The Days of Redemption

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “And how is he doing?”

  “He is in good health,” Ed said slowly, enjoying the feeling of warmth that was slowly easing into his muscles. As they continued down the hall, the walls decorated with neatly framed photographs of missionaries in different parts of the world, he added, “My father seems to enjoy living at Daybreak very much.”

  “Ah, yes. That’s the retirement home on Market Street, isn’t it?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “It seems like a nice facility. Big.”

  Thinking of the many rooms that he always had to go through in order to locate his father, Ed nodded. “It is that. There’s always a lot going on there, too. Speakers and such.” Continuing awkwardly, he said, “I listened to a wildlife lecture with him last week.”

  Pausing at the doorway, Mr. Cross said, “I’m very glad you told me that he’s happy there. It makes me feel even better about calling you like I did.”

  Edward followed him into his office, then stopped abruptly when he realized they weren’t going to be meeting alone. At a small circular table sat three other people with folders and notebooks in front of them.

  All three stopped talking and looked at him.

  Feeling vaguely on display, he lifted a hand in an awkward greeting.

  The chairman walked to his side and rested a palm on one of his shoulder blades. “Everyone, you remember Edward Swartz. Ed, this is Grace Adams and Michele Evans. And Jared Schilling, of course.”

  Once introductions were over, Mr. Cross pointed to the sole empty chair. “Take a seat, Edward.”

  Ed sat, but when he eyed the pens in everyone else’s hands, he knew he had to speak up. Looking around the circular oak table, his impatience got the worst of him. “Forgive me for being so blunt, but what, exactly, is this meeting about? I had assumed it was going to be an update on my experience in Nicaragua.”

  James and Jared shook their heads.

  “No, we didn’t ask you to come here to discuss Nicaragua, Ed,” Mr. Cross said. Taking a deep breath, he continued, “Actually, we called you here to offer you a new position.”

  “A new position?”

  “Indeed.” With a wide smile, he said, “Edward, we want you to become the director of our Belize mission.”

  “I didn’t know we had a mission in Belize.”

  “We don’t. Yet,” Michele said.

  “The person we had in mind to launch the program is fighting off some health difficulties, I’m afraid. You were our next logical choice.”

  “Me?” Ed felt himself stare blankly at Mr. Cross.

  “We think you’ll do very well there, Ed.”

  Though he knew he sounded foolish, he made himself clarify what he was hearing. “You want me to be a director? A director of the Belize mission.”

  Mr. Cross nodded, as if everything was getting all cleared up. “That’s right. We’ve had to do quite a bit of personnel shifting due to the recent downturn in the economy. The donations simply aren’t coming in like they used to, which means we can’t staff each missionary site the way we’d like.”

  “Our first priority is for the people we serve,” Michele said.

  “Yes, that makes sense,” Ed agreed. Everything made sense, except for his part in the staffing.

  “So, we decided to talk to you about heading up the Belize mission. You’d be starting from scratch. We have a building for you, and a team of five from the office ready to accompany you there, and help you understand the extent of your responsibilities.”

  “It’s an exciting opportunity,” Jared said with an easy smile. “Not many people are offered the opportunity to do this. You would be able to set up the mission how you think it would work best, and you’d get to handpick the locals on staff.”

  But he didn’t feel ready. “I’ve only done one two-year stint.”

  Mr. Cross smiled. “I realize that, but you showed an immense amount of maturity and leadership skills. Everyone was impressed with you, Edward. A lot of people feel called to work in this field, but sometimes God doesn’t always gift them with the skills to do the real work that needs to be done. In your case, however, it seems as if the Lord created you specifically for mission work. You have a natural affinity for it.”

  The chairman’s words were terribly kind. Ed appreciated hearing the words of praise, and it was nice that others had noticed his hard work.

  But he didn’t feel ready.

  Perhaps it was the devil bringing his fears to light? His mother had always told him that God’s timing was impeccable. Even when he wasn’t sure, the Lord knew what he was doing. Faith was believing in the Lord enough to follow His lead.

  “Could you tell me more about this position, and the job as well?” he asked. “When would you want me to go? How many times would I go down before living there permanently?”

  For the first time, everyone assembled looked uneasy.

  Which, of course, made him shift in his seat.

  “We would want you to get started on this mission as soon as possible,” Grace said. She tapped an open calendar with the eraser end of a bright blue pencil.

  Ed noticed she was tapping a January calendar page. Warily, he said, “I was scheduled to be on leave for six months. That will end in June. So, you are planning for me to begin at the start of summer?”

  Looking at little uneasy, Grace shook her head. “We don’t want to wait that long. We were hoping to have you go out there next week.”

  So the open calendar wasn’t a mistake. Ed felt like a vise was steadily tightening around his chest. And though he hated to admit his hesitation, he didn’t think he should be anything but honest. “I don’t know if I’m prepared to do that.”

  “I know this is sudden, but you would only stay there for two weeks,” Mr. Cross said. “Plus I have to say with all this snow we’re having, the chance to be in Belize for two weeks right now doesn’t sound like a hardship.”

  No, it sounded like an eternity. “And then?”

