Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  I turned to Rachael who had a smirk on her face. “And did he . . . entertain you?”

  She took her time in standing, but stood too close to Damon when she did. She held his upper arm and leaned in closer. “He did,” she said as she turned to me, “but he was a perfect gentleman.”

  He smiled and covered her hand with his. He lost his smile when he saw the scowl on my face. He cleared his throat and squeezed her hand before letting go. “Well, I have work I need to do and the boss is here now, so I’ll leave you two to your meeting.” He wasted no time leaving, closing the door behind him.

  “That was rude.” She crossed her arms.

  “He does have a lot of work to do.”

  “I meant you.”

  We stood giving each other the evil eye until I went to my desk. “I have a lot of work to do, as well. What do you want?”

  She scoffed. “I thought we had a truce. Is that off now?”

  “You’re the one giving me the cold shoulder.” I opened my briefcase and started to empty the contents. “I’ve called you several times and even went to your office, but apparently you answer your phone only when you want to.”

  “I don’t answer the phone when I’m working.” She waved a flash drive briefly before cupping it back in her hand and crossing her arms. “What did you want?”

  “To tell you the first building got picked up.”

  “Well, that’s fabulous.” She watched my face as I started to work. “Isn’t it?”

  I sighed and put my hands on the desk. “Of course it is.”

  “But?”

  I swore to myself I wouldn’t say anything to her. I didn’t want her to know how bothered I was by it, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “What did you tell Jim?” I looked up at her.

  “About what exactly?”

  “Don’t play dumb. He said he knows what happened the other day in your office.” My patience was running thin. “What did you tell him?”

  “Just that things got a little out of hand, but I handled it.” She shook her head. “I told him nothing.”

  “Well, he sure thinks something happened.”

  “Something did happen. You attacked me.”

  I stood, never so angry in my life. “I did no such thing!” I rounded the desk as she headed for the door and caught her before she got there. “Is that what you think?”

  “That’s what happened! I don’t have to think it!” She tried to break free of my grasp.

  “How could you think that? I didn’t hurt you at all!”

  She spoke through gritted teeth as she looked in my eyes. “You have no idea what I’m thinking.”

  “How can I, when you won’t talk to me? You hang up on me when, on the off chance, you actually answer my calls. Tell me—” I pulled her closer to me. “Would you have answered that night if Dennis hadn’t?”

  She didn’t hesitate. “No.”

  I let her go and turned away from her. “I don’t even know why I bother.”

  She ran up and shoved my back. “Why you bother? This is the last time you’ll ever see me in this office.”

  I turned and grabbed her wrists, pulling her close. “Why do you keep coming back if you hate me so much? Why did you agree to work for me if you can’t stand the sight of me?”

  She looked from my eyes to my lips a couple of times before answering. “It got me behind the camera again.”

  I let go of her right hand to pry her fingers open on her left hand and took the flash drive from her. “There. You’ve delivered your photos.” I turned from her. “Now you can go.”

  She walked over to her purse and left without another word, slamming the door behind her when she left. I reached over and pressed the intercom to Kylie. “Cancel my afternoon.”

  I was grateful for a place to go after the fight with Carl. Drew’s offer was my saving grace. I wouldn’t have been able to go home. It wasn’t something I wanted to talk about and my mother wouldn’t have left me alone until I had.

  I sat and stared at the list of places I still had to photograph for Carl. There were just a few more places left and I wondered how many other lists there were. I didn’t want to give up the camera so soon, but I wanted to get this job done and have him out of my life. He was no good for me. He was too controlling. I didn’t want to be controlled. I wouldn’t be controlled again. I put my head in my hands as I realized the princess photo shoot was coming up in a few days. I had hoped to do all future contact by email or messenger.

  I put the list down and picked my camera up. I’d missed it. I promised never to miss it again. Lance may have put a stop to me showing my photos, but I still needed to take them. It was like Christmas morning every time I loaded what I’d shot onto the computer. All those little thumbnails were presents waiting for me to open them. Some of them were magnificent and I even surprised myself. Others were the ugly sweaters you’d get from relatives who didn’t know you well, but I’d gladly own them all. I picked up the list again. There was one on the list for a nightclub and lounge. I smiled and picked up the phone.

  “You couldn’t have picked a more updated place for cocktails?” I figured Cagney would be a little bit of a snob once we pulled up to the nightclub. It wasn’t really our scene, but I needed to get these photos and I didn’t want to do it alone. Besides, we were almost finished. He could stop bitching about it any time.

  “Come on. It should be enough that you’re with me. It shouldn’t matter where we are.” I snapped a few more photos. “Plus, they have booze.”

  “Yes, but you’re not really with me here.” He waved his hand in front of the camera.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I told you this was a working cocktail party. You’re getting paid to be my assistant.”

  “Oh, well in that case, snap away!”

