by Warren, Mike
*
The next morning, I woke up early, ate my breakfast, and gathered my book bag for school. I was looking forward to going to school lately because our seventh grade class had gotten a new math teacher, Mr. Jamison. And, honey, was he fine. I would sit at the front of the class just so I could get a better look at him and check out the huge print in his pants. I often had to catch myself from staring too long, being afraid that someone would catch me.
I thought to myself, if my brother was as big in the dick department and only sixteen going on seventeen, Mr. Jamison, who I found out was twenty-eight, had to be twice or maybe three times as big, right? After all, I had mastered the art of giving a hand job, so in my mind, I couldn’t help but think what it would be like to do the same to this full-grown, fine-ass man.
Now, I may not have been that smart when it came to relationships between men, because I’d never been in one, but I was willing to learn. I had a straight 4.0 GPA and was Mr. Jamison’s favorite student. I was the first one in his class in the morning and the last one to leave. I would ask him for additional assignments just so I could spend that much more time with him. And he would definitely challenge me by giving me twelfth-grade math assignments, which I would always get right, and he would look at me with such pride. At the time, I thought it was love. Humph! Silly me, duh!
Some of the boys in my class would still call me a punk or sissy from time to time, but I was so ahead of them mentally, I paid them no mind. I had began to relate more with the girls in my class and how they felt about these stupid little boys who didn’t know the difference between a noun and pronoun, or a verb and an adverb. Well, you get my point.
My best friend in junior high school was this girl named Robin Parker. She knew I was as gay as a pocketbook full of dicks, but she loved me just the same. Robin and I both thought Mr. Jamison was fine, and we would kee-kee and holler on the phone for hours and in person as to who was going to marry him first. A little plump for her size, Robin was my first fag-hag friend. She lived around the corner from me, so we would walk each other to school and home together.
One day as we walked home from school, Robin wanted me to meet her over at the recreational center up the street from where we live, so she could point out this boy she liked so much. She didn’t know if he was gay or not, so she wanted me to meet him and pull out my gay radar and let her know if I thought he was gay. I told her I would meet her there, even though my mother had punished me several days before and barred me from coming out of my room, let alone outside. But, hell, I was willing to take a risk, especially when it came to checking out boys.
*
I opened the door and listened to see if anyone was home. I knew my mom would be at work, but I didn’t know if Keshia was in her after-school program or over our neighbor’s apartment waiting for me to pick her up. As for Ray, he came home when he came home.
I put my book bag down and went next door to see if Keshia was there. “Hello,Ms. Washington. Is Keshia here?” I asked, standing outside the door.
“Good afternoon, Cameron. Yes, your sister is here. She’s been waiting for you.” She yelled inside her apartment with the door open, “Keshia, your brother is here!” Then she said to me, “She will be out in a moment. Would you like to come in and wait for her?”
“No, ma’am. Just tell her to come home, and I’ll leave the front door unlocked for her.”
“Okay, Cameron. You’re such a sweet little boy.”
God, I hated when Ms. Washington said that. Every time I came there to pick Keshia up, she would say, “You’re such a sweet little boy.” Humph, if she only knew how sweet.
I went next door to our apartment and waited for Keshia by the door. I was trying to think of a way I could sneak out and meet with Robin, but nothing would come to mind. I thought, May be I could get Keisha to take a nap. After all, I would only be gone for less than an hour.”
Keshia came running through the door. “Cameron, I’m hungry. Would you fix me a grilled cheese sandwich please?”
“Did you do your homework?”
“Uh-huh. I did it over Ms. Washington house,” she replied, throwing her book bag down on the living room couch. “You gonna fix me a grilled cheese sandwich?”
“I’ll fix you a grilled cheese sandwich if you promise not to tell Mommy I went to the recreational center.”
Keshia smiled. “Okay, I promise.”
