If Ben had been given the chance to redesign his house, he’d want it to be just like hers. He felt like a kid in a candy store.
He pulled out a chicken and decided to make a twist on coq au vin, except he’d make the stew without wine. His mother came up with the alternative recipe that used Balsamic vinegar in its place. It was one of his favorite dishes. He found a cold storage bin, almost like an in-kitchen root cellar where Liv kept potatoes, carrots and onions.
It would take him at least an hour to prepare dinner, she could talk to Renie as long as she’d like.
“Hey Mom, whatcha’ doin?”
“Well . . . I have kind of a lot to tell you.”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“Ben’s here.”
She heard her daughter’s phone drop followed by a lot of hooting and hollering. “You better not be joking,” Renie said when she picked the phone back up.
“Nope. I’m definitely not joking.”
“When? Why? For how long?”
“He got here on Monday—”
“Which is why I haven’t been able to get a hold of you. Okay, go on.”
“And he’s staying through the weekend.”
The phone dropped again, followed by more loud celebratory noises.
“Oh for goodness sake Renie,” she said when her daughter came back again. “It isn’t that big of a deal.”
“No Mom, it is exactly that big of a deal. Do you have any idea how happy this makes me?”
“Probably nowhere near as happy it makes me.”
“I’ll refrain from further dancing around my room until we’ve finished our phone call, but Mom, this is great. Really great. I’m so happy for you. I mean that sincerely and with all of my heart.”
“You know we didn’t get married or anything, right? This could just be, you know, a fling.”
“If that’s what it is and it makes you happy, I’m all for it. Seriously Mom, this is so cool.”
“It is. And I’m glad you think so. But listen, I called to talk to you about more than that.”
“Okay, I’m all ears.”
“I was thinking about this summer. I was wondering if you’d like to take a trip with me.”
“Of course I would love it, I love to travel with you. Where should we go?”
“I was thinking we could go to Europe. Maybe spend two or three weeks in Tuscany and take side trips from there. Then go to France for a couple more weeks, then end up in England for the same amount of time. Unless you want to try to fit Spain or Germany in too.”
“That’s a big trip.”
“It is, but I figured once you graduate we won’t have the opportunity to take a trip like this. You’ll either start working or go to graduate school. Either way, you wouldn’t be able take a couple of months off to travel.”
“I love it. It sounds wonderful.”
“But?”
“But what about Ben?”
“What about him? It isn’t as though I’m planning my life around him.”
“Why not?”
“Why would I? Renie, stop this. This thing between Ben and me is very new. Your summer break starts in less than two months. If we’re going to do this, I need to start planning now. I’ll have to hire someone to take care of the horses. I’m sure Bill and Dottie would be happy to recommend someone.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“I have. It’ll be our last big mother-daughter trip for quite a while sweetie. I want to do it up big.”
“Then I’m all in. As long as you’re sure.”
“Of course I am. Oh Renie, I’m so excited! I can’t wait to start planning. I’ll e-mail you websites and you can let me know what you think. I have a place in mind in Tuscany already, which is why I want to go there first.”
“This is so exciting . . . we’re going to have so much fun. And Mom?”
“Yes sweet girl?”
“It makes me so happy to hear you sound so happy, and so excited.”
“You make it sound as though it’s unusual.”
“It is Mom, and I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings. It isn’t as though you’re always miserable or anything, but . . . you’re not always happy either.”
“That does hurt a little, but I’ll take it in the spirit you mean it. Let’s focus on the positive, not the negative.”
“That’s exactly right. I love you Mom.”
“I love you too. I’ll call you in a few days and we can talk more about our plans.”
Liv practically danced her way back to the kitchen.
“Good conversation?” Ben asked, opening the oven to stir the stew.
“The best. I was afraid Renie might say she didn’t want to hang out with me this summer, and I would’ve been crushed. I wouldn’t have let her know that, but I would’ve been. But I’m happy to say she’s all in.”
Then it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to tell her that right now that was how he felt—crushed. “So, tell me what you’re planning.”
“We’ll leave at the end of May, a few days after she gets home.” Liv continued to tell Ben all she had suggested to her daughter. “We should be back early to mid-August, plenty of time for her to get ready for her final year in college.”
Ben’s mind was racing. Liv would be gone all summer. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea. “What about the horses?”
“Oh, that’s not too hard to work out. Bill and Dottie have so many people working their ranch, some who are only part-time. There will be one or two, at least, looking to pick up a little extra cash who would be more than qualified to man my little operation. I may even let them board here themselves, if we can work out the arrangements.”
“In your house?”
“No in the barn. Of course, in the house silly.”
“You’d let a stranger just come and stay in your house?”
Liv raised an eyebrow at him.
“This is different.”
“You’re right,” she said. “It’s different. I won’t be here when the other stranger comes to stay.”
