24 October
From: Lily
To: Maggie
Maggiee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am writing to you from the ‘deck’ (that’s what they call the terrace) of Alice and Sam’s place in Venice Beach. The sun is setting. I am having a beer. There are boats going by on the canal. I think this is what they call ‘living the dream’.
I’ve been house-sitting for Alice and Sam while they’re on honeymoon in Sicily. Sam was lecturing me about not setting anything on fire or having parties and trashing the place, but as I said to him, I don’t know enough people here to have a party. (Yet!)
I am sorry for waking you up that time. I was so excited that I got the job and I couldn’t wait to tell you – I just got the time difference slightly wrong. My dad was pretty surprised about it all too, though he thinks it’s A Good Thing and will be The Making Of Me, whatever that means. I hope you’re not cross at me for skipping town without coming back to say goodbye.
I just had my first day at work and it was brilliant. I had to chase RSVPs for a children’s birthday party where Selena Gomez will be singing, source 1,000 Mason jars (had to google those, no idea what they were but they’re very big here) and think up ideas for a launch for a new organic cruelty-free make-up line from Alicia Silverstone. AS IN CLUELESS. I KNOW! It is so much fun. I’m going to have to work some evenings – on Thursday I’m doing the clipboard at a party in CHATEAU MARMONT. I KNOW! Sorry, I’ll try and rein in the caps. It’s kind of how the people in the office here talk.
I’m also house-hunting. I’ve met some ‘interesting’ potential flatmates, including one guy who told me he found his job, apartment and girlfriend all online before he moved to LA from Silicon Valley. That was in Silver Lake, where all the hipsters live. Tomorrow I’m going to see a place here in Venice, sharing with two other girls. It’s more expensive but they seem nice, so fingers crossed. I’d like to stay near Alice and Sam and I could also cycle to work beside the sea. Or as they say here, ‘bike to work beside the ocean’! I’ll be bilingual soon.
What else? I got Alice and Sam a belated wedding present – two Koi carp to live in their pond. One is called Lily, after me, and the other is Monica because I bought them in Santa Monica. I hope they don’t get stolen, they were pretty expensive.
And last but not least … Jesse is coming to stay with me this weekend. We’ve been emailing almost every day. I can’t wait to see him and I think he’ll be happy to get away from Boulder. There are still ructions over his wedding-that-never-was. His mum wanted him and his ex to design a special ‘We’re sorry we cancelled our wedding’ card but Jesse put his foot down and said a group email was fine.
Write soon and tell me all your news. I’d love to Skype, but as this laptop can’t cope with Skype, that will have to wait till after I get paid. Sam’s lent me an old one of his for the time being. I’m also going to buy a car! I’m borrowing my boss’s nanny’s car at the mo, because she’s home visiting relatives in Guatemala. She has a lot of religious medals in the car, which I find reassuring.
Lots of love,
Lily xxx
25 October
From: Maggie
To: Lily
Hi Lil,
It sounds as though you are having an amazing time! I’m so glad, and of course I’m not cross at you. You know I haven’t really been cross at you since the great Hedgehog Hairbrush incident of ’97. I was just surprised, is all – one minute you’re going to a wedding in America and the next you’ve relocated. But on the whole I think I agree with your dad.
How can I compete? I’m so boring. I am writing from my desk in the lab office. It’s raining outside and I’ve just been browsing Net-a-Porter while having a halloumi hot wrap from Pret (new in their vegetarian range, very nice). I’m banned from shopping, though, as I just bought the most gorgeous biscuit wool coat from Toast – looks like something Betty Draper would wear. What are you doing about all your clothes, incidentally?
Flat is falling apart as usual. The electric toilet in Fran’s en suite broke, and we had to wait for five days before the landlord sent his dodgy handyman around. He was basically casing the joint – he even asked me if the place would be empty over Christmas. I should move, really, but the location’s good and Fran and Christina are so easy to live with. Also, Leo and I might think about moving in together … we’ll see.
