Kindling

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Kindling Page 24

by Agnes H Hagadus


  “But what?” Allison was interrupted by the navigation system informing her to prepare to turn in half a mile. “I’ve never had a best friend. The closest is my boss Rick. But he wants more from me than I can give.”

  “You mean…?” Allison indicated the turn ahead as she nodded. “Isn’t it scary when a man wants more than friendship from you? I mean…”

  “It’s scary when anyone doesn’t take no for an answer.” Allison chanced a glance at her best friend. The sign for the theatre was only a few driveways down. “I’ve had a couple occasions when a woman wouldn’t accept that I didn’t want to date her.”

  “Oh.” Geraldine had thought it was easy for those that knew their heart. Easy for those that didn’t have to work to make their outside reflect their insides.

  For being a weekday, the theatre was busy. It took Allison a moment to find a parking spot, even with her tiny car. She released her seatbelt before turning toward Geraldine. “I’m sorry.”

  The cowgirl tilted her head. Why was Allison sorry? She had offered, not only friendship, but best friendship. “Why are you sorry?”

  Allison swallowed before answering. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I forget how sheltered your life truly has been.”

  Once again, Geraldine was staring at her hands in her lap. “It’s why I nearly didn’t come to the bed and breakfast. Even while I was sat on the bus, I didn’t know a man was making fun of me. There was a nice woman who defended me. Even said we need to stick together. I wasn’t certain what she exactly meant.”

  “Living outside your safety zone is not the easiest thing. I’m slowly learning that.” Allison knew she had to confide in her best friend. “I hate my current job with a passion. But working anywhere else terrified me. Why I’ve stayed. Course, I have no choice now.”

  Geraldine nodded, but couldn’t look at Allison. The cashier hastily continued. “In a lot of places, the LGBTQI community is very protective. Not just of those in the community, but of anyone being picked on. The woman might have sensed how shy you were and wanted to help. In any way that she could.”

  “So what you are saying, there are good people in this world. Like you and those I’ve met at the bed and breakfast.” Geraldine was partly being a smartass. A bigger part wanted to know how she could tell.

  Allison couldn’t help chuckling slightly. “There are definitely good people out there. Overall, Rick is a good guy. He just has to respect my boundaries. If he does that, we’re cool.”

  The expression on Geraldine’s face informed Allison it wasn’t merely the fact there were good people out there. “You want to know who to trust?”

  The cowgirl nodded. “I wish I had an answer for you. It’s not like the old westerns when most good guys wore a white hat and the bad guys black. There are those that come off as a good person, only to want something from you. Or to abuse you. Or…”

  “I get it.” Geraldine managed to look her friend in the eyes. “It’s like friendship. One doesn’t know who to trust or not. One has to take a leap of faith, from time to time.”

  “Exactly.” Allison leaned in and kissed Geraldine on the cheek. Instantly, the cowgirl was the color of ketchup. “I can’t promise I’ll always know what to say or do. But I will try not to hurt you. I will support you as much as I can.”

  Geraldine had the sinking feeling that there were very few people in the world like Allison. Her friend was someone who cared very little about her own happiness.

  Yes, Allison had become angry when Geraldine had refused to commit to a friendship. It was understandable as Allison had placed her heart on the line.

  Somehow, Geraldine always knew the anger wasn’t because it was for Allison’s happiness. It was because her friend wanted to see the cowgirl happy. Being rebuffed like she had had to have hurt.

  “Thank you.” Geraldine couldn’t help but place her hand to her cheek. “For understanding, or at least attempting to.” The cowgirl turned so that she was looking at the theatre. “I can’t say I won’t make the same mistakes over and over again. But at least I know I have someone, other than my mother, looking after me.”

  “Exactly.” Allison squeezed Geraldine’s knee before exiting the car. It was time for some entertainment. “Now, it’s time for popcorn. Maybe some nachos. And hopefully a half decent movie.”

  Geraldine remained in her seat for several moments. The gentle, loving touches by Allison were not what the cowgirl was accustomed to.

