“Of course, go ahead. If you ever need to talk, you know to just message one of us,” Malcolm said.
Marcy nodded and left the room.
Once she was gone, Malcolm faced Will. “I didn’t think it necessary to tell her that we knew of her brother’s involvement. No need for her to feel more exposed and at risk than she already does.”
Will glanced at Rufus. He hadn’t moved the entire time they were talking with Marcy.
“What do you think we should do about the rumors?” Will thought it would be wise to quash them. “We don’t want to endanger their operations. If there are a few babies getting out, it’s worth doing anything necessary to protect them.”
Malcolm sat back in his chair, leaning on his right elbow, tapping his upper lip with his index finger as he thought. “The rumors have been around for ages. I daresay since the beginning of the system there have been rumors of ways to escape it. I don’t think we should do anything.”
“But what if these rumors lead the wrong people to go digging? Now that we know there’s something to find, it might be better to do what we can to discredit the rumors.”
“I disagree.”
“Why? You’re usually the one who’s more cautious.” Malcolm would have a good reason for not wanting to curtail knowledge of the operation.
“Hope. There’s a reason Marcy gave that name to her child.” Malcolm shook his head. “Sometimes all people need is a little hope to get them through the day. I’m not ready to take that away from them.”
“What brought about this change?” The difference in Malcolm both surprised and delighted Will.
“You did. Before you came along, I thought I was just playing my role, fulfilling my duty, advancing the cause in whatever way I could. I was passed the mantle of leader of the movement, and I expected to serve my time and then pass it on to someone else. But that’s not going to happen this time. It ends with me, Will. I want the people to have hope, because I know we’re going to need them to make our vision of the future a reality. There’s going to come a day when we are going to need their support, and the only reason people will have the energy to come out and fight and do what’s necessary is because hope has sustained them.”
Malcolm never really showed excitement. His emotions were much too subtle to ever be named something as extreme as excitement. Instead, Will saw a steely determination in Malcolm’s eyes as he spoke. That determination stoked Will’s own excitement. He had known from the beginning, from the day he found out that Malcolm was the leader of the Spark of Life Movement, that Malcolm would cause all the change Will had ever hoped for and that he’d do it in his lifetime. Will’s confidence in his partner had never wavered. Between Malcolm and the help they received from Walken, Will knew their goal was within reach.
Will held Malcolm’s gaze. An energy passed between them, an understanding, a strengthening of resolve. With a nod, Malcolm stood and walked to Rufus’s side. At Malcolm’s touch on his shoulder, Rufus looked up.
“Is everything all right with Marcy?” Rufus asked.
“Yes, Marcy’s wonderful.”
“Good, I was worried about her when she was gone.”
Malcolm waved Rufus’s concern away. “Just a little time off. Nothing wrong.”
Malcolm sat and Will joined them. The sun lit Kaleana’s memorial, the flowers standing at proud attention, as if their blooms sought the sun’s rays. Everything seemed brighter, the blue more vivid in the sky, the grass greener, the petals of the flowers more vibrant.
“She loved this view. She really would like this,” Rufus said.
Will hadn’t heard Rufus speak much about Kaleana after her death. Maybe he was finally beginning to heal. The work they embarked on had the potential to do so much for them.
“We’re going to make her proud,” Will said.
“She already was proud of both of you. She loved her work. I know you two do more for the movement than I realize, but I want you to know that I’m ready for more. I’m done feeling sorry for myself. Whatever you need, I’m here.”
Malcolm placed his hand on Rufus’s knee to get his attention. “We know. You’ve already done so much, but there’s a lot left to do. We’re going to need you to help supervise the manufacture of the collars.”
“And after that? Kaleana didn’t die so I could have a better collar around my neck. I didn’t use to dare wish for more. I knew I had already used up all the luck one man has any right to by escaping Sharan and coming here, but it’s not enough. Kaleana taught me to hope for more. I don’t know where she got the certainty that things would ever really change, but she did, and I have to believe in that.” An unfamiliar passion lit Rufus’s eyes.
Will looked to Malcolm for the answer. Before he’d met Malcolm, he’d dreamed of a day when the collar would come off, but they were no more than idle daydreams, a way to pass the time and make his existence more bearable. Recently, those dreams had taken a more concrete form. Malcolm had caused that change. All of his hopes to be free of the collar rested with him.
“You’re right to hope for more,” Malcolm said. “I’m not going to stop working until every one of these collars is removed. You have my word on that. And you’re going to be there every step of the way. We need you. You’re an integral part of this family.”
The answer appeared to satisfy Rufus. It satisfied Will, too. He had his partner back.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Malcolm stared at his computer screen, debating what he should do first. After lunch, Will had gone off with Nick to go over some activity on the darknet. Malcolm had the office to himself, alone with his thoughts. There was one thing he had to do that seemed more urgent than anything else. He needed his second-in-command on board if he expected success, and he wanted to share this exciting bit of news.
Lazarus: I have some important news. We have a Geneticist as an operative.
Malcolm tapped his foot, waiting for a response. It shouldn’t take long.