Leo is great, busy as ever. The next three weekends are all booked up – we’re at a wedding, then he’s got a stag weekend and then the weekend after, he’s going cycling in the Lake District. And then I’m away for work the weekend after that. So we’re not going to have any time on our own until it’s practically Christmas.
Speaking of which: I was thinking of getting him, for Christmas, a scrapbook with photos and ticket stubs etc., from all the things we’ve done together over the past year. I saw a lovely one in Paperchase. It’s our first anniversary at New Year, so it could be a nice way to mark it. What do you think? Is that cute or is it psycho?
Also, when are you coming home for Christmas? It might seem like ages away, but I saw my first chocolate Santa in Sainsbury’s today.
Mxx
1 November
From: Lily
To: Maggie
Hi Mags,
Greetings from Colorado, where I’m visiting Jesse! His place is great: he has a spare bedroom and a bonsai tree and a water filter thing and everything. Boulder is lovely, really chilled-out and outdoorsy. But small. We ran into J’s ex-girlfriend last night, which was not awkward at all (I’m being sarcastic). She was exactly as I pictured her – very wholesome, also wearing make-up while jogging. I know you wear eyeliner for your triathlons, but that’s different. You can’t help being stylish.
Regarding Leo – that is a pain that he’s so booked up; you’ve mentioned it before. But at least he has a life. I’m not sure about the scrapbook, though, Mags – it could be a little intense. It sounds more like a girl present. Feel free to make me a scrapbook of our friendship any time, but maybe get him a book or something?
It’s so warm here, it’s hard to believe it’s November. Regarding Christmas … it’s so expensive to fly home, I’ve decided to stay here instead. Alice and Sam are going to Salt Lake City to his grandparents’ place, and Jesse will be heading there too with his family. So it looks like we’ll all be spending Christmas together, which is weird but will be really lovely. I will miss our Christmas Eve Baileys in the Black Lion, though! And I’ll miss Dad and my brother as well – and even, sort of, Fi. She and I have exchanged a couple of emails, you’ll be glad to hear. Short ones. But still.
I must go now, as J and I are heading out for beers with some of his teacher friends. I’d better not have too many, as we’re getting up at 6 a.m. tomorrow to go hiking. I know! I can’t believe it either. We’re spending the rest of the weekend in Canyonlands National Park, which is all the way over in Utah. It’s where that guy dropped down a canyon and cut his arm off to escape. So if you don’t hear from me, SEND HELP!
Lily xxx
PS When are you and Leo coming out to visit me? You would both love it – it’s so outdoorsy and you could do some serious damage in the shops here. It turns out it’s cheaper for me to buy stuff here than have my old clothes shipped over!
PPS Terrible news: Monica (one of the Koi carp) got attacked by a raccoon. She was nearly eaten but Sam saved her just in time. He’s put a net over the pond but he’s grumbling that he can’t look after her for the rest of her life. I didn’t realise they can live to be a hundred.
4 November
From: Lily
To: Maggie
Hey Mags,
Just following up quickly to let you know I got home from Utah alive. It was really great, though knackering – I hadn’t realised we’d be walking for quite so long. Jesse and I had an argument about Aron Ralston (the guy who cut his arm off). He was saying how stupid he was for going out hiking alone and that he didn’t respect the wilderness enough, and I was saying t
hat surely that was the whole fun of it (not fun, but you know what I mean). Jesse can be a little judgemental, but I know he doesn’t mean it.
In other news, I got the apartment in Venice! I’m so excited. The girls seem great. Amanda is a trends forecaster, and says that Mason jars are over and the new thing is coloured glass. So that’s good to know. And you would like Megan, she’s very sporty and jogs five miles along the beach every morning, but she’s also very into her grooming. She even waxes her arms. It’s a whole other world.
Lxx
PS I got a car! Here’s the link. I really wanted a jeep, like in Clueless, but it’s too expensive, so I’m having this one instead. Jesse says it will be a nightmare to get it serviced, but I’ve always wanted a vintage car.
