Jane Doesn't Save the World

by Erin Grey

  “It’s a sign,” said Mitch. “This is right.”

  “It’s not a sign, you twit,” said Sandy. “It’s a bug.”

  “I feel it,” said Mitch. “In my stomach. This is right.”

  “It’s probably just indigestion. I think that thing Aidon cooked for breakfast was rat.”

  * * *

  The cave Aidon deemed safest for contacting Charis stretched out of sight. The ceiling glittered with neon pinks and yellows and greens—fluorescent insects and flying rodents and worms. I tried not to think too hard about the worms, but Gwendolyn shuddered anyway. A drop of water fell from a stalactite and splashed into the pool below which instantly lit up with psychedelic fireworks. A few seconds later, the display had dimmed to a pale blue glow, until another drop excited the shimmering creatures beneath all over again.

  Aidon dropped his pack and rifled through the contents. He pulled out his tablet and waited patiently as I wrote out the story, pausing now and then to ask him questions about Eorthe culture and history. When I was done, I read it back to him so he could make adjustments and convert it to the common tongue. Then he took a small round device—no bigger than a matchbook—from his pack and pressed a few buttons.

  Charis’ voice echoed through the cave. “Aidon? Is there an emergency?” Fluorescent lichen lacing the walls and floor flashed a wave of pink as the sound rolled over them.

  “No emergency,” answered Aidon. “Only a request. That device I sent with Quirinus—have you had an opportunity to look at it?”

  “As a matter of fact, yes. I was able to rescue the memory crisp. I’m having the contents translated as we speak.”

  “Jane has a plan.”

  A clatter sounded a long way away, from the direction of the passage we’d just left. I shivered.

  “Something not right,” said Mitch.

  “I told you, that rat probably isn’t sitting well.”

  “Not the rat, Sandy! Have a bad feeling.”

  “Me too,” said Gwendolyn. “I feel … itchy. And I keep thinking a worm dropped on my arm.”

  Emmy squirmed and whined softly.

  “Ok,” said Aidon to Charis. “We’ll wait here until we hear from you.” He disconnected the call and dropped the communicator back into his pack.

  Another clatter came from the passage. Then a more rhythmic, familiar sound.

  “Do you hear that?” I asked. A ticklish chill ran down my spine.

  “Footsteps,” said Aidon. “Whoever it is doesn’t care if we hear them.”

  There was no time to do anything except watch as a tall form made its way into the glow of the disturbed lichen. I caught a glimpse of rust and moss and dark, dark hair.

  “Hello, Jane,” said Zhian.

  50

  The bit where I get nuclear

  “Thank the godes I finally found you,” said Zhian.

  “Found your death, more like,” growled Aidon.

  Rage mixed with confusion. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked, stepping in front of Aidon.

  “I’ve come to save you.”

  Aidon let out a snort.

  “Save me?” I snarled. “So you can drug me to the gills and stash me away in your tasteless mansion? I’m kind of over your brand of saving.”

  Zhian’s shoulders slumped. “It was wrong of me to think that was the answer. I’m sorry. I realise now I should never have tried to cage you in like that.”

  “Oh, so you’ve thought of a better way to cage me?” I thanked Sandy for being quick with snarky comebacks.

  “Jane, please.” His too-beautiful eyes pleaded his case.

  “He looks so sad,” said Gwendolyn. “Maybe he really is sorry.”

  “He’s a bastard!” shouted Sandy.

  Mitch squeezed my heart. “He wants to save us.”

  Jasper implored me to maintain a cool head.

  “Wait,” I said, holding up a hand as if I could stop the madness with a gesture. “How did you find us anyway?”

  “I always knew where you were.” He looked pleased with himself. He had no idea what was wrong with his statement. Sandy immediately started looking around for something to throw.

  I took a deep breath in a pitiful attempt to steady my voice. “So it wasn’t Idesta. You’re the one who had the lock on my energy all along. You led the Regulators to me. To us.” I gestured to Aidon.

  “Poor Idesta,” said Gwendolyn. “We shouldn’t have assumed it was her.”

