d never take for granted again.

  Cap’n Ryan’s Airboat Tours, Everglades City, Florida

  Wednesday, 8:45 a.m. Eastern Daylight Saving Time

  Mel entered the souvenir shop, then made her way toward the back office. Cash had asked if she’d wanted him to come with her, but this was something she needed to do on her own, and without an audience. Which had been why she’d texted Lola late last night, asking her to meet before anyone else arrived.

  Although confident in her decision, she wasn’t ready to face the rest of the ATL team yet. She’d never been much of a crier, but lately she’d been bawling like a baby. If she took even a quick glance at any one member of their crew, she’d lose it. Barney, Shane a
nd Ryan, they’d always been like family, and she knew their relationships wouldn’t change. But she’d miss seeing them on a daily basis. As for Lola, Vlad and Harrison, until this past week, she hadn’t realized how much she’d valued their friendship. She’d miss seeing them, too. Going to Polina’s Paradise for cookouts, brainstorming sessions for an investigation, or just to have a few beers with her friends. She didn’t even want to think about Daddy, but knew he’d be okay. He had plenty of people to check up on him, and she and Cash planned to come visit Everglades City at least once a month.

  Her nervous stomach settled when she pictured Cash where she’d left him, lying in her bed, looking sexier than any man had a right to, and waiting for her. She thought back to those lazy Sundays on the hammock, to swimming or snuggling with Cash and Dolly, to long days working at the garage, to the rewarding night in Cash’s arms. She imagined the future, how they could expand the garage and their family. How the poor kid from the ghetto and the girl from the swamp would continue to build a successful life together. How the repo man and the ice cream lady would become a thing of the past, leaving the happy couple, Cash and Melanie Maddox in their wake.

  Loving what the future had to offer, she walked into Lola and Ryan’s office with bittersweet excitement. “Morning,” she greeted Lola.

  “Morning. How are you feeling?”

  Sore, well loved, happy. “Great. How are you?”

  Lola cocked a brow. “You sent me a text at midnight asking to meet this morning—alone. I’m nervous and happy for you.”

  “You talked to Harrison?”

  “He might’ve called me and mentioned Cash was in town.” She nodded toward the extra office chair. Once Mel took a seat, Lola said, “I never expected you to come back to ATL, especially after the talk we had the other night.”

  “I didn’t either, but I also didn’t expect to set a killer free.” Mel held up a hand. “I know. I had no clue who or what the man was, so I shouldn’t feel guilty. I do, though. I also can’t put my life with Cash on hold. I’m ready to go home, but I’m going to miss you guys and working for ATL.”

  Lola let out a breath and reached for her hand. “We’re going to miss you, too. And I think you’re making the right decision.” She gave Mel a squeeze, then released her hand and leaned back in the chair. “Even though you won’t be part of ATL, I’ll be sure to let you know what happens with the investigation.”

  “Yes, please do. I’m praying you guys, or whoever is going after Liam, brings him in before he hurts anyone. I know I gave the GBI agents a description, but if they want me to sit down with a sketch artist, I’m available.”

  “You don’t think Cash would mind?”

  “Not at all. I’m not going back to work for you. I’m simply around if you need anything.”

  Lola gave her a small smile. “That’s good to know. Did Harrison tell you what GBI found in the Archer’s barn?”

  Her stomach turned. “That, and about the infant,” she said with disgust. “Why?”

  “Never mind.” Lola waved her hand. “You’ll be busy moving and getting settled back into your routine with Cash and the garage.”

  Mel rolled her eyes. “You do know that tactic doesn’t work on me, right?”

  Lola sighed. “It doesn’t seem to work on anyone. I don’t know how Ian gets away with it.” She shrugged. “Okay, to the point it is. Tallahassee is about forty minutes from Rodney and Adeline’s hometown of Bower, Georgia. Ian wants us to continue to pursue this case and find Liam. The GBI and FBI do, too. Our GBI contact isn’t sure how much longer they’ll stay involved in the investigation, and Ian’s FBI connections won’t be able to get involved until Liam crosses state lines and does something wrong.”

  “What? That’s ridiculous. I saw him kill Eliot.”

  “Mel, Eliot’s body was so badly burned, there’s no way to ID the man or how he was killed. We don’t even have a last name for Eliot. As for Liam, the one GBI agent said a local cop suggested that you might’ve hallucinated the murder. You were drugged, you were injured, confused.”

  Her temper spiking, she shoved out of the chair. “I know what I saw.”

  “And I believe you. We all do. But with only you as an eyewitness, I can understand why the authorities don’t want to sink men and money into pursuing Liam.”

  She did not like the direction this investigation, or lack thereof, was going. She knew what she saw, and still had the lump to prove it. “But Harrison saw him, too. And Liam fought you on the way out the door. Plus, Rodney admitted to Adeline’s creation.”

