by Jade Cary
“And what makes you…hic…think I will allow this in the f-f-future?”
His mouth twitched. The bastard was trying not to smile. “I don’t recall giving you a choice in the matter.”
“I’m not a child, Jed—although I can’t help but feel like one at the moment.”
“I know you’re not.” He turned my face to him, his eyes serious. “I want you to understand why this happened. Why did I spank you? And don’t say because I’m awful.” He smirked. “I already know that.”
“I understand why.”
“Then tell me. Tell me why I spanked you, Chandler.”
“Because I got behind the wheel of a car while I was slightly intoxicated, and then I lied to you about it.”
“Yeah. And ‘slightly’ is a matter of opinion. To me you were a bit over the half-way mark of slightly.”
“And then you made a big deal out of it.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes you did. You overreacted and tried to kill me.”
“Now who’s overreacting?” He brushed my hair off my face. “Yield on this, honey, because if you cannot understand why I did this I’m going to have to do it again until you get it. You’re too important to me to let this kind of stuff go.”
I let that sit a moment. “That’s flattering, I suppose. Other couples talk about this stuff without all the…slapping of flesh.”
“And we talked beforehand, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we did.”
“This is another level. Get behind it.”
“I’m sure there’s a law against this.”
“There probably is. Would you like for this never to happen again?”
“It was awful.” A little guilt was setting in, which goaded me into showing as little remorse as possible. “I don’t want you to do it again.”
“I won’t, as long as you don’t give me a reason to.”
“Sounds arbitrary to me.”
“Imagine what a responsibility that is—for me.”
“Oh, yes; A big responsibility. I don’t need you to be responsible for me, Jed.”
“It comes with loving you. I can’t help it.”
I blinked several times and my nose stung anew. “You love me?”
“I do.” His smile was tender, precious. “I love you, baby. I tried not to, tried to wait until you came back here a few times, or for good. But I’ve fallen in love with you. I’ve gone against myself more times than I wish to admit on account of you. I can’t help it.”
“Well, I’m sorry I’m such a bad influence on you,” I sniffed.
Jed chuckled. “Me, too.”
“Do you feel as terrible about this as I do?”
“Yes. Hearing you cry like that tore me up.”
“Then how could you continue, after I begged you to stop?”
Jed lifted me and shifted my position on his lap, then looked over my head out the windshield. A gentle breeze blew in through the open passenger door and cooled my heated buns somewhat.
“Because I needed to get my point across. Did I?”
“Most effectively. And now I must agree to this?”
“I think you already have. Second spanking I’ve given you in a week, and oddly enough, you’re still here.”
“I’m going to have to think that through, once I get my head back.” After a minute’s worth of rubbing and kissing of my hair, I was ready for clarity.
“I should have you castrated for this on principle alone.”
“Then what will you do?”
“You’d still have a tongue—unless I decide to cut that out, too.”
“Come at it any way you see fit, darlin’.”
“You’re just…determined…to…to spank me! Willy-nilly!”
“They won’t all be like this,” he went on, rubbing my butt and petting my hair. He had my attention.
“Pardon?”
“Be a good girl and I’ll show you what I mean.”
“I don’t like you,” I said, hanging on him for dear life. “I don’t want to be good.”
The bastard laughed at me. “Petulant.”
We were quiet for a long time, the hitch in my breath and the yakking of the magpies the only sounds.
“May I ask a question?” I finally said.
“Of course.”
“What were you feeling during this…this horrid event?”
“Huh.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. Huh.” He paused a moment, and then said, “Well, I suppose the first thing I felt was proprietary.”
“There’s a word you don’t hear in the twenty-first century—as it relates to humans.”
“Sorry. You want me to answer, or what?”
“Yes. Go on…I think.”
“Truth?”
“Please.”
“I thought, as I’m driving down the highway and you’re counting crosses, ‘No woman of mine is going to act this way’.” He jiggled me a little. “Still with me?”
Something warm swirled through my body. I should have been indignant, I should have stood on his head and waved some sort of feminist flag. Truth was, I had no idea what that looked like. What I was, and what I’d always been, was a free woman. And that statement right there turned me the fuck on.
