by Donna Hill
The city was wrestling itself awake. The towering gray buildings that pierced the muted sky made for dynamic images. The lighting, as always, was key.
She walked along Seventy-Second Street, stopped and snapped a shot of an old white-haired couple walking gingerly hand in hand down the street. The husband leaned closer and said something to his wife that caused her head to roll back and girlish laughter to spark from her throat. In that instant the years peeled away and they were young lovers. Jacqueline captured them as they had once been, but more important that “once had been” moment never changed for them. They would always be those young lovers in each other’s eyes.
Jacqueline’s vision clouded. She blinked away the future that she would never see. She would never walk down this avenue or any other with Raymond five, ten, twenty years from now. They would never have that moment that she’d shot.
Raymond deserved a chance at what she’d just witnessed. His life shouldn’t be spent watching her wither away and being strong for her. He deserved a life and a family.
When she looked across the street the couple was gone as if they had never been there. Or perhaps only there long enough for her to know what she needed to do. She kept walking.
* * *
Raymond refused to get himself worked up. It was close to one in the afternoon and Jacqueline had yet to return.
He’d heard her moving stealthily around the room, opening and closing drawers, tiptoeing in and out of the bathroom, then collecting her camera equipment from the closet.
Jacqueline used her art as a balm. Whenever she needed to work through a problem or vent she rose with the sun and went in search of the perfect shot, finding the answers to whatever was eating at her.
He knew that she was looking for answers this morning. So he’d remained still, feigning sleep, not interfering with her process. After she’d stormed off earlier the prior day, she’d emphatically refused to discuss anything else related to her health. It was done as far as she was concerned. And as she always had done in the face of adversity she went inside herself. It was a trait that he both admired and resented. If only she would truly allow him to carry part of the burden. But she refused.
His call to Rafe had been an act of desperation. Jacqueline would be furious but he was willing to deal with her wrath. He only hoped that his gamble would pay off.
He heard the front door open and then close. He put down his coffee cup on the counter. Jacqueline walked in and his felt more unsettled than he’d ever felt in his life.
She put her camera bag down on the table. “Hi,” she said softly.
“Hi.”
“I didn’t want to wake you.”
He simply looked at her, waiting for her to tell him what it was she’d discovered.
She crossed the space and sat down at the island counter. “Any more coffee?”
“Sure.” He took a mug from the cabinet and poured her a cup.
“Thanks.” She added a teaspoon of sugar and plenty of cream.
He smiled to himself. Jacqueline always wanted coffee in her cream instead of the other way around. “Beautiful day out,” he said to take up the space that seemed to grow in leaps and bounds between them.
“I’d forgotten how tranquil this city could be in the early hours.”
He studied the contemplative expression on her face as the nerves in his belly grew tighter and tighter. “Maybe we can do something later. Take in a movie or a show somewhere. There’s always something going on in New York.”
“Maybe,” she said noncommittally and took a sip of her coffee. “You always did make good coffee,” she said, offering up a half smile.
The banal banter was like a conversation between two strangers. And the long silences in between the attempts at normalcy was deafening.
Raymond took his mug to the sink then turned to Jacqueline and his heart stood still.
Jacqueline was taking off her ring. Gently she placed it on the counter. “I saw a couple today,” she began. Her gaze rose to meet his. “They were about eighty and very much in love.” Her throat worked up and down. “And…I realized in that moment when I snapped their picture, captured that moment of joy that their moment could never be our moment.” Her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly.
Raymond didn’t move.
“You should go back to L.A. You deserve more than what the rest of whatever life I have can offer you.”
His jaw clenched. “Is that really what you want, J, to spend the rest of your life alone? Doesn’t the fact that I love you more than anything in this world mean anything to you?”
It wasn’t what she wanted, but it was the way it had to be. You don’t burden the people that you love. You didn’t do that. She couldn’t do that, not to Ray.
She pushed the ring toward him. “Go home, Ray.” She got up from her seat turned and walked out of the room.
* * *
Jacqueline didn’t know what she’d expected Ray to do, yell, demand, plead or come after her. She crossed the bedroom to the window seat. She pushed aside the curtain and stared unseeingly at life unfolding below. She’d made the right decision, hadn’t she?
There was a part of her that desperately wanted to spend every waking moment with Ray. Tour the world, explore new things and not waste an instant of their time together. But wouldn’t it be worse for him later? Wasn’t it best to end it now?
A black SUV with tinted windows pulled onto her street and slowed. She peered a bit closer. The vehicle had government plates. She knew Bill and Hilary had a place in the city but she was pretty sure it wasn’t on this street. Probably a local politico.
She started to look away when the car pulled to a stop in front of her house. The driver got out and opened the passenger door. Branford stepped out. Tall, handsome as ever and dapper in his steel-gray suit, snow-white shirt and burgundy tie. His close-cropped salt-and-
pepper hair glistened in the afternoon light. Rafe got out behind him, a younger and even more handsome version of his father.
