I grab both sides of his neck and pull him down to my mouth, and I take control this time, allowing my tongue to push the limits. I don’t kiss him softly. I kiss him deeply, biting his bottom lip as I pull away and come back for one last kiss.
He groans deep inside his throat, and I know that’s the sign we need to stop, or we’re going to get in trouble.
Eli takes a deep breath and takes both of my hands in his. “I want this, us, to stay, to last forever, Alex. I’m not sure how to show you.”
“That was definitely a great start.”
I look up at Eli. His lips are still swollen from our session on the side of Mamma Maria.
“I’m in love with you, Alex. I want to eat the lettuce. I want to find the carrots and eat those, too. I want to take the whole fucking farm with us if that means you’ll give us a chance. Hell, we’ll plant a peony farm, Red.”
Every bone in my body screams, Yes. It’s my heart that reserves the No Vacancy sign.
What if something happens to Eli? What if he dies, too? What if he contracts an incurable, deadly disease? What if he’s killed on the job?
“Look, I see your eyes right now. Your lip bite that you do. Talk to me.”
I lick my lips, biding my time, trying to figure out how to tell him I’m terrified. “I’m scared.”
He cocks his head to the side. “Scared of being in love or … what?”
I sigh, looking down at our hands that seem to fit imperfectly perfect together. “I’m terrified I’ll lose you.” There, I said it.
He closes his eyes, his jaw tightens, and he nods. He pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me. I take a deep breath and breathe in his cologne, his pheromones, him. Eli Young. I take it all in. Beautiful city. Granite Harbor. Rookie. The uniform.
I feel his cheek drop to my head, and a single tear falls from my eye.
“You can’t control time and death and when people leave this earth. You just can’t, Red.” He pauses. “Promise me, no matter what, that you won’t live your life scared to love because of something that might or might not happen. We can’t control fate, Alex.”
I breathe in.
I breathe out.
In.
Out.
I’ll go back to California, make Eli become a memory, give us time and three thousand miles, protect what’s left of my heart. I’ll have one-night stands to make up for his loss that will inevitably be my demise because I walked away from the truth. I walked away from love. And then I’ll come back to Granite Harbor in five years and look up Warden Young. He’ll be married with two-point-five kids, and Rookie will have a friend, a Labrador, named Gerti that the kids named. His wife will be hot. His kids will be adorable, and he’ll have this great life. And I’ll be stuck with man number eight, who has a penchant for phone sex and an ungodly lisp. But my heart won’t be vulnerable again. It won’t hurt like it does with Eli. Although leaving Eli will put his heart, my heart, through awfulness, at least we will have time to heal and be glad we didn’t fall deeper. How much love can you fall into in a short time?
The Resist Eli Young Campaign is losing momentum very quickly.
What if it was fate that brought us together? Who travels three thousand miles across the United States, from one ocean to another, to arrive in another small town, only because she received two postcards from who the hell knows?
What if fate can be good?
What if fate said that I was supposed to learn to love with Kyle? That maybe it was his journey, the world’s plan for him to do what he loved and died while doing it.
God didn’t talk to me about heartbreak. He didn’t tell me what it would feel like.
We’re all made differently. Some have a need to help others. Some have a need to protect. Some have a need to lead. Some have a need to be creative.
Would Eli walk into a burning house to save a child? Absolutely. I most certainly would question my choice of love if he didn’t.
What if Kyle went into that burning house, so I didn’t need to? Children have always been my weakness. Wanting to help. Wanting to save. Protect.
Give fate a chance, the words come into my head.
I look up at the man who wants to love me for the rest of our lives.
Eli looks down at me and kisses me on the forehead. “We will make a Celtics fan out of you yet, Peony Red.”
“Not a chance, Maine Man. Not a chance.” I stop and pull him down to me. I take his face in my hands. “I’ll give fate a chance.”
