The tension in the room increased. Elsie felt a headache coming on. Here she was, imagining that her dreams were really coming true, and now her family was going to throw water over everything.
“Are you sure you should do that, Elsie?” her father asked. “Perhaps you should give him a call and say you changed you mind.”
“Or maybe I should go talk to him, like I was about to before you grabbed my arm,” Roman said.
“I don’t want to change my mind.” Looking around at her assembled family, each vying for the chance to offer an opinion, Elsie backed toward the door. “I am not doing anything wrong.”
Viola blurted, “But you’ve never been out courting—”
“I know,” she said bitterly. “Believe me, I know. You all treat me as if I’m sixteen years old. Or maybe even younger!”
“You’re acting like a foolish teen,” Roman said.
“If I am, so are you. But I am a grown woman with a good brain. I’m not doing anything untoward.”
“Daed, Landon doesn’t know about her blindness,” Roman pointed out, speaking over her, as if she weren’t even there.
“He doesn’t need to know.”
“Of course he needs to know,” Mommi murmured.
“Yes. I mean, what are you going to do when Landon finds out that you won’t be able to see one day?” Viola asked, tapping her foot. “Don’t you think he’ll be upset that you kept that from him?”
She hated this. She hated how everyone thought that she didn’t deserve to think about love and relationships. “Who is going to tell him?” she asked. “Mommi? Amanda? Dawdi?”
When the three looked down at their feet, she angrily turned to the other three surrounding her. “What about you, Roman? Is that what you were so anxious to do? To rush out and tell him that he shouldn’t be interested in me, ever? That I’m not worth it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“What about you, Viola? Or you, Daed? Do you two feel like you need to be the ones to make sure I always stay home and never venture out because I’m not perfect?”
As she’d expected, this time both Viola and her father turned away, obviously embarrassed.
Feeling vindicated, her voice became heated. “Listen, I know none of us is perfect. But at least all of you have had chances to do things without everyone getting involved. I think I deserve that right, too. You must stop treating me as if my future has already been decided.”
“We’re merely trying to protect you, daughter,” her father said. “At the very least, wait until your mother is out of the hospital before you go out with this Landon. Then she could advise you.”
“There’s nothing to advise. I’m going on a buggy ride. That’s it.”
“But there’s—”
She was going to have to make them see her point of view if it was the last thing she ever did! “You’re not trying to protect me,” she countered. “I think you are trying to protect yourselves. As long as I stay at home, surrounded by all of you, I’ll never change.”
“But Elsie, you might get hurt,” Daad whispered.
“But don’t you see? I want to live my life. And if I get hurt, it will be my business.” She was so frustrated, tears welled in her eyes. What she didn’t feel brave enough to share was that she’d already been hurt. For years, she’d felt as if she wasn’t quite a part of the family. They’d overlooked her attempts to help, fearing that she might mess things up or get hurt.
They’d overlooked her need to do “regular” things, not remembering that even blind—or almost blind—girls sometimes just wanted to be girls. She ached to make mistakes and appear foolish. She wanted to have things to laugh at or be embarrassed about.
She wanted to be normal.
While she’d come to terms with the knowledge that she wasn’t going to be able to see one day, for now, she could experience life like everyone else, except with glasses. “I need some fresh air. I’m going to go outside for a moment. And then I’m going to come in and help with supper.”
“Elsie . . . ” Viola’s voice was plaintive. But Elsie didn’t let her finish.
“Viola, I thought you, at the very least, would have understood. I couldn’t be more disappointed.” And with that, she grabbed her bonnet and cloak, then walked outside and finally let free the emotions that had been brimming to the surface.
As they watched Elsie storm across the field, Lovina shook her head. She should have said something more. She knew better.
As the silence continued and the tension rose, her other granddaughter, in her typical impatient fashion, turned and stared at the rest of them.
Well, at least she could speak up now.
“Viola, how many times has Elsie stood up for you, even when she didn’t agree with you?”
Viola shifted uncomfortably. “Always.”
“And when was the last time she ever sided against you in front of the rest of us?”
“I never remember her doing that,” Viola admitted after a moment. Looking miserable, she said, “She didn’t even try to talk me out of going to Belize.”
“Well, I hate to admit it, but I’m afraid Elsie might have a point about our hovering.” Lovina looked at each of them in turn.
Making her tone a little harder, she continued. “Elsie is a capable woman and it’s time we recognized that, even if it makes us uncomfortable.”
With a small smile, Amanda curved a hand around Roman’s arm. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Jah. And it is only a buggy ride,” Peter said with a wry shake of his head. “We’re making mountains out of molehills.”
“But I think Elsie’s vision loss is much worse than she lets on,” Viola blurted.
“What makes you say that?” Lovina asked.
“Just little things. She needs more help pinning her dress. Sometimes I don’t think she sees everyone in the room. Her steps seem to be more tentative.”
“Has anyone else noticed these things, too?” Peter asked.
Roman shrugged. “Maybe.”
“We need your mother here. She would know what to do.” Peter walked over to the window and gazed out.