She looked so happy, he wasn’t about to spoil it. But maybe he should think about leaving earlier than planned. He needed to get his head back on straight. To think he’d been trying to figure out what came next for them. He’d even considered asking her to come back to Crested Butte with him on Sunday. What an idiot.
“When will dinner be ready mon chef?”
“En quinze minutes mon amour.”
“Wow, maybe I should take you with me, do you speak Italian too?” You could be my translator as well as my chef.”
“Is that all you’d have me for? Not your lover too?”
“Mais, oui, mon amoureux d’abord.”
“Your lover first, until what? You grow weary of me?”
“I can say with confidence, I will never grow weary of you Ben.”
He couldn’t tell her how happy it made him to hear her say that. She had him wrapped around her finger so tight, he hardly recognized himself. Never before had a woman affected him this way. He was the one who had always controlled the situation, gotten what he wanted, pulled away when he wanted to. He’d never had a woman turn the tables on him, and he didn’t like this feeling, not one bit.
Liv walked over to the wine rack, pulled out a bottle and put it back. Then she walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.
“You can have a glass of wine, you know. Do what you would normally do. If you’d have wine with dinner, have it. I’m very comfortable in my sobriety Liv.”
“Are you sure?”
“I work in my family’s bar, I tour with a band. I needed to learn how to live my life being around alcohol. I just can’t drink it.”
“This is another thing I don’t know how to do.”
“Just be yourself. Do what you’d normally do and everything will be fine. If I’m having a problem, I’ll say so. Deal?”
“Deal.” She walked back over and looked at the wine aga
in. “What’s for dinner?”
“Balsamic chicken.”
“Hmm . . .” She pulled out a bottle of Bordeaux and opened it. “You make it so easy on me. Everything. Are you always like this?”
He laughed. “I’m never like this. I have an ex-wife who would be more than happy to confirm it.”
“So this won’t last?” As soon as she said the words, she wished she could take them back. “That isn’t what I meant, honestly, I was just trying to be funny, but it came out wrong.”
“I’ll see if I can figure out a way you can make it up to me.” He walked over and put his lips on hers, pulling her against him. “After dinner.”
Liv was flabbergasted by how good dinner was. “You weren’t kidding were you? I could hire you as my chef. It would be a tragic waste of the rest of your talents, but wow, you can cook. I’m beginning to think there isn’t anything you’re not extraordinarily good at.”
“Like this? Am I good at this?” Ben pulled her up from the table, walked her over and set her on top of the wide, cold, granite island. His hands went straight to the button on her jeans and pulled them off in one fell swoop. He grabbed the hem of her shirt, pushed it up, and then pulled it over her head. Next he reached behind her and unfastened her bra. All she had left on were her panties and they were clearly the next thing to go. “Lift up,” he said as he pulled them from under her bottom, tossing them into the pile of clothes that now scattered her kitchen floor.
“I’m ready for dessert,” he said as he lowered her until her back and head rested on the granite. He stood in front of her and spread her legs.
“Ben.”
“Shh, the no talking rule is back in effect.” He kissed down her stomach, then moved to the inside of her thighs. First one and then the other. She breathed in deeply, arching her back away from the coldness of the counter, bending into his warmth as he buried his mouth inside her.
He looked up at her. His gaze met her shoulders, the smooth curve of them, the jut of her collarbone as she arched her back, her ribs faintly visible beneath her satiny skin, the shadowy hollow between her breasts. Gently he pulled her toward him so her bottom was at the edge of the granite.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. His hand came up and fisted in her hair, pulling her up so his lips could meet hers. It was the softest, gentlest kiss, a brush of his mouth on hers, then again. Then he deepened the pressure, opened his mouth against hers and tilted his head for a better angle. Their tongues touched, tentative, questioning, but warm. They kissed again and again, long, delicious kisses, lush licks, clinging lips. Small whimpers came from Liv’s throat.
Ben lifted his mouth from hers and muttered her name. His hands slid back into her hair and held her head. “I could kiss you for hours, sweet Liv.”
Her hands slid up his chest and held onto his shoulders; her fingertips stroked his neck. Ben was lost. Her mouth destroyed him, soft, warm and eager, kissing him back like she was starving for him. Her desire for him ignited something inside him, a spark turning into a blazing fire, heating him from the inside out, burning him.
Ben’s clothes landed in the same pile on the kitchen floor just before he lifted her hips, and slid inside her. “Oh God,” she muttered. She leaned her head back until it touched the surface of the granite, her back arched with pleasure. God this man knew how to do this. She cried out, her skin tingled, her body shivered. She tucked her fist against her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut.
“That’s it baby, let go.” Her hands flew to his shoulders and she clung to him as she did as he told her to. Suddenly he moved away from her, no longer inside her.
“What?”
“Condom.” He lifted her up and put his hands under her thighs. “Put your legs around me.” He carried her into the bedroom and gently laid her across the bed. “Are you still with me?”
