Healing Hearts 6: To Love Again

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  She didn’t correct him and say that Martin wasn’t her boyfriend, and why? Because she felt guilty for being attracted to three men. Felt unsure if she was just latching onto Houston and his brothers because they were the first ones she saw when she gained consciousness and how safe and secure she felt in such large capable arms? She’d screwed up, or maybe not. If it was the right thing to do, then why did thinking about it make her feel so guilty?

  She felt the tears reach her eyes. She didn’t think she could ever get over Westin. Maybe it was better to remain single and maybe only trusting Martin when it came to men? Maybe.

  * * * *

  Martin Shelding ended the call and exhaled. He looked at the bathroom door and could still hear the shower running. He ran his fingers through his hair. He hardly remembered meeting the brunette last night. She reminded him of Emma so much, but this woman was nothing but a whore, where Emma was practically a virgin. Westin had told him he was Emma’s first and only lover. It only added to her appeal. He’d screwed up making her feel so congested with thoughts of Westin that she’d taken the job in South Carolina. Where had he gone wrong? Martin thought going slow and taking his time with her had been the right thing to do, especially considering that the investigation was still going on through Internal Affairs and he didn’t want it to look like he was moving in on the widow. Westin’s death was considered suspicious, but Martin didn’t tell Emma any of that.

  He exhaled. He felt like shit. He was losing his mind, feeling paranoid with Bosen and Dixen wanting him to pull off more jobs. Martin clenched his fists. Why couldn’t Westin have just gone along with the job instead of being such a rule follower? Why? Once Dixen and Bosen knew that Westin couldn’t be trusted, they took him out, and it was Martin’s fault. He’d caused it. He was the dirty cop. Fuck, and it didn’t help that he was obsessed with Emma. That he wanted to be her lover, her man, her everything. He could give her so much now that he had money.

  Then he felt like crap. He and Westin had been best friends. He’d loved him like a brother, but he’d gotten him killed. That guilt was something he would have to live with, but hearing Emma talk about the guys in that town, and then finding out from the local cop, Caden, about the three men watching over her and he was pissed. His jealousy had him making moves and planning things that could push Emma further away. She’d picked up on it. She had to have. That was why she suggested the hotel to stay at and not her place. If he stayed at her place, he would be in her bed by evening.

  The woman in the shower right now had done nothing to ease his aches and desires. He still thought of Emma. Of her long brown hair, her bold green eyes, her petite, yet sexy figure, and that fragility and femininity that made her vulnerable and prey. He hoped that she wasn’t seeing anyone. That she wouldn’t let another man in her bed. He accepted that she had belonged to Westin and Westin only, but if she slept with another man or more than one, he would lose his shit for sure. His chest tightened, and the anger pooled in his belly. He had taken his time, and apparently that was where he’d fucked up. He couldn’t quit his job and leave with her because she would panic at that and also I.A. would investigate him further and find out about the money he had and ask questions. Cops didn’t make that kind of money on a detective’s salary in the NYPD even with overtime.

  No, he had to stay in touch with Emma. Talk to her often and make her see he was the only man she could trust. Then he would fly out to see her. A long weekend marking her his woman. Possessing that sweet body like he always wanted to would ease the anxiety and fears he had. Then he could wrap things up with Bosen and Dixen and strategically plan a botched raid or something where he got shot. Non-life-threatening but enough to make him retire and head to South Carolina to be with Emma, who surely would accept him with open arms. She would fear for his life, for almost losing him like she’d lost Westin, and they would live together and start their lives together. It was perfect.

  Then he thought about the things he still had to do, and about work, and now this brunette he needed to get rid of so he could start planning. It would all work out, and no one, especially Emma, would be none the wiser.