Oculus: Excellent. Are you sure of his loyalty?
Malcolm’s foot stilled. A thrill went through him at chatting with Oculus as he used to.
Lazarus: I’m sure we can trust him. He has no ideological motivations, but he wants to see the system abolished, same as us.
Oculus: If you trust him, then that’s enough for me.
Lazarus: It’s time to speed things up. The board is set. We won’t get a better opportunity.
Oculus: I know. You are better positioned and have a better view of the board than anyone. I’ve always hoped I’d never have cause or opportunity to succeed you.
Lazarus: I’m glad to hear it, because I want this to end with me. Before my tenure is up, I want the collars gone.
Oculus: Ambitious. I like it.
Malcolm had known Oculus for more than a decade. As his second-in-command, Oculus had stood by him and supported him from the beginning of his tenure. The way Malcolm had behaved toward him had been unconscionable.
Lazarus: I owe you an apology. You handled everything marvelously while I was gone, and you wouldn’t have been wrong to remove me.
Oculus: I’m just glad it didn’t come to that. Ajax is really the one who deserves your praise. If it weren’t for him, I would have had to remove you.
Lazarus: I told you he was special when I revealed myself to him.
Oculus: Yes, you did. And it’s that sound judgment that kept my threat from going further. Ajax managed the movement better than I could have.
Lazarus: I should have never put you in that position.
Malcolm didn’t blame Oculus for making the threat. If anything, it comforted him to know that Oculus was prepared to do whatever was necessary for the movement without allowing his personal feelings to interfere. The movement was only as strong as the ability of the individuals involved to adhere to the structure in place.
Oculus: I wish you had contacted me. I worried about you after your Zed’s death.
Lazarus: I know. I was foolish to stay away.
At a time when I needed as many friends as I could get, I turned away from one of the few true friends I have. I’m sorry.
Oculus: I accept your apology. Now, tell me what our next steps are.
Relief poured through Malcolm at Oculus’s forgiveness.
Lazarus: We’re waiting on word about the new collars. We need to make sure we’re able to use all the information we’re getting, otherwise this entire operation is for naught.
Oculus: The program is working well. I’m coordinating with Oedipus and Horus to determine what we should be looking for.
Oedipus and Horus were two biologists working as agents, each from a different nation-state.
Lazarus: Good work. Keep it up and let me know if there’s anything you need.
Oculus: Will do. It’s great to have you back.
Oculus has signed off.
Malcolm relaxed back into his chair. He’d taken the first step to repair his relationship with Oculus. They were prepared to move forward, but Malcolm needed to confirm something. Even though he accepted Walken as an ally, that didn’t mean he trusted him. Malcolm hadn’t lied when he told Will that he would still take his revenge. Walken was nothing more than a tool, a means to an end. Believing everything he said would be foolish.
Malcolm looked up the liaison in his messaging app. The settlements had never been forthcoming with any information that the movement didn’t have a direct need for. They guarded their secrets well, which was why Malcolm had always trusted them as an ally. But he needed to know. He needed to make sure that what Walken had told them was true, that the babies were making it to safety. If Zed babies were being smuggled out of New Cali, the only place they could be going was the settlements. If not there, at least the settlements would know if there were other places taking babies in.
Lazarus: I’ve discovered new information about a resistance group that claims to be taking Zed babies out of New Cali. Can you confirm?
Malcolm sent the message to his liaison with the settlements and waited. He hoped his contact would answer him soon. If Walken had lied, if these babies were being taken for some nefarious purpose by the Geneticists, Malcolm needed to know. He’d exposed himself and Will to Walken, and he needed to know if there was a reason to terminate the relationship.
All these years he had thought the rumors were just that: rumors. If only he had known sooner, perhaps he could have helped. Then again, he had work that only a man in his position could do. From the sound of it, the Betas working with Marcy were doing a fine job. Besides, only so many babies could go missing before someone would start asking serious questions. Marcy’s brother worked at a birthing center. Malcolm assumed after seeing his sister go through such an ordeal after the birth of her daughter that he had somehow sought out that position in order to make himself available to help rescue other babies. Malcolm wondered if Marcy’s brother knew that he had a Geneticist helping him out. Either the Geneticists cared so little for Zed life that they didn’t bother investigating the accidental deaths, or Walken or another like him glossed it over.
Liaison: I cannot divulge any information not directly related to the movement.
Malcolm had assumed as much. He couldn’t let that lie, though.
Lazarus: This does have to do with the movement.
Liaison: How?
Lazarus: I have confirmation of the operation to get Zed babies to safety. If these children aren’t making it to the settlements, then there’s been a compromise somewhere, and I need to find it.
Liaison: I can’t confirm any details, but rest assured that we are aware of the operation and that the babies are indeed making it to safety.
Lazarus: Are you sure that all of them are accounted for?
Liaison: We have access to the necessary records to confirm that every baby is accounted for.
Lazarus: So they are really safe?
A part of Malcolm couldn’t believe it. He kept waiting for some trick, for some deception to be revealed. Already he fought for the good of the Zeds in New Cali; he couldn’t also take upon him the burden of those who were no longer there.