Not having his wife here, especially on the heels of his alcohol treatment, was weighing on her son. Lovina could see that.
Looking resolved, Viola started toward the door. “I’m going to go find Elsie and talk to her. Try to explain what I was thinking.”
When Roman and his father nodded, Amanda spoke up. “I think you should leave her alone, Viola.”
“I second that,” Lovina said quickly.
Viola turned to her in surprise. “Why?”
“You will soon be in Belize,” Lovina chided softly. “If you truly want to help Elsie, you should be her sister, not her caretaker.”
Roman frowned. “Mommi, Viola’s only trying to help.”
With a glance at her husband, Lovina let a smile play on her lips. “Viola is only trying to help her own peace of mind. As you are. It’s time we let Elsie make some of her own decisions.”
“But she could get hurt.”
“Then she’s in good company, yes?” Lovina said, looking around the room. “We’ve all had our share of triumphs and disappointments. But we’ve lived them. No one has stopped us. And yet . . . we survived, jah? Roman, we all could have stepped in and said you didn’t know Amanda long enough to marry her, right? But we trusted you. We allowed you to move forward in your life, knowing that you could make your own decisions. Doesn’t Elsie deserve that as well?”
Viola stared at her grandmother with something close to wonder in her eyes. “When did you get so smart, Mommi?”
“It’s only happened lately, and here I am in my sixties,” she teased.
But as they each slowly got back to their chores, Lovina thought that they should all be as smart as Elsie. Lovina realized that getting hurt was sometimes inevitable. But she knew for sure that doing nothing was a far worse choice.
If only she had been that wise forty years ago.
Landon was twenty-six years old. He’d had his share of girlfriends and had gone on his share of buggy rides. But now, as he guided his gelding up the Keims’ long driveway, he didn’t remember ever being as pleased about the opportunity to spend time with a woman.
As Mike clip-clopped along the gravel drive, Landon noticed the first buds on the pear trees that lined the road and thanked his good fortune one more time. So many good things had happened in his life lately. He was finally near his brother, he was in business with him, and now had his very own farm. He was so glad he’d made the decision two years ago to work hard and save every penny to buy his own piece of land and join his brother’s business.
Living at home and working dozens of hours at a local hardware store had really paid off. Staying true to his goals and plans had been the right thing to do.
The Lord was surely rewarding him by giving him the gift of Elsie Keim right next door. She seemed to be just the type of woman he’d dreamed about spending a lifetime with when he’d been putting in all those hours. She was pretty and sweet and had a little spark in her that he was anxious to discover more about.
Just as he slowed Mike over the hill, he caught sight of Elsie standing on the edge of the front walkway. She had on a different dress than the one she’d worn earlier. This one was a deep pink, so dark it was bordering on red. He loved the bright color on her, loved how it seemed to represent so much about her . . . perfectly Amish . . . but also perfectly her own person.
No matter how quiet she might seem, Elsie was no shy flower. No, she had a spunk about her that demanded to be noticed.
As soon as he reined Mike to a halt and set the brake on the buggy, he strode to her side.
“Elsie, you didn’t have to wait outside. I would have been happy to come to your door to get you.”
Her cheeks brightened a bit, and something told him that it had nothing to do with the cool breeze in the evening air. “Actually, being out here was my choice. I was ready for a bit of space.”
“Is that right?”
She nodded. “Our house is mighty full today.”
He laughed as he got out and helped her into his buggy. “I have noticed that there seem to be folks all around your place.”
“Lots and lots of folks,” she said wearily. “Of course, we’re all together to see my mamm, but when we’re not at my mother’s side at the hospital, things can be a bit overwhelming. And loud.”
He handed her an old quilt that his grandmother had given him when he’d graduated eighth grade. “I hope you won’t be too cold. The days are warm but the nights are still a little cool.”
She unfolded it a bit and tucked it around her lap. “This should be fine.” She smiled softly. “It’s a pretty quilt, Landon.”
“My grandmother made it,” he said, as he settled in next to her, immediately noticing the nice sensation of feeling her slim body against his. “So, are you ready?”
“Very ready.”
After he released the brake and clicked the reins, Mike started forward with a quick jerk.
Beside him, Elsie laughed. “He’s a bit frisky, huh?”
“I guess so,” he said with a grin. “I’ve been riding my bicycle around town a lot, so Mike hasn’t been getting out too much. He’s a pretty young guy. No doubt, he’s ready to let off a little steam.”
“I know the feeling.”
Landon looked at her curiously, wondering what had sparked that statement. But when she didn’t add a word, he decided to let it go. Seconds later they were sailing down the driveway. “Do you mind if we go up the back roads?” he asked when they got to the highway. “I didn’t have anywhere special in mind to take you.”
“Anywhere is fine with me.”
Eager to please her, he said, “Is there somewhere you especially like to go on buggy rides?”
“You mean when I’ve gone out before?”
“Well . . . yeah,” he said awkwardly. He wasn’t particularly crazy about talking about her other dates, but she seemed a little tense.