“Yes.”
“And I decided before I pulled over that you were getting your uncovered tail busted. I figured it’d make or break us. That we were still okay after that first one gave me courage.” He shrugged. “Then I got hard.”
“Jesus.”
“Sorry. You ass-up over my knee…damn, Chandler. What can I say?”
“Jeez,” I said again.
“And I’ve got a little secret for you, babe,” he whispered
“I’m not sure I want to hear it.”
“Seeing you cry, and knowing I was the cause, hurts deep.”
“Good.”
“Don’t sass me, honey.” He gave me a gentle squeeze and moved slightly beneath me. “Can you feel that?”
I could. The man was rock-hard.
“I like the control, certainly. And, honey, turning your ass red while you’re over my knee…I can’t explain it. It’s a…thing with me—hurting you aside.”
“Did you hear me sobbing my brains out?” I said with some edge. “How could you…enjoy this?”
“That’s where it gets complicated. And yes, I did hear you sobbing your brains out. It tore me up. I’m not a sadist, Chan. I did not enjoy that part; believe me. But, I did notice something else.” His palm stroked my heated buns and brushed over the apex of my thighs. “Miss Asher, I do believe you are wet,” he whispered in my ear.
“I am not.”
“Bratty.” He sighed. “Yes, you are.” Jed slipped my flannel shirt off my shoulder and placed tender kisses across my heated skin. His finger glided between my legs from the back. I gasped, my breath quickening. I opened my legs in wanton fashion and he glided his fingers easily over my sensitive nub. I was quite wet, yes. Damn him. My eyes drooped and I lost focus.
“I want you to understand something.” He brought his fingers to my lips and painted them with my own arousal. “That’s you, after a spanking.” I shook my head no. He nodded his yes, his grin triumphant. “I could smell your arousal after the first one. I wanted to take you then and you hadn’t been home twenty-four hours.”
I gasped; I was appalled and quite turned on by the whole mess. “You are despicable and…” I panted, my words cut off by his mouth on mine, his tongue licking away any proof that I was even slightly electrified by his shenanigans.
“I spanked you because you needed it, and you allowed it, albeit reluctantly, because you knew it.” That gave me pause. Allowing it was relative. I fought, I struggled, I protested, but I was here in his lap now, my legs wide open to his scandalous touch, not demanding to be taken home or directly to the airport, never to return. In fact, none of it crossed my mind, even a little. Yes, allowing it meant a few different things. Jed brought his fingers to
my lips again and then kissed it all away. The man was chocolate lava cake and cigarettes rolled into one.
“You taste so good. And the way you respond to me, in every way…sweetheart, no other woman…” His mouth nipped at mine then he kissed me deep, soulful, enriched with a new closeness I knew I felt, and hoped he did, too. “No other woman…no one.”
“Did you ever do this to Brenda? And before you answer, please note that I would rather you tell me you are still fucking her than answer in the affirmative.”
He searched my eyes to make sure I wasn’t joking. I wasn’t. “Then we shouldn’t talk about it,” he said.
Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t stop them. “Jed.” His name came out on a sob-sigh, a new thing I just discovered I could do, never been taught, just came up with it. Those words, and the message behind them, caught me sideways, the pain coursing through me like a saber. I struggled in his arms for release. Jed was having none of it.
“Stop. Stop it now.” He turned my face to look at him. “Would you rather I lied to you, or can we talk about this rationally? You’re clearly upset.”
“No, I’m not. Go ahead; spank every goddamned woman in the state. See if I care.” God, what was that pain in my chest? I was having a heart attack. That was all, just a heart attack. “Let go,” I demanded. “I said, let go!” I fought against him until he took my upper arms and gave me one good shake. Eye to eye, his voice soft but firm, he said, “Do I need to spank you again? Answer me.”
Pants still down, sitting sideways across his lap, I was in no position to test him, yet test him I did. “What good would that do?” I sniffed.