15 November
From: Maggie
To: Lily
Hey Lil,
Congrats on the new flat and the car. And you’re spending Christmas with Jesse! I’m so happy for you! And of course I’ll visit soon. Leo is keen too – we just need to sit down and make plans, and as ever that’s hard to do as we’re both so busy (well, he is).
I wouldn’t worry about arguing with Jesse, by the way. Sometimes I wish Leo and I argued more. The other day we were disagreeing about how to pronounce the word ‘python’ – I said it should rhyme with hyphen and he insisted it was ‘pyTHON’. I went online and produced multiple examples of people pronouncing it the normal way, but he just said, ‘I’m not convinced.’ I should really have thumped him but instead I counted to ten.
However, we have made exciting plans for New Year. Some friends of his are going skiing – they’ve hired a chalet in Méribel, in the French Alps. I will send you the link separately, it looks very luxurious (and is costing an arm and a leg). I was worried it would be a massive group as per usual – you know how social Leo is – but it’s just us and two other couples. Plus another girl, called Jenny. I’ve been there (i.e. single and stuck on holiday with a load of couples), so I’m going to be extra nice to her. Sorry if that sounds really patronising, you know I don’t mean it that way.
I am so happy that Leo and I are finally going away together. Three whole days. Do you realise this is our first proper holiday together and we’ve been going out for a year? You and Jesse are putting us to shame – but I suppose you are long-distance.
Maggie xxx
PS Sorry to hear about Monica. I can’t believe you live near raccoons! Take a picture for me.
21 November
From: Lily
To: Maggie
Hey Maggie,
Raccoons are nothing! I’ve seen lizards, hummingbirds and even a skunk (kept well away from that).
Bit of a shock in the apartment the other evening: Amanda (trend forecaster) revealed that she’s polyamorous – ‘poly’ for short. This means she has sexual relationships with lots of people at once (though Jesse says it’s just Greek for sleeping around). I feel so prissy but I’m alarmed – I don’t want to come home from work and walk in on an orgy. Though as Megan pointed out later, Amanda’s not actually seeing anyone at the moment, so she’s only polyamorous in theory.
Anyway – the chalet looks AMAZING! So luxurious, and I can’t imagine anything more romantic. And Maggie, you’re totally right that the only reason Jesse and I go on so many holidays is because otherwise we’d never see each other! In fact, I’m spending Thanksgiving with him in Boulder next weekend. I wasn’t sure about going to Boulder because we’ll have to have dinner with his whole family, and his mum’s not my biggest fan. But I’m sure it will be fine.
The other day as I was driving to Malibu (!) for work, I was thinking how quickly life can change. Three months ago, I was miserable, temping, living at home with Dad and cynical about men. And now I have a job I love, a wonderful boyfriend to spend Thanksgiving with, and I live by the beach with a polyamorous trends forecaster. It just shows you.
I have the same kind of feeling about you and this skiing holiday. Anything could happen. You could come home engaged! If you do, promise to let me help plan your wedding. I’m getting some very hands-on experience here and I could genuinely do a good job even from abroad. Will you have it in Bromley or in London, do you think?
Love,
Lily xxx
PS You can tell your fiancé from me, it’s PYthon to rhyme with hyphen.
5 December
From: Maggie
To: Lily
Lily – get a hold of yourself! We are not getting engaged! Leo and I are SO far from getting engaged, you have no idea. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a long-distance relationship with him, even though we both live in London.
Anyway, it’s not my life’s ambition to get married. Last night we went out for drinks with a girl in my lab who just got engaged. She was showing everyone her ring and she seemed happy, but hysterically happy and almost relieved. Like she’d never thought her boyfriend would allow this great thing to happen and now he had. I don’t want to ever look like that. And I’d much rather be happy in a relationship than engaged when it wasn’t right. So for this holiday, I just want to have a nice time with Leo. And not get caught in an avalanche.
How was Thanksgiving in Boulder?
Mxx
10 December
From: Lily
To: Maggie
Hi Mags,
OK, I jumped the gun, I’m sorry. And you are totally right that getting engaged isn’t the be-all and end-all. Jesse and Wendy were engaged: say no more.
