by Annie West
‘Yes?’ Her heart crashed against her ribs. He didn’t sound businesslike now. Whatever he was about to say, this was personal. She could tell, even from a distance of nearly six hundred kilometres.
‘Cancel my appointment for lunch tomorrow. I’ll be back in Milan then and we need to talk.’
Talk? Like when he’d told her sleeping with her had been a mistake?
Allegra sagged back in her leather chair and stared at the lush, richly patterned wallpaper the decorator had used to give the outer office a warm feel. She felt warm now. Burning up, in fact.
With anger?
Or impatience with herself for not having this out with him earlier? To her disgust, she’d come back to Milan and fallen into the role of quiescent underling instead of fighting for what she wanted.
Now, finally, after days pretending nothing had happened between them, of cutting her off when she tried to talk with him, finally Luca was ready to discuss it. To clear the air, of course. The tension in the office had ratcheted higher each day. It couldn’t be ignored any longer.
‘I’ll order lunch in and—’
‘No.’ He cut her off. ‘I’ll arrange something.’
She’d love to believe he had a romantic lunch for two in mind, but he was back to brusque now, his tone clipped and determined. She knew that tone. It was the voice of a man who’d made a decision and couldn’t wait to act on it. Luca always moved quickly once he made his mind up.
What had he decided? To offer her an affair? Or tell her they couldn’t go on working like this?
‘Allegra, are you still there?’ No mistaking his impatience this time.
‘Of course.’ She breathed deep and swivelled her chair to look out the window. As if mirroring her mood, the day had turned slate grey, rain pounding down relentlessly.
It was the complete opposite of the intoxicating clear blue sky in the mountains. But that was fantasy, she reminded herself. This was reality.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow then.’ She forced herself back into the role of ever-efficient PA. ‘And I’ve been working on the Venice report. I’ll have it ready for tomorrow too.’
She heard someone in the background, speaking to Luca. His meeting must be resuming. ‘Good. I’ll see you then.’
The connection went dead and Allegra grimaced as she put the phone down. Had she really expected lover-like warmth from him? If so, if she’d secretly harboured a hope he felt more for her than he’d let on, any such hope must be dead now.
Maybe that accounted for the strange tightness banding her chest.
She shoved her chair back and rose to pace the office. She’d see what tomorrow brought. And after that…
Well, she’d face that when the time came.
But tomorrow didn’t bring illumination. It didn’t even bring Luca. She got a text saying he’d been held up but he’d see her in the office when he arrived.
Noon became one, then two, then three. By four pm Allegra could take no more. She marched from his office to hers, tidying, straightening, trying to work off some of her excess energy without success. Everything was up to date and all she could do now was wait for Luca to arrive.
She caught sight of her reflection in the window and stalled. Had she really hoped Luca would relent and say he wanted to be with her? Surely that’s why she wore this brand new, sleeveless jersey dress that swung round her thighs as she walked and ended just above her knees. She’d bought it in a flash of defiance, telling herself she could dress as she pleased now he knew who she really was.
But the insidious truth was that she’d dressed in hopes of piquing his interest. Of making him see her once more as a desirable woman.
Pain beat through her, a terrible reverberation that pummelled her bones and made even her teeth ache.
Fool! You love him. You loved him before and sex with him just made those stupid romantic imaginings seem possible. But they’re not.
He couldn’t have made it any clearer that you were simply an itch he wanted to scratch. A curiosity to be savoured. But now he’s regretting the night you spent together.
All week she’d tortured herself, imagining heat in those fathomless dark eyes, desire in his suddenly rigid body when she drew too close.
But she couldn’t fool herself anymore. She’d done that too long.
He just doesn’t want you, Allegra. Face it!
If he did, he’d have told her, shown her, before now.
As for this discussion they were supposed to have…
She shivered as she recalled his deep, serious tone. It was something momentous, she was sure of that. And if it wasn’t that he wanted to pursue a relationship with her, it had to be that he’d decided she was an embarrassment he didn’t want to face in the office each day.
Oh, he wouldn’t sack her. Luca had too much integrity for that. But he’d offer her work somewhere else in his global company. Somewhere they didn’t have to meet daily.
Allegra folded her arms over her chest and hugged tight, holding back the hot emotions threatening to spill out.
The question was – what would she do about it? Would she meekly follow his lead?
She’d spent the last twelve months bruised and hiding her real self because of the actions of one man. A man who’d made her feel, despite all logic, that she was in some way to blame for the way he’d hit on her. She’d penned herself into a half-life she didn’t want anymore. She needed more. She wanted the freedom to be herself. Whether it meant wearing cute dresses or riding a motorbike or going to bed with a man she loved.
Her defiance wavered and her chin wobbled before she set it high.
She loved Luca but he didn’t love her. No amount of courage could fix that. But at least she could decide her own future on her own terms. She didn’t have to wait meekly for him to dictate how it would be.
*
Luca loped up the stairs in his Milan headquarters, ignoring the plush lift. He needed to work off some of the tension dragging at his shoulders.