  Zhian looked at Aidon with murderous eyes, then turned them soft to look at me. “They weren’t supposed to hurt you, just run some tests and then give you back to me.”

  The words were a powerful enough slap to make me flinch. “You’re saying you actually wanted the Regulators to catch me?!” The irritation boiled up and spurred my legs into frantic pacing, my fists into tight balls. “I can’t believe you think any of this is okay. Are the Regulators on their way right now?”

  “No! Please, Jane,” he begged with sorrowful eyes. “Let me help you.”

  “Thanks,” I snapped. “But I think I’ll pass.”

  “Wait,” said Aidon, eyes narrowed at Zhian. “You said he had screens on his ship for watching entertainment broadcasts. But you weren’t watching for entertainment, were you Zhian?”

  Zhian’s mouth turned grim.

  “You were watching people, selecting candidates for the Regulators’ experiments.”

  I screamed. “You were watching me for them?! For how long?”

  Zhian switched back to his pleading look, but Gwendolyn and Mitch had lost their initial empathy, and it didn’t have the effect he wanted. “A while,” he said. “It’s true, I was observing those with mental abnormalities and turning in my research to the Regulators. I was hoping to find information that could help us improve treatment. And I was authorized to select candidates for further experimentation.

  “But then I saw you and … I couldn’t turn you in. I couldn’t leave you alone either. I wanted to look after you, protect you. I wanted you with me.”

  The anxiety had turned into palpitations. “Stalker and kidnapper. I can’t believe I actually cared about you.” I needed to expend energy somehow, and I looked around for somewhere to grow something, but I couldn’t focus.

  Zhian smiled in a way that made Mitch bilious. “You have feelings for me?”

  “Oh, trust me, the feelings I have for you right now are nothing to be happy about.”

  His mouth turned down. “I only wanted to help you, fix you so you wouldn’t suffer anymore. I didn’t know what the Regulators were really planning. After you escaped from the clinic, I made them tell me the real reason for bringing Earth subjects back.”

  “Bastards,” said Sandy.

  I scraped my nails over my scalp. “There is so much wrong with what you just said, I don’t even know where to start.”

  “I do,” said Aidon. “Jane doesn’t need fixing.”

  “You didn’t see what I saw,” barked Zhian. “She was going to kill herself!”

  “You had no right to interfere,” said Aidon.

  “You’d rather I let her die?”

  “I’d rather you let her make her own choices.”

  “We would all be dead if not for Zhian,” said Jasper.

  “Look,” I interrupted. “I know this sounds contradictory, and believe me, I’m just as confused—this thing is a whole ‘nother level of complicated—but I’m grateful you stopped me from ending it. I’m even grateful you brought me here.”

  “We’d never have met Aidon if he hadn’t,” sniffed Gwendolyn.

  I exhaled. “But that doesn’t make it right.” Zhian’s smug smile dissipated. “I’m not going with you to be your drugged pet.”

  “It wasn’t supposed to be that way! I was going to try and help you myself—make you happy. But then you said you’d rather have peace … and I only knew one way to achieve that. So I took you to the clinic to get the drug.”

  Zhian held out his hands and stepped towards
me, but I recoiled in disgust.

  “Jane, I’ve changed,” he insisted. “I’ve told the Regulators I’m not bringing any more people to Eorthe.”

  I tipped my head, considering him. “So, you’re not working for them at all?”

  He hesitated.

  My lip curled, and I snorted in disgust. “That’s what I thought. The money must be fantastic.”

  Zhian stepped towards me and reached for my hand. “Jane, we’re meant to be together. Let me take care of you.”

  I ripped my hand away and stepped back. “Don’t ever touch me. We are not meant to be anything except very far away from each other.”

  Zhian turned on Aidon, anger searing his face into a glowing rust. “It’s your fault. You turned her against me.”

  “I don’t care enough about you to turn anyone against you,” said Aidon quietly. “Besides, you seem to have no problem doing that all by yourself.”

  Zhian walked towards him, a picture of menace and malice. “Everything was fine until you turned up and took her away from me.” He shoved Aidon.