  Chapter 1

  Houston Gordon was in a rotten mood. He walked through the back kitchen of Gordon’s checking on the prep work for tonight’s specials and he didn’t even have to be here. Rocky, the manager, a retired Navy SEAL had things under control, along with four other men who were all retired from the military and good friends of him and his brothers. Houston couldn’t stop thinking about Emma and how that soft, feminine beauty had gotten under his skin and into his hardened heart, and he didn’t even date her. He was pissed because the night they’d met they got along well and he’d been debating about asking her out. He didn’t date. Hadn’t met any woman who made it worthwhile, or so he thought. He figured he was out of practice not picking up on her insincerity. Then to learn she had some boyfriend in New York pissed him off. He really felt protective of her. Finding her all battered and tied up on the pier, scared, shaking, and barely conscious had haunted his dreams every night since then. He took it out on the punching bag and in the ring twice since that day at the hospital. He was truly frustrated and jealous.

  Miller, the untrusting, cold-hearted bastard, had told him to forget about her and that women were after one thing, money. Eagan, his other brother who didn’t date at all and only went out of town to ease his needs, hadn’t said a word except to just forget about her.

  So he tried, and when he wondered how she was holding up, he called Ice and asked, but said not to say a thing to her. It was so screwed up.

  “Are you going out tonight?” Rocky asked him when he appeared in the kitchen from the side office.

  “Not sure.” Houston looked at the set-ups and noticed some of the items were not lined up the way they should be. “Hercules, what’s this shit? Get that in order,” he reprimanded, and Hercules nodded and immediately fixed the items. Houston knew he was being a prick, but he couldn’t help it.

  “Hey, let’s walk out to the bar. I need to talk to you,” Rocky said to him as he held the clipboard in his hand.

  They headed out of the kitchen, and Houston exhaled. “Buddy, what’s the deal with you lately? You’re being a prick to everyone. Is something wrong with you, with Miller or Eagan? I mean, are they sick or something?”

  He squinted at Rocky and exhaled.

  “No, nothing is going on.” His cell phone started to ring. He pulled it from his pocket.

  “Go home then. Go out with your friends or something. We got this covered,” Rocky said and walked away as Houston answered the call and walked through the crowd of patrons and onto the side deck where it was empty.

  “Hey, Houston, how’s it going?” Roman asked him.

  “Hey, Roman, all is well. How’s that beauty of yours? She doing okay and healing up?” he asked and thought about Emma and wanted to know how she was doing, too. He could tell that Ice, Frankie, Ranger, and Roman were deeply in love with Casey and had moved heaven and earth to find her.

  “She’s healing up pretty good. Still looking battered but she’s ready to go to Corporal’s tonight to see the gang. She wanted to make sure that you and your brothers would be there.”

  “Us? Why?”

  “Ahhh I don’t know. I guess she likes you guys, though I don’t know why,” Roman teased, and Houston chuckled.

  “Nice. Well, I’ll have to check with Miller and Eagan. They may have plans.”

  “Make them stop by, or if not, then you come by. Caden and the gang will be there, too.”

  “Okay, I’ll see if I can get there. Maybe closer to nine.”

  “Sounds good. Take care and see you tonight.”

  He ended the call and exhaled. He felt a little bit nervous and also wondered if Emma would be there, but he shouldn’t wonder. She had a boyfriend. She wasn’t single. He didn’t date and obviously the woman couldn’t be trusted if she’d never mentioned a boyfriend and still flirted with him. She had clung to him w
hen he found her and opened her eyes, locked gazes with him, and cried with relief. It had been pure relief on her face and in her eyes when she locked gazes with him. It was like she knew she was safe in his arms. His. So what the fuck? Why couldn’t he get over her being taken and not single? Why couldn’t he get her out of his head?

  He grunted and then pushed off the railing. He shouldn’t go tonight. It would be torture seeing her and not be able to talk to her and get to know her better. She had a boyfriend. Long distance obviously, but still a boyfriend, and from what Caden said, he sounded possessive. Not a good thing. He was too old for this shit, and that was another thing. She could get anyone, so why would she want him? Plus, if she found out he owned Gordon’s, a gold mine, she could use him. At least that was what Miller feared. He exhaled. Maybe I shouldn’t go at all.