Twenty-One
Eli
October 19, 2017
She’s asleep, her head on my lap, and it’s almost eleven at night. I catch glimpses of her as she breathes in and out, wondering how I have gotten so lucky. How life works out. How sad things happen. Awful things. And, in that moment of awful, you think life is over. But, with the time that passes, life seems to right itself. You stretch into a new life, uncomfortable at times. The newness settles. A new normal finds its way into your daily routine, and then fate finds you just when you’re comfortable again. I didn’t expect Alex. She wasn’t part of the plan. But she waltzed into my life, unannounced, unexpected, and totally needed.
I pull the truck into the Malcomb Place driveway.
I lightly bend down and whisper, “Hey, we’re home.”
God, that sounded right. Everything about this situation seems right.
She tiredly sits up, and I grab my phone, shove it in my pocket, and get out of the truck. I walk over to the passenger door, take her keys that she already got out, pull her up into my arms, and carry her like a child to the front door.
Once inside, I carry her to the bedroom and lay her down on the bed where I start to undress her. I go to the drawers and hope to find some sort of pajamas, like the shorts and tank top I’ve seen her in. But I find a long sleep shirt with a cat on it. I assume it’s some sort of sleep shirt because it’s huge. I grab it and pull it over her head. I unhook her bra, pulling it through one of her armholes.
“This is the second time you’ve undressed me, Warden Young.”
A smile spreads across my face. I don’t know if she was awake the entire time. “You make it too easy, Alex.”
I set her back down against the pillow, turn off the light, kiss her forehead, and walk to the other side of the bed. I take off my own clothes, aside from my boxers, and climb in bed next to her without any intentions of sex.
But, when I pull her head to my chest, her hand makes its way to mine. She gently takes my hand under the hideous cat shirt and places it against her stomach.
“Alexandra, I have no intentions of making love to you tonight.”
She moves my hand up her stomach to her breast. Her nipple is erect and expecting my mouth.
Fuck.
“Eli,” she says in the dark, “we don’t have a lot of time left before I fly home. I don’t plan on sleeping my way through it. Not for a second.” She then takes my hand and slides it down to the warm spot between her legs.
She arches her back as I move my fingers, spreading her apart, making room so that I can give her what she needs. She gasps as I slide two fingers inside. I watch her in the dark, not needing to see the faces she’s making because I already have them memorized by her sounds.
I push my fingers deeper, feeling my own ache.
Her legs drop to both sides, giving me full access, and I move on top of her, first allowing my mouth to take in her warmth, flicking my tongue into her wetness.
She cries out.
I make my way up her body with my mouth, and then I slide inside her, trying hard as hell not to come on the spot.
Our eyes lock as I move in and out. I take her mouth with mine and kiss her hard and long, hoping I convey through this kiss that it’s forever. She’s staring back at me, her arms wrapped under my arms and around my back, her nails digging into me.
In and out I ease, knowing my time is coming soon, not wanting to explode without her first.
“I love you, Alexandra F
isher.”
She bites her bottom lip and pulls me deeper. “I love you, Eli Young.”
And we work toward a climax, and then our worlds explode.
When we’re finished, my body is completely relaxed. I feel her against the side of me. I pull her closer. She’s sound asleep, her nakedness surrounding me. I reach for my phone to set my alarm because of work. I text Merit about Rookie, as she watched him while we were gone. I tell her I’ll come get him early tomorrow morning.
Merit: Late night?
It’s followed by a wink emoji—or whatever those things are called.
Me: Thanks.
I notice a missed call from Grace. Fuck.
She must have received the divorce papers. Took them long enough. Christ. She didn’t leave a message, so I’ll gladly take that as a sign that she’s going to make this easier than I thought.
I set my phone back down on the nightstand, turn, and hold my future as if my life depended on it.