  Grace smiled reassuringly. “While there, you would make note of what supplies you would need, continue the staffing process, talk with the local clergy . . .” She shrugged. “It’s a lot, of course, but I’m sure you would do fine.”

  He appreciated her belief in him, but she still hadn’t answered his question about the next steps. “But if you are already wanting to hire people, it sounds as if you are planning to open this mission right away.”

  Mr. Cross nodded. “That’s right. We would want you to return to Belize full-time by mid-February.”

  There it was. They were expecting him to have barely two weeks off after working solidly for two years. Then set up a new office and mission, which would be far more work and responsibility than he was used to. “And stay for how long? Two years?”

  “Well, actually, five,” Grace said. “We wouldn’t want to put someone into place, just to move them right away. It takes time to gain trust in the community. And it takes time for you to see the differences you’re making in other people’s lives.”

  Five years.

  In five years he’d be thirty. He’d always imagined that he’d be married with a child or two by the time he reached thirty years old. But if he was in Belize?

  Marriage and children would have to be pushed off to the future. “I don’t know. . . .”

  Michele curved her hands around her coffee cup. “I know you’re taken aback. You have every right to be; what we’re asking is neither easy to do, nor easy to plan for.”

  Mr. Cross spoke again. “Edward, we’ve looked at the list of candidates, and we all feel you’re the best fit for this job. Yes, there are other people in the organization with more experience, but we don’t feel that any of them would be the best person to open up a mission. You’re it, Ed. We’ve all prayed about this, and we all are in accordance, you would be a wonderful director for Belize.”

  “Of course, you should pray about this, too,” Grace added. “No one expects you to give an answer right now.”

&nb
sp; But he had a feeling that wasn’t quite true. The decision had been made and they were merely waiting for him to climb on board and get with the program. “There are a great many things to consider,” he said slowly. “My father, for one—”

  “I know you’ll miss him, but you said yourself that he’s happy where he is,” Mr. Cross smoothly interrupted. “Plus, I’m sure he will be mighty proud of you. Your work will make a great many people’s lives better. And, of course, the mission is greatly needed. There’s something to be said for that.”

  In theory, Ed agreed with all that they were saying. Perhaps if he was still in Nicaragua, he’d be less apprehensive.

  But he was home in Ohio now, and even during this short time, he’d been reminded of all he’d given up in order to do his mission work. “I need time to think about your offer. I just opened up our house again. . . .” What he didn’t dare mention was that at the moment, his father and the house were only some of what he was thinking about. If he left, he’d be leaving so much behind. Gretta, and his new friendship with John . . . and Viola!

  Viola most of all, he realized. Here, he’d been practically courting her. Taking her to lunch, taking her out for pie. Attending church services at her house.

  What was he supposed to do? Simply ignore his feelings for her?

  As that shock ran through his body, Mr. Cross pushed a pair of thick binders toward him from across the table. “Edward, please don’t be worried. We know we’ve given you a lot to think about. Take these binders and read through them. Talk to your father and your friends. Pray on it. Then give us a call.”

  That was good advice. Feeling like he was finally given a moment to process it all, he stood up and hugged the binders to his chest. He could do this. He could pray and read and gather the courage to tell his father that he might be leaving him far sooner than they’d anticipated. “When do you need to know if I will take the assignment?”

  “We’ll need to know within the next three days if you don’t want to go,” Jared said.

  “I see.”

  Everyone else stood up, too. “Ed, do you think you’ll be able to do that?” the chairman asked.

  “Yes, sir. I will.” It wasn’t like he had a choice about it. Needing some time to himself, he turned to Jared. “I think I’m going to go ahead and walk home.”

  “Are you sure? It’s snowing pretty hard out.”

  “I’m sure. I’ve got my boots on.”

  “Thanks for coming in, Edward,” Mr. Cross said warmly. He shook Ed’s hand, then turned back to the others in the room.

  Ed was happy to be on his way. After grabbing his coat and hat from the closet, he exited and was met with a face full of snow. By nightfall, the roads would barely be passable. It looked as if the Lord was giving him the opportunity to sit and read and pray and reflect in peace and quiet.

  As he tucked his chin and starting walking briskly home, he started praying for God to give him some guidance and strength.

  This was such a big decision, he knew he was going to need all the help he could get.

  chapter sixteen

  It had been snowing for almost twelve hours straight, and when Viola woke up and saw how thick the covering was, she knew there was no way she was going to be able to leave the house.

  A thick feeling of disappointment settled deep in her chest as she realized that she couldn’t go into work.

  Which meant, of course, that she wasn’t going to be able to see Ed. Thinking about Monday, when they’d gone out for pie and talked so much that she’d practically forgotten to eat, she sighed. Something unexpected and wonderful was happening to their relationship. He was making her see the world in a brand-new way, and also examine her own faith. Suddenly, she was more aware of Jesus’s presence in her life, and that awareness felt like a wonderful gift.

  Pushing her disappointment away, she went to the kitchen where their phone was, called Daybreak, and explained the situation to Mrs. Ames.

  Luckily, Mrs. Ames completely understood and told Viola that she’d call her early Thursday morning to let her know how the roads were.