  Yes, her mother was tender. When she could be. Geraldine remembered what her father and brothers considered loving. It nearly caused her to become ill.

  The cowgirl knew she would have to confide her sudden memory with her best friend. Did she do it after they separated for an untold amount of time? Or did she make their final evening together one of pain?

  Allison knocking on her window startled Geraldine. She hadn’t realized she had become engrossed in her hands once again. “Sorry.”

  The door was opened for Geraldine. She stretched, before reluctantly taking the hand offered her. The two slowly made their way inside the theatre.

  There were so many people. Geraldine wasn’t accustomed to being with so many people. Being with so many at the bed and breakfast was overwhelming at times.

  “I’ve got your back.” Allison squeezed the cowgirl’s hand as they made their way to the concession stand. It was decided on individual drinks, but nachos and popcorn to share.

  As the lights dimmed, Geraldine wondered. Would they always be safe? For the moment, it was only the previews attempting to garner her attention. But there were too many people.

  In fact, Geraldine could feel herself shaking. If asked, she could tell Allison she was cold. That wasn’t exactly a lie as the theatre seemed to have the air conditioning on full blast.

  But it was a lie. The real reason the cowgirl was shaking was the unknown. The shadows of people that lurked everywhere she glanced.

  Even when the movie began with a bang, Geraldine never jumped. Instead, she continued to scan the crowd. It wasn’t until Allison offered her a cheesy nacho that the cowgirl began relaxing slightly.

  As the movie played out on the big screen, something Geraldine had never experienced, she felt herself relaxing. How could this be when there were so many faces hidden in the dim light?

  It took a moment for Geraldine to realize exactly why. The woman sitting next to her was like a safety net. Hadn’t Allison already stood up for her once? Placed herself in danger to protect the cowgirl?

  Geraldine realized in that moment she would have to bid her mother goodbye. Partially, it was because of the woman sitting next to her. It didn’t mean they had to be anything more than best friends. And it didn’t mean they even had to live near one another.

  The biggest reason Geraldine would have to leave her mother’s side was for her own safety. The memory had become a nightmare.

  The cowgirl wasn’t about to kid herself. A confrontation needed to be made. Not with her mother, but with her father and brothers.

  Once Geraldine was able to tell her father and brothers how she felt, she would never be able to return. If her mother was as she thought she would be, she would remain.

  It would tear Geraldine’s heart out to know she might never see her mother in person. Be able to give her a hug. But being true to herself and being happy would be worth it. She knew her mother would tell her the same thing.

  Once again, Geraldine wondered when she should confide in Allison. Her story needed to be told. Every person’s story needed to be told.

  As they reached into the popcorn bucket at the same time, their hands touched. Allison couldn’t help smiling as her best friend became bright red once again.

  Allison wanted their final night together to be perfect but knew that wasn’t the real world. What would happen to mar their final night together?

  Why did Allison have to be so negative? For the first time in her life, she had friends. More than Rick to be there for her for th
e rest of her life.

  In a way, Allison wasn’t negative. She was being realistic. And she was protecting herself. In a way, she was protecting Geraldine as well.

  ()()()()()()()()()()()()

  Dallas had intended to take her little lady on a real date. Instead, Lucy had surprised her. Not much of a cook, Lucy had enlisted the help of Elvira to make a picnic.

  Instead of enjoying a picnic on the grounds of the bed and breakfast, they chose a secluded place Dallas knew of. Lucy might not like how the truckdriver knew of the secluded spot.

  It was one of those things from one’s past. Dallas had had many dalliances over the years. It would be fitting one of those had been a pilot.

  The truckdriver shook her head at the memories. The petite blonde had been insatiable. There definitely had been no strings attached back then.

  Dallas knew there would be other memories that, not haunted her, but would prevail from time to time. But seeing the excitement in Lucy’s eyes as she witnessed unfamiliar countryside pushed those thoughts aside. For now.

  It was something to watch someone have wonder in their eyes. The world was so full of hate and anger, it was as if we’ve lost the ability to enjoy the simplest of things.

