“Did anyone else hear the doorbell ring, or am I high as fuck?”
“No, I think I heard it too,” DeeDee replied.
“I’ll go look. Somebody probably forgot their cell phone or something,” I said as I jumped up to go check it out. As I was walking toward the door I thought about the party, Blaze, Karma, and Tyree and couldn’t believe the lust pyramid that I had built.
“Who is it?” I yelled when I was close enough to the front door, but no one responded. As soon as I opened the door up wide enough to see who it was my mouth dropped and I froze up instantly. What was he doing here? Why did he come unannounced? Why does he have his suitcase? So many questions were running through my head, but I couldn’t think of any answers. I was shocked.
“Well aren’t you going to invite me in son?”
Chapter 19
So this is what being on top feels like.
I turned on my phone and put in a call to the Black Oasis’s owner Gina the next morning and confirmed that I would perform there that night. She told me that she would have my picture and name up in bright lights in front of the club and on a billboard within the hour. She wanted the whole city to know that Jezebel was in town. She also told me that there would be a delivery man with a rack of costumes for me to choose from and a car to pick me up so that I would be on time for my big gig at her club. I thanked her and was told to report to her club at six, I would be on at ten, sharp. After our conversation I turned my phone back off. I didn’t want anyone interfering with my time with Lust. If the world was ending, well that was too damn bad, I wasn’t taking any calls.
“So when did you start doing this?” Lust asked noticing how nonchalant I was about my big day. Little did he know, I was beaming with pride, excitement, and nervousness. I just wasn’t letting it show.
“Not too long. Jamar and that asshole put me on to it just a couple of months back. It pays well and is fast money. About two hours in and then I’m out.”
He smiled at me as if he could see right through me.
“Well, tonight sounds a little different. You may have to work a little harder than you do in L.A. and for much more time. This is Vegas, girl, you’ve hit the big time Jazzy.”
I could tell that he was somewhat being funny. He knew that even though I was playing cool, my heart was in my throat.
“What, you don’t think that I can deliver? Well, you just wait and see,” I said as I climbed unto his lap and straddled him.
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, baby, I know you can handle yourself off the pole. That show you put on for me last night was off the hook. But this is VEGAS, and I’m just telling you this because I want you to rock that shit. You gotta come harder, meaner, and longer on their asses down here.”
I could tell that he was in my corner and rooting for me. He didn’t let me know but he had been to that club before and knew that it was much more than your average strip club. It was a border line burlesque Vegas style show that not only turned you on but entertained you with its big show production. And here I was, about to perform with what sounded like only a few hours of practice.
“Well, how about you make me cum harder, meaner and longer right now?” I asked feeling my nipples get tender as they rub against his chest. Yes, he turned me on but he was also scaring me. With all that was going on, I never stopped and thought about how big this was. I was in the biggest city where women dominated the lust filled shows they danced in and here I was a newbie.
“Well, I ain’t never had a problem with that,” Lust said as he slipped me his tongue. As we proceeded to get what we needed, there was a knock on the door. I got off of Lust and answered it.
“Hello Miss Rodriguez, we have a delivery for you.”
I looked over at Lust and gave him the “What is this?” face. He shrugged his shoulders as I signed the delivery slip.
“You might as well have a seat, Miss, this may take a while.”
I watched as rack after rack of well-made costumes were brought in. The last bell boy stepped in with the biggest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen in my life. After tipping, the bell boys let themselves out and I read aloud the card that accompanied the flowers.
“It is our pleasure to have you at the Black Oasis. We hope you find that special outfit for your show tonight. Break a leg, Gina. P.S- Don’t forget to check out our marquee and billboard on the main strip.”
My heart raced. My body felt warm and tears formed in my eyes. I felt Lust arms around me and his encouraging words.
“Don’t worry baby, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just that when I look around and know that all of this is for me. When I think about my time here in Vegas, the award show, my accomplishments in such a short time, it, it, it’s just WOW, you know? I just gotta let it all sink in.”
He just stood there with me not talking. He let me look around, feel the clothes, and smell the flowers. I was proud of myself and he was proud of his girl. I seemed a little different to him, like I had grown, blossomed into a humble star. My good heart was not clouded with the allure of fame or fortune. I was still the person I thought I lost a long time ago. I was still Jasmine, and he saw her in me even when I didn’t.
*****
After skipping the sex session we were about to get into and taking a shower, I tried on what seemed like hundreds of costumes. Then I saw it. It was black, red, and gold. Real show girl like. I had a thong bottom, big head piece but there was no top.
“Damn, the one I wanted would be missing a top,” I said as Lust helped me look through the rack.
“Wait, Jazz, I think this is the top.”
When I looked in Lust’s hand all I saw was two pasties.
“This is going to be an interesting night, huh?” Lust asked as I held the outfit up against my chest.
“Damn, I can’t wait to see you in that tonight, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
I laughed at him as he grabbed his massive chocolate bar. I wanted him just as bad as he wanted me, but the phone rang.
