I held up my phone and started to look for his father’s number. He panicked and grabbed the phone out of my hand.
“There’s no fucking use Jasmine, I’m not going. I have to run a business and sometimes you have to stay back and fucking work. Don’t you get that?”
Noticing the look on my face, he tried a softer approach. I was ready to make myself cry if that’s what I had to do. I wanted to see how far he was going to take this bullshit.
“Look, baby, there’s nothing more that I could do. I would give heaven on earth to be there for you but…but I can’t.”
I let the tears roll from my eyes and wet my cheeks. I sat on the bed and looked like my world had just come crashing down.
“Well, I won’t go. It’s not like I’m nominated for anything so fuck it, I’ll stay here with you.”
I could tell that he was getting annoyed because I was putting up such a fight, but I really didn’t give a shit.
“You gotta go; I found out today that you are nominated with the boys for Baby, Bi the Way. Plus you’re gonna be flying out in style. You have to go and represent for me Jazzy, show them what hot bitches from Fantasy Pictures are supposed to look like.”
He thought he was so slick throwing in a compliment. But I was done with our conversation. He was full of the foulest smelling shit on this green earth and that’s all I needed to know. He sat down beside me and kissed me softly. He pushed me back and tried to slip his hands in my undies.
“Sorry, baby, it’s that time of the month. That’s why I only did a blow job today.”
I pushed him off of me and went into the bathroom. I smiled to myself and wanted to laugh. I had just used the oldest excuse in the book and it wasn’t even true. I wasn’t bleeding but I sure as hell didn’t want him in it. I called Ebony and told her that Breeze wouldn’t be joining me. She damn near jumped for joy when I told her that she could room with me.
*****
VEGAS, HERE I COME! Mr. Cappello sent a limo to pick me up from my apartment the next afternoon around 1:30p.m., and hour later I was pulling up to LAX. Now usually, I go in the same way as everyone else, but that day we took a totally different route. Once I was checked in and passed security, I sat down and waited for DeeDee and Mr. Cappello. About 20 minutes later DeeDee was the first to appear followed by Ebony. I never really took the time to really look at her, but that day she looked like a star. She looked stunning in her leather jacket and tight blue jeans. Her thigh high boots seemed to go forever around her long legs. Everything about her was perfectly styled and she definitely looked the part of a billionaire’s mistress. Ebony looked good too, just not as pricey.
“Hey, girl, you ready to party?” DeeDee asked as she took a seat beside me.
“Hell yes, and you won’t believe what I found out yesterday. Do you know that Breeze did everything he could not to get me nominated for any awards this year?” I watched for her reaction but didn’t get the one that I thought I would.
“Girl, I found out last night. Bobby came over and was so heated over that shit. I keep telling him to get rid of Breeze’s no good ass but you know how that goes. His wife would have a fit if he fired her baby boy.”
“Girl, that man is something else,” Ebony added although she could have kept her feelings to herself.
“Where is Mr. Cappello now?”
As soon as I asked he came walking in. He and DeeDee was a sight to see, and in a weird way, they looked good together. She greeted him with a big hug and kiss. He was well dressed and smelled like money.
“Well, hello Jasmine, my god you are looking good enough to eat,” Mr. Cappello said as he stood me up and hugged me. This was the nicest I had ever seen him and it was a welcomed change. He was always all business and it was good to see him on his off time.
“Did you hear the good news Jasmine, I know my honey dip can’t keep her mouth shut when it comes to good news?” he asked as I sat back down. I knew what he was talking about but played dumb.
“What, that I get to fly up there with you?”
Mr. Cappello laughed and took my hand.
“Jazzy, you are nominated for six awards, and one of them is for that scene you did with Lust.”
“What, are you for real? I thought that it was too late for me to get any nods?”
“Stick with me, Jazzy, you’ll go straight to the top. Shall we go?” Mr. Cappello asked as he pointed to the private jet that awaited us.
With DeeDee and me on each arm and Ebony on DeeDee’s arm, he was the envy of all the rich men that sat in the waiting area. We boarded the plane that he named Delightful and headed for the entertainment capital of the world.
*****
We were treated like celebrities when we arrived at the Palms Hotel. I was in awe of not only the hotel but the whole city, aside from the tourist. It seemed like all of the beautiful people were stockpiled in one place. The women at the check in desk alone should have been on the big screen or a fashion runway, they were that beautiful.
“I have a surprise for you Miss Jezebel.”
I turned around and saw Mr. Cappello holding a key card.
“Since this is your first year with us in Vegas and being that you’re nominated for six awards, I took the liberty of giving you a little gift.”
My mind was spinning at the thought of my boss giving me a gift. I was learning that Mr. Cappello really appreciated a top earner.
“I want the memory of your first AVN awards to be the best. I got you a nice room here. I think it’s called the Erotic suite. Hope you like it Jazzy, you deserve it.”
I was smiling from ear to ear. I didn’t book a room ahead since I had planned on Breeze handling all of that. I was just going to take whatever they had so I was so thankful.
“Oh, my god, Mr. Cappello, this is so nice of you. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say much at all. I have been watching you around the warehouse and I like your style. You’re never involved in the petty bullshit that goes on around that place. You know how to handle yourself like a lady. Plus you’re one of our biggest new comers this year. Enjoy, honey.”
DeeDee gave me a hug and congratulated me on my nods as Ebony looked on wishing that she was in my place at that exact time.
*****
Walking into the suite made me wish that I never promised Ebony that she could stay with me. Red was my favorite color and there was no shortage of it in the suite. The big round rotating bed made me wish I had a man with me, but I would make do. I headed to the bedroom and surprisingly so did Ebony.
“Hey, I don’t mind you staying with me and all, but you see that bed? I’m gonna be the only one to sleep in it, is that okay?”
Her face turned real sour real quick but I was going to stand my ground. We were cool and all but this was my moment in a way, and I didn’t want her in my face every time I turned around.
“Umm, yeah, that’s cool,” she said clearly a little ticked off. She would just have to deal with it. The bell boy sat my suitcases down in the room and I tipped him fifty dollars. I lay on the bed that wasn’t rotating at the moment and reached for my cell phone.
“Hey J, you have got to come over and see my room. Mr. Cappello hooked my up right.”
I gave Jamar my room name and within 15 minutes he was there.
“Damn, Jazzy, Mr. Cappello got this room for you? Did you blow him on the ride over here?” Tyree joked as he looked around. I went on ahead and told them what Mr. Cappello said and the night’s event with Breeze. I left out the drugging part. I decided that I was going to keep that info to myself, for the time being.
We sat and talked for another 20 minutes but everyone was kind of on a tight schedule. The Adult Entertainment Expo was that afternoon and we all wanted to get some time to ourselves before we had to work. I promised to see Tyree and Jamar’s room later on that day as they left. Ebony said that she was going to see DeeDee and left with the boys. I got back into the bed, ordered room service and just chil
led for a while. I took the time to think about my life and where my decisions had taken me. I knew that things weren’t always peachy but it was days like this that made it all worth wild.
*****
I was in the middle of the tastiest burger that I had ever had when my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen and saw DeeDee’s picture that she had taken and set on my phone.
“Talk fast, honey, you know I don’t talk while I’m eating.”
“I’m not even gonna ask what you’re eating ‘cause it’s probably some nasty ass meat. Anyway, Bobby has one of the hottest hair and make-up duos out here to come and hook me up for the Expo and awards. If you want I’ll have them fit you in?”
I ignored DeeDee’s remark about me eating meat. Ever since she saw a documentary about the living condition of farm animals, she’s been on this whole vegetarian kick. She tried to bring that shit to us but I had to let her know that I was a pure meat eater and wasn’t changing.
“Will they come to my room or should I just come up to yours?” I asked with a mouth full of cow.
“Just be up here as soon as you can. I already called Ebony so you two can just take the elevator to the penthouse.”
“Oh, look at you, looking down on all of us small people.” I joked. We shared a laugh before hanging up. I finished my meal and told Ebony that we would leave as soon as I showered.
*****
Mr. Cappello sure didn’t skimp on anything when it came to DeeDee. She had a rack full of expensive clothes, two hair dressers and a make-up artist. Their room came with a butler and was the best the hotel had to offer. DeeDee, Ebony and I got our hair and make-up done and within an hour we were all decked out in out Fantasy Pictures/Porn star tee shirts and little shorts. I was so thankful that there was plenty of Champagne in the suite because I needed something to cool my nerves. Mr. Cappello tried to calm me down as much as possible once he noticed how badly my legs were shaking.
“Calm down, Jazzy, this isn’t such a big deal. You take pictures and you sign shit, that’s about it. Just remember that everyone who stands at your booth is there to see you. You and no one else, you are our breakout star this year and it’s about time you start acting like it.”
He kissed me on the cheek and out we all went. It was going to be an experience that I would never forget.
It was like a world of its own. Thousands of people walked around and gawked at us as we stood at our booths. We were catching major shade from actors that worked at other companies but DeeDee kept telling me to brush it off. It seemed like everyone had heard of my nominations and some weren’t so happy at my late admission. But within three hours, I was feeling myself and the elements. The fans had my blood pumping and the line around my booth seemed to go on for miles. Jamar and Tyree came over to see me, which caused the fans of Baby, Bi the Way to go crazy. We took some pictures with the requesting fans before they went their own way. Five hours at the Expo and I was beat. I looked around for the boys to tell them that I was leaving but Tyree was in the middle of an interview. I stood a few feet away from them and waited for him to finish, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to them. As soon as Tyree was done, the reporter came my way and pushed the mic in my face.
“Jezebel, can we have a moment of your time?”
I forced a yes as I watched the boys get into what seemed like a semi heated conversation.
“Sure, I’m always up for a good interview,” I answered all of her questions about being new in the business and what it was like to work for Fantasy Pictures. She asked me about my nominations, but really pressed about Baby, Bi the Way and Lusting for Jazz, which was the movie I did with Lust. When she said his name, I blanked out. I heard nothing after his name, which caused me to ask her to repeat her question.
“Have you seen him since filming and if so, did you two discuss working together again?”
I took my time before answering. Hearing his name made me wonder where he was and if he was going to be at the award show.
“Well, I haven’t seen him since shooting and as far as working with each other again, only time will tell.”
“From what I have heard from your fans, they can’t wait to see you two together again.”
“Yeah, we had great chemistry, but it’s really up to Fantasy Pictures.”
“Well, if that’s the case I’m sure you two will work together again. I heard that no one can keep that flick in stock. It’s really a work of art and due to word of mouth, it’s flying off the shelves.”
I thanked her and let her run down her list of questions for another five minutes. Once we were done. The boys had left so I headed straight for my room. Ebony wasn’t there and I was grateful. After my day, I just wanted to relax, alone.
*****
The next day, we all went to an amusement park and although I had fun, my mind was on Lust the whole time. Would he be at the award show? What would it be like when we saw each other again? Would that crazy attraction be there after all of this time? No matter how much I wanted to lie to myself, I couldn’t. He was and had always been like a swan that floated on water. He treaded through my mind endlessly, floating from thought to thought. When I worked, he was there, when I slept with Breeze, he was there, even when I just lay in my bed alone, smoking, thinking deeply, he was there. I missed him desperately. My thoughts were and had always been filled with the thoughts of him touching me, him looking at me as if he saw my soul with just one glance. I wanted him to be there, almost needing him there, but I was scared. Breeze was so deceitful that he had me rethinking everything that he had every said to me, including the Lust situation.
“Girl, don’t worry about it, you’ll be okay. Just don’t trip.” DeeDee joked. We were having a conversation about my big night and I had zoned out yet again thinking about Lust. As the day went on, I prayed that he would be there and that we would get a chance to reconnect.
*****
On our way back to the hotel, Mr. Cappello called DeeDee and told her that she, Ebony and I should meet him in the lobby of the hotel. I asked her what it was about but she didn’t even know.
“What’s good daddy?” DeeDee asked as she greeted Mr. Cappello with a big hug and kiss.
“I’m taking you girls shopping at the Bellagio. They have the best shops and I only want the best for you three.”
My mouth dropped open. Since my time at Fantasy Pictures I had really stepped up my shoe, handbag, and dress game but shopping at the Bellagio, that was a whole different ballgame.
“So why are we standing here for, let’s spend some money,” DeeDee said before giving him another kiss and taking his hand.
The shopping in Vegas was crazy. My mind was spinning when I saw the price tags. DeeDee was like a professional shopper for Ebony and I. She knew all of the major fashion players and what clothes were from what season. By the time we were done at the first store, DeeDee had racked up thirty thousand dollars while Ebony came at a close second at twenty two thousand, as for me, I only got what I needed, one dress that was under four thousand dollars.
“Okay, now it’s time for the real fun, the shoes. That’s what breaks or makes an outfit,”
DeeDee said as she led the way. Since my dress was black, short, and tight, I went with these sick Jimmy Choo Niagra Plex crystal adorned platform sandals. They were four inches and had a heel that looked like it had liquid inside of it.
“My, my, Jezebel, those are some sexy ass shoes,” Mr. Cappello said as he rubbed my back.
“Will you be putting them to use?”
I could tell that he was joking but I wasn’t going to joke back. He was still in fact Breeze’s father.
“Just to walk up on stage and accept my awards.”
“Ahh, come on, Jazzy, you know what they say, anything that’s done in Vegas stays in Vegas. Have some fun baby, it won’t hurt. Plus, I have heard that someone that you know really wants to see you tonight, that’s if he can make it.”
My heart skipped yet another beat. I knew t
hat he was speaking of Lust. Mr. Cappello stood and watched my reaction. I tried not to give him one but the smile that I was fighting spread slowly across my face.
“Look at her, she can’t even keep that big shit eating grin off her face. Puppy love is so cute,” DeeDee mocked as she walked over and pinched my cheeks like grandma would.
“Get the hell off of me, I’m not even thinking about Lust,” I said as I playfully pushed her hand away.
“Yeah, okay, we’ll see about that tonight,” DeeDee answered as we headed for the cash register.
Getting ready for the award show was hectic. Although I was a nervous wreck, the man and woman that were in my room to do my hair and make-up did an excellent job. I looked like a star, and not just a porn start but a Hollywood star. Looking at myself made me wish that I had made it the way I wanted to. I should have been sharing the big screen with the best of them. I was beautiful, talented, and headstrong. My down fall was my lack of patience. As a little girl, my daddy always made sure I wanted for nothing. It didn’t matter if it were a ten dollar toy or a three hundred dollar pair of shoes, if I wanted it, I got it. That was one of the hardest things to get used to once he left. I had to learn to be patient although I’m still not done learning as an adult. I wanted things to happen fast. I wanted them NOW and couldn’t wait a second longer. So when I got to Hollywood, I thought that my star would start to shine as soon as I got there. After months of trying with disappointing results and rising debt, I had to make a move. Fucking on film was never my first choice nor was it my only. I could have worked someone’s desk or counter, but where would that get me? I needed something that was going to put cash in my pocket and my face on a poster. Porn did those things for me. Porn made me a star. So as I stood looking at the girl I no longer knew, I wanted to cry and smile all at once. I was proud of her; she had come a long way. She had done so many things she had only dreamed of. She was known, women wanted to be her, men wanted her, she was desirable from all angles, but at what cost? She was diving deeper and deeper into the seedy world of porn. Her boyfriend has a girlfriend who would spit in her face if she could. Her man belongs to a real bitch, but that real bitch calls Breeze her man nonetheless. She hasn’t talked to her mother in god knows how long and would die if her mom found out what she really did for a living. Her father is gone and loves another child in her place, and the man that could have saved her soul, well…she kicked him out in a fit of rage.
PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans Page 24