  After the phone call was done, Viola slipped on a rather subdued and old gray dress. It was by far her least favorite dress. She’d mismeasured when she’d cut the fabric, and it always felt a bit too tight in the shoulders and too loose around her hips and waist. But it was perfect for cleaning and it suited her mood.

  When Elsie saw her in her old gray dress, she grinned. “You aiming to make sure we all know you’re unhappy, Viola?”

  Elsie was always able to practically read her mind.

  Not that she needed to know that, of course. “I simply didn’t want to get a newer dress dirty.”

  “That’s a gut excuse if I ever heard one.”

  Viola glanced at her twin sharply. She was almost positive that Elsie was being sarcastic. Almost. But instead of calling her out, she let it slide. She supposed she was wearing her heart on her sleeve.

  “I’m simply disappointed not to be working, that’s all.”

  “And, perhaps, not seeing Edward Swartz?”

  “That does have something to do with it,” she said with a sheepish smile. After taking care to make sure no one else was in hearing distance, Viola softened her resolve to keep her feelings close to her heart. “Elsie, I don’t know what’s happened to me, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about him!”

  “He is handsome.”

  Viola’s heart beat a little faster. “He is.”

  “And he doesn’t let you walk over him, either. That’s in his favor.”

  “I’m not that bossy.”

  “You’re pretty bossy, sister, with most everyone.”

  “Except for Edward.” But of course, this wasn’t exactly true. She’d tried to tell him what to do, just like she did with everyone else, but he ignored her completely. This should have made her peeved. Instead, it made her respect him all the more.

  “Well, that means something, I think.” Smiling whimsically, Elsie said, “Maybe you are ready to admit you’re falling in love.”

  “I hope not. He’s not the right one for me.”

  “God might think differently.”

  “God might, but even He knows that falling in love with Ed would be a big mistake.” Though, was it? she wondered. Whenever she thought of him, she wanted to smile. And now that she knew there was no chance of seeing him? She felt a little sick. Those were all the signs, weren’t they?

  “I don’t know if it would be a mistake, Viola. From what I can tell, Edward is a good man.” Somewhat dryly Elsie added, “They’re not all like that, you know.”

  “Believe me, I know.”

  “Plus, he’s easy on the eyes. A nice bonus, I think.”

  “I didn’t think you could see him all that well,” she blurted before she stopped herself. “Oh my goodness, Elsie. Please forgive me. I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”

  Quick tears sprang to Elsie’s eyes, but she blinked them away as if they didn’t matter in the slightest. “There’s nothing to forgive, Viola. Though what I did see I found terribly handsome. You are exactly right—I don’t see well.” Lowering her voice, she confided, “Sometimes it feels like I’m losing my sight a little more each day.”

  The pain and guilt she always felt whenever they talked about Elsie’s eyesight returned like an old enemy. “I didn’t know your sight was diminishing so quickly,” she said, remembering the many struggles Elsie had encountered over the years. First in school, when they’d discovered she needed glasses, then the moment in the doctor’s office when he’d shared the awful truth about her disease. “H-Have you told Mamm?” she stuttered, ashamed again at her inability to speak of her twin’s disease in a more detached way.

  “Of course not,” Elsie said lightly.

  “You should.”

  “Viola, you know why I haven’t. Mamm would only rush me to the doctor.”

  “Elsie, that would be because you need to go!” What she didn’t add but ached to was t
hat they needed to ask more questions, check into more options. Maybe even take a bus to the famous Cleveland Clinic instead of relying on local doctors. Someone had to help her. Late at night, when she allowed her fears to get the best of her, Viola worried that their chosen way of life had interfered with the best possible medical care for her sister. Perhaps if they’d had greater access to other folks, or to more magazines or to television shows, her parents would have fought Elsie’s deteriorating condition more aggressively.

  But this was not a feeling Elsie shared. “I have a feeling that it won’t matter how many doctors I go to. None of them are going to be able to tell me anything new.”

  “You don’t know that for sure.”

  “But I do, sister,” Elsie said gently. Almost as if she was worrying about hurting Viola with her news. “See, years ago, Dr. Kopple told me that I was going blind. I’ve come to terms with that.”

  “I haven’t.”

  “That’s because you are used to pecking at everyone like a hen, forcing everyone to listen to you. You, dear twin, are a woman who likes getting her way.”

  “You make me sound pretty selfish.”

  “Not selfish, just headstrong,” Elsie corrected. “And I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with that. All of us need someone in our lives like you. Having someone question and prod and push can be a blessing.” She shrugged. “However, in this instance it wouldn’t do any good.”

  Feeling embarrassed, Viola knew it was time to change topics. “I don’t have to clean. Instead, I could start piecing you a new dress?”

  “Nee. Mommi is doing that for me today. And I know Mamm wants the insides of some of the cabinets to be cleaned out and organized today.”

  “In the kitchen?” Viola said hopefully.

  “No, in the hall and bathrooms.”

  Viola wrinkled her nose. She hated cleaning out bathroom cabinets. She didn’t like contorting herself on the bathroom floor in order to change the liners on the bottom of the cabinets. “I’m glad I wore my gray dress. It’s going to be a long day.”