“Hello Miss Rodriguez, I have a message for you. A Ms. Gina wanted you to know that the billboard is up. She wanted to know if she should send a car to take you to see it.”
I didn’t hesitate one minute before I answered, “Absolutely.”
Within five minutes I had gotten a call back letting me know that a car would be there to pick me up within a half an hour.
*****
The car couldn’t get cold enough for me. I was burning with excitement. Picture it, my name in big lights, and my picture bigger than life shadowing the Vegas strip, WOW! This was it! Lust held my hand the whole way there. We sat close, with me almost in his lap. Him kissing my neck and shoulder while telling me how happy he was to be there with me. Although you couldn’t squeeze an inch between us, the closeness I felt to Lust was beyond the physical. It hit me that this was the man I wanted to be with. Even with all that was going on, my mind still floated back to him, his smile, his hands and how they felt against my skin, his lips and how soft they were, how sweet the smell of his cologne was, how the sound of his voice sent chills down my spine, and how his love made me feel wanted, needed, and loved. As the car slowed and the privacy window went down and I heard the driver say the magic words.
“There it is, Miss Rodriguez, your billboard is straight ahead.”
I jumped out of the car so fast that I almost fell down. My eyes canvassed the scene until I saw it.
“Oh, my God, Lust, oh, my God.”
My grip tightened around his hand. I felt light headed, faintish almost.
“Tell the driver to call Ms. Gina and ask her if I can come in now instead of later. With all of this…,” I said while pointing at the picture of me that loomed over the city.
“I’ve got to be on point.”
Lust left my side as I gazed at the billboard.
“Tonight, at the Black Oasis, Fantasy Pictures own, JEZEBEL. Tickets on sale now, show at 10:00p.m.”
>
I read the electronic words over and over as they moved across the billboards screen. When Lust came back and told me that it was okay for me to go to the club early, I took a couple of pictures with the billboard in the background and jumped back in the car. So this is what being on top feels like.
*****
I got that same feeling when I arrived at the club. We got out of the car and I admired my name that appeared in red letters. Lust already had his camera out knowing that I would want a few shots. When I was done, I walked inside of the plush Vegas style club and was greeted with another bouquet of flowers and Champagne.
“Jezebel, I can’t tell you how nice it is to have you here at the Black Oasis. Tickets have been flying off of the shelf since we put up the marquee.”
I looked the big woman over and noticed her beauty before her size. She must have been standing at about six feet tall. Her platinum blonde hair had big curls past her shoulders with the help of extensions. Her make-up and clothes were flawless. She was big, but big in a way that would have all of the “brothas” drooling. She got close to me and gave a somewhat hard elbow to the side.
“I’m almost ashamed to say it but I am such a fan of yours, you really know your shit,” she said with a wink. I thanked her and looked over at Lust who was cheesing from ear to ear.
“Well, let me show you around, and is that Lust, he was in a film with you, right?”
I giggled at my fan. She was all beside herself. I could tell that she had gotten off to our movies many of time. I answered “yes” before she walked up to Lust and shook his hand.
“Come, come, we must toast. Here’s to Jezebel, Lust, me, the club, and PORN STARS.”
We laughed, we drank, we took a tour, and then we got to work.
*****
“You’re going to do fine baby, just relax.”
It had been a long day. I started rehearsing at around three and it was now going on 7:30PM Yes, my pole moves came in handy but this was way more of a showgirl’s type show than I thought. What was Mr. Cappello thinking when he put me up for this gig? I had to remember dance moves while wearing my costume in the first half of the show, than coming out in my thong and pasties in the second half. My mind was at ease when I thought of my second act because that was more on the stripping end. But remembering the choreography with six inch heels on had me on edge.
Lust could see the tension on my face as the make-up girl went to work on it. My leg wouldn’t stop shaking and my palms were wet.
“He’s right you know, I watched you out there, you’re a natural.”
The make-up girl seemed genuine, but my nerves were still rattled. I asked Lust to refill my glass with Champagne.
“Don’t overdo it,” she said while looking down at my drink.
“You don’t want to be wobbly on them heels.”
She had a good point. I took one sip and put the drink down. After she was done, the hair person came into my dressing room and did his thing. After that, the lead costume designer came in and dressed me. It was thirty minutes till show time and it was time to get myself together. I asked everyone to leave the dressing room, including Lust. I locked the door behind them and for the first time since I came out of the shower, I turned and looked at myself in the full length mirror. I took my breath away. I looked like a brand new person. Yes, I had on heavy make-up and my hair was big enough to make a Texas girl smile, but it wasn’t in that slutty porn way. I looked classy, clean, but still sexy.
“Okay, girl, you can do this. No falls, no slips, and no missteps. You’re gonna rock that shit.”
I said this over and over until I believed it. Fifteen minutes later, I was being led to the stage.