“It would settle you down—not my preferred method, but you’re not running away from me, or this subject. Now,” he said with another little shake, “do I need to turn you over my knee and spank you again?”
“Sure. Why not?” I folded my arms in a grand display of petulance that stunned me.
“Spoiled.” He shook his head. “Are you sure?”
I glared at him. “I’m one of many. It won’t mean a thing to you, or me.”
Jed’s mouth fell open; his eyes grew wide and then tender. He separated my steel-hard arms with great gentle tugs and gathered me to him. I sobbed against his flannel shirt, rendering it flat and useless.
“Honey,” he whispered. “Oh, sweetheart.”
“See?” I said, my words muffled against his hard chest. “All you’ve done is reduce me to a sniveling baby. I’m appalled at myself.” That I’d rather see him still fucking her than taking her so intimately as he just took me rattled me to my core. I had no idea until this moment how intimate this truly was—painful beyond belief, but the most intimate I’d ever been with anyone in my life. I’d given another human being—a man, no less—complete control over me and, except for a great deal of discomfort at the moment, I felt as free as I’d ever felt in my life.
“Shhhh.” He rubbed my back, his arms a tight band around me, his adoration bleeding through my stubborn wall despite my attempts to ward off any further dealings with the man. “There have been others, honey,” he said with a resigned sigh.
Despite the ache in my heart, I giggled. It was all so ridiculous. My ass throbbed with the after-effects of my first-ever bare bottom spanking, and I was ready to walk away because…gasp…there had been others. The more I thought about it, the harder I laughed, until I was doing a brand new trick, which was a weird sort-of laugh-cry-hiccup thing against his shoulder. He chuckled, too, and soon those gentle rumblings turned into a hearty laugh, until we were holding on to each other in hysterics. When we had both been reduced to infrequent titters, I leaned back so I could look at him.
“You have loved and consoled and counseled and spanked me into a blithering half-wit. I hate you.”
He smiled. “I hate you, too, baby.” He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me with great affection and tenderness. “So much.” He placed delicate kisses against mouth, cheeks, neck, eyes and earlobes. “So, so much.”
I was a mess. A dim-witted, addlebrained goose. I hated this man. Hate, hate, hated.
“I love you, you overgrown Neanderthal.” To be rewarded with a smile like that… “I should be plotting your demise, renting a wood chipper and what-not” I croaked. “Instead I want you buried so deep inside me they’ll have to send out a posse to find you.”
“Goddammit.” He cupped my cheek, his eyes moist. “This goes against all conventional wisdom.”
“Conventional wisdom?”
“Conventional wisdom warns against following up a good spanking with the reward of sex too soon.”
“Another thing you’ve made up.”
“Probably.”
“Conventional wisdom must warn against spanking a grown woman’s bare bottom to begin with. You can insert your own…clause, counselor. After all, you are in charge.”
“You just made that up.”
“Mmmm.”
My boots fell out the open passenger door, and my jeans and panties joined. My tank and flannel were tossed on the dashboard. His jeans down just low enough, he set me astride him and I took Jed inside me. Conventional wisdom had a lot to deal with this day. Fuck her, I thought. She’s just going to have to get over herself. I screamed Jed’s name into the late afternoon quiet.
A Long Goodbye
One leg over the side of the claw-footed tub, I turned the hot water on with a toe and thought about the last eight days. I’d fallen into the routine of the ranch so easily, yet not so easily into answering to another person. Jed set me right on two occasions. As I shifted off my sore behind, I pondered where it all would fit. I wanted to work this land with him, make it ours, build our own legacy. I wanted him in my bed every night. I wanted his children. I loved and trusted him beyond measure, and I did not want to let that slip away. That he not only enjoyed, but would not hesitate if provoked, to spank a woman’s derrière, brought a moment of melancholy. A soft knock on the bathroom door pulled me from my thoughts.
“It’s me, Chan.”
“Come in, honey.”
“Damn.” Jed sat on the commode and stared in open admiration. “You okay?”
“I have a little headache.”
“Part of your punishment. Hey!” he yelped after I splashed him. “You take anything?”