  I laughed as he pretended to snap pictures with an invisible camera. “You’re so much fun.”

  “Honey, you don’t know the half of it.” He took a drink.

  “So, who are you seeing now?”

  “I’m eyeing that guy in the corner. Wow, is he beautiful.”

  I looked over and he was right. That guy was beautiful. Longer than average hair, smoldering eyes, and a chiseled jaw line with scruff that would be sure to tickle in all the right places. I turned back to Cagney. “You’re really not dating anyone?”

  He stopped ogling the guy and the corner and looked at me. He touched my forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “I think so. Why?”

  “Mr. Hottie has been staring at you all night. I finally had enough and pointed him out to you and you’re still interested in my love life?” He shook his whole upper body in disbelief as he scooted closer to me. “No, no, no, baby girl. Your love life is way more important right now. Who is he?”

  “Mr. Hottie?” I tilted my head toward the guy in the corner. “I’ve never seen him before.”

  “No, who’s the guy who has you skimming over Mr. Hottie?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I took a drink before picking up my camera.

  Cagney took the camera from me. “You’re holding out on me. Who are you dating?”

  “I’m not dating anyone.”

  “But you want to be. Who is it?”

  “Don’t be silly. I just need a break.”

  “Sweetie, you’ve had one of the longest dry spells I’ve ever seen. You need to get some action and soon or you’re going to turn into the cat lady. Please, I beg of you.” He grabbed my hands. “Don’t turn into the cat lady. I’m allergic to pussy.”

  I laughed at his dramatics. “I’m not getting a cat.” I looked over at Mr. Hottie again and smiled at him. I still didn’t feel the desire to go over to him. I shook my head when he started to come over.

  “Are you serious!” Cagney sighed. “Fine, but don’t blame me when our friendship falls apart because of my allergy.” He took a drink and almost spit it out.

  “What’s gotten into you?”

  “I can’t be
lieve I forgot to tell you the coolest thing ever. Okay, so get this. I was at my desk today in my baby blue poly—”

  “I thought we were retiring the prom suit.”

  “Hush and listen. Carl Williamson comes in and asks if I lost a bet.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I grabbed my drink. Just the mention of Carl’s name raised the hair on the back of my neck.

  “At first, I thought he was just teasing me like you, but then I realized he was serious. I was pissed.” He stood up and placed one hand on his hip and the other on the table. “I stood up, and I told him this is how I prefer to dress instead of how I’m made to dress when VIPs come in.” He sat down and took a drink.

  “And?”

  “I got caught by Jimmy, but when I went in to apologize, he told me I didn’t have to change for Carl anymore.” He put his hand on his chest. “That touched me. I felt accepted.”

  I put my hand on the side of his face. “You are accepted by the people who matter, sweets.” I kissed the other side of his cheek. “Don’t ever forget that.”

  He held my hand and squeezed. “You are, too. You can tell me anything, and I’ll accept you no matter what.”

  I pulled my hand away to grab my drink. “I know.”

  “I don’t think you do or you’d tell me what’s going on with you and Carl.”

  I put my empty glass back on the table and looked around the room. I picked my camera up and snapped a few photos. “I think I’ve got all I need to get tonight.” I started to put my camera away.

  “I’m sorry, girl. If you don’t want to talk about your affair—”

  Carl didn’t want people to know his wife had died, but I wasn’t going to be the office gossip. “He isn’t married.” I looked up. “His wife died.”

  “Oh, that poor man.”

  I scoffed. “That poor man can go fuck himself.”

  “This is serious. What did he do?”

  I hadn’t expected to tell anyone. I hadn’t expected to voice my history and pain for anyone to hear. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer and Cagney was one of the very few people I actually trusted. It all just flowed out.

  “We dated briefly right after Dennis got out of the hospital. I was shopping with Drew and Dennis and met Carl in the kids section. I thought it was a little weird, but he explained it was for his daughter. I don’t really do kids, so I couldn’t help him, but he was so good looking, I couldn’t help it. I asked why his wife didn’t pick out the stuff for their daughter. He told me she wasn’t in the picture anymore. I thought he meant divorce.”

  Cagney flagged a waitress down for more drinks as I continued to fill him in on things. I think the alcohol was more for him than me, but it did help me to continue talking. “I just felt so cheap, so discarded when he threw the blanket over my head. And telling me not to move? Did he think I was going to go talk to his daughter right then?”

  “Maybe he just wanted to cover you up. You were practically naked, right?”

  “Huh?”

  “Maybe he wasn’t trying to hide you, but maybe he was trying to hide your nakedness. What would his daughter have seen if she’d come down the stairs?”

  “Oh.” I turned to him. “Do you really think that’s why?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know Carl, but I kind of do think that’s what he was trying to do.”

  I sat and thought for a minute as I played with my straw. It was possible that was why he tossed the blanket on me. I sat up straight. “That may be, but he’s been a complete asshole ever since.”