October 20, 2017
“Winter storm warnings are in place for Waldo, Knox, Lincoln, Kennebec, and Hancock counties. Expect eight to ten inches of snow. Late Friday afternoon, a winter storm warning is also issued for Southern Aroostook County, where eight to ten inches of snow is expected to fall between three a.m. Saturday and three a.m. Sunday. A winter weather advisory is in place for the rest of the state.” The television blares over the small chatter of a few customers—the Petes and the Prescotts—at Hello, Good-Pie.
Bob Prescott, the elected sheriff of Knox County, off duty, a wide smile spreads across his face. “Warden Young, good to see you, young man.” We shake hands.
Mrs. Prescott, also known as Judy, reaches over and gives me a hug. “Oh, Eli, so good to see you. Getting handsomer every time I see you. How’s your dad? Did you get our dinner that we left with Althena at the church?”
I don’t remember who the hell made dinners for Pop as Merit stressed about where to keep them all when Pop got home from the hospital.
“We did. Thank you,” I say, looking down at Alex. “Mr. and Mrs. Prescott, I’d like you to meet Alexandra Fisher.” I stay away from the word girlfriend because I’m not sure what the hell we are.
“Mr. and Mrs. Prescott, so nice to meet you.” Alex extends her hand to each of them so naturally, taking their hands into hers.
But something is instantly off about Judy. Her head tilts, and her face changes. “The Alex Fisher who wrote the Hero series? And I’ll Be Back? And—oh my.” Judy throws her arms around Alex. “Holy heavens, Bob! A celebrity in our sweet town of Granite Harbor!”
Alex’s eyes move to mine. “Nope, not a celebrity, just a writer.” She tries to awkwardly wiggle from Judy’s embrace, who’s talking a million miles a minute.
But it’s Clay who saves the day from behind the counter. “What are we all having this fine morning?” He leans across the counter, hands folded.
Judy and Alex turn toward Clay, and Alex touches Clay’s arm. I’m sure it’s a touch of thanks that he saved her from the Judy Prescott tornado.
“Warden Young, can I have a word with you in private?” the sheriff asks.
“Absolutely, sir.”
“I’d say to go outside, but the dropping temperatures would make for an uncomfortable conversation.”
“Randall, is it all right if we talk in back?”
Randall looks up from his cinnamon rolls that he’s ready to put in the oven. “Of course. Side room, off the restroom.”
We make our way to the back. Hello, Good-Pie is a thousand square feet total, which includes the kitchen, a place for the patrons, and the restroom.
“Haven’t seen weather like this this time of year in a long time,” I say. “Too cold for October.” Although it’s almost November. That’s when the temperatures really begin to dip.
“You working the Richardson case? Read through the case files this morning. Just wanted to bring myself up to speed.” Bob isn’t as young as he used to be, but he’s been an excellent sheriff, reelected for five terms for Knox County.
“The wild-game portion, yes. We interviewed the Richardsons. We’ve set up trail cams at all sites to see if the perp returns. Going to go collect them today before the storm hits.”
“State Police interviewed the Richardsons, too. Guess they really didn’t find anything too important.” The sheriff crosses his arms. He pauses. “You guys?”
I shake my head. “Nothing too out of the ordinary, no.”
“I understand law enforcement hasn’t been able to find any evidence from the perp. Damn shame what happened to the young woman.” Bob and Judy have two daughters around Lila’s age. I’m sure it’s more real for them. “Any information on the slain animals? Were they able to collect any human DNA?” Bob asks.
“No.”
Something falls in the hallway that adjoins the back room to the kitchen. I look just in time to see Clay swiftly moving away from the door.
Gasps come from the main part of the bakery. The sheriff and I come around the corner to see what’s going on. We watch the others as they watch the snow fall quietly outside.
Excitement builds from inside me—and not because of the snow. I was raised in Maine. Survived below-zero temperatures. Shoveled in it. Worked in it. It’s Alex. Her usually cool demeanor is enamored with the peaceful white that falls from the sky. I walk up behind her, wanting to put my arms around her. It’s something I’d do at home, but I’m not sure how she’d take it in the bakery, in front of others.