The air stuck in her lungs. She jumped up and backed away from the window. What in world… Her skin began to tingle. Maybe it was some bizarre coincidence that they were here of all places. That had to be it.
The doorbell rang. She gasped.
She hurried to the entrance of her bedroom and heard the front door open and the sound of heavy male voices. Drawing in a deep, steadying breath, she went downstairs.
The trio’s heads turned when she appeared in the archway of the sitting room.
Raymond strode toward her. He clasped her shoulders with steely fingers.
“How could you—”
He cut her right off. “You’re going to listen to what he has to say,” he said in a harsh, no-nonsense whisper.
Her chest heaved up and down.
Raymond glanced over his shoulder at Rafe and subtly tilted his head.
Rafe caught the signal. He approached warily, ready and willing to be chastised by his aunt. He bent down to kiss her cheek. “Nice place you have, Aunt J.” His mouth flickered into a devilish grin.
She was so furious she couldn’t speak. She only glared at him.
“Got any bourbon?” he asked Raymond, clasping him on the shoulder as they walked out, leaving Jacqueline and Branford alone.
Jacqueline stared at her brother. Even now, after all these years, she still felt like the little pain in the ass sister.
“Mind if I sit?”
“When have you ever needed my permission for anything? You’ve always done what you wanted.”
He ignored the barb and took a seat on the couch. “As have you.”
She flinched at the stab of truth. “Why are you here, Branford? I know you didn’t come from wherever you were to make small talk.”
“No, I didn’t.” He paused a
beat. “Please, sit.”
She folded her arms, wanting to be obstinate for obstinance’s sake, but finally gave in. She sat on the love seat that was arranged opposite to him and watched the array of emotions play across his face as whatever was going through his mind was being relived.
“When Louisa got sick…” he finally said, his voice so reverential that she barely recognized it, “I took her to every doctor, every specialist that money could buy. We tried every treatment available until we’d exhausted all possibilities.” He lowered his head and linked his fingers together, and seemed to study the simple gold wedding band that he’d never taken off. He unhurriedly turned it on his finger.
He drew in a long breath and slowly exhaled. “When I met Louisa all those years ago, it was the first time in my life that I had something to live for beyond my own ambition.”
Jacqueline was dumbstruck by her brother’s confession, his display of vulnerability. It was a side of him that she’d never seen.
“The funny thing is, it was Louisa that was the strong one. She was the one that got me through it. She never lost her joy for life, her unflappable curiosity. And even in those last days she never gave up on living every minute to the fullest and filling every moment surrounded by the people who loved her and that she loved.” He focused on his sister. “That is what I treasure most, what still gets me through the days without her.”
She’d always wondered why her brother had never remarried. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have any number of women who would willingly step into the role of Mrs. Branford Lawson. She’d believed that he was too self-absorbed. Now she knew. He would never love anyone the way that he’d loved Louisa and he was good with that.
“And then David…”
There it was, the elephant in the room.
“I suppose you don’t know that I went to see Maurice a few months ago.”
Her body stiffened. Her nephew, David’s only son, had been estranged from the family for as long as she and for the very same reason. They both believed that Branford was in some way responsible for David’s death.
“You…saw Maurice?”
He nodded his head. “And I told him what I should have told him years ago, what I should have told you.”
In agonizing detail, he explained to her those days that had been unspoken until recently. David had gotten in way over his head by manipulating investments of his clients. It was all coming to a head. He was being investigated and he’d come to Branford to bail him out. Branford refused. Rather than spend years in prison, David had taken his own life and left a note that Maurice had found, blaming Branford for turning his back on him.
Branford had used all of his powers and called in numerous favors to quiet the investigation and made arrangements to anonymously pay off the clients that David had swindled.
Jacqueline’s heart was pounding. The blood was rushing to her head. All this time…all this animosity…the years of anger and loss…
Her gaze slowly rose to meet her brother’s, and for the first time in longer than she could remember she actually saw him. Not as this towering, unbending figure, but as a man with a heart and soul that had been broken just as much as hers. But he’d never once lauded what he had done for David in the end. Instead, he took the rebuke and he’d lived with it in stoic silence for years.
“Bran…I…”
He held up his hand. “I’m not telling you all of this to get your sympathy vote.” He tried a smile. “I’m telling you because I lost two of the most important people in my life because either there was nothing I could do or I acted too late.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want to lose you, too.” He voice wavered. “Let me do this for you.” He paused. “Please.”
Tears slid slowly down her cheeks. She pushed herself to her feet and sat beside him. She looked into his eyes and caressed the rugged jaw. All she could do was nod her head, yes.
