by Mia Caldwell
“I know. I tried to tell you.”
They both laughed. The deep, rich sound of Quint’s laughter brought Amara up short. When was the last time she heard him laugh? She couldn’t remember.
And so she laughed longer, just to hear him join her.
Hampton smiled, as if he appreciated the humor. The smile grew wider, and he made a chirping sound. Then the smell hit.
“Ohhh, no,” Amara said. “Looks like it’s time for Daddy to have his first chance to change his son’s diaper.”
“My pleasure,” Quint said, and called the attendant to bring the bag of Hampton’s things that they’d brought on the trip with them.
Together, Amara and Quint changed their son’s diaper and then dressed him in his own clothes and wrapped him in his own blanket.
When Amara pulled out Hampton’s favorite rattle, he snatched it out of her hand and shook it like he’d never been without it. Amara’s heart soared. He was still himself. He was undamaged and whole.
She wanted to share everything with Quint, but when it was time to feed her baby, she wanted to do it herself. She’d missed the ritual like she’d miss breathing if were taken from her.
Hampton lay cradled in her arms, his plump, red lips pursed around the bottle’s nipple, formula frothing lightly at the corners of his dear, little mouth. He stared up at his mother, locking gazes in a bond as old as time.
“I love you,” she told him, and a thrill of completion passed through her.
Quint had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, and he also gazed down at the trusting, suckling infant.
“I love you,” he said.
Amara smiled, happy to hear Quint could say that to his son.
“I love you,” he repeated, but it was different, the way he said it that time. It had a warmth and different intimacy to it.
She couldn’t have said for certain, but she thought it might have been meant for her.
Chapter Thirty Eight
IN ONLY A FEW DAYS, Hampton had gotten used to Quint, and was at ease. His odd little signals of approval, laughing and smiling when he was held, kicking his little feet, started almost immediately after they arrived at Quint’s hotel suite.
Now that they were back in America, the events of the last few weeks hardly seemed real to Amara. She felt as if she’d come out of some movie-inspired dream and was waking up to reality.
While Quint and Hampton got along wonderfully, Amara found herself chewing over the future. Even sitting across the table from them in the hotel seemed foreboding, though she wrote it off as idle worry brought on by all she’d endured in Montevideo.
But what did the future hold? And more importantly, what did she want it to hold?
When the phone beeped in her pocket, she quickly brought it out and stared down, oddly desperate for a distraction from the thoughts spinning in her mind. Kari’s message was simple:
Is it okay to call?
Rather than sending a text back, Amara excused herself and stepped into the bedroom she’d been using, closing the door softly behind her before dialing Kari’s number.
No pleasantries were necessary. The relief and excitement were apparent in Kari’s voice. “I’ve been so, so worried about you! You got back day before yesterday, and you haven’t been in touch since! What’s been going on?”
Amara sat down in one of the comfortable easy chairs in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass windows and stared out over the city. “I … uh … I’ve been at Quint’s hotel room with Hampton. I don’t want to go home just yet. They don’t know I’m back at the university, so I’m trying to stay a little quiet there, too. I need some time to take stock after everything that happened.”
“That makes perfect sense. What about Raneesha?”
“Has she been bothering you?”
“No, you know I love your momma. She worries, that’s all.”
“Momma knows I’m back in town,” Amara said. “I took Hampton over yesterday for a short visit, and we’ve got plans to meet up soon, but I’m having a hard time, Kari.”
“What do you mean? Isn’t this kinda what you were after the whole time? You’ve got your boy back, and Quint’s all right. Aren’t you happy?” Kari sounded confused, and almost in disbelief.
“Of course I’m happy!” Amara eased herself down into the chair. “I don’t know what things are going to be like going forward, you know? I’m kinda scared. Quint is incredible.”
“Mmmhmm, he is that and then some.”
Amara smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm. “I’ve gotten used to having him around.”
“That’s right. I bet you have,” Kari said, her insinuation obvious.
“Don’t go there. It’s not like that.”
“Why not?”
“Stop it,” Amara said. “He’s really not who I thought he was, you know, back then? He’s been there for me completely through all of this, but I really, really don’t know what I’m going to do now. I don’t know if I’m ready. I don't know if he’s ready.”
Kari scoffed, though the grin was evident in the sound of her voice. “Ready for what, exactly? To admit you want this to end the way it should? That you love this guy? Come on! Think of all you’ve been through together. You told me yesterday what a wonderful father you think he’s going to be. You hung tight during what was the most stressful thing that could have happened to you, so you’ve got the whole ‘better or worse’ part covered.”
Amara sighed softly. “I don’t know. I think I’m falling in love with him, and I think I have been for a while. Before Hampton was born, even. We talked almost every day, Kari. He could make me laugh when I was low, he comforted me when I was being unreasonable and all hormonal. He didn’t even make fun of my pregnancy brain.”
“High praise.”
“I know. And he seemed to care for me, more than because I was bearing his son, though I didn’t recognize it at the time.”