  “Harrison was drugged. The man who fought me could have simply been a victim, scared and running for his life.” She shook her head. “Rodney’s not talking, not now. So, Ian wants us to dig into his and Adeline’s background. I’m going to have Harrison research the hell out of the family. I want to find out as much as we can about the Archers, namely Rodney and Adeline. If Rodney was being honest, which I think he was, Adeline is in Liam’s head.”

  “Liam told me her voice was the only one left,” Mel said, a shiver running through her as she remembered his hot breath along her neck. “I think the main focus should be on Adeline. She could be the key to finding Liam.”

  “I agree, which is why I was hoping you would go to Bower. I was thinking you could go undercover as a reporter or something. I’ll let you decide.”

  She’d promised Cash she’d quit ATL, and she would keep that promise. “The local police have seen my face, but only know me and Harrison under the fake names you gave us. Going in as a reporter wouldn’t work. Doing anything undercover after I told my husband I was quitting is not something I’d consider without talking to him first.”

  “I understand,” Lola said with a smile. “I would never want to put you in that position or be the cause of a problem between you and Cash.”

  “But,” Mel continued, “I don’t see how Cash would object to going to Bower with me, the concerned husband, hoping that his wife finds peace of mind while she learns to deal with the horrors she’d endured at the House of Archer.”

  Lola’s smile grew into a big grin. “The locals might be more apt to talk to a victim rather than a nosey reporter who could make their small community look bad. I love it. Are you sure Cash will go along with it?”

  “I know how to persuade my husband. But I’ll talk to him about it while we’re packing my things, and let you know.”

  “You can tell me later, when we’re at Polina’s Paradise.”

  Mel pulled her keys from her purse. “What’s going on there?”

  “Your engagement, wedding, retirement and going-away party.” Lola rose. “We’ll be expecting the guests of honor at seven. I know Ryan and Barney are looking forward to meeting Cash.”

  Touched and surprised, Mel hugged Lola. “Thank you,” she said. “You’re a good friend.” She stepped back. Her throat tightened when she saw tears shimmering in Lola’s eyes. “Are you sure you don’t need me to scoop ice cream today?”

  “Nope. I’ve got you covered.”

  “Already found my replacement, huh?”

  A tear slipped down Lola’s cheek. “No one could replace the ice cream lady.”

  EPILOGUE

  “When this monster entered my brain, I will never know, but it is here to stay.”

  —Dennis Rader, BTK Killer

  Thomasville, Georgia

  Wednesday, 9:36 a.m. Eastern Daylight Saving Time

  LIAM SWEPT UP behind the dilapidated shed flanking the heavily wooded property. A small, whitewashed farmhouse in bad need of repair stood fifty yards away. He glanced to the gravel driveway that had been overrun by weeds, to the rusted mailbox where Dougal had been painted along the side.

  “Go inside. You need to go inside,” Adeline whispered. “You’re hurt, hungry. You need food, money. You need to kill for me.”

  Rodney’s drug had ‘fixed’ him. He hadn’t been lying to the blonde who’d set him free. The voices were gone. The drug had worked, yet one voice
had remained. Even in death, Adeline taunted him, goaded him. Suggesting violence and murder. Tempting him with lewd thoughts, her filthy words planting images of cruel sex, of how he’d wanted and fantasized about taking Adeline once freed.

  Murderous rage burned through him. He turned away from the shed and started for the woods again. He wanted Rodney dead and hoped the prick had died in the house fire. He’d wanted Adeline dead, too. But he had wanted to be the one to kill her. Slowly. Painfully. Rodney had robbed him of the fantasy. He’d been stripped of the chance, deprived of the utter satisfaction of ending her life on his terms.

  “You know you want to go inside the house,” she said. “Something smells good, and you’re hungry.”

  The aroma of bacon hung on the humid air. The hunger pangs he’d been fighting since yesterday morning had left him hollow inside.

  He would not kill for food. He was better than that. Although he couldn’t remember his past prior to meeting Adeline, he knew in his gut that he hadn’t always thought about murder. Yet that had been all he could think about since fleeing the fire. Killing, mutilating, violence. That couldn’t be him, couldn’t be who he was.

  “But it’s you now,” she said, her words rolling over one another in an eerie echo. “Remember how good it felt slamming the woman’s head against the door. Remember the rush when you snapped the man’s neck. The power. I gave you that power, that freedom. Admit how good it felt. Admit it, Liam.”

  God, how he’d wanted to do more to the blonde. He patted the front pocket of his jeans until his fingers ran along the outline of the small switchblade he’d taken from her. Such a tiny blade, and yet the possibilities of what he could do with it were endless.

  “Admit it, Liam. You want to go into that house. Feel the power and rush again. Feed off the fear.”

  “I want you to shut up,” he said, stopping when a cramp seized his side. He leaned against a tree and looked over his shoulder. Sweat trickled into the swollen, open lacerations along his face where Rodney had hit him with the chain. He ignored the stinging pain. The scent of bacon teased his senses, made his mouth water, made him forget his head hurt. He staggered forward.