It had been a hellish day. His morning meeting had pushed to two then three hours as negotiations grew more convoluted. He’d wanted this deal, badly. But finally he’d shoved back his chair and declared to a room full of stunned lawyers that the deal was off.
He had other priorities. Namely the woman waiting in their shared executive suite. Just the thought of her made his pulse pound and his breath quicken.
How he’d kept his hands to himself these last few days, he didn’t know. But he’d been determined to show her he didn’t expect to use his position as her boss to force her into his bed again. Even though that was exactly where he wanted her.
His belly tightened and his breath quickened at the memory of her naked in his arms.
He’d been aching for her so long and today had turned into a nightmare, where the quicker he tried to reach her, the slower he moved.
First a problem with air traffic control in Rome. Then a mechanical difficulty with the plane. Then the realisation he’d forgotten to charge his phone, and left the charger in his Rome apartment.
Finally he’d grabbed another phone and rung the office but hadn’t been able to reach Allegra. She must have been in a meeting and he wasn’t in the mood for speaking with one of the junior staff, who’d pick up if she didn’t answer immediately. Six times he’d tried and each time his frustration grew. It did no good to tell himself she’d have answered instantly if she’d recognised his number calling.
But now he was here. Relief settled on his bones as he shoved open the door to the executive suite. He strode in, and found it empty.
‘Allegra?’ He scowled and looked at his watch. Far too early for her to have left, even on a Friday.
He crossed the room and stared at her empty desk. She was always tidy and efficient, but the bare, gleaming wood looked too blank. Her computer was off too.
‘Allegra?’ He put his head into the kitchen they shared but it was empty.
Pulse quickening, he headed for his office. She’d said she had reports for
him. She’d be in there, waiting.
He had a moment’s irrepressible vision of her waiting, perched on his desk in nothing but the ultra-brief, black lace underwear she’d worn last week. All that creamy smooth skin on display and her beautiful ebony hair spilling in waves around her shoulders.
Somehow the sexy underwear was all the more seductive on a woman like Allegra who didn’t dress to attract a man.
Palm to the door, he pushed it open and marched in, anticipation sharp on his tongue.
Empty. There was no-one there.
His heart smashed against his ribs in a brutal rhythm of frustration and, yes, worry. It wasn’t like Allegra to leave his office unattended.
Then he saw the paper on his desk. Dead centre. Unmissable. He didn’t know why but everything inside him stopped, as if his heart forgot to beat.
He strode across and snatched it up.
It was typed, but signed by Allegra with a slashing, purposeful signature.
Luca read and reread the brief note. But there was no misinterpreting the message. His stalwart assistant, the woman who’d burrowed under all his defences and surprised him into the realisation that he wanted not just sex but a serious relationship, had resigned.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
* * *
Allegra slicked on her new lipstick and immediately felt better. After a year of wearing clear gloss it was a treat to dress up. Subtle makeup made the most of her eyes – eyes she’d spent far too long hiding. And now a rich, warm lipstick to complement her colouring.
She angled her head, taking in her reflection, and smiled, ignoring the fact it was crooked and a little wobbly. Determined, she thrust aside the disappointment and hurt. If she let herself dwell on that she’d be huddled on the floor of the executive bathroom, a blubbering mess.
Allegra intended to leave the office with her head high and her armour fully in place.
So what if Luca hadn’t been bothered keeping his appointment with her? So what if he avoided her? That he didn’t value her, much less care for her?
Her world didn’t have to revolve around Luca de Laurentis. No matter how much she’d let it.
She was young and fit and capable. She’d get over this. She’d got over what had happened in London and she’d move past this too.
Except in London no-one had bruised your heart.
Bruised, she told herself. Not broken.
If she said it often enough it might turn out to be true. Or at least she could pretend it was. And if she really didn’t feel like going out on the town, visiting one of the lively bars the girls on the floor below frequented, well, she’d try to enjoy herself when she got there. It would do her good to be with people other than Luca.
Allegra blinked and swallowed hard. It felt like someone had lined her throat with sandpaper.
She refused to let pain triumph. She was not going to hand in her notice and slink straight home to sob out her woes. It would probably come to that later tonight, but it was important for her self-respect that she at least pretended to be strong. Pretended to be heart whole.
Her lips twisted as she took in her reflection. In a couple of deft moves she pulled her hair down so it spilled across her shoulders and bare upper arms. But it had been too long since she’d gone out wearing it free. Instead she compromised, pinning it back up loosely, so a few strands framed her face and her natural waves added body to the style.
She tilted her chin. It didn’t matter that she felt bruised all over by Luca’s patent discomfort, being with her now they’d shared a bed. It didn’t matter that she was walking away from a job she loved. What mattered was taking care of herself. Moving on and finding a life that was right for her.
No more camouflage.
No more tiptoeing around men and their egos.
In fact — no more men!
Now, there was something she’d drink to. It was early but she’d be happy to raise a glass of chilled prosecco to that toast.
One last glance told her she’d left nothing behind. She closed her bag, took a deep breath and walked out into the office.
And straight into a solid wall of heat, muscle and finely woven wool suiting.