Relief rushed through Branford in waves as he pulled his sister close against his chest, resting his chin on her head so that she would never see the tears in his eyes.
Chapter 22
“I knew you would never go to him,” Raymond was saying as he and Jacqueline lay spooning together in the center of the king-size bed.
“You’re right, I wouldn’t have.” She turned around to face him. “But if you hadn’t done what you did, I may have never really known my brother, the man he is beneath all the pomp and circumstance. He’s so much more than a public figure.”
“Sometimes adversity and trials bring out the best in people. If they’re given the chance.”
Her gaze moved lovingly across his face. “So I’m learning.”
Rafe and Branford had stayed for dinner and Raymond had miraculously convinced them to try one of his imported beers. They were hooked. Then it became a battle of the chefs as Jacqueline was relegated to a seat on the sidelines while the men tried to outdo each other in the kitchen. Her mouth hung open as she watched them slice, dice and marinate. She knew that Raymond had cooking skills but she had no idea that her brother and nephew could throw down, as well.
Branford found all the ingredients for a spicy sausage jambalaya just like their mother used to make. Not to be outdone, Rafe cooked up grilled chicken and shrimp kebabs and Raymond sautéed steak that melted like butter in your mouth. Mounds of yellow rice and three kinds of vegetables rounded out the meal.
After stuffing themselves, they’d sat around in the living room. She sipped wine while the men alternated between bourbon and beer. How Branford and Rafe managed to make it out to their car was inspiring.
Rafe was heading back to Baton Rouge in the morning and Branford made arrangements to meet Jacqueline at the hospital for tests. Both had declined her offer to have them stay at her house. Branford had a standing reservation at the Hilton and got an extra room for Rafe.
“It was a good day,” Jacqueline said reflectively.
“I like your family.”
She was thoughtful for a moment. A genuine smile of happiness lifted the corners of her mouth. “So do I.”
* * *
Jacqueline, Raymond and Branford stood outside of the hospital. Branford’s car and driver waited at the curb. It had begun to drizzle.
“The doctor said they should be in touch in a few days with the results of the tests,” Branford said, looking into Jacqueline’s eyes. He gripped her upper arm. “It’ll be a match and I’ll be back.”
She released a sigh. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you.” The corner of his mouth rose ever so slightly.
A clap of thunder punctuated the air. He glanced up. “I’d better go. We’ll talk.” He stuck his hand out to Raymond. “Don’t let her push you around too much. Bad habit of us Lawsons.”
Raymond chuckled. “So I’ve been learning.” He gripped Branford’s hand and gave it a firm shake that said more than any words.
“You two take care of each other.” He ducked into the car and it pulled away.
“Come on, it’s going to pour any minute,” Raymond urged, looping his arm around Jacqueline’s waist and ushering her toward the parking lot.
They made it back to the car just as the sky opened up and the deluge came down.
Just darting from the car to the house they were drenched, and they tumbled into the house laughing and shaking off water.
They trooped up to the bedroom and Raymond did the honors of stripping Jacqueline of her wet clothing.
“You are so beautiful,” he said, looking at her standing naked before him. He tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear.
She tugged at the hem of his T-shirt that clung to his broad chest and pulled it up and over his head. She pressed a hot kiss to his exposed flesh. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she said in a thick voice. She unhooked his belt buckle and unzipped him.
“Still want to banish me to L.A.?” He trailed a finger down the center of her chest all the way to her navel. He felt her stomach flutter.
She tilted her head back a bit. “I think I’ve reconsidered my hasty decision.”
“I see.” His fingers flexed across her downy pubic hair.
“Hmmm.” She sighed.
“I think I need to be convinced.”
She grinned and her eyes darkened. She hooked her fingers into his belt loops and backed up toward the bed pulling him with her. She plopped down on the bed, and pulled him between her legs. She glanced up at him from beneath the fan of her lashes before tugging his pants and boxers down over his hips and legs.
He was ready for her before she touched him. Her soft fingers wrapped around his stiff length and brought the tip to her waiting mouth.
Rain pounded against the window. The heavens rumbled and the sky lit up like daytime.
All they heard and saw was each other.
* * *
The waiting was hardest. Each time her phone rang she prayed that it was the hospital calling with news. A week had gone by. They’d said it would be a few days. Her anxiety grew.
She was coming out of the shower when Raymond handed her the phone. “It’s the hospital.”
Her mouth tightened. No matter what they said she would handle it. “Thanks.” She took the phone. “Hello. Yes, this is Jacqueline Lawson.” She covered the mouthpiece. “They want me to hold for Dr. Hutchinson.” It felt like an eternity before he finally came on the line. “Yes. Are you sure? Of course. Yes. I’ll make arrangements. Thank you, Doctor.” She hung up the phone on its base.
“Well? What did he say?”
“He said he doesn’t usually give information over the phone but he knew how long I’d been waiting.”