  It wasn’t the world. Dallas knew, as carefree as she attempted to be, she was weighed down by the negatives in the world. That her past would sometimes bring her down.

  Now, Dallas had something to bring her out of the negativity. Having someone you wanted to be better for was more than enough.

  It had begun by a lustful thought or thousand on Dallas’ part. It had grown into something the truckdriver could not even place into words.

  Even Dallas’ marriage proposal had been lacking in some ways. It was something she would rectify, once they were both ready to settle down and commit.

  It was complicated. Dallas wondered if Lucy felt the same way. Communication. It was something Dallas was adept at when it came to her moms. But the ladies?

  Oh Dallas had a gift for talk. But talking didn’t mean actually expressing yourself. For fully communicating your emotions.

  “Is everything all right?” It wasn’t so much how quiet Dallas had become. Lucy wasn’t exactly accustomed to her truckdriver not speaking. It was more the expression on Dallas’ face that concerned her.

  “Just thinking.” Dallas nearly missed the turn. It was partly because she hadn’t been to the park in so long. Partly it was because she was so caught in thought.

  Lucy had to brace herself as Dallas just barely made the turn. The tone of voice had Lucy wondering if she needed to brace herself for anything else.

  “Thinking can be a good thing.” Lucy was nearly distracted by the beauty of the park Dallas had taken her to for their picnic. “But it can be dangerous if you overthink things. Or if you dwell on them. Look at me. I’m not the best at decision making, at least outside of my store.”

  Dallas sighed. This wasn’t what she was accustomed to. While she had encouraged Lucy to think for herself, she didn’t truly realize the consequences. Which were that she would have to become accountable as well.

  “Let’s get settled. Then we can talk.” Dallas didn’t wait for an answer. She stretched before retrieving the basket of goodies. She didn’t even wait until Lucy was beside her before searching for the secluded spot she had been shown.

  Lucy had to hustle to keep up with the long strides of her fiancée. It wasn’t like Dallas not to wait for her. It was even more unlike her to not want to talk.

  By the time Lucy managed to find Dallas, a blanket was spread upon the ground. Lunch was being placed upon the blanket. Lucy was slightly out of breath.

  Dallas hastily helped to ease Lucy to a sitting position. She poured them each coffee before remaining slightly distanced from Lucy.

  “There’s something that bothers me. It’s not about us or our relationship.” Dallas stared into the murky substance as she spoke. “I know you know I was into the ladies.”

  Lucy swallowed. She wasn’t certain she wanted to hear this. Yet, if they were to forge a long and lasting relationship, she knew she needed to.

  “This place. I was brought here by one of my conquests.” Looking back, Dallas wasn’t certain who was the pursuer and who was the pursuee.

  There was a noticeable change in Lucy. In fact, she placed her coffee on the blanket. “We didn’t have a physical relationship here. It was one of the few times we would sit and talk. The only thing I truly knew about her was she was a pilot. And she had a fear of commitment. So the relationship seemed perfect.”

  Was that all there was to it? Lucy retrieved her coffee. It was cooling fast. Still, she took a cautious sip. It could be said she was cautious in her response to Dallas.

  “I’ve never had intense relationships. I’ve never had long lasting relationships.” Lucy managed to look Dallas in the eyes. “In fact, you are truly my first serious one. So I can’t exactly judge you for having a past. But…”

  Dallas understood. “It wasn’t exactly wise to bring you here.” Lucy shrugged one shoulder. “I’ve traveled all over the world. I have a gal in every city or town. I don’t think we’ll find too many places I haven’t had some kind of dalliance in.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” Lucy placed the coffee on the blanket once again, nearly spilling as she arose so hastily. “We have today to have a good time. Are you trying to break things off with me?”

  It wasn’t long before Dallas was standing as well. “Lil Lady, what I said about there being no others for me is true.” The flinching was not unexpected but hurt just the same.