She practically purred in answer. He lay down next to her and pulled her over him. “You know what I like baby, skin on skin.” She gazed down at him. Words of love came to her lips, but she held them back. She couldn’t love him yet, couldn’t.
“It’s such a beautiful night, should we go for a walk in the moonlight?”
“We could. We could also stay right here . . . and talk.” Ben laughed to himself. When had he become such a big talker?
“What do you want to talk about?” Liv stopped herself from adding the world “now” to the end of her question.
“I’m thinking maybe I should head home tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“You could ask me to stay. Tell me you want me here with you.”
“Please stay. And Ben, I do want you here with me.” More than I should.
Friday and Saturday were a blur. They had dinner with Dottie and Bill but otherwise spent most of the two days in bed.
Ben stopped asking her questions and started telling her more about himself. He told her that while she was in Europe with Renie, he and the band would be on the road touring for the majority of the time. Their album was ready to release and the record company was pushing them to get out and promote it.
He said nothing about when they might see each other again. As far as she knew, he wasn’t even thinking about it. When he jokingly told her to check the CB Rice Facebook page for the tour dates, she got a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.
Sunday morning when she woke up, for the first time since he’d arrived, Ben wasn’t in bed next to her. She got out of bed and went into the bathroom. There was no sign of him, his toiletry kit no longer sat on her counter. She walked back out into the bedroom and looked around, his clothes and his duffel bag were gone too.
She threw on jeans and a sweatshirt, put her hair in a ponytail, pulled on her socks, and went in search of her boots. There was no sign of him in the living room or the kitchen either.
She went out the back door, holding her breath, willing his truck to still be in her driveway. It was not.
She wrapped her arms around her waist, putting one foot in front of the other, making herself walk in the direction of the barn. Halfway there she could no longer contain her tears. By the time she reached Micah’s stall, she let it all out, all the pent up emotion she’d been feeling in the last few days worked its way to the surface, and she cried.
Ben was gone, and he’d left without saying goodbye.
Chapter 8
She cried so hard she didn’t hear the truck pull in the driveway, or the barn door open.
“Liv! What’s wrong? Did something happen to Renie?”
“Ben? I thought you were gone.”
He held her close, and stroked the back of her hair. “I’m right here. Shh now.” He leaned back and kissed each of her eyelids. “You didn’t think I’d just leave, did you?”
She hiccuped trying to stop crying. “But your stuff. I woke up and you were gone, and your stuff was gone, and your truck was gone.”
Ben held her tight, stroking her hair, telling her again and again everything was okay. He tried to stop himself from . . . smiling. What kind of an asshole did it make him that he wanted to smile? And not just a little smile, he wanted to grin from ear to ear. She thought he’d left, and it wrecked her. And that made him happy. God he was a sadistic bastard.
“Liv, I wouldn’t have just left without saying goodbye. You should know that, if you know nothing else about me. I woke up, but you were conked out sunshine. I wore you out, and your body took the rest it needed. So instead of waking you up, I came out and fed the horses. When I was finished you still hadn’t woken up, so I went to put gas in the truck.”
“But the last couple of days . . .”
“What? I haven’t pushed as much? Haven’t made you as crazy hanging on you, asking you to promise me your heart, and let me stay forever?”
“Are you trying to be funny now?”
“Half-funny. Listen, it’s been what? A couple of weeks? Yeah, I realize I’ve been p
ushin’ you real hard, real fast. And no matter what I say, you won’t believe that I’m not usually like this, ’cause for whatever reason, with youI am like this.” He laughed, but then got a serious look on his face. “I’m not gonna lie to you Liv, leaving today isn’t going to be easy. Every part of me wants to figure out a reason to stay or beg you to come with me. And before you say anything, I know how crazy that sounds.”
Liv’s head rested against his chest, but he wanted to see her face. “Look at me baby.”
She turned and looked into his eyes.
“I’m not letting go of this. Not at all. But I am going to go home and give us both some time to breathe, time to figure out what this means. And it definitely means something to me. Does it mean something to you Liv? I want you to be honest with me. If it doesn’t, I need to hear it.”
“No, it does. I mean look at me. I was sobbing because I thought you left.” She turned her head so her cheek rested on his chest. “I feel more than a little foolish,” she whispered.
Ben put his hands on each side of her face, turning her to look at him again. “Don’t. Don’t be afraid to tell me how you’re feeling. And don’t feel foolish because you showed me either.”
Liv closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. She was stunned by her reaction to thinking he was gone. This had been such a whirlwind between them, and even from the beginning, it hadn’t felt like just a fling. It felt like so much more. She was going to miss him. A lot. And maybe instead of trying to play it off as if it didn’t matter, she should just tell him that it did.
“I’d rather have waited to rest after you left.”
“I have some time before I have to get on the road if you want me to wear you out again.”
And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) Page 10