“Oh, fuck, wait, let me put my legs down; please, I can’t.”
My pleas fell on deaf ears. He continued like this for another three or four minutes and then laid me down on the makeshift bathroom floor. There, he started off slow, tender, and loving. When I looked up at him, I didn’t see Lust, the porn star, I saw a man, a real one that had a love life beyond this artificial bullshit. I saw a man that I wanted to get to know outside of this warehouse.
By the time we were done with our scene, everyone was speechless. Lust helped me up and we waited for the final word from Breeze.
“Wow, well there will be no need for a reshoot,” Breeze said, as he walked over to us on the set. I was all smiles, for I was happy that I had satisfied my boss as well as my own appetite.
“That was on point, man; I haven’t seen you bang like that in a while. We will be using that scene for advertisements and the cover, really good shit, man.”
I stood there waiting for my praises as he patted Lust on the back. It wasn’t just Lust that had worked his ass off for the last 30 minutes; we both performed well.
“I’m gonna head back to my office to cut the checks. Make sure and let me know when you’ll be back in town. Maybe you and Jazzy here can rock the stage a second time, or better yet, maybe we can hook you up with a pro next time.”
I was shocked. I knew that I worked the shit out of my scene and I wanted credit for it.
“You didn’t mind being with a newbie, did you?” I asked Lust, as I leaned into him. He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled me close, and planted a kiss on my cheek.
“Hell no, baby, I’m already thinking about planning my next trip out here,” he said. He faced Breeze and said, “I definitely gotta hook up with her again. She killed that scene, didn’t she?”
“I must have done something right,” I said to Breeze, letting him know I knew that I rocked my shit.
“Oh, yeah, that was good. You both performed well.”
Getting that compliment out of Breeze was like pulling teeth. His attitude seemed to come out of nowhere and I wanted to know what his problem was. I followed him to his office and closed the door behind me.
“What do you want?” he asked, as he sat down at his desk and finally looked at me.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You said yourself that I did a good job downstairs; what did I do to piss you off so much?”
“Just because I’m not kissing your ass for doing your job make you think that something is wrong? Maybe it’s the fact that you went well beyond your job, or maybe it’s the fact that you’re in my office filled with another nigga’s cum that you damn near begged for.”
“Oh, so that’s what it is. You’re jealous; it kills you that Lust just rocked my world. Who seems like the confused one now? Which way do you want it, Breeze, should I be your girlfriend, although you already have one, or should I be a porn star?”
I watched what seemed to be the pits of hatred consume Breeze’s eyes and his lip curled up and looked as nasty as his next words, “Get the fuck up out of my office, you smell like a cum bucket.”
We stared each other down and I could not help but smile. It hit me that this man had caught feelings and he was trying to hide them behind his ego. It disgusted me and I felt sorry for him. The brand new man with money effect was starting to wear off.
“You’re a sad piece of shit, you know that?” I said to his face and I was done. I walked to his office door before he replied.
“I thought you were different, but you’re not. You’re like every other whore that I show a little attention to. But, let’s not forget who pays the bills, bitch.”
I looked back at him and blew a kiss. His words had hurt more then I led on. As I made my way to the showers, I hated him, but I wanted him to forgive me, and praise me for a job well done, all at the same time. I liked him enough to go back up to his office with my tail between my legs but I was mad enough to go to the limit to piss him off a bit more. My confusion brought on a headache and I just wanted to go home and crash. I hoped that Breeze would be in a better mood the next time I saw him.
*****
“It was a pleasure working with you,” Lust said after we showered and got our belongings together to leave. He picked up his duffle bag and proceeded to walk me out.
“I still can’t believe that you’re the same guy from The Devil’s Den bathroom,” I said as I noticed Breeze walking our way. He handed Lust his check and just stood there as if he were my father and I had just been dropped off after a date.
“Well, I’m gonna catch you later.”
The air was so thick that Lust had to leave just to get some fresh air. When the door closed behind him, I waited to see what Breeze was waiting around for.
“So, you were just gonna leave and not say anything?”
“What’s there to say, Breeze? You said a mouth full upstairs. Excuse me if my mother verbally abused me enough for one lifetime; you know what I mean?”
“Look, I know that I overreacted. You did your job tonight and you did it well. It’s just that watching you two blew my mind. I have watched our tape maybe five times already and I didn’t think that it could have gotten any better than that, but tonight, I saw you give him something that you didn’t even give me.”
“It was just a fuck, Breeze, that’s it. I didn’t want to even do this tonight but you pushed and pushed. I can’t help that you didn’t like the outcome.”
“Look at you getting all brand new. Give a bitch a new hairstyle and some skanky clothes, she changes for the worse.”
“You know what I was thinking about as I got the scent of Lust’s good dick off of me? I wondered if you spoke to Tanya the way you speak to me. I really want to know if you just treat me like this because I’m new to your world or if you were always such an asshole.”
“I think that you should leave before you fuck up and say something that you won’t be able to take back.”