“Yes. A bath.” Some lavender essential oil in the water was doing the trick. I was feeling better all the way around. The orgasm I had after getting my posterior tanned gave me pause. It was, by far, the most incredible orgasm I’d ever had. Ever.
“You’re exquisite, lying there like that.”
“Join me?”
“Not right now. I just want to look. That okay with you?”
“Mmmm.” This was nice, to be looked at, admired. He’d seen so much already. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the cool edge of the tub.
“I love to watch you sleep, watch you come, watch you wake up, and now this.”
“Very pretty words from a very mean man,” I sniffed. I felt the need to at least pretend I was angry. He knelt next to the tub.
“Still sore?” His shit-eating grin poked at me. I splashed him again. He grabbed my hands.
“Enough, or I’ll take a hairbrush to your wet behind.” He kissed them one at a time, lingering on the back of each as he gauged my reaction. He let them go and ran the tips of his fingers through the water. “About earlier…”
I shook my head. “Jed…”
“I was spending time with Brenda for about six months after the divorce. It was for one thing only and the reasons were all wrong. I haven’t laid eyes on her in months. She knew how to get to you and she succeeded. I’m sorry about that, honey. Forget about her.”
“What about the other? —Which is so much worse, by the way.” I was better about it, now that I’d soaked in lavender and Jed had said about twenty-five words since he’d come in that were practically perfect.
“I disciplined Brenda a few times—not that it did a lot of good. And there were a few
more…gals.” He met my eyes. “No one has responded to me, to that, the way you do. While it’s clear this is a thing with me, it’s hard to find a like-minded woman.” A corner of his mouth turned up. “I think I’ve found her.”
I took his hand, the one floating in the water at my knee, and kissed it. “Don’t count your chickens, and all that.”
“Okay, I won’t. And I’m sorry you were hurt by—” he smirked, “—the others. I don’t like hurting you like that. If I never see that look on your face again, it’ll make me very happy.”
“I’m better now.” His eyes were moist and so blue, his mouth so full, his hand so right in mine. “My God, I want you again,” I whispered. “I’m sick. I need help. I need therapy.”
“No, you just need more of me, more of this.” He kissed my hands again. “Get dressed. We’re going out, all of us.”
“How nice.”
“Wanna wear you on my arm, show you off.”
“Mon homme est très galant.”
His eyes glassed over. “Mmmm.” Jed glided his hand over my wet arm. “Talk like that again and we’ll be having dinner dans le lit nu.”
“Très bien, mon cher.”
“High school French.”
“I’m impressed. I’ll wear something sexy.”
“Yes,” he said, his eyes bright. “You will.”
The restaurant was one of the nicer ones in the area; great steaks, great wine list, happy, fun waiters. I wore the black hi-low with the turquoise boots. Cute, a bit sexy, just right for my last evening in Montana.
I was restless, couldn’t sit still. Charlie kept us entertained with stories of school, and Maria talked of plans for the Culver—she was talking about building a house and living there. I argued my case for her staying at the house. I understood her thinking but I wanted her close. I wanted to see her every day. I wanted us in the same house. She wanted her space and she wanted to give Jed and me our own, too. I’d work on her. This was not the time or the place. She wasn’t going to build a house in a week. All during dinner, I ran my foot up and down Jed’s leg, and during dessert I kicked a boot off and placed my foot in his crotch.
Stop, or I will spank you now he mouthed when no one was looking, and I demurely dropped my foot and batted my eyes at him. His were on fire. He’d split something open inside of me, and I couldn’t explain it. All I knew was I didn’t want it to stop. I’d replayed the spanking over and over again, my bottom still sporting a delicious tingle as a reminder of his capabilities. I should be furious. I should be appalled at his high-handedness, regardless of my behavior. I should be taking this up with someone in higher authority over what could be done about such a man, this man. Yet his reaction was what I’d expected, deep down, and I would have been disappointed had he not…done what he’d done, exactly the way he’d done it. He was a man I could rely on in times of downward spiral. Admitting it was the rub, and my obstacle. I’d work on that.