  “But you walked out—”

  “Just whose side are you on?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m on your side. You know I am. What’s he done?”

  “Just stuff.” I waved his question off.

  He smiled and looked at me. “You don’t blush often, so I bet it was good whatever he did.”

  I smiled. “He really hasn’t done any of that.”

  He leaned in close and nudged me with his shoulder. “I think you want him to.”

  I looked at the empty glasses in front of us and frowned. “I think I’ve had too much to drink.”

  He laughed. “Yes, I think you have had a little too much. Let’s get you home.”

  Cagney’s place was on the way to mine, so he was dropped off by the cab first. He was reluctant to let me go home alone in the condition I was in, but I assured him everything would be fine. He made sure the cabbie had my address. I made sure the cabbie knew where I really wanted to go. I wanted to drop off the photos I’d just taken.

  I heard the cabbie say something, but my eyes were just too heavy to open. I felt the door open on my right and I felt arms lifting me out of the cab. I mumbled, “I can walk.”

  “Don’t forget the bag.”

  It felt as if I stopped. Maybe I was walking. I just couldn’t open my eyes. They were so heavy. I tried to turn to the sound of the voice, but I just felt a wall of chest. I opened my eyes as far as I could and saw a clenched jaw. Carl. I put my head on his shoulder and went back to sleep.

  My head was pounding. I moaned. I really didn’t drink much normally, but talking about everything Cagney and I had talked about the night before required liquid courage to keep me talking. I couldn’t remember everything I said to him, but I didn’t think I had said too much.

  I hoped Mom had coffee going. I sat up as carefully as I could. It felt as if the world were going to spin again any second and rubbed my eyes. “Ow, ow, ow, ow.”

  I heard the door open. “Maybe if you didn’t drink so much, you wouldn’t have such a hangover.”

  Carl walked through the door and flashes of last night ran through my mind. His clenched jaw, carrying me up the stairs, holding my hair while I got sick, and changing me into pajamas. I checked under the covers. Yes, I had on pajamas.

  “Here.” He set a tray of toast, juice, and aspirin on the bed.

  “I’m really not hungry.”

  “And I’m really not in the mood to be caregiver today. Eat, drink, and take the pills.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I came here.” I pulled the tray toward me. I’d set myself up for this humiliation. Drunk or not, I should never have gone to his house in the middle of the night again.

  “Well, that makes two of us.” He sat in the chair in the corner. “I’m glad you’re here, though. I’m sorry about how things escalated yesterday.”

  “I’ve heard apologies before.”

  “I know. I was in a bad mood for reasons that had nothing to do with you. You were just the first person I could take it out on. That’s what I’d like to apologize for.”

  I took a drink of juice to wash down the toast. “Apology accepted. I’m sorry for coming here in the condition I was in.” I looked down at the toast I was struggling to eat. “Thank you for helping me.”

  “You’re welcome.” He stood. “I’ll let you get your bearings in peace. Your outfit is in the laundry. I would’ve just let you sleep in your clothes, but they didn’t survive the vomiting.”

  “I’m really, really sorry about that.” I looked down. “Why do you have ladies pajamas, anyway?”

  “They belong to my sister, Tammy. She used to stay to help with Amy, but her boyfriend was offered a job out of state and she went with him. We don’t see her much anymore.” He opened the door and turned with his hand on the doorknob. “I’m glad you came. You’re safe here. Come down when you’re ready.” He closed the door.

  I sat and finished the breakfast he gave me. I was in a difficult situation at best. Not only was it an embarrassment, it also gave Carl control of me even if only for a little time. I didn’t like to give up control. I’d find a way to get it back, but I wasn’t sure if the morning after he held my hair while I threw up was the best time.

  I reached over and grabbed my cell off the nightstand, hoping the battery wasn’t dead. My eyebrows raised noticing the full battery. Another point for Carl. There were a couple of new messages, but only one caught my eye and it was from my mom. She had
to be worried sick. I don’t remember calling her and she was expecting me home. I held my breath and opened it. I felt like such a teenager.

  Just be safe, sweetheart.

  Confused, I scrolled up to a message from me.

  I had too much to drink. Staying with Cagnie.

  Well that wasn’t from me. Or was it? I know how to spell Cagney’s name, but I did drink a lot. I looked up at the bedroom door. Did Carl send it? I fell back onto the pillows and covered my aching head. Why did he have to think of everything? I looked over to my left and noticed a bathroom. I got up to freshen up as much as possible. Then I needed to check on my clothes and get the hell out of there.

  I opened the door and looked around. I’d never been on an official tour, so I had no idea where I was in the house. It looked as if Carl’s bedroom was down the hall at the other end and Amy’s was on the right in the middle. I took a deep breath and took the tray downstairs to the kitchen.

  On my way, I noticed Carl was on the sofa working again . . . or still. I wