by T. K. Leigh
Gorgeous Chaos
T.K. Leigh
CONTENTS
Title Page
Books by T.K. Leigh
Dedication
A Note From The Author
Chapter One - Thank You, Mama
Chapter Two - The Death Of Me
Chapter Three - Letting Him In
Chapter Four - Starting Now
Chapter Five - Solitude
Chapter Six - Our Place
Chapter Seven - Planning
Chapter Eight - Fix Or Ruin
Chapter Nine - Just A Coincidence
Chapter Ten - Him
Chapter Eleven - Enough
Chapter Twelve - Make Up
Chapter Thirteen - What Happens In Vegas...
Chapter Fourteen - No Choice
Chapter Fifteen - Truth And Consequences
Chapter Sixteen - Slipping Away
Chapter Seventeen - Come Back To Me
Chapter Eighteen - Constant
Chapter Nineteen - Opening Up
Chapter Twenty - The Point Of No Return
Chapter Twenty-One - Because of Olivia
Chapter Twenty-Two - Home
Chapter Twenty-Three - More Secrets
Chapter Twenty-Four - Trust
Chapter Twenty-Five - Guilt
Chapter Twenty-Six - Gone
Chapter Twenty-Seven - A Better Place
Chapter Twenty-Eight - For Melanie
Chapter Twenty-Nine - Wait for You
Chapter Thirty - Come Clean
Chapter Thirty-One - Belong Together
Chapter Thirty-Two - Recollection
Chapter Thirty-Three - Premonition
Chapter Thirty-Four - Chaos
Chapter Thirty-Five - Understanding
Chapter Thirty-Six - Betrayal
Chapter Thirty-Seven - Grief
Chapter Thirty-Eight - Always
Chapter Thirty-Nine - Complete
Chapter Forty - A New Beginning
Chapter Forty-One - Surprise
Chapter Forty-Two - Lovely
Prologue
Playlist
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Heart of Light Excerpt
Other Books by T.K. Leigh
The Beautiful Mess Series
A Beautiful Mess
A Tragic Wreck
Gorgeous Chaos
Heart of Light
Coming November 2014
To Stan… My Always and Forever.
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Gorgeous Chaos is the third and final installment in my Beautiful Mess series. As with the first two books of the series, this book contains explicit sexual situations and strong language. In addition, there will be several scenes that contain graphic violence. I have spent hours making sure that I painted some of the violent situations that these characters face in the book in a certain light without sacrificing the integrity of the story, and I hope that I was able to reach a respectful balance. In particular, there are two scenes in which rape is alluded to, but not described in any detail at all, as I refuse to glorify a horrific crime in that manner. That being said, if you are particularly sensitive to arguably violent situations, proceed with caution.
Approximately every two minutes, another woman is sexually assaulted in this country. If you have been a victim, there are resources available to you so that you do not have to go through the healing and recovery process alone. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is one of the leading services out there today. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always call them at 1.800.656.HOPE or find them online at www.rainn.org.
As always, thank you for your loyalty and for supporting me.
CHAPTER ONE
THANK YOU, MAMA
SUN FILTERED INTO THE elegant master bedroom, waking up Sarah Olivia Adler on a bright Saturday in March. She stretched, a smile spreading across her face as she recalled the events of the previous night.
Alexander loved her, and she loved him. She was able to say those three words that had scared her most of her life. Her heart felt as if it would explode when the image flashed through her mind of Alexander dropping down on one knee, asking her to be his wife. It all made perfect sense. The dream she had all those months ago in Newport that scared her to death, causing her to flee, was suddenly clear. She firmly believed that her mama was sending her a message, from wherever she was, with that dream. Once Alexander sang that song, the song Olivia remembered so well from her childhood, the song her mama was singing in her dream as she danced with the green-eyed boy, she knew it was meant to be. She knew it was useless to fight it anymore.
“Thank you, Mama,” she whispered, glancing at the large diamond on her ring finger. Turning over, she reached her arm across the mattress, surprised when all she felt was the cold of the bed. Alexander wasn’t there.
She looked at the clock on the nightstand and sat straight up. It was almost noon! Olivia couldn’t remember the last time she had slept the entire night and woken up so late. She grabbed Alexander’s white suit shirt that he had been wearing the night before and threw it on, remembering the first weekend she stayed with him and how turned on he got when she walked around wearing his clothes. She barely recognized the girl she was all those months ago, and she knew that she had Alexander to thank for finally breaking down her walls.
After pulling her wavy brown hair into a messy bun, she made her way downstairs, searching for her fiancé. An infectious smile crossed her face when she spotted him sitting at the breakfast bar, drinking his coffee and reading the newspaper. She sauntered up to him and kissed him full on the lips as he slinked his arm around her slender waist.
Alexander closed his eyes and moaned, pulling her against his body, and slipped his hand under the shirt she wore. “I love the feel of your skin, Olivia,” he said quietly.