  “Really, Zhian?” sneered Aidon. “You want to fight like we did when we were boys?”

  Zhian showed his teeth. “I’m not a boy anymore. I’m not scared of you anymore.” He shoved Aidon again.

  “I’m not fighting you,” said Aidon.

  Zhian’s eyes fell on the bandage around Aidon’s arm, the one covering the nasty burns from the drone’s attack. “You don’t have to,” he said and ripped the cloth away. I watched in horror as the wound re-opened and the clotted blood melted to liquid.

  “No!” I jumped on Zhian’s back and tried to pull him back, but he easily threw me to the floor and continued splitting Aidon’s wound open, far past its original scope. Healthy tissue turned red, then raw. Blood gushed out of him, as though it had lost all ability to coagulate, and he collapsed to his knees. His metallic glow paled to matte in seconds.

  “Stop!” I reached into the ground and pulled up the thickest vines I could imagine, wrapping them around Zhian and pinning his arms fast against his side. He lost his balance and fell to the ground, but even his shock at my abilities didn’t defuse his jealous rage. He flicked his fingers in Aidon’s direction, and the wound spread up his arm. Aidon landed on his back, glasses clattering to the floor.

  “See, Aidon?” Zhian shouted. “I can kill, too. I can even make your body kill itself!”

  I flung every vicious thing I could in Zhian’s direction. Things with spikes and spines that get stuck in your skin forever and poison and stinging nettles. The pain cut off his attack, and he cried out.

  I fell to my knees next to Aidon, hands held helplessly over him. He was so weak, and I wasn’t a healer.

  “Please, please, please,” I begged whoever was listening, preferably a fairy godmother who’d magically fix it all.

  “Heal him!” I screamed at Zhian, but his grim mouth told me he would never help.

  “Stay with me, please.” I grabbed Aidon’s bandage and wrapped it around the wound, but it had grown so wide, the cloth could no longer cover it. He’d lost so much blood. “Aidon, please, I need you.” Now the tears were falling. Pointless, useless tears.

  My energy burned in my veins, eating me up with frustration. I grew large, soft leaves and wrapped them around Aidon’s arm. It was too late. His lustre had disappeared completely, leaving him dull as tarnished brass, and he was unconscious. I put my ear to his chest and could barely pick out his heartbeat. I lay there, head on his chest, clutching his hand, tears flowing freely. This couldn’t be it. I wouldn’t let it be.

  Energy pulsed and rang in my ears. I poured it into him, willing his blood cells to replicate, willing his heart to beat, willing every atom of him to renew and repair. A fire burned through me; the energy became a supernova. I fell back against the floor next to Aidon and arched as every atom inside burst into flame. Beside me, Aidon spasmed.

  Behind my eyes, I saw stars burst into life, galaxies unfurl, universes expand to infinity.

  And then a big black nothing.

  51

  The bit where I become the villain

  Waking up for me always meant aches and stiffness and the feeling that I hadn’t slept at all.

  This time was different.

  My eyes opened to colours more vivid than I’d ever experienced. I flexed my hands experimentally and found Aidon’s hand in mine. I looked over at him. His head was turned towards me, his bronze sheen back, his eyes bright and watching me. I sat up quickly and ripped the leaves and bandage from his arm.

  It was completely healed. Not a scratch.

  “How is this possible?” I breathed.

  Aidon sat up and smiled at me. “I have no idea. But that’s becoming a theme where you’re involved.”

  I looked at my hands. The scratches and cuts from our journey were all gone. And I felt amazing—like I could climb Everest16.

  “I’m just a gardener,” I said, staring at my fingers as if they’d provide answers.

  Aidon chuckled. “You’re nothing like any gardener I ever knew.” He tilted his chin thoughtfully. “You were able to create plants from nothing. They must have been the organisms that came naturally to you. But they’re obviously not the only things you can create.”

  “I was thinking about blood,” I mumbled, mind spinning to piece everything together.

  “Blood?” Aidon laughed. “Spilling it or saving it?”