Within minutes, I’d fixed her a grilled cheese sandwich along with a glass of milk and watched as she ate and drank until she was full. I then proceeded to change my school clothes and put on a tight pair of jeans that showed off my small shape, and my favorite blue sweater that fit perfectly.
As I headed to the front door, Keshia said, “Orrr, I’ma tell Mommy.”
See, that’s why I couldn’t stand this little bitch. “Keshia, you said if I fixed you a grilled cheese sandwich that you wouldn’t tell,” I stated, trying to remind her of our agreement.
“Nah,” she replied, flicking out her tongue and running into our mother’s bedroom.
I could have run after her, but if I did, I would have punched her in the throat and she wouldn’t have been able to say shit. But that would have gotten me in more trouble with Mother.
I didn’t know what I was going to do. Do I stay in, or do I sneak out and have this little bitch run her mouth?
We lived on the second floor, and I could hear all the other kids outside playing and having fun. It was a warm, sunny day, and inside this apartment was the last place I wanted to be.
I kneeled down and lifted up the window in our living room that faced the square in our neighborhood and watched as the guys played basketball while the girls sat on the bleachers giggling and checking out the guys.
“Yo, Ray, pass me the ball. I’m open,” I heard one of the basketball players yell.
“Man, I got this!” Ray yelled back, running down the court.
I wasn’t a big sports fan, but I did enjoy watching Ray play ball. He was good at any sport he played. He was on the varsity football and basketball team at his school. Not that it was any secret, but the kids in the neighborhood didn’t know that Ray and I were even related. I guess that’s because I was so light-skinned and he was dark-skinned, and we had different last names. Mine was Jenkins, his was Watson.
Honey chile, I just couldn’t take it any longer. This cabin fever was driving me crazy. I had been in this damn house for the past few days and was fucking tired of it.
I closed the window and marched out the front door.
Keshia yelled in the background, “I’ma tell Mommy.”
“Go ahead, you rug rat. I don’t give a shit!” I climbed down the steps heading to the front door of our apartment complex.
Once I was outside, I felt free. The warmth of the sun shined on my face as I tried to stare at it. Needless to say, I lost that battle, but it felt good.
“Hey, Cameron!” Robin yelled. “Come here.”
I looked and saw that Robin had just taken a seat over at the bleachers where the older girls were sitting. As I walked over to where she was, I heard some of the guys around my age whisper, “Punk,” and “Sissy,” as I switched by. I wasn’t bothered by that, but I guess they called me that because of the way I dressed and the way I walked. I had a natural switch as I walked. I think some thought I was doing it on purpose, but I wasn’t. That was just how I walked. I couldn’t help it. Jealous bastards!
“Hey, girl,” I said, greeting Robin with two snaps of my finger. I only snapped my finger from time to time because Robin always got a big kick out of it. She said it reminded her of the two gay guys on the TV show In Living Color.
“See that guy over there with the red shorts on?” she said, pointing to one of the guys playing basketball with my brother.
“Yeah, girl. Whew, chile,” I said, fanning myself.
“That’s the guy I was telling you about earlier.”
I watched him run up and down the court. “Hmmm. Girl, he is fine
, but don’t you think he’s a little too old for you?”
“No,” she replied with attitude.
“Well, he looks to be around seventeen or eighteen, and you’re only thirteen. Ms. Thang, what he gonna do with you?”
“Humph. Anything he wants.”
We both broke out laughing.
“Girl, I’m skurd of you,” I responded, rolling my neck from side to side.
I didn’t know what it was, but whenever I was around Robin, the girl in me just came out. I think that’s because I could be myself around her, and that’s what she expected from me. I didn’t dare act this way around my mother. She would’ve knocked the cowboy shit outta me, as she would say.
Robin whispered in my ear, “Now, all we have to do is get you a boyfriend too.”
“Chile, boo,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Hmmm.” She pointed at Ray. “I think he would be your type.”