“That won’t happen, you’ve already beat me to the punch.”
I opened the door and walked out to him telling me to take my ass home and that he would be calling me to set my ass straight.
“That seemed serious,” I heard someone say. I looked around and saw Lust standing by his Navigator.
“You look just like the type to be pushing a big gas guzzler.”
“What can I say, I love me a good ride,” he said, referring to both to his Lincoln and to me. I walked away from my car and over to his.
“It doesn’t look like you’re doing too bad yourself.”
“It’s my new baby, courtesy of Fantasy Pictures.”
We shared a laugh and I knew that I didn’t want to end my night just yet.
“Where are you headed?”
“I’m going back to my hotel. Why? You’re thinking about round two already?”
His question was delivered both jokingly and seriously.
“I’m not saying all of that but I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink and chill.”
“Where are you thinking about getting that drink, it’s going on two o’clock in the morning?”
“I was thinking about my place, are you down?”
If he said no, I didn’t know how I was going to ever face him again. Getting turned down was never my strong suit.
“You lead and I’ll follow.”
We didn’t say another word. I just walked to my car and drove away with him behind me.
*****
“This is a nice place you have here,” Lust said as he looked around my apartment.
“Yeah, I went for the island feel. When I left my mother’s house back in Baltimore I took with me a lot of the art that we brought to the States from Puerto Rico.”
“She didn’t mind parting with them, a lot of these pieces look like they cost a lot of money?” he asked as he picked up an original Esteban Diaz wooden statue.
“Well, let’s just say that my mother went through different mood swings. One day she got up and decided that
she wanted a change. ‘Out with the fucking old and in with whatever bullshit comes to mind.’ she said as she started taking pictures down and boxing the hand carved statues, so I took them. I kept them all in my room, knowing that I was going to take them anywhere I was going.”
“I wouldn’t say that I am an art genius but your mom has really good taste, and so do you for knowing to keep these things. So how about that drink you promised?”
I fixed us both some Amoretto sours and sat beside him. He smelled good and looked even better. I must have been looking at him longer than I thought because when I came to, he was smiling as if he caught me.
“Still can’t get over what you see, huh?” he asked, smoothing out his clothes and laughing.
“Please get over yourself, it’s not even that. I’m looking at you because you remind me of the guys I dated back home.”
“A Baltimore dude?”
“No, I didn’t date much of those; I’m talking about a D.C. guy. I was always attracted to their walk, their talk, it was always about the swagger for me, and they had plenty.”
“Maybe it just an east coast thing, I find myself being attracted to my home town Jersey girls more than these fake L.A. women. And it goes beyond just the fake tits, lips, and hips,” he said while laughing.
“It’s the fake personas that they have built for themselves. I mean, these motherfuckers are so fake out here that you can’t even trust their hellos.”
The look on his face while he spoke said it all. I had only been out here for a short time compared to him and I felt the same way. I was starting to wonder why he even came up to me. I had broken down and let Breeze turn me into the same packaged dolls that came a dime a dozen in California.
“That’s what caught my eyes about you in the club. I could tell that even with the blonde hair and stripper clothes, it’s like I still saw the real you.”
“Was it that obvious that I felt out of place and character?”
“I don’t know about other people Jasmine, but you stood out like a sore thumb. I’ve known a lot of people that L.A. has changed, but there is a small breed of us that are immune.”
“Well, to tell you the truth, I just got this so called makeover today. I wasn’t for it at first but I did end up liking the end results.”
He looked at me for a while then back at the picture that sat on my coffee table. Then he looked back at me, pointed at the picture, and made a funny face.
“I like you better that way.”
“Me, too.”
We sat there and drank our alcohol in silence both staring at the old me. Me wondering if I had lost that person and him hoping that he would get to meet her.
“Can I freshen that up for you?” I asked once I noticed that he was sipping on melted ice.
“No, I’m good, but do you mind if I smoke, and I don’t mean a cancer stick.”
I pulled out my lighter and small baggy of weed and swung it in his face.
“I’ll match you blunt to blunt.”
He smiled for assuming that I didn’t smoke from time to time. I handed him the two Game blunts that I had and made my way to the kitchen. I made up fresh drinks for the both of us even though he declined my offer. I was sure that the cotton mouth that comes along with smoking would kick in and he would be thankful.
I put down our drinks and was ready to get my smoke on, but before my butt could hit the seat, my cell phone rang. I knew who it was before I even looked at it, after four rings, I pushed end. I didn’t want him fucking up the high I was about to have.
“You ready for this; I bet that you ain't never had one like this before?”
“Faking concern is not your strong suit, Lust, what is your name by the way? I can’t go around calling out Lust every time I need you.”
“Well, at least I know that I’m not just a one night stand.”
His smiled revealing his sincerity, it made me wanted to lean into him and taste his lip, but I wasn’t trying to jump the gun. Plus, I wanted to do this differently than the way I had done with Breeze.