Her eyes became aglow at his affectionate words and she curved toward him, her lips poised on his. “And I love it when you feel my skin, Alexander,” she replied, kissing him once more.
“You look hot,” he commented, his voice raspy and sexy. “I like you in my clothes. Coffee?” He ran a finger up and down Olivia’s spine, causing her to shiver before pulling back.
“I can get it. You sit,” she replied, giving him a quick kiss on his neck and walking around the kitchen island. She grabbed a mug and made herself a cup of coffee before returning to the breakfast bar and sitting next to him.
“So, there are a few things we should probably discuss.” His voice was firm as he turned to her with an austere expression on his face.
“What’s that?” Olivia asked, raising her coffee mug to her lips.
“Have you spoken to my sister?” He lifted his eyebrows, already knowing what her response would most likely be.
She hid her eyes from him, recalling how she had spent the past several days since running out on Alexander after he declared his love for her. “No, I’m sorry. I just kind of ignored life this week.”
He exhaled loudly. “I figured as much.” He took a sip of coffee. When he put his mug down, a stern look crossed his face, his vibrant green eyes intense.
Crap, Olivia thought to herself.
“Well, Simon was released from prison yesterday.”
“So, let me guess,” she said loudly, standing up from her barstool. “Now you’re going to assign an army to watch me? Is that what this is about, Alex?” She glared at him, her hands on her hips in irritation.
“Hey. Relax,” he responded, caressing her arm. “That’s not what this is about at all.” His eyes pleaded with her not to be upset.
She stared at him for several long moments before a small smile crossed her expression. How could she stay mad at that adorable face? Her aggravation w
aning, she sat back down and waited for him to continue.
He raised his hand and pushed an errant curl that had fallen out of her bun behind her ear, gently brushing her forehead where her scar was. “I know I can be overbearing at times…”
“Ya’ think?” Olivia interrupted with a sarcastic tone.
“Don’t get fresh with me,” he growled into her ear. “Or I’ll teach that mouth of yours a lesson.”
His words sent a primal desire through her body. All she could do was stare at him with her mouth open, thinking how much she wanted him to teach her a lesson. Moisture pooled between her legs at the thought.
“I’m just trying to keep you safe, Olivia. That’s all,” he said, immediately switching from the passionate lover to the concerned fiancé. “I protect the people I care about who are important to me. That’s why I need to be in control…to keep everyone close to me safe. You’re the most important person in my life.” Grabbing her chin, he forced her to look him in the eyes to see the truth in his words. “So if I’m overbearing at times, I apologize. I just want to make sure that nothing bad happens to you.”
“I’m sorry,” she responded, her voice husky. She wondered if Alexander would always have that effect on her. She loved how caring and compassionate he was. Guilt spread through her conscience for jumping down his throat about protecting her when all he was trying to do was keep her safe from someone who had a history of attacking her. She knew he had issues with control. She guessed it went back to his childhood when he lost his friend all those years ago. He had admitted how helpless he felt after her death.
“So, back to Simon.” He cleared his throat, releasing his grasp on Olivia’s chin. She took a sip of her coffee and listened. “Like I said, he’s out of prison. You probably have a notice sitting in your mailbox about all of this. Anyway, the protective order has been lifted. He is free to contact you if he wants.”
Olivia glanced at Alexander, his face weary.
“Do you understand what that means, love?”
“It’s just a piece of paper anyway, Alexander. Even if it hadn’t been lifted, it wouldn’t change anything. If he really wanted to see me, that protective order wasn’t going to stop him,” she said, withholding from him that Simon had already violated the protective order not even a week after he was arrested for attacking her back in August.
“You’re absolutely right. But I just wanted to warn you to be careful. We know this Mark Kiddish, or Donovan O’Laughlin, paid Simon’s attorney fees, but we have no idea if there’s more to the connection than that. We still don’t know what Kiddish could possibly want from you,” he lied.
“Should I be worried?” Olivia stared into his eyes, searching for the truth.
He debated telling her everything. He wanted to, but her father’s warning lay heavy on his heart…and his mind. What if Jack was right? What if her lack of memory was the only thing that had kept her alive those past twenty-plus years? “Let me worry about Simon. You just worry about planning a wedding.” He winked.
“Holy shit! I totally forgot about that.”
Alexander looked at her, aghast.
“Don’t give me that look. I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that I’m getting married!” She bounced up and down on her barstool, excitement oozing from her infectious grin.
Alexander couldn’t help but smile at her in return. “I can’t wait until you have my last name, Olivia,” he said softly, grabbing her hand and gently kissing her knuckles.
She was instantly reminded of the night that she met him. An awareness of complete euphoria washed over her from Alexander’s sensual words and presence, and she truly believed that running into him outside her office building was the best thing to ever happen to her.
Alexander’s cell phone started to ring, breaking their moment. He glanced down at the caller ID. “Sorry, love. It’s my mom. I should probably tell her that I’m getting married, if she doesn’t already know.” He slid off the barstool and answered the phone. “Good morning, Ma.”