But you’re not in a long-distance relationship with Leo! You’re just both busy and pursuing different interests. Jesse and I are completely different, you know. He bought an old dresser on Craigslist that he’s restoring with special varnishes and sandpaper and everything. I keep my clothes on an Ikea rail. When we’re driving, he wants to play NPR (public radio – very boring) and I want to play Rihanna. But we’re happy.
Thanksgiving was actually really lovely. The food was fabulous – his mum, Diane, is a really good cook. It was just a pity that we were ten minutes late because I had to call Dad; I didn’t realise ten minutes late is a big deal in Jesse’s house.
But dinner was fun. There was a lovely moment where we all had to go around the table and say what we were thankful for. His little sister Carla was thankful that the film of The Hunger Games was so true to the book. Claudia said she was thankful she got such good grades this year (I know, what a suck-up). When it got to my turn, I was thinking about my mum and how she doesn’t know I moved to California, and I started crying. I think it made Diane warm to me somewhat or think I’m less of a heartless minx in any case. Though I don’t think she completely believes that Jesse broke off his engagement before he ever met me – somewhere deep down, she still reckons I’m to blame. But Jesse stands up to her if she ever drops hints, so it’s fine.
Some good/bad news on the Koi carp front: it turns out that Monica and Lily are going to become parents. I could have sworn the man in the shop said they were both girls. Sam’s not happy but Alice says it’s fine – they’ll just get a bigger pond.
Lots of love,
Lily xxx
21 December
From: Maggie
To: Lily
Hi Lil,
Oh dear – that’s unfortunate about the fish. But maybe it will be good practice for Alice and Sam in case they have kids. Or they could set up a Koi carp breeding business – it could be a good sideline?
I’m already home for Christmas, just got back to Bromley an hour ago. I had a very, very stressful journey. Just before I got on the train home, the landlord texted me to tell me not to use Fran’s electric toilet, because it’s broken again, and according to his dodgy handyman, this time IT COULD KILL US. Don’t ask me why he didn’t text Fran: he only communicates through me, because he knows I’m a pushover.
So I spent the whole journey home on a packed train with no reception, trying to call and text Fran – first to warn her, and then to check if she was alive. It isn’t like her not to answer, and I was h
aving visions of her dead on the bathroom floor. Death by toilet! I was about to call the fire brigade when finally she texted me back – she got drunk at her work Christmas party and stayed over with one of her colleagues.
Now I’m completely worn out and I’m also worried that the dodgy handyman is going to break into our flat over the Christmas holidays. Maybe the whole toilet thing was a ruse to keep us away? But there’s nothing I can do for now. Instead I am going to go downstairs and have a gin and tonic with Mum and Dad although it’s only five o’clock, and later we’ll play Cluedo. They know how to live.
By the way, I didn’t mean what I said about Leo and me being in a long-distance relationship. I was hung-over and gloomy when I wrote that. But you were right about the scrapbook, it was nuts. I got him a scarf instead.
Mxx
25 December
To: Maggie
From: Lily
Happy Christmas! I’m at Jesse and Sam’s grandparents’ place in Salt Lake City. There are going to be twenty of us for Christmas dinner; every time I turn around, I meet a new cousin and they’re all seven feet tall. I’m glad Alice is here or I’d be a little overwhelmed. They’re all very friendly, though.
And I didn’t tell you this earlier, but Sam paid for my flight here as I was broke after buying my car. I’ve offered to pay him back, but he just said I was family now and to call it a Christmas present. I couldn’t believe it. I feel even worse about Monica and Lily now and I’ve decided I’m going to adopt at least one of their kids (Monica and Lily’s, I mean, not Sam and Alice’s).
Speaking of presents, I’m not sure you should take my advice, to be honest. I feel bad because I bought Jesse an Oxfam goat – I thought he would prefer that kind of present – and he bought me a beautiful pair of silver earrings. But he says he loves the goat and at least I didn’t give him a Koi carp.
Girls on Tour Page 16