“Why don’t you stop staring at me and do the honors.”
“I wasn’t staring, I was just paying attention.”
I laughed and took the blunt from his waiting fingers that were perfectly manicured. I didn’t even bother to deny it because it was true, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. It even seemed like his jeans and fitted long sleeve t-shirt were all tailored just for him. The cream color bounced off his chocolate skin, making it seem to glow. And although his top fit him perfectly, I imagined the shirt screaming and begging just for a little more room. I took a puff of his strong weed, almost coughed, but held it in. I blew the smoke out of my nose and took in another one. By the third one, it started to seep into my bloodstream and as they say, elevated my mind. I passed him the blunt and leaned back on the couch. I knew that by the time we finished I would be right where I wanted to be.
“Are you gonna answer that?” Lust asked as I continued to push END on my phone every time it rang.
“Are you gonna pass that or what? You’re such a hoovah.”
We both knew that I was ignoring his question but he didn’t mind. He just took another puff and handed me what I asked for. I turned off my phone and asked him questions between my inhaling.
“So, did you come to LA just to work?”
“Yeah, I got a call three days ago from Breeze and he told me that he got a new girl named Jezebel that would rock my world. I wanted to say no at first because I really didn’t need the paper, but he wouldn’t let up. By the end of our conversation he had me curious.”
“Three days ago, that’s when you found out about me?”
I knew that motherfucker Breeze was running game when he told me that his dad had just set things up.
“Yeah, and I’m happy that I came out. You are quite intriguing.”
This time it was my house phone that rang until it went to the voicemail.
“Your turn,” I said, handing him back the feel good weed. I put my smoothly waxed legs up on his lap and waited for his hands to bless them.
“Someone really wants to talk to you,” he said, knowing exactly who that someone was.
“Maybe they smell that skunk you have between your lips.”
He laughed and finally rested his free hand on my thigh. It was as warm as his soul seemed to be.
“So how old are you, L?”
Since he hadn’t told me his name, I had decided to shorten the one that I knew.
“I’m an old 25 years of age, baby, I must seem like a grandpa to your young ass.”
“Boy, please, I’ve dated guys that were older than you, so that makes you just right.”
“Okay, Goldie Locks, come and get a shotgun.”
I smiled as I straddled him and took in the smoke the old school way. I hadn’t gotten a shotgun since high school. I exhaled what seemed to be a mile long puff of smoke, and from that moment on, I was fucked up. I sat on his lap trying to get my thoughts together as he watched me. He reached up, and pushed my hair behind my ears, and held the blunt up to my mouth so that I could take a pull.
“Are you trying to get me fucked up on purpose?”
He didn’t answer me vocally, but he did answer me with his mouth. When his lips touched mine, I leaned into them. They were cold from the drink that he sipped and warm from the heat that burned between us. Then the fucking house phone rang, making him pull away.
“I really think that you should get that.”
I wanted to say hell no but the look on his face left me with no other option. I walked to my bedroom and pushed the door leaving it cracked. I sat on the bed and waited for the phone to ring again, and sure enough no sooner did it stop, it started again.
“Who the fuck is this ringing my phone this early in the morning?”
“Where the fuck have you been, Jazzy? I’ve been calling your ass for a while now, and I know that you turned off your cell phone.”
“Look, I stopped and got somet
hing to eat after I left the warehouse and my phone lost charge. And why are you calling me anyways, shouldn’t you be spending time with Tanya?”
“You haven’t thought of Tanya all day yet you choose now to bring her up, don’t play these fucking games with me Jazzy.”
“Look, Breeze, it’s been a long day and I really don’t want to this right now.”
“We need to do this when I wanna do it and that’s the bottom line. I’m not one of those small time dudes you’re used to fucking with. And to tell you the truth, that’s why I’m still hanging in there with your ass. I realize that you’re not used to a man of my caliber so I’m gonna help you out. First off, you’re gonna have to learn how to stay in your place.”
I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. He was really popping off at the mouth as if he was Big Willie.
“Do me a favor, Breeze, call me if I gotta a job; other than that, don’t dial my number at all.”
I was done. I reached behind my bed, and unplugged my phone, and did the same to the one in the kitchen.
“Did you get that all sorted out?”
“Oh, that, it was nothing, I just had to ask them to please put me on their do not call list.”
We both laughed hard at that one. Hell, he was calling as if he were a telemarketer.
“What’s the deal with you and Breeze?”
I was somewhat shocked that he just came right out and asked but I appreciated the no bullshit approach. As I rolled our next blunt, I went over my whole story from my father and mother, a little about my journey with Breeze. And even after only receiving the short version of my life story, he seemed blown away.
“So now he thinks that you’re his, huh?” Lust asked in that famous ‘I got a deep pull of smoke down my throat and I don’t want to let it out yet’ voice.
“It doesn’t matter what he thinks I am L, it’s all about what I think of myself and who I choose to give myself to. No one can have you unless you hand yourself over to them.”
PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans Page 12