Liaison: They are being well taken care of. They want for nothing. Don’t worry.
Don’t worry. If only the liaison knew whom he was talking to. Malcolm found it almost impossible not to worry. Who could blame him when all around him were reasons for anxiety? Kaleana used to chide him for his constant concern, but he felt it was the least he could do. How could he not be concerned about the welfare of those who hadn’t been born with all of his privileges and advantages? Life for him hadn’t been easy, but how much harder would it have been had he not been born an Alpha? He had to defend the defenseless. If he didn’t, then who would?
Lazarus: Thank you for confirming. I will do all I can to assist.
Liaison: Lazarus, your help is needed here. You have a different mission, one that is just as important. Let us save the children that we can, because we’re depending on you to save much more than that.
Not so long ago, such words would have triggered an avalanche of guilt and unworthiness to descend upon him. Now, however, the words exhilarated him, because he knew they were not only true, but possible.
When the liaison put it like that, Malcolm felt relief, as if a weight had been lifted from him. This wasn’t his burden to carry. He had his objective, and he knew it demanded all of his focus. Somehow, in that moment, Malcolm felt a connection to this faceless, voiceless liaison. This person who seemed omniscient, with a full view of the board.
Lazarus: Are you so sure I’ll succeed?
Liaison: I’ve never doubted it. We all believe in you.
Lazarus: How can you say that?
Liaison: We’ve been watching you. We’ve studied the past. It’s the most accurate predictor of the future. Everything points to your success. Stay true to the path, and you won’t have to worry about Zed babies. There won’t be Zeds for you to worry about at all.
Malcolm sighed, as if he’d been holding his breath without realizing it. For the first time in a long time, warmth entered him, letting him know that everything would be all right. He knew the leadership of the settlements believed in the movement. It was the only reason they would allow them to keep using space in their archives.
Still, to hear it so explicitly from one person made it all the more real. He would do what he could to help Marcy, but his goal was bigger than that.
The sound of the door opening drew Malcolm’s eye. Will entered, a slight smile on his face. Will’s presence lit something inside Malcolm. Malcolm’s goal was both bigger and smaller than Marcy’s. He wanted to free all the Zeds in New Cali. But more than that, he wanted society to see his partner as an equal. He wanted to gaze on the bare neck of his lover. Nothing short of that would satisfy him.
“What did Nick have to show you?”
Will fell in his chair and turned to face Malcolm. “Not much. There’s the usual chatter going about. I’m actually the one who wanted to see him. I asked him to show me the information on the rumors. I know we’re not going to interfere with them, but I wanted to see exactly what was being said. I’d like to know if the people spreading the rumors are speaking from firsthand experience or if they’re just passing along what they’ve been told.”
“That’s good. What did you find?”
“Based on what we know, I think some of the people at least are speaking from firsthand knowledge. Some of it worries me, but you’re right, people need hope. The boards light up any time the rumors are mentioned. The people there, they want to believe. They want any sign that the way things are now is not permanent, that there’s some sort of escape. I think we’re doing the right thing by not interfering. But I did ask Nick to see if he could find out who is posting the rumors. If the Geneticists connect who’s saying what on those boards, then we’re all in trouble. But a lot of it depends on how safe the posters are being. I figure if we can find out who they are, then they’re being too reckless. If that’s the case, then a little friendly rem
inder to keep themselves secure could be in order.”
That was smart. In truth, Malcolm was a little worried about the rumors. His first knee-jerk reaction was to quash them just as Will had suggested. But there was no need for it. While he still believed in being as safe as possible, he had to accept that there was a certain amount of risk in everything. They couldn’t let their pace be dictated by fear. Their mission was too large, their purpose too great, to be steered in any way by fear.
It wasn’t fear that prompted him to join the movement as a young man. It had been anger, a desire for change, a burning need for the world to be different, to be better. Quashing the hope of others was the antithesis of that mission, especially when such hope was justified. Despite the risks and the danger, he sincerely hoped that, in Beta bedrooms across New Cali, couples spoke to each other in the dark about the possibility, about the hope that their child could have gotten away.
Until their plan was further along, that’s all Malcolm could offer them: hope.
“Let me know if Nick finds anyone who’s being reckless with security, and I’ll take care of it.”
“I will, but it’s not likely. Anyone who’s too slack with security wouldn’t be allowed on the board. No one would invite anyone who wasn’t safe.”
It came down to trust. There were times when Malcolm barely trusted himself, and yet every day his safety, the safety of his family, and the direction of the movement all relied on trusting others. It had never come easily to him, but he had to learn to trust more. It was the only way he could possibly do what he needed to. All he could do was trust everyone to do their part and do it well.
It was no different with Walken. Malcolm had no choice but to trust him even though the very notion of trusting such a man turned his stomach. But he had no choice. Without Walken, their goals were too far out of reach. So for the sake of the movement, for his family, and for the man sitting across from him, he would trust Walken.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
[In Distress 02.0] In Pain Page 25