“Is it true?” Colleen Burnham asked excitedly. “I was watching the news this morning and they’re reporting that you’re rumored to be engaged, darling.”
Alexander laughed. “Yes, Ma. I asked Olivia to marry me last night.”
She squealed out in joy. “Oh, Alex. I’m so happy for you. Gosh, after all these years. Who would have thought? Is she there? Can I speak with her?”
“Mom…”
“Alex. Don’t worry. I won’t say anything, I promise. But you need to before it’s too late and you lose her again,” she scolded before softening her voice. “I just want to talk to her about the wedding…girl stuff.”
“Fine.” Alexander handed the phone to Olivia. “It’s my mom. She wants to speak with you.”
Olivia sent him a questioning look.
Don’t worry, he mouthed.
She smiled, taking the phone. “Mrs. Burnham?”
“Good morning, Olivia, dear. And please, call me Colleen.”
“Sorry. Colleen.”
“I just wanted to offer you my congratulations on your engagement, darling.”
“Thank you. It still hasn’t really sunk in.”
“I’m sure it will take a bit. Anyway, I wanted to invite you and Alex over to the house this evening for a little family get together. The reason I’m asking you is because he’ll shoot me down right away. He likes to keep you for himself. Selfish bastard.”
Olivia laughed. That sounded like Alexander.
“You’re going to become a member of our family,” Colleen continued. “And I’d like to introduce you to everyone.”
“I’d love to, Colleen. That sounds wonderful.” Olivia couldn’t believe the words that came out of her mouth. Just a week ago, she was scared to meet Alexander’s mother. Now, she was agreeing to a family gathering.
Alexander looked at Olivia, raising his eyebrows in an inquisitive manner. Family dinner at your mom’s, she mouthed. He held out his hand for the phone. She responded by raising her finger, indicating that he would have to hold on.
“I’m looking forward to seeing you and the rock I heard about on television this morning.”
Olivia held her hand in front of her and admired her new piece of jewelry. “Your son does have excellent taste.”
“I taught him well. Please put Alex back on and I’ll see you this evening.”
“I look forward to it,” she replied before returning the phone to Alexander.
“Mother, what do you think you’re doing?” he seethed, his teeth clenched.
“Oh, nothing, dear. Just having a little family get together this evening at the house. Don’t worry. Mrs. Carlson is helping me prepare it and rid it of anything ‘Olivia-related’.”
Alexander sighed, worried that being back in Mystic could trigger memories about her past…a past that could kill her. “I’m not going to win this fight with you, am I?”
“Not a chance. See you tonight,” Colleen said before hanging up.
Alexander shook his head in defeat, turning to face Olivia. “Well, you better pack a bag, love. We’re heading to Connecticut for the evening.”
She gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize your mother lived in Connecticut! I would have spoken with you first if I had known. She made it sound as if she was close by, or maybe I just assumed she was.”
Alexander laughed. “She can be a bit deceiving at times. I think that’s where I get it from.”
CHAPTER TWO
THE DEATH OF ME
THE AIR WAS THICK with tension as Alexander drove with Olivia from Boston toward Connecticut that afternoon. Glancing at the man she was going to marry, Olivia couldn’t help but notice his rigid and taut stature, as if he was uptight about the party that evening. “I’m looking forward to seeing where you grew up,” she said, breaking the strained silence.
“Are you sure that you’re okay with this? We can go back if you want to.” Alexander met her eyes briefly, a nervous expression p
ermanently drawn on his face at the thought of being back in his childhood home with Olivia.
She reached across the car and grabbed his hand. “I’m fine with it,” she reassured him. “Are you going to be okay being there? I know it’s difficult for you…” She trailed off, looking out the window at the rolling green hills. She should have known that it would be painful for him to be in a place where he would be surrounded by constant reminders of the friend he lost when he was just a young child.
“It’s okay. I’m fine with it. Ever since I met you, it’s been much easier for me to deal with the memories.” He squeezed her hand and gave her a comforting look before returning his eyes to the road.
Over the last several months, he had been able to confront his memories but, in turn, was constantly forced to hide information from the girl sitting next to him. He had to remind himself that it was necessary to keep those secrets from her. It was the only way he could protect his Olivia.
Before long, he maneuvered his Maserati off the freeway and onto the main road through Mystic. Olivia took in her surroundings as they made their way toward the downtown area, driving past the train station. She furrowed her brow.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked with a hint of apprehension upon noticing her expression.
“This place looks familiar,” she replied as they drove over the drawbridge, passing Alexander’s favorite ice cream shop.
“It’s a fairly popular place in Connecticut and New England, really. There’s a lot of maritime history here. In fact, at one time, the house I grew up in belonged to a sea captain. I was obsessed with boats and ships when I was younger. Maybe that’s why I wanted to go into the Navy so badly.”
“No. I don’t ever remember visiting here,” she said quietly, her eyes still glued to all the old buildings. “But it just seems familiar.” Olivia stared as they drove down Main Street, searching her brain for a memory that wouldn’t come.