Allegra gasped. And with the oxygen came a waft of all-too-familiar spice and man scent. A pair of large hands clamped her upper arms, holding her firmly against that tall body and her head rocked back. Instantly she was lost in the velvet darkness of his eyes.
‘Luca!’ Emotion pummelled her. Excitement, pleasure, and then the inevitable pain. He wasn’t here for her. This was his office.
Now she’d decided to resign, it would have been far easier not to see him again. Especially as her body was already responding so flagrantly. Her nipples hardened, pressing into her bra and there was a soft heat at the apex of her thighs that told its own story.
Mentally she’d accepted that he wasn’t for her, that it had all been a ridiculous, painful fantasy to think they could ever be a couple. But physically she was still in thrall to him.
‘Allegra! I thought you’d gone.’ There was a raw rasp to his deep voice, a desperate note that made her stare.
If only she had gone, instead of trying to talk herself into an evening of socialising when all she wanted was to cry her heart out.
No, not all she wanted. Standing rammed up against his hard frame, she admitted she still wanted Luca. Would possibly always want him. And wasn’t that just pathetic?
If only she’d walked out of the office as soon as she’d typed her resignation!
‘I’m just on my way now.’ She stepped back, except his hands stopped her, tightening on her. She felt the imprint of those long fingers on the bare skin of her upper arms. It was enough to make a woman wish she’d worn a long-sleeved suit instead of this new, lightweight dress.
‘Not yet.’ His jaw hardened and she read the tic of a pulse in his temple. Surely it raced too fast? Almost as fast as her own runaway heart?
With the last shreds of pride she cut the connection between them, glancing down at her watch.
‘I’m afraid I’m running late.’
‘For a job interview? Or a date?’ The rough urgency of his tone had her lifting her head, taking in the combative set of his jaw and the scowl he wore. This was Luca as she’d rarely seen him. He looked on the edge of control.
A tremor of excitement mingled with foreboding rippled down her spine.
‘That’s none of your business, Luca.’ She firmed her lips, hating the melting sensation along her bones when she tasted his name on her tongue. Ridiculous, but it made her think of the taste of him in her mouth, richly addictive.
His hands tightened and he thrust his face forward into her space. ‘Of course it is. You work for me. You’re my—’
‘Your what, Luca?’ She stiffened. How dare he act so possessively? He’d all but ignored her this week. It was clear that their night together, far from heralding a new stage in their relationship, had made him uncomfortable working with her. ‘Your reliable PA? Well, PAs can resign and I have. There’s a letter on your desk.’
‘I’ve seen it.’ He spoke through clenched teeth, the sound emerging as a low, feral growl that warned he was close to losing his cool.
Good! She’d hate to think he felt nothing at all about her leaving. In fact she hoped he had incredible difficulty finding a replacement for her.
‘Excellent.’ She raised her shoulders. ‘Now if you’d just let me go.’
‘No!’ Instead of releasing her he stepped closer, forcing her back a pace. ‘I won’t let you go. What the hell do you think you’re doing, leaving me that snippy little note?’
Allegra looked up into his darkly handsome face and wished that for once she wouldn’t react. That she could survey him as coolly as she did any other man. To her horror she couldn’t. Even now. Even with a belly full of righteous indignation and a determination to save herself by walking away.
‘You’re hurting me,’ she lied, but it was worth it when he released his hold and stepped back. W
hen he touched her… She shut her eyes. Surely one day she’d no longer react to him this way.
‘What’s going on, Allegra?’ His voice was soft but husky as if he had trouble controlling it.
See how she imagined things even now? Because deep down part of her still wanted to believe the magic they’d shared might last.
She snapped her eyes open and took one last look at his glorious, hard, beautiful face. As if she needed to fix the memory! She feared his features were already permanently engraved in her brain.
She sidestepped to walk past him but he blocked her. When she turned the other way he stepped in front of her again. He looked large and implacable and determined to get his own way.
Tough!
‘It was not a snippy note. It was a perfectly reasonable resignation.’
‘As if we’re complete strangers!’ He raked his hand back through his hair leaving him looking just rumpled enough to evoke memories of him in bed.
Allegra slammed the door on that train of thought. ‘No, we were boss and employee, which is why I offered a resignation. I’d prefer not to work off my notice since I’ve got so much leave accrued, but of course—’
‘There is no of course,’ he said with a gritted control that told her a volcano of fury simmered just below the surface.
‘In the circumstances I think it best to leave.’
Before her eyes the colour washed from his face, leaving his features pale and starkly defined. ‘You think I’ll use my position as your employer to harass you sexually?’
‘No! Of course not. You’re nothing like my old boss.’ Luca had never pressed unwanted attentions on her, or on anyone else. The problem was his attentions were all too welcome, but he just wasn’t interested. And she had no intention of putting herself through hell, working for a man she loved, who didn’t care for her.
The fact he’d even consider it for a moment flummoxed her. ‘You know what happened between us wasn’t like that. And here in the office you’ve never once…’ She shrugged, her voice petering out. How badly she’d wanted him to take up where they’d left off.