I so wanted to tell Ms. Thang he was my brother, that we slept in the same bed each and every night, that he let me jerk him off from time to time, but I was afraid she might tell somebody, and word would get back to my brother.
The older girls got up from the bleachers and formed a line. They started chanting the name of one of the basketball players, saying, “Junior, Junior, he’s our man. If he can’t do it, nobody can. Junior, Junior, he’s so great, if you make this basket, I’ll be your date.”
Eventually, Robin got up and started chanting along with the other girls. “Come on, Cameron, join in,” she said, waving her hand at me to come join them.
I hopped my little fast yella ass down off the bleachers and joined right in and didn’t give it a second thought. After chanting a few times, I began adding some dance steps along with the chanting.
“Junior, Junior, he’s our man. If he can’t do it, nobody can. Junior, Junior, he’s so great, if you make this basket, I’ll be your date. Yeah!” I yelled, kicking my legs high in the air. Chile, I just knew I was the shit. None of them bitches had anything on me.
Next thing I knew, Junior came over to where I stood and began cussing me out, calling me, “faggot this,” and “faggot that,” and then punched me dead in the mouth. My little yella ass fell to the ground so hard, I swore I heard my ass bone crack. I was in so much pain; I didn’t know what hurt more, my ass or my mouth. All I could do was lay there and cry.
Suddenly, there was a lot of yelling, and everyone started to gather over by the basketball court. I tried to get up but couldn’t. Robin saw that I was having a hard time, and she came over to help.
Once I got up, we got closer to the court, where I saw my brother beat Junior’s ass so bad. If Junior’s homeboys didn’t stop Ray, he would have killed him right then and there.
“Come on, Ray, you made your point, bruh. Go inside before you get locked up, man,” his boy said.
Just then we heard the sound of police sirens coming from all directions.
“You betta run, nigga,” Junior said, as he lay on the ground. He spat blood. “I’ma kill yo’ ass.”
*
That evening before dinner, Mother wanted to know what happened to my lips, swollen from Junior punching me in the mouth. I told her I got in a fight at school. But my sister, with her big mouth, told my mother that I didn’t get in no fight at school and that I went outside when I wasn’t supposed to and got in a fight on the basketball court.
Mother sent me to my room without dinner and told me she was gonna slap the cowboy shit outta me.
Whateva.
I didn’t mind being sent to my room, because Ray had stayed in our room since the fight earlier that day. Don’t get it twisted, he wasn’t hiding out or scared to go outside because of Junior. His boys thought it was best that he stayed in, so five-0 wouldn’t find him out on the street and lock him up.
Besides, I was glad he had stayed in, because I wanted to thank him in whatever way I could for standing up for me. He told me whenever I was ready for some dick, to come to him first, right?
Chapter 4
As I entered our bedroom, Ray was laying across his bunk listening to rap music on his stereo. Personally, I didn’t like rap music, but Ray seemed to love it. I climbed up on my bunk without saying a word, because once Ray was into his music, he didn’t like to be disturbed.
After thirty minutes or so, Ray turned off his rap music, turned on The Quiet Storm, and began conversation.
“Hey, baby boy.”
“Yeah.”
“What you doin’?”
“Nuf’n.”
“Cool, cool.”
“Hey, Ray.”
“What?”
“Thanks for standing up for me today.”
“No problem, baby boy. Ah, can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do bitches get upset with a nigga when other bitches come on to them?”
I never knew why Ray asked me these kinda questions about the relationship between a man and a woman. I guess he thought that since I only hung around females, I was close to a being a female without being one . . . if that makes sense.
Lately, he’d been talking to me about his relationship with his girlfriend Jasmine, some hoochie he’d met at some party about six months ago. I call her a hoochie because she barely wore any clothes, wore these big-ass hoop earrings, and was ghetto as hell. I will give her credit for having a nice body. She was about my height, brown skin, small waist, and nice little bubble ass, but of course, her body wasn’t as shapely as mine. Anyways, she thought she was all that because her father was a doctor and they lived in a well-to-do neighborhood.