  He walked back into the restaurant, surprised at how much he was thinking about this. About the way Emma had looked the night he met her here. She’d be so beautiful he’d picked her out of the large crowd. That long brown hair, sexy figure in the slim-fitting body cam dress. She wore wedge heels, and he was still much taller than her. Then his mind flashed to the night she was abducted and how he’d found her with his brothers and their friends. His heart had dropped at the sight and realization that it was Emma who was the victim. He hadn’t a clue, and all those bruises, her hands and ankles bound, as well as her mouth, was a sight that now haunted his dreams at night. He hated this. For whatever reason he just couldn’t stop thinking about her. Maybe seeing her tonight, if she showed up, would give him the ability to move on, especially if he could ask her about her boyfriend and why she hadn’t mentioned she had one.

  * * * *

  “I can hardly see the bruises. How about your head? Please tell me the headaches are gone or at least less painful?” Casey asked Emma after they embraced hello.

  “I’m doing a lot better, Casey. How about you? That lip looks terrible and the bruising on your neck, too.”

  Casey placed her hand over her throat. “I know, but it will look uglier before it gets better, as you know. Are you sure that you’re okay? Faith said that you stayed alone last night.”

  “I did. It’s time to get things back to normal.”

  “Hmm, not so easy, believe me, but having a therapist as a boyfriend kind of helps.”

  Emma chuckled. “I bet.” She glanced past Casey to see Ice staring at them. Frankie, Ranger, and Roman were close by, as well. “I can see that they can’t take their eyes off of you.” Emma winked.

  “Kind of like that good-looking tough guy over there by Caden and Thermo,” Casey said, and when Emma turned to look, she spotted Houston. He looked angry, and she felt terrible. He thought she was a liar, and that didn’t sit right at all.

  “Come on,” Casey said, snickering and grabbing Emma’s arm to bring her closer to Houston and the others. Caden kissed her hello and then Thermo, as well. They looked at her bruises.

  “Are you doing okay?” Thermo asked.

  “I’m fine, thanks so much.”

  Houston nodded at her. “Good to see you, Emma. Looks like the bruises are healing well,” he said very unemotionally, like his words were forced.

  “Yes they are. Can’t get rid of them fast enough.”

  Casey started talking to Caden about something and she stepped aside, and Houston asked if Emma wanted a drink.

  “Just club soda and lemon please.”

  “No coconut rum and cranberry tonight?” he asked, remembering what she had the night they’d met at Gordon’s.

  “No thank you. My head isn’t exactly the same yet, and with the pain coming and going, I don’t want to take the chance.”

  He narrowed his eyes at her. “What have the doctors said about that? Is it normal to still have pain?” He asked the bartender for the club soda.

  She stepped into the open spot next to him and the bar. She stared up into his dark blue eyes, and that scruff along his cheeks. He was so good-looking, and as she inhaled his cologne, she remembered the night they’d found her and how he held her close. She found peace and protection in his arms, and his cologne reminded her of safety and security. She definitely was affected in more ways than one by this man.

  “Emma?”

  She felt his palm on her hip, and then it slid along her back, drawing her closer. She gasped and placed her hand on his forearm.

  “You okay?”

  “Oh, uhm, yes, just…it’s nothing.” She looked away. He gave her a little squeeze.

  “Talk to me. No lies, no bullshit. Just say what you’re thinking.”

  She stared up into his eyes. Hesitated only a moment. “Your cologne, it reminds me of that night.”

  “Shit.” He went to pull back, and she grabbed his arm. He squinted at her. “No, not like that, Houston. In a good way. A comforting way. I guess it’s kind of stupid of me.” She went to step back, but he pulled her snugger against him.

  “No, not stupid at all. Explain to me what you mean,” he said, sounding cautious.