“Aww, of course he did, Amara. I mean, he chose you to be the mother of his child. He had to have done that for more reasons than finding your DNA attractive.”
Amara chuckled. “That’s a point, I guess. Oh, Kari. I think I may have it bad. I think I might actually be in, you know, love-love.”
Kari squealed, and Amara jerked the phone back from her ear.
“I knew it!” Kari cried. “I read the cards last night, and they said loud and clear that you two were going to come together and stay together. Past hardships, but a bright future! Isn’t that right?”
“I guess so — even back to the whole debacle at the conference. I was so pissed off at him. I don’t know that I’d ever been madder, at that time. I think a lot of that anger was because I knew he could be different if he’d think about the bigger picture and get past the profit-at-all-costs hype.”
“That’s happened, now,” Amara continued. “He’s the man I thought he was, and the man I knew he could be. That’s why this is so scary for me. I don’t know if I can keep from getting together with him at this point, you know?”
“Hell, I don’t know why you’d want to keep from it.”
“I keep thinking this was all about the baby to begin with. What if he only wants to be with me to have a family? He was willing to do weird stuff to have a son, maybe he wants a wife now, too. Complete the whole set.” She tried to play it off lightly, like she was kidding, but there was some honest concern at the heart of her joke.
Kari huffed hard. “Don’t pull that on me. I heard that, you know. I know you better than anyone else, and you better not forget it. So you get that thought out of your head. You said yourself that he’s a good man, and that he’s the man you thought he could be. He’d have to be some kind of sociopath to scrape together parts of a family like they’re collectibles or something! Is he a sociopath?”
“No, don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not the ridiculous one here,” Kari said. “What you should do is talk to the man. I bet you’ve been putting off any serious conversation since you got bac
k, haven’t you? Certainly sounds like it to me.”
Amara nodded slowly, reflecting — a habit she’d gotten into after being around Kari in person for so long. Even on the phone, it felt like they were in the same room together.
When she realized she hadn’t responded, she cleared her throat softly. “Yeah. I don’t wanna say the wrong thing.”
“He didn’t come to you simply because he wanted to have a baby. I bet he’s still as caught up over you as you are over him. Talk to him.”
Amara turned and took in the lights of the city. “You’re right. Kari. As usual. I need to stop over-thinking this. I’m going to do something.”
“What? When?”
“Talk to him. And soon.”
“Do it tonight, before you lose your nerve.”
“You’re such a busybody. And I thank you for it.”
Kari giggled hard. “You know by now I’ve got your back. You’re gonna be happy whether you want to or not, damn it. I’m gonna make sure of it.”
Amara stood, determined, and wearing a wide grin. “I know. Thank you, Kari. Seriously, for everything. I’ll talk to you later, all right?”
“Yeah, yeah. No reason to thank me. But tell me if he’s got a brother or a cousin or something. You know I’m still looking for a good man, and anybody around him has got to be something special.”
Amara said goodbye and padded quietly back into the main room of the suite. Quint was walking with Hampton, rocking him gently in his arms, a half-empty bottle sticking out of his suit-jacket pocket.
Hampton was fast asleep, bundled up in the soft, crochet blanket Raneesha made for him after he was brought home from the hospital.
Quint looked up with a broad smile, giving a slight nod of his head toward Hampton, and spoke in a near-whisper. “He’s an angel, Amara. I’d like to say he got his temperament from me, but I’m told I was a little terror.”
Amara chuckled softly and went over to him. She scooped Hampton up carefully and rocked him as she carried him to the cradle they’d set up in her room. She lowered him into the cradle and started a slow, gentle rock before turning back to Quint.
He moved back and motioned for her, and once she turned on the baby monitor, she stepped outside. He closed the door quietly behind her and made his way into the living area, his voice picking up once they were well away from the door.
“These last few days have been magical, Amara. It’s surreal, getting to hold my son.”
She spoke up almost abruptly, finding no way to introduce the topic more subtly or gently. “Quint, why did you choose me? Why pick me to have your baby?”
Chapter Thirty Nine
QUINT’S BROW RAISED IN SURPRISE and confusion. “What kind of question is that?”
“A good question.”
“I thought we discussed that when I made my offer to you. I need a drink. You want a drink?”
“Yeah, I think I’m going to need one.”
Quint headed over to the small bar. “I’m afraid to know what you mean by that.”
Amara followed him and leaned on the gleaming, polished wood bar top. “You didn’t answer my question.”
He poured some single malt scotch into a pair of short tumblers. “You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman. Need I have other reasons?”
Amara shook her head and accepted the glass he offered her. “I don’t think that’s it, Quint. That’s not enough. Kari’s as smart, maybe smarter. And she’s beautiful. So is my friend Jaslene. There are plenty of women around who fit those criteria, and it’s not like you and I knew each other all that well after that conference, no matter how quickly we got close.”
Quint took a sip of the scotch, stalling for time by savoring the fine drink. Finally, he heaved a heavy sigh of resignation and straightened up. “Fine. I admit it. I couldn’t stop thinking about you after we met and things fell apart. The thought of what might have been between us was a real thorn in my side.”