“Yo, baby boy, you fall asleep or sumf’n?”
“No. I was just thinking about your question. So what happened? What did you do?” I knew my ladies’ man-brother done probably hit on some other hoochie right in front of Jasmine.
“I ain’t do nuf’n. Last weekend I took her to this nice restaurant, and the waitress, a short, sexy honey, started coming on to me, and she got mad at me. And I don’t understand that shit. Why do females do that?”
“I guess she thinks you might like her better.”
“Like her better? I don’t even know her,” Ray replied, sounding frustrated.
“I don’t know, Ray. Maybe Jasmine thought the waitress was better-looking than her.”
“Regardless of that, all I know is, she hasn’t given me any pussy since then, and a brotha got needs. Shit!” He grabbed his dick.
I don’t know if that was an invitation for me to say something or what. The only thing Ray had allowed me to do was jerk him off, and I don’t even know if he had ever thought about sticking his dick in me. I knew he liked the way my butt looked because sometimes when I jerked him off, he would ask me to take my pants off, so he can see my butt while I jerked him off.
“Yo, baby boy,” Ray whispered.
“Huh?”
“You ever fucked a girl before?” he asked in a genuine tone.
“Ewww, no.” I frowned my face up. Just the thought alone, I felt like throwing up.
“Ah, baby boy, you don’t know what you missing, yo,” he replied, still pulling on himself. “Dayum, I’m horny as a muthafucka.”
I really wanted to feel what it felt like to have a dick in me. Although a part of me was scared, another part of me wanted to experience what Robin had been telling me about. You see, Robin lost her virginity when she was twelve, and she made it sound like the best feeling you could ever have. I felt now was my chance and wasn’t about to blow it.
I climbed down off the bed and started taking all my clothes off while my back was facing Ray. As I pulled my drawers down, I bent all the way down to my ankles so he could get a better look between the crack of my virgin ass. He had his eyes closed, but I knew he was still awake because, as I looked over my shoulder, his eyelids were fluttering and he began to masturbate.
“Hey, Ray,” I whispered.
Ray stopped playing with himself. It was as though he’d fallen asleep, but something t
old me he was playing possum because no one could fall to sleep that fast.
“Hey, Ray,” I whispered again.
Ray moaned and opened his legs wide, allowing the covers to fall farther down his torso. I saw his swollen dick laying against his leg. I looked over on the dresser to see what I could use so my butt wouldn’t be so dry once I tried to stick his dick up in me. Hopefully it wouldn’t hurt as bad. Robin told me that once I decided to let a brotha up in me, make sure they had some Vaseline and a condom. I knew Ray had some condoms, but I didn’t know where they were. I really didn’t care because it wasn’t like he could get me pregnant, and I wasn’t worried about no diseases, this being my first time.
I grabbed the petroleum jelly jar off the dresser and sat it on the floor next to our bunk bed. I climbed in between Ray’s legs and pulled the cover all the way off. I kneeled there looking at his beautiful piece of wood throbbing and moving on its own. I reached and grabbed his hard penis and began to slowly move my hand up and down his shaft.
Ray began to moan and squirm like he always did.
After a minute or so of playing with his penis in my hand, I leaned down and placed the tip of his penis in my mouth. As soon as he entered my mouth, his body started to jerk. I knew he was enjoying it. I didn’t want him to cum, so I took him out of my mouth.
Once his jerking and breathing had calmed down, I took him in my mouth and this time, I let it go in as far as I could without choking. It was amazing how warm his dick felt in my mouth as I proceeded to go up and down on his manhood.
Suddenly, I began to taste this salty substance coming from him. I knew that was pre-cum, based upon what Robin had told me about her first experience in sucking a dick. And as much as I enjoyed sucking my brother off, my jaws were beginning to hurt. Besides, give me a break…this was my first time sucking a dick.