“I don’t care where we go.”
“Um, okay.”
Making a sudden decision, he carefully guided Mike through a right turn, then let him slow a bit. They were on a narrow-laned road that looked like it had little use. Then he peeked at her. “Elsie? Is everything okay?”
“I was just trying to find a way to tell you that I’ve never been courted before.”
He was glad he was twenty-six and not eighteen. Years ago, he would have blurted something stupid, like asking her why not. Had she not liked any of the other guys? Or had they not liked her?
Luckily he’d lived long enough to realize that sometimes things simply happened for a reason . . . or for no reason. He had no problem dating a woman who hadn’t already gone out with a lot of men. That only added to her attraction for him. It didn’t detract from it.
Instinct told him to keep things light. “You don’t have to worry about telling me anything, Elsie. All I want is to spend time with you.”
She looked at him with a smile. “I can’t tell you what it means to me to hear you say that.”
“If you’re that easy to please, we’re going to get along fine.”
She relaxed a bit next to him. “Tell me about your family, Landon. And your work.”
“I’ll be glad to. But I have to warn you that there’s nothing very exciting about any of us. Stop me if I bore you.”
She laughed softly. “I promise, I won’t find a thing boring about a quiet family.”
Once again, he found her comment to be almost cryptic, as if there was something that she wasn’t quite ready to share. He liked the air of mystery surrounding her. So many women he knew talked so much he could hardly get a word in edgewise.
“Well, I have a brother, Daniel, who’s married to Edith. They have two little twin boys, Bo and Ben, and they live here in town. I also have a younger sister named Mary. She’s just twenty.”
“And your parents?”
“I’m blessed to still have them both, and they live in Medina. Living down the road from them are my grandparents, and I even have a great-grandmother who lives in their dawdi haus.”
“And they are all okay with the fact that you and Daniel live in Berlin now?”
He shrugged. “I guess you could say we’re a little bit of an anomaly in the Amish world. We like our space.”
She smiled softly at that.
“I don’t have much more to say, really. About two years ago, I decided that I wanted to work with my brother. Daniel was all for it, too. He even went so far as to offer his guest room for me to live in for a while. But I wanted my own space.” He glanced her way, wondering if she could follow what he was trying to say. “I wanted something that was all mine, you know?”
She nodded. “You wanted your independence.”
“Jah.” Quickly, he attempted to sum up the rest of his story. “So, even though it took a bit longer, I farmed our land and worked at a hardware store on nights and weekends. When I had enough money to feel like I could afford a little piece of land of my own, I moved. And that’s my story.”
“You were able to earn all that in two years?”
“Just the last chunk. I’m one of those planner type of people, Elsie. Once I set a goal, I hate to stray from it. I feel like I’ve practically spent my whole life waiting to live my life the way I envisioned it. Now it’s finally happening—I have my own piece of land and I work with my brother.”
With a slight smile, he added, “And now we’ve met each other. I have to say that I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out.”
Elsie smiled back at him, but then she bit her lip. Like she was worried.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Not at all,” she replied. Then she flashed a smile and he noticed the tiniest of dimples in her right cheek. “Tell me more, Landon. What do you like to do for fun?”
“Haven’t we talked about me enough?”
This wasn’t how he’d imagined talking with her would be. He’d hoped for more of a give-and-take, a true conversation. “But Elsie, I don’t want to talk nonstop. I want to know more about you, too.”
But instead of taking his hint, she shook her head. “There’s nothing too interesting about me, Landon.”
“But—”
“Please,” she said. “I’ll tell you more about me next time.”
Well, that was something, he supposed. She wanted to see him again. He, for one, couldn’t wait to spend more time with her. After a pause, he started talking again. He talked until they came to a dead end, and then after turning around, he talked some more.
And by the time they pulled into her driveway, he realized to his chagrin that she’d barely told him a thing about herself.
And that she seemed perfectly fine about that, too.
Sitting in their small living room, a fire chasing the chill away, Lovina found herself checking the clock every fifteen minutes.
Aaron noticed. “Watching the clock won’t make her come home any faster, you know.”
“Do you think she’s having a good time?”
“Don’t know.”
“Do you think Elsie told that boy about her blindness?”
He chuckled. “Knowing Elsie? Nope. That granddaughter of ours is as sweet as they come . . . and twice as stubborn.” After a pause, he added, “Just like someone else I know.”
Raising her brows, she did her best to attempt to look shocked. “Who? Me?”
He nodded. With careful movements, he folded up his newspaper before glancing at her over the rims of his glasses. “When we first met, I thought you were a sweet girl.”
“And later you discovered how stubborn I could be?”
“Jah. But then by that time it was too late. I was already in love with you.”
She chuckled. “That doesn’t sound too romantic, Aaron.”
“Well, it was different back then. We were different back then, you know.”
She knew he was referring to the first few months of their relationship, back in Pennsylvania. She had been young, barely a high school graduate, and had been getting over a difficult senior year and Jack’s death.
The Days of Redemption Page 49