“You weren’t used to being told no.”
“True. But it was more than that. You made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time, probably ever. And you forced me to think more critically about the wider world view of poverty. You brought their reality right to my doorstep, and I couldn’t go back after that, not after being so close to you.”
A warmth grew in Amara’s chest, and it wasn’t caused by the smooth whiskey she was sipping. “Did I truly change your mind about economically disadvantaged people just because I wouldn’t sleep with you?”
Quint laughed heartily. “It does sound like that, I guess. No, it’s not that simple, and yet, it’s partly true. I needed to wake up, to get past myself and stop thinking everything was about me. I felt protective of you, hungry for your attention and your approval.”
“So you came and played Rumpelstiltskin with me. That was sure to get my approval.”
He laughed again. “Damn, that’s why I can’t resist you. You slice right to the bone of the matter.”
They sipped their drinks and silently regarded each other.
When Quint spoke again, there was a vulnerability in his tone. “I always believed that you felt something too, something about me, something that lasted past being angry at me. Did you feel something, or was that only my wishful thinking?”
She shook her head slowly. “I didn’t want to admit it to myself, Quint, but yes, I did. I read everything I could find about you after that, so I was watching you grow. And I did approve.”
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear that.”
“It made me happy to see you doing good work. Yet it never seemed right to try to contact you, you know? Not as if I couldn’t, but I think I was nervous about what it might mean. And I believed I didn’t have time for relationships, not with my work schedule.”
“But there was time for Frederik.”
“Yes, and thinking back on it, that’s undoubtedly why I ended up with him. He was close, convenient. He worked at the same university, and we were in the same field. This was undoubtedly what opened me up to him. And we know why he pursued me, now. As a research meal ticket.”
Quint’s fingers tapped against the side of his glass. “I followed your career after we parted, too. Word of your work made its way around in the circles I’d inserted myself into. A lot of big name humanitarians were excited about your research. And those who didn’t know, I made sure they did. I was so proud when I saw that you got funding for a second round of trials.”
“I had no idea you were working for me behind the scenes.”
“I believed in your work, and I still do. It was the least I could do, believe me. And so you know, I didn’t stop being your advocate after I found out about Frederik. Don’t get me wrong, I hoped it wouldn’t last. But while I hoped your relationship would go down in flames, I still wanted you to succeed in other areas of your life.”
Amara smiled at him. “Good to know.”
“I thought you’d like that. Anyway, when I heard the rumors of your results being falsified, I contacted the dean of your university and heard the whole story of what your ex had done. I was angry for you, and I knew the accusations were false from the moment I heard them, of course.”
She wanted to hug him, but held back. “Thank you, Quint. Thank you for believing in me.”
“Of course I believed in you. I’d seen the results myself, and they were phenomenal. I’m no scientist, but the people I ran the results by had nothing but praise for your efforts and methods. As for your split from Frederik, I can’t say I was sorry to hear about that.”
“You don't say.”
“Damn, are you flirting with me?”
“I might be. Or it might be this whiskey getting to me. I’m a lightweight. I think I mentioned that.”
“Here, have some more.” He splashed another finger’s worth into her glass. “Get to drinking.”
“Okay, but tell me about what happened next, after you heard about everything.”
“You have the most beautiful
eyes. So big and brown, and they sparkle. Did you know that?”
“I didn’t. Back to the story, please.”
He took a sip and continued. “So when I heard that you’d broken things off, and he retaliated by using his influence to get your funding pulled, I knew I had to do something to save your work. Admittedly, I had other, more selfish motivations. I’d been thinking about how short life was, how much I wanted to have a family. I’m not usually an impulsive person, but I knew the moment I heard of your hardships that I had to do something, and if that something secured you to me, then all the better.”
“Secure me? I’m not a short-listed stock.”
“You make it sound bad, but if you think about it in a different way, it’s actually a great thing.”
“I think you’re full of it.”
He grinned and took the mostly empty glass away from her. “And I think you’ve had enough.”
“You’re always taking care of me, aren’t you?”
His expression changed from amused to tender and gentle. “I try, Amara. And I always will.”
“And you wanted me to be the mother of your child.”
“I didn’t actually plan it out that way. When I saw you in person again, those feelings I’d been struggling with blew up around me. I had let our chance slip away once before, and I couldn’t lose you again. Even though you were standoffish in the dean’s office and hardly wanted anything to do with me, I knew that I’d caused that — and you were doubtlessly still hurting from a very bad breakup.”
“Yeah, and I was freaked out that you were the man the dean wanted me to schmooze for funding. I mean, you of all people. Schmoozing.”
“He asked you to do that, did he? I didn’t ask for it.” He splashed some more of the amber liquid into his own glass. “When I heard your voice that day, it was like going back in time to the first time I saw you and heard you speak at that conference. Magic.”
“It kind of was magic, wasn’t it?”