by Hill Harper
No, man, I’m not going to play “angry mentor” and scold you. You’re a grown-ass man who is perfectly capable of making his own choices. I don’t believe in punishment; people always punish themselves. But I do believe in imposing responsibility. That’s why I expect you to start putting aside some of your commissary money to pay me back for those two books on video game design I bought and sent to you. I found out they ended up in this prison library because you lost privileges to keep them.
Like I already explained, man, it’s not what you do that gets under my skin and fucks me up, it’s your lack of trust in me and inability to confide in me about the troubles you’re having.
SECOND CHANCE
Let’s move on. You probably know this: You were convicted for a second-degree felony, because the amount of stuff found on you was over six grams but under twenty-five (it’s different in every state, but that’s the way it goes where you were arrested). People serving time for a second-degree felony can only apply for parole every six months after they finish the equivalent of a minimum sentence (which was five years in your case). So you’ll be applying again almost immediately, since you need to start the process about six months in advance. Since you’re restarting now, the more positive stuff you’ve begun the better, right? Here’s what I think you should do:
Keep up the training: Keep up that training in auto technology. If you finish that course and there’s time, sign up for a second skill: plumbing, construction, drywalling, machining—even office technologies. I didn’t even know they had that last one until I found it out from the warden. Apparently, it involves some computer training—Word, Excel, PowerPoint. It ain’t programming or video game design, but that’s okay. At least if you took that class, it would give you a chance to get your hands on a real computer, reacquaint yourself with it. . . . And from what I understand, PowerPoint is a very basic design program. You could start with creating some simple designs and go from there. And read. Read. Read. Read!
Develop your social communications: Try to keep in contact with R. J., and improve your communication with me and anyone else who can/will support you at your next hearing.
Keep your blueprint going: You know this already, but you’ve got to constantly revise your blueprint as you acquire new skills, new research, and new connections. I guess the reason you didn’t submit one of your blueprint versions to the parole board was because you felt it was too personal, but maybe you should have.
Take the financial literacy course in your prison: This course is mostly about how to figure out a budget. And I know you say you’re “no good at math,” but that’s no reason not to take a math-based course that could have real-world applications for you when you get out. Keep in mind, in order to raise R. J., you will need to know how to manage your money so you can buy groceries, pay bills, and more.
Take the anger management course: I didn’t know you were exploding all over the place at hacks and other prisoners, man. I didn’t know that your temper had become hair-trigger. Listen. It makes sense. You’re on the verge of a new life, you’ve been dealing with all my challenges, you’ve reconnected with your son and even dreamed about your father.
Things get tense for everybody from time to time. However, probably more than anything else except drug and alcohol use, you’re going to need to keep that in check when you get on the outside. You’ll be trying to win back trust from certain people, and that won’t help. The parole board knows this, and they’re going to take your ability to control negative emotions into account. So take that little course, would you? The warden said it only lasts four and a half weeks.
Start going to Narcotics Anonymous: I’m not saying you’re doing drugs. But you’re in there on a drug charge. Parole boards need tangible proof, not just a promise. Whether you need to go to NA or not, show ’em that you’re willing—willing to go the extra mile. NA teaches good techniques for how to remain conscious of our choices, things that apply to other aspects of your life. Remember, we are on a lifelong learning journey! And we can expose ourselves and learn new things everywhere. They may even make NA one of the conditions of your parole, so beat them to it and demonstrate your willingness.
And now, just to release some of your attitude about the fact that I just gave you a bunch of assignments, count to three, and repeat after me:
“You fucking suck, Hill! This is bullshit! But I’m gonna do it.”
Feel better?
TALKING LIKE THEM
You know, Brotha, all the research about parole I looked into made the point that parole is a privilege rather than a right. I’m not sure how I feel about that point of view, but at least it clues me in to the mentality of those who’ll be judging you once again. And that’s something we can’t change, whether we like it or not.
Am I putting this first parole denial all on your shoulders? No. A good deal of it has to do with the personality of the people who were on that parole board, even the mood each of them was in that day. I’ve already mentioned some of the things you can do to make them react differently the second time around, but there’s more. This may sound stupid, but in many ways, all they want you to do is act and talk like them. That even holds true for future job interviews, etc.
I’m not only talking about your clothes or your hair or teeth at that hearing—although they count, too. Unfortunately, in the world we live in, impressions are used to determine too many things. It’s superficial, isn’t it, that the way a guy looks can determine his fate?
You know what’s more important than that in creating a first impression? The way a guy acts. Our bodies have a kind of language that we unthinkingly manipulate to show off our background, our mood, even our moral sense. If you strutted into that parole board with the jail walk you learned to ensure your survival on the street or in prison, they’d react to it. They’d be seeing gestures and rhythms of movement they associate with their stereotypical ideas of a “gangsta.” We obviously don’t want that, do we?