  “No, I mean … you’d lost so much blood. I was begging your blood cells to reproduce faster so your veins wouldn’t collapse.”

  “What a medical mind you have,” said Aidon with a smile. “It looks like you got more than my blood cells to reproduce. Or maybe you created cells from nothing.”

  “It felt like … a fire. Like an explosion that set off a chain reaction.”

  “Whatever it was, it saved my life.” He took my hands in his. “Thank you.”

  My vision blurred as tears welled up. “I thought you were dead.”

  He put a hand to my cheek. “Now we’re even,” he said with his characteristic half a grin.

  “You jerk.” I pulled my hands back and rubbed at the tears all over my face, surreptitiously wiping away the leaking mucus from my nose at the same time. My gaze fell on Zhian, who lay groaning where I had left him entangled in all kinds of mean plants. He was a worse jerk … who needed dealing with.

  “You sick bastard,” I shouted as I stomped over to him. “You tried to kill Aidon! My link.”

  Zhian’s eyes widened, although he continued to pant from the pain.

  “Good,” said Sandy and Gwendolyn simultaneously.

  “Gwenny! High five!” called out Sandy approvingly.

  “Your link?” choked Zhian. Shock, then disappointment, then anger chased each other across his face. “It’s not true,” he said. “Even if he was, I would never do anything to hurt you.”

  I bent over until my nose almost touched his. “Too. Late.” I raised up a cactus on either side of his head. I was angry, no, livid. But I was also sad. Because he’d taken a chunk out of my heart. I couldn’t help caring for someone who had been hurting so much, but still showed me kindness and compassion, never mind his sketchy motives. The tears kept falling, tightening my throat.

  “You’re a complete and utter bastard: taking me away from Earth—”

  “You were going to kill yourself!” he yelled. “I saved you!”

  “You also gave the Regulators the means to catch and experiment on me.” I knelt beside him, pulling out the dagger that Quirinus had given me. “You didn’t want the real me, the broken me. Like almost everyone else, you wanted to turn me into your idea of normal and perfect.” I leaned over him, careful to avoid the spiny plants sticking out of his flesh. Mitch wept for his pain, and I retracted everything I’d attacked him with, leaving only the thick vines to hold him in place.

  “You were so kind,” I said, resting my hand on his breastbone and stroking downwards. “You made me trust you.” I laid
the tip of the dagger at the bottom of his sternum. “But I’m not perfect. I’ll never be perfect. Deep down I’m just a cold, heartless, hateful bitch.”

  Yes, purred the Deep Dark. This is who you really are.

  “And in all your efforts to fix me, you managed to bring her to the surface. You messed with a monster, and this is my revenge.”

  I pressed on the dagger, preparing to push up towards his presumably black heart.

  16 Well, maybe not Everest. I felt healthy, not reckless.

  52

  Deep Dark

  The little girl can see that the woman begging at the traffic light is very thin. She must be hungry. A small boy clings to her hand, dirty fingers plugging his mouth.

  “Why are they begging, mom?” she asks.

  Her mom tightens her fingers on the steering wheel. “They don’t have enough money for food, pumpkin.”

  “Can’t the dad get a job?”

  “It’s not so easy. Lots of people can’t get jobs, even though they want to work.”

  The little girl watches the begging mother lean towards an open car window, but it quickly rolls up.

  “We have to help them!”

  “Oh, sweetie,” says her mom in a very sad voice. “We help as many people as we can, but we can’t save everyone.”

  “But it’s not fair.”

  “No, it’s not. But it’s how it is.”

  “I want to do something.”

  “I know, pumpkin.”

  “I have a sweet I could give him.”

  The light changes, and the mother pulls her son to the side of the road. The little girl begins to wind down her window to hand over the sweet, but the boy trips and falls, and she gets a fright. The cars are already speeding past, and she’s scared he’ll get run over.

  The boy has skinned his knee and howls out his anguish. His mother picks him up and steps onto the pavement, her skirt brushed by a passing car that did not slow down for them.

  She watches them get smaller and smaller through the back window and sees the mother is crying too.