  Maybe he didn’t like her? Why was she so concerned? Hadn’t she let him think she had a boyfriend in New York? What was she doing? She inhaled again, and his cologne and the feel of his arms did something to her.

  “Emma?” he whispered, and she exhaled, spitting out her words, her emotions without hesitation.

  “Safety, security, your arms, and your cologne brought on those sensations and that night you guys found me, and when I saw your face and smelled your cologne, I instantly knew I was safe.”

  He widened his eyes and then narrowed them so seriously she looked away. He was intimidating and affected her so.

  She felt his hand on her jaw then his thumb stroke her lower lip. “You are safe in these arms, but what about that boyfriend in New York?”

  She held his gaze, absorbed the feel of his finger stroking her lower lip.

  “There is no boyfriend, Houston. He’s just a friend, and he was concerned.”

  “But the doctor said boyfriend.”

  “I just didn’t correct him.” She looked away, and his fingers fell from her jaw, and he looked at her like she’d insulted him again. Like she disliked him instead of the opposite.

  “I was intimidated by you. Was feeling so much, and under the circumstances of the situation, it would have been wrong of me to grab onto something that I was imagining because of the immense fear—”

  He was shaking his head, and then he looked away, almost smirking, then back at her as he pulled her completely against his chest. “I think we both overthought things, sweetie. You didn’t need to lie, to let me think there was a boyfriend. I understand the fears you have.”

  She shook her head this time. “No, you don’t, and it wasn’t right of me to allow you to think anything. I haven’t felt an attraction to any man in a long time. That night at Gordon’s was special, but then you disappeared and didn’t come back. I figured I didn’t want you thinking I was easy, or like some stalker chick, and then the abduction happened and you’re friends with Ice and the others, and here we are now.”

  “You know what, here we are now is right. Let’s forget about the other stuff and just talk, enjoy tonight, and celebrate with everyone the fact that you and Casey are safe. How about that?” he asked her.

  She smiled and nodded. He got her drink off the bar and handed it to her. She immediately sensed the loss of him pulling back from her to get those drinks. She liked how it felt, him holding her like that. Was it wrong of her to have these feelings for another man? Was it? He took his beer, and they clinked glasses.

  “To life and happiness.”

  She smiled. “I like that. To life and happiness and making new friends.” They took sips from their drinks with their gazes locked, and then Faith, Brook, and Melina joined the others around them in conversation.

  As they did, and Emma got more comfortable with Houston by her side, she felt his hand on her back, caressing her, and eventually they were engaging in a one-on-one conversation once
again.

  * * * *

  Houston took in the sight of Emma. Her long light brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders in waves, her stunning green eyes that showed her emotions, and, of course, her sexy body in the short skirt and long-sleeve top she wore, which was tight and accentuated her figure. She looked good, and he wondered if she wore the long-sleeve shirt to cover the bruises on her arms and wrists. As he looked at her crossed legs, he admired her youthfulness and her classiness.

  “Emma, oh wow, it’s so good to see you.” His thoughts were interrupted as some guy approached. A younger guy. A guy closer to her age.

  “Justin, how are you?”

  She got up off the stool as the guy went to hug her hello. “I heard what happened to you. Thank God you’re okay. What a scary situation.”

  She looked a bit upset. “How did you hear?”

  “I was at the hotel last week, and Cassidy mentioned what happened and that you were okay but recovering and would be back to work soon.”

  “Oh, okay. Yes, I’ll be back. Oh, this is Houston. Houston meet Justin. He works for the maintenance company that does work for the hotel when things are broken or need to be replaced.”

  Justin stared at her, and Houston could tell the guy was hot for her.

  “I’m so glad that you’ll be back soon. I was worried that I wouldn’t see that gorgeous smile of yours again and then have to deal with Margret.” He winked.

  She laughed. “Margret is harmless.”

  “Harmless? The woman slapped my ass when I was on the ladder changing a light fixture in the hallway by the offices.”