And you know what’s even more important than grooming or how you move? Speech, language! Throughout my life, I’ve noticed what a strong (in so many ways false, but yet also real) marker it is for social status, intelligence, economic class, identity, and treatment by others. I never mentioned it, but it’s one of the reasons I’ve been urging you to read, read, read! The more books you read, the more you get into the habit of thinking the kinds of thoughts people who write have. And your language is always considered a reflection of the thoughts running through your brain.
I’ll prove it. There was a skinny little personal assistant, a PA, to one of the actors on my old show who’d grown up dirt poor on the streets of East L.A. His father worked in a factory. He himself wore a kind of hip-hop look. Hadn’t even finished high school. But during every free moment he had on set, he never took his nose out of a book. He was reading the classics—Shakespeare, Melville, Dickens, you name it.
I used to like to converse with the dude because he knew so much and understood so much. But as I did, I always chuckled a bit to myself. He’d spent so much time living in great literature that even when he spoke spontaneously his speech sounded like literary speech, almost like a book.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t see anything wrong with that, and I admired the guy. And he wasn’t putting on an act. Even though he’d never gone to “formal school,” he was more intelligent and learned than most people I went to Harvard with. And the amazing thing is, people treated him that way. They assumed he went to a top university. He was repeatedly offered different job opportunities and invited to events and gallery openings because he was not only a nice person, he was interesting to speak with because he educated himself and carried himself accordingly. Oftentimes perception creates our reality.
I wanted to tell you about that because this little PA in his thug threads impressed everybody and won their trust immediately just because of his voice. They called him “Li’l Professor.”
He now is a successful film, TV, and music video producer.
The voice is a powerful instrument, Brotha. And parole panels as well as employers want you to sound like them, like somebody who never knew the streets or went to jail. That’s just how it is.
BRILLIANT MISTAKES
Here’s what you need to understand about being turned down by the parole board the first time: Mistakes will be made, trial and error will happen, forging a new path is likely to result in hitting several dead ends before success is met. Don’t let that get you down! Planning provides a framework for success, not a direct line. Shit happens, obstacles always come, and we need to be aware (even anticipate) that setbacks will occur. And there’s often a pretty valuable “tortoise vs. hare prize” for a guy who makes all of his mistakes early on.
I have another quantification exercise for you to add to your activities: recording progress in your daily journal. You can even make your quantifying calendar part of this one. Just evaluate your performance in a paragraph or list every day, and give that day a score 1 to 10 as to how effective it was in getting you closer to your goals. No need to show your journal to me. You might enjoy adding very personal stuff, as well. Go ahead; take a peek into your own brain. You might be surprised at what you see!
Mistakes will be made, trial and error will happen, forging a new path is likely to result in hitting several dead ends before success is met.
Tracking behaviors is a part of this process; it’s the technical side of the conversation with yourself. Information is power. Knowledge is power. The more we know about ourselves, the more powerful we become. And powerful people do not give up. So I don’t want to hear any more bullshit about selling drugs when you get out, all right? Be a winner, not a quitter!
Yours,
Hill
GROWTH MIND-SET
LETTER 35
Unequal Just Us
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
—Maya Angelou
Hey,
Yes, Brotha. All right, I’m not going to argue with you. If you think there’s some loophole for overturning the parole board’s decision, and you want to spend part of what might be your last six months locked up trying to find it, then go for it. I say that not because I think it’s a particularly good idea, but because there are side benefits. It doesn’t hurt anybody to get a bird’s-eye view of our legal system and the people and organizations making efforts to change it. What you can learn about law and the courts can be useful any time in your life. That’s true for everyone, not just those who’ve been locked up. Also, there might be others locked up with you who’d benefit as well. Didn’t you say one of them was studying law? Well, with all that in mind, here’s what I could find out.
CHALLENGING THE JUSTICE SYSTEM
There are various ways of petitioning the legal system while you’re in prison and some very well-meaning organizations that might help. Some of them only operate within their own states, but there are a few with a national focus. When it comes to those, however, seems like all of them are interested in prison injustices of national significance. Though I’m not saying it wouldn’t hurt all of us to learn more about them, they usually don’t take first-time parole denials.
The Equal Justice Initiative is a private, nonprofit organization that offers legal representation to defendants or prisoners who can’t afford their own lawyers but think they’ve been treated unfairly and unjustly by the system.1 They do a lot of activism in Alabama, where they’re located. Good thing, since Alabama’s the only state in this country that doesn’t provide government-funded legal assistance to prisoners on death row!