  Dallas backed up a few paces. “I agree, the timing could have been better. But if we are to continue with this relationship, we’re going to have to learn all there is to learn about one another. Even the stuff we might not want to hear.”

  Lucy took a deep breath before she looked Dallas in the eyes. “I guess I wasn’t ready. Besides, I wanted this to be a day of fun. Of some kind of joy to hold onto, until we can be together again.”

  “I’m sorry.” Dallas truly was sorry that she had tainted their last full day together. It was something she would forever regret. “I can apologize over and over again. I truly meant to have only a good time. But the place I chose had memories and I want everything to be honest and above board between us.”

  “And I’m grateful for that.” Lucy took the necessary steps to close the distance between them. “Like I said, I need to apologize as much as you do. I wasn’t prepared. Even though you’ve been nothing but honest with me.”

  “Darlin, this is bound to happen.” Dallas took Lucy’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We are human beings. Though we both speak the same language, our minds decipher things differently. Or we have a slightly different thought process.”

  Dallas’ hand released Lucy’s. Slowly, Dallas slid her hand up Lucy’s arm until she placed it on the back of her head. “The thing is this.” She lowered her head until her lips hovered mere millimeters from Lucy’s.

  “There is one language we will always understand.” Their breaths mingled as Dallas paused. There was an intensity in Lucy’s eyes. It was intoxicating. “Love.”

  Their bodies pressed together as the kiss began. It turned to a duel of tongues. By the time the pair parted, they were out of breath.

  “That was nice.” When Dallas aimed for her lips once again, Lucy momentarily blocked her with a single digit. “I’m sorry. I know we don’t need to say it again, but I am.”

  “And I’m sorry too.” Dallas leaned in for a quick kiss. “And when we are back at the bed and breakfast, we can do more than kiss to seal the apologies.”

  Lucy swallowed at the thought. She’d never been insatiable when it came to lovemaking. Oh, she enjoyed the few romantic liaisons she’d had. But to be so in need of someone’s touch? It was unreal.

  “I look forward to that.” As if knowing it was a romantic moment, Lucy’s stomach alerted them both she was hungry. “Guess just toast for breakfast w
asn’t the best of ideas.”

  “After you, Lil Lady.” Dallas even tipped her cowboy hat. Once again, they were settled next to one another. Dallas made certain to warm up both their coffees.

  As the pair ate, mostly in silence, Dallas couldn’t help but remember the petite blonde. She’d heard the young woman had settled down. Perhaps she could visit on her way back to Montana.

  No, that would have to wait. Her moms needed her. It would have to be the most direct route. It meant leaving Lucy to travel on her own back to Michigan, a thought the truckdriver loathed.

  As they were sharing strawberries covered in chocolate, Dallas knew she had to break the news to her fiancée. “I don’t want to bring us down again, but I’ve been thinking again. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to escort you in the morning.”

  Lucy swallowed the delicacy, before swallowing the rest of her coffee. “I already knew that.” When Dallas tilted her head in question, Lucy sighed heavily. “I did a basic direction to Montana. Realized we are truly going to have to go our separate ways.”

  “Yeah. I just wish we knew exactly how long.” Dallas downed the last of her coffee. She was craving something a tad stronger but was driving. Plus, she rarely drank too much when she was in for a long haul.

  “It would make things a bit easier.” Lucy swallowed, this time from the unknown and sadness. “Will you have access to internet?”

  “Of course. Plus, I’ll have my cellphone.” Dallas winked at Lucy. “I’ve never been in a long-term relationship, but I always make time for my moms. They are special. But my Lil Lady is everything.”

  Lucy launched herself into her awaiting fiancée’s arms. The sun was already beginning its descent. They would need to return to the bed and breakfast soon.

  It would be an evening for goodbyes. They would hopefully be able to remain in contact with one another. Nothing was certain, of that both were certain.

  Dallas placed the dirty dishes in the basket as Lucy rolled up the blanket. As the truckdriver watched out of the corner of her eye, she vowed to fly, if need be, to see her fiancée within a week of parting.

 

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