Leaning down, I whisper in her ear, “We need to go get the trail cams before this sticks.”
She nods, turning to face me, and whispers, “That’s if Judy will let me go.”
She motions down to their hands clasped. I chuckle to myself.
Alex turns to Judy. “It was so nice to meet you, Mrs. Prescott.” Alex gently puts her free hand on Judy’s arm, as if to say good-bye more subtly.
“Oh, you, too, Alex!” Judy throws her arms around Alex one last time.
“We’ve got work to do,” I say to the group as Alex grabs our coffees and cinnamon rolls from the counter.
She motions a good-bye to Clay and Randall.
We head to the truck, and I turn back to look at Hello, Good-Pie. I grin as I see the Petes, the Prescotts, and Clay and Randall all staring out the window—not at the snow, but at us.
“Look,” I say.
Alex turns her head and smiles. “Are they staring at us or the snow?”
“I’d say they’ve seen snow before. But they’ve never seen a woman as beautiful as you in person.”
“Oh, Warden Young, I’m sure you say that to all the writers passing through.”
She looks ahead, and I watch her. The snowflakes dance and stick to her face; some attach themselves to her eyelashes. Alex holds her hands out and tries to catch a few.
We walk to Alex’s side of the truck, only because she has the coffees. She’s gotten more adjusted to the door thing. She said I’d probably tire out soon from opening the door all the time, but I told her it’d take a lifetime. Before I let her in, I hesitate. Not sure if I should do this in town with people watching. But I do it anyway. I lean down, and I kiss her in the softest way possible on her cheek. I linger there for a moment and then pull away, looking down into her caramel-colored eyes. She stares back, and all is quiet as the snow falls around us.
“What was that for?” she whispers.
“For all the times Kyle can’t.”
I hear a hitch in her breath. I feel it.
A smile spreads very slowly onto the sides of her cheeks. “Thank you,” she says as her voice breaks, reaching up and kissing me on the lips.
She hesitates there. Maybe it’s fear, eating the lettuce and all, becoming broken all over again, but I need to reassure her it’s not going to happen. She takes her palm, places it against my cheek, and slowly pulls away.
“Well, good morning, you two lovebirds,” Ida says as she stands under the awning in front of Rings Pharmacy. She smiles
.
“Good morning, Ida.” I walk to her and touch her arm. “Where are you headed in this weather? You need to get home.”
“Oh, I know, Eli. Just couldn’t get home quick enough. Ruthie’s coming around with the car. Going into Rick’s here to get my pills.” She pats my hand. “You don’t worry about me. You worry about Alex and keeping her here, in Granite Harbor.” Ida winks at Alex. “I don’t remember the last time I had a strapping young man on my arm.”
“Well, I must say, Ida, he’s lucky to be on your arm. You’re sure you don’t need any help?” Alex walks over, something Grace wouldn’t have done.
“Oh, no, for heaven’s sake.” Rick, the pharmacist, comes out. “Warden Young, Ida.” He looks to Alex. “And you must be the writer that everyone is talking about.”
“Just Alex.” She puts out her hand to Rick. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, Alex.” He turns his head to Ida. “All right, Ida, let’s get you inside.”
We just collected the last trail cam, and the snow is really starting to fall.
“We’d better get home soon. Don’t want to get caught in this.”
“It’s so beautiful.” Alex stares out her window.
“It is but only when you have a home and a warm fire to get to.” I reach over and put my hand on her leg. “Hey, before we go home, let’s take Rookie and do a training exercise.”
I see a spot where we’ve done some training before just off the road, behind a grove of trees. The snow hasn’t yet blanketed the ground completely, and I think it will be good for Rookie, a little more challenging with the snow.
I grab two fired bullet casings from my ashtray in the truck and let Rookie out of the back. I walk to Alex’s side, but she’s already got the door open.
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