I started rummaging around on their site and discovered something that shocked me. Our country had three thousand children age seventeen or younger who’ve been sentenced to life without parole, and some of them are as young as thirteen. Two different rulings, one in 2010 and one in 2012, are beginning to change all that, thanks partly to the efforts of the Equal Justice Initiative. That doesn’t mean that a lot of these kids aren’t still being held. They need legal representation to file their cases and offer proof that these laws pertain to them before they can be released. The Equal Justice Initiative is helping with that, too.
Anyway, I called them for you, and they told me I should go see what I could dig up by calling the Center for Constitutional Rights. They’re even more global. It’s amazing how many issues they focus on. It’s almost like they’re trying to take on the entire prison industrial complex.
For one thing, they want to abolish long-term solitary confinement that deprives people of health care, human contact, and even the benefits of sunlight. They’ve filed a lawsuit against the state of California for its use of solitary confinement in Pelican Bay prison. What’s the sense of such punishment anyway? Being stuck inside a windowless cell between twenty-two and twenty-four hours a day, having your food slipped through a slot in the door, being denied telephone calls and visits, being taken outside handcuffed to pace around in a circle to fulfill your “recreation” requirement. How does it help anybody?
Anyway, some good soul there reminded me of the book Jailhouse Lawyer’s Handbook: How to Bring a Federal Lawsuit to Challenge Violations of Your Rights in Prison. I went to their site at JailhouseLaw.org, and what d’ya know? I found the entire book for free download by anybody. My office will print it out. The book is written in a plain, easily understandable style. I’ve never seen anything on the subject with so much valuable information. The best parts are all the appendices at the end. They have several kinds of legal forms you can copy, including a sample complaint form. You can read the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and find out about constitutional amendments. There’s also a great list of lots of other organizations that offer legal support to prisoners. They clue you in to books and newsletters with information about prisoners’ rights. They even have a list of magazines you can try if you want to get publicity for your case.
Another appendix has free book programs I didn’t know about. I already told you about Books Through Bars, the place in Philadelphia. Well, there are more than twenty others on that list. Just check out the ones that look promising to you. All the addresses are there, but let me know if I can help once you find something interesting.
What I want to know is, can I send you a book like Jailhouse Lawyer’s Handbook? Are there any regulations against it? Allowed or not, we have to do everything by the book as we approach the next hearing. I’ve even heard some bad things about administrative vengeance in prison against prisoners who “get too smart” about the law. The Handbook states that,
A terrible but common consequence of prisoner activism is harassment by prison officials. Officials have been known to block the preparation and filing of lawsuits, refuse to mail legal papers, take away legal research materials, and deny access to law books, all in an attempt to stop the public and the courts from learning about prisoner issues and complaints. Officials in these situations are worried about any actions that threaten to change conditions within the prison walls or limit their power. . . . Prisoners with legal skills can be particularly threatening to prison management who would like to limit the education and political training of prisoners. . . . With this in mind, it is very important for those of you who are interested in both legal and political activism to keep in contact with people in the outside world. . . . It is always possible that organizing from the outside aimed at the correct pressure points within prison management can have a dramatic effect on conditions for you on the inside.2
If you were locked away for life without parole, I’d probably encourage you to try every legal strategy you could find. But that’s not your situation.
HAVE A PIECE OF THE PI
We need you to get your tech game up by any means necessary. Most any job you take in the future, video game designer, g
raphic designer, or otherwise, will require some level of technological proficiency. As of this year there are more mobile tech devices in the world than people. I once asked you if you would be allowed to have a programmable calculator where you are? There’s a lot you can learn by fooling around with one. I never heard back from you about it, so finally, I talked the warden into allowing me to send one to you. Also, I do have help for one thing. I’ve been asking around, and I found out you’re not going to have to worry too much about finding a computer to practice programming on when you get out. I found a sophisticated one that only costs $35.
No, that wasn’t a bad joke. It’s called a Raspberry Pi computer, and it’s smaller than a pack of cigarettes. The Raspberry Pi Foundation, a charity in the UK, developed it to use for teaching basic computer science to kids in school. The whole idea was so ingenious that a million people have ordered them, hobbyists, professional programmers, everybody. It’s a single-board computer with an operating system that can be put on a camera memory card. The new model—I mean the second one to come out—has 512 MB of RAM. You can boot up the amazing little thing on some form of Linux or Debian and even using Google Chrome or the Android “Ice Cream Sandwich” OS (whatever the hell that means, ’cause I copied it from Wikipedia.org, figuring you’d want to know). By the time you get out, it’ll probably support Python as the main programming language but will also allow a form of BASIC and Perl.
Keep up the good work!
Hill
LEARNING
LETTER 36
Out There