by T. K. Leigh
“It appears she has returned to her old house then?”
That was news to Donovan. He hadn’t done any follow up just yet. But he couldn’t know that, unless… “Yes. She has,” he responded, not wanting to sound incompetent.
“But it also appears Burnham still has eyes on her.”
“We’re working on that as we speak, sir.”
Shit. Where was Simon? He was supposed to be buddying up to Olivia now.
“Well, work faster!” The line went dead.
~~~~~~~~~~
AFTER WALKING AIMLESSLY AROUND the city, Olivia returned to her old home on Commonwealth Avenue. It all looked just as she had left it. Everything was still there except for most of her clothes and, of course, Nepenthe.
Just as she began to search her place for any remnants of a liquor bottle, her cell phone buzzed with a text.
Cam: Libby, it’s Cam. I’m on an 8 PM flight out tonight. I’ll be landing at Logan at 10:48.
Thank God, she thought. She needed him at that moment. He had always been honest with her, and that was what she craved right now.
Olivia: What airline? I’ll come and pick you up.
Cam: Don’t worry about it. I’ll come to you. If I know you, and I do, the last thing you should be doing right now is driving. Looking forward to seeing you. Hang tight for me. Please.
For the first time all day, Olivia smiled as she texted him back with her address. Cam really did know her pretty well. She felt bad for not rushing to Kiera or Mo, but they wouldn’t understand. They would just see this as another excuse to push Alexander away, but that wasn’t the case anymore. She didn’t want to push him away. She wanted nothing more than to marry him. Deep down, she wished that she had never found out who he really was. The green-eyed boy. Her childhood friend. The boy who saved her.
It all became so clear. She couldn't believe that she didn't see it earlier. That was why he felt like he had to constantly protect her. He thought he had failed her all those years ago. But Olivia still had plenty of unanswered questions, and she knew that the only person who had all the answers was the one person she did not want to talk to…the one person she didn’t think she could ever look at again without feeling betrayed. Not wanting to think about that anymore, she grabbed the bottle of bourbon out of her cabinet, thankful that she hadn’t thrown out her liquor during the move, and poured herself a glass.
By eleven that evening, she was well on her way to being rather drunk, wanting to numb everything. All she could think about was Alexander and how he had lied to her. She couldn’t stop crying when she flashed back to the look on his face when he realized that he had been caught in the lie. It tore her apart that he had kept everything a secret from her since August. Why didn’t he just tell her when he figured it out?
He had comforted her when she woke up screaming and crying nearly every night after seeing her parents die in the car crash. He had so many opportunities to tell her what really happened, but he didn’t. He stayed silent, and that hurt more than anything.
She thought she felt pain when she walked out on him all those months ago and fled to Florida, and then the even more intense heartache when she thought he was going to marry Chelsea. But this new hurt was even worse. She didn’t know how, or even if, she would ever survive the new wound that Alexander had caused her heart. She didn't know who she was anymore. Part of her guessed that she never really did.
Olivia was almost passed out from all the alcohol she had consumed when her doorbell rang. She immediately remembered that Cam said he was flying in to be with her. The guilt she felt for ripping him from his life washed over her as she stumbled from her couch.
She pulled back the door and couldn’t keep her emotions in when she saw Cam standing there, concern plastered on his face. He wrapped his arms around her and she cried, her entire body shaking.
“Hey. It’s going to be okay, Libby. I promise. We’ll get you through this. You’re stronger than this.”
Olivia glanced over his shoulder and sobbed even harder, eyeing the tall silhouette across the street who ruined everything. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to get through this one, Cam.”
~~~~~~~~~~
ALEXANDER SAT IN THE SUV next to Martin all evening, keeping an eye on Olivia’s house. He messed up. He knew it. His sister had warned him that something like this would happen. If he could turn back the clock, he would, if only to tell Olivia the truth from the beginning. The moment he found out, he should have told her. It was selfish of him to keep her past from her.
“Sir, it appears that Miss Adler has a visitor. Would you like me to intercept?”
Alexander snapped out of his daydream and re-focused his eyes on Olivia’s front door. Cam. Of course, Alexander thought. She would call him.
He wanted to walk up to him and ask what the fuck he was doing there. He mustered enough courage to open the passenger side door with the intention of doing just that when he saw Olivia appear in the doorway.
He stood frozen in place when he saw how broken she looked, and he did that to her. He made her feel like that. He wanted to scream when he saw Cam drop his bags and wrap his arms around her, soothing her tears. That’s supposed to be my job.
Alexander couldn’t move, even though he knew he should. She shouldn’t see that he was out there, watching her. His brain tried to tell his legs to move and get back in the SUV, but they wouldn’t listen. He stood on the sidewalk, a deer in the headlights, when Olivia’s eyes met his.
I’m sorry, he mouthed to her.
She shook her head and began to cry even harder before Cam helped her into the house.
Alexander's mind began to race. It had only been a few hours since she ran out on him, and she was already inviting another man into her home. And not just any man. A man she had been intimate with in the past. He started to feel Olivia slowly slipping through his fingertips and all he could see was red.
~~~~~~~~~~
“YOU’RE DRUNK, AREN’T YOU?” Cam asked after helping Olivia back inside her house.
“I couldn’t help it, Cam. I needed to dull the pain. I just didn’t want to feel anymore. I’m done feeling.”
He followed Olivia into her living room, watching as she made her way toward a large collection of liquor bottles on the kitchen island, drinking from one.
“You should probably sleep it off, Libby. We can talk tomorrow about what’s going on. Sleep is the best medicine for you right now, not that bottle.”
“I can’t sleep, Cam,” she sobbed. “All I’ll see when I close my eyes are his eyes staring back at me, betraying me, lying to me.”
Cam didn’t know what happened, but he guessed it had something to do with Alexander. “I know it hurts right now,” he said, his tone soothing as he rubbed her back. “But you need to sleep.” He looked down on her. “Where is your bedroom?”
Olivia glanced up the stairs. “Up there.” She became dizzy from the sudden movement of her head and fell to the ground.
“Whoa. Easy there, sweetheart.” He wrapped his arms around her, steadying her. “I’ll help you upstairs. You need to lie down.”
She exhaled loudly. “Fine. You’re the expert,” she slurred.
“Thank you,” Cam replied quietly. Scooping her into his arms, he carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom. He placed her feet carefully on the ground before pulling back the covers and helping her into bed. Once she looked comfortable, he sat down next to her, pushing the hair out of her eyes, trying to calm her down.
When he was sure that her tears were done, he stood up. “Get some sleep, Libby. I’ll be downstairs on the couch if you need me.”
Olivia’s hand shot out, grabbing his wrist. “Don’t go. Please, stay. With me. I don’t want to be alone when the nightmares come.” Her eyes met his and he could see the fear in them.
Reluctantly, he agreed. He knew, deep down, that it was a bad idea to get into bed beside her, but she looked so scared and he wanted to help her any way he could. He peele
d out of his clothes, leaving on his t-shirt and boxers, and crawled in next to her.
“Cam?” Olivia asked several minutes later as they both lay there in the dark.
“Yes, Libby?”
“I’m sorry I called you. I didn’t know who else to turn to.” She rolled over to face him.
Cam had been dreaming of the day that he would finally be able to fall asleep next to her again, but he didn’t expect it to be like this. She was hurting, and he refused to take advantage of her vulnerability like he felt he did before. She appeared so much worse than she did that night all those months ago. This was something so much bigger.
“Hush, Libby,” he said, reaching his hand out and caressing her arm. “I’m glad you called me. Now, get some sleep.” He planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and she closed her eyes.
“Cam?”
“Yes?”
“Can you hold me, please? I just need to know that I’m not alone and this is the only way I know.”
He was hesitant, but the pain in her voice was too intense for him to deny her that simple act. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his body, savoring the smell of her hair as he listened to her gentle breathing.
~~~~~~~~~~
“SIMON, WHAT THE FUCK happened?!” Donovan shouted, glaring at him as he sat in his office late Tuesday night. “She was supposed to feel so goddamn comfortable with you that she would run into your arms after having her world ripped apart! Instead, she called some goddamn therapist she met in Florida?! What the fuck?!” He was pissed. Simon had assured him that Olivia was past everything that had happened between them. The entire plan rested on Simon being able to get that information. And that depended on him being there when she needed him most so she felt comfortable with him.
“I know, man. I’m sorry. I thought I had her eating out of the palm of my hand. I really did. I don’t know how this happened.”
“FUCK!” Donovan shouted at Simon, punching the wall of his office. He took several deep breaths.
“I have an idea that might fix this,” Simon said quietly, hoping to calm down the intimidating man pacing in front of him.
“I think I’ve listened to enough of your shitty ideas,” Donovan growled.
“Just hear me out. I’ve been thinking about this one lately, and I really think it might work. The problem is she’s never run into my arms when she’s been scared.”
Donovan was hesitant to trust Simon’s idea, but what did he have to lose? The more he thought about it, the better the idea sounded. Of course, running into Simon’s arms would be just one part of the plan. A sly smile crossed his face as he formulated the end-game in his head. Finally, Donovan thought.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
COME BACK TO ME
“FEEL BETTER NOW?” CAM asked Olivia the following morning, handing her a cup of coffee and some water. He hated to admit it, but he had never been as happy as he was the night before, holding Olivia in his arms all night long. She woke up several times, screaming. It concerned him that she was still having those dreams. He wasn’t sure that she had truly made any substantial progress over the past several months. He had a feeling she wasn’t being entirely truthful with her therapist. He vowed to get to the bottom of everything so he could help her get back to where she needed to be, even if that place was in another man’s arms.
“Much better. Thank you.” Olivia took a sip of her coffee, savoring the warm liquid as it traveled through her body.
“So…what’s going on, Libby?”
She eyed Cam suspiciously. “I wanted you to come here as a friend. Not as a therapist, okay?”
“I understand, and I’m here as a friend who just happens to be a therapist, so I may have a little more insight than, say, Kiera.”
Olivia sighed. “I’m not ready to talk about it quite yet, Cam. It hurts too much right now.” She looked away, trying to hide the tears that had re-formed in her eyes at the thought of the months of lies that she had endured because of Alexander.
He reached across the kitchen table and grabbed her hand. “You need to talk about it eventually. You know that, right?” he asked quietly.
She turned her head back toward him, meeting his eyes…his kind silver eyes that never lied to her. “I know.”
Throughout the rest of the day, Cam tried to get Olivia to talk about what was going on. And all day, she refused, the pain of Alexander’s lies and secrets all too fresh in her memory.
The more she thought about how much he kept from her, the more it hurt. Every time she thought about what Adele had said to her and the look on Alexander’s face, she broke down. Who else was keeping secrets from her? She had no idea who she was. Alexander was the green-eyed boy in her dreams. He had known for so long, but he never said anything.
“I’m glad you’re here, Cam,” she said later that afternoon.
He smiled at her, putting his arm around her as they lounged on the couch, watching some vampire show that she seemed to like. “I’m glad I’m here, too. But, at some point, we need to talk.”
She stared ahead, her expression blank. “I think there’s something I need to do tomorrow night,” she said flatly.
“What’s that?” He turned his head to look at her. She seemed like an entirely different person than she was that day at the bar just a few weeks ago.
“I need to go to Open Mic. I think Alexander will be there and maybe I’ll be able to move on and begin to talk about this if I go. It always seems to help…singing, that is.” She turned her head, meeting Cam’s eyes, tears trickling down her cheeks.
“If that’s what you think you need so that you can begin to heal, then let's do that.”
~~~~~~~~~~
WHEN OLIVIA EMERGED FROM her house Thursday evening, she was surprised to see her Audi sitting out front. She had left it over at Alexander’s when she ran out on him and never asked for him to return it, but she was glad he did.
She walked down her front steps toward her car and scrunched her eyebrows in confusion, wondering how she would get in without her keys.
“What’s wrong?” Cam asked, noticing her hesitation.
“Nothing. It’s just…I ran out on Alexander and all my stuff is still over there, including the keys to my car.” Olivia glanced down at the driver’s side door and noticed that there was a numbered keypad by the lock that hadn’t been there before. Alexander had a keyless entry installed on it. “Smug bastard,” she said under her breath before punching the code that he must have used…the date of her supposed death. The door unlocked. She found the key fob in the center console and the car started immediately.
“Come on! Get in!” Olivia yelled to Cam as he stood on the sidewalk, staring at the car suspiciously.
“Are you sure he didn't plant a bomb or anything?” he joked.
“Take a risk, okay?” she responded dryly. Cam got in the car and Olivia pulled into Boston traffic, ignoring the dark SUV that was following them from her house all the way to Davis Square.
~~~~~~~~~~
“LIBBY!” KIERA SHOUTED AFTER Olivia wrote her name down on the sign-up sheet for Open Mic. “What the fuck is going on? Alexander has been blowing up my phone these past few days. Mo’s, too!” She spotted Cam at Olivia’s side, her expression turning severe. “What the fuck is he doing here?” she sneered. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Cam said, a grin on his face before facing the olive-toned man standing at Kiera’s side. “I’m Cam.” He held out his hand in greeting.
“Mo, or Jack. Take your pick. Nice to finally put a face to the name.”
“Likewise.”
Mo returned his attention to Olivia, a look of concern crossing his face. “What’s going on?”
Olivia took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it just yet. I don’t think I can. So please, be the friends I know that you are and give me time to process everything I’ve learned the past few days.”
Mo eyed her suspiciously. “Are you sure you’re okay? I know he’
s bigger than I am but, so help me, if Alexander hurt you, I’ll do my best to kick his ass.”
She smiled for probably the first time in days. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I would never ask you to do that.”
Mo grabbed two more chairs and Olivia and Cam joined their table.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Kiera asked after they finally flagged down a server and placed their drink order.
“Yeah.”
“What song are you going to do?” Mo asked.
“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” she spat.
Kiera looked at her friend. “Libby, don’t do anything that you’re going to regret later.” She nodded her head toward where Alexander sat at the bar, a drink in his hand, keeping his eyes trained on Olivia.
“I’m not saying I won’t regret it later, but I need him to understand how much his actions have fucked with my head.”
“What did he do?” Mo asked, his voice rising in anger as the current performer finished his song. Olivia turned her eyes back toward the stage, unable to answer Mo’s question just yet.
“Alright,” the M.C. said into the microphone. “Next up, ladies and gentleman, is an old fan favorite. Miss Olivia Adler! Or, I guess, the soon to be Mrs. Alexander Burnham. Get your butt up here.”
Olivia’s eyes went wide at the introduction, almost unable to get up from her seat.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Cam whispered.
She took a deep breath. “No. I have to.” She slowly walked up to the stage and sat down at the baby grand piano, adjusting the chair and microphone stand.