*****
The bright lights were almost blinding, which was good. Someone had told me that it was a packed house before I went out on stage and this way I wouldn’t have to see all of the peering eyes. The music started and the background dancers were out there doing their thing. I waited to emerge from what looked like water. My first costume had me looking like a mermaid. I went over the dance steps in my mind and once I was through the makeshift water, I did what I had practiced for hours. I moved my hips and kept up with the other girls as if I was a pro. Half way through the first set my body and mind relaxed and everything feel into place. I enjoyed the once intruding eyes. I marveled at their smiles and excitement. Their cheers and applause gave me a rush in a way that porn never did. Sure, being on the stage accepting my awards felt good, but this was pure; clear even, like I was supposed to be doing this full time. I fell in love right then and there. I wanted to be a show girl.
“Oh, my god Jazz that shit was crazy,” Lust said as he met me off stage after the first act.
“Sorry, but we have to get her changed,” the stage coordinator said as she pulled me away from Lust’s arms. I blew him a kiss and followed the hair, make-up, and costume people.
“Go back out, this second half is all for you,” I said before entering my dressing room. There was a seven minute interval between my first and second act. Everything and everyone was moving fast and before I knew what hit me, I was standing stage side in the costume that I picked out with Lust earlier that day. I waited for my cue and as soon as I got it, the lights dimmed and I made my way to the middle of the stage and stood between the two guys that I handpicked to dance with me. The spot light shined on me and it was SHOW TIME. We bumped and grinded to Maxwell’s Suite Lady. It was sensual, it was steamy, it was intense, and I could feel the want the audience had for me. It was as if they were in my world, the world I created for myself, where only I existed. Only my wants and needs mattered, and they were always met. I looked over at Lust and he was totally captivated by me. The thought of him made me wet and it showed in my dancing. One by one the men pulled at the robe I had on. They pulled at it tearing it off of me just like they were supposed to. They tore it all off until I was left standing in my thong and pasties. Water started to pour and it looked like rain. Our bodies glistened under the lights as our body parts slipped and slid off of each other. We danced until the breakdown, my favorite part of the song, came on.
The lights flickered and the strobe light was turned on. I pushed down one of the male dancers and climbed on top of him. We engaged in what most would think was full on sex. I rode him, moaning, thrusting, and shaking as if he were hitting all of my right spots. He threw his head back and moaned with me. The other male came behind me and rubbed his hands all over my chest, back, and stomach and acted as if he was kissing and sucking my neck. The red light was added to the strobe and with each flicker of the light; the audience was taken to the brink of total ecstasy. As we reached the show’s climax, in a way so did the audience, they were experiencing something new, something that would have them talking and fucking for weeks. As the song went off, as planned, my two dancers and I lay there breathless, sweaty, wet, and completely ravished, as if we just had the best sex of our lives. The room went crazy, screams and cheers roared on. I stood up and took a bow. I had done it. I was a success. I didn’t mess up and I didn’t let my fears cripple me. I took my fears on and refused to take a backseat to them, I now found a dream I never knew I had. I could now look past porn and know that there was something else that I could do. Being in adult film would not stop me from being the star I always knew I could be, outside of porn and without Breeze. I found my passion and I had the man I really wanted. Lust was right there once I got off of the stage. I fell into his arms and cried. They were not tears of sorrow or embarrassment, no, they were tears of bliss. Happiness that I hadn’t felt in a real long time, my heart was at ease and my mind was clear.
“You did it, baby, and I knew you could.”
Lust was so filled with happiness for me that he had to fight back his own tears. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling the way he did. Something special had happened out there and words would never be able to explain what it was. He had watched me transform as if I were a blank canvas before only to slowly gain col
or by the hand of a gifted artist. It was as if I were born, reborn in a way, right in front of him. He knew that this was nothing he had ever seen before and he also knew that it was something that he would never see again. He never said it but as he watched me his whole body shook, and he didn’t know why, but he did know that it was because of me and what just transpired on stage.
“Jeze-fucking-bel. What the fuck was that? Matthew wants to see you right away,”
Gina was talking a mile a minute. I gave her the “Who the hell is Matthew?” look.
“He’s my business partner, don’t worry about it, just come with me.”
I held on to Lust’s hand and followed Gina into her partner’s office. After ten minutes of talking to them, I was presented with a contract for two shows a month at thirty thousand dollars a show. With tickets ranging from one hundred seventy five dollars for what was considered the cheap seat, three thousand dollars for the first five rows, and with the first rows reserved for high rollers at five thousand dollars a pop, they would be bringing in serious money if they had a sold out show every time I came out.
“There wasn’t one ticket left to sell even if we needed one. The whole show, sold the fuck out, and that was within the first two hours of putting the billboard up. Are you sure you don’t want to make this a permanent thing? We could make a lot of money,” Matthew said as he leaned back in his chair. He smiled as if he could already count the money I could possibly bring in. If I agreed, he would up the price of admission and figured that if his place was licensed to hold up to five thousand people at once, well this could be the beginning of a beautiful and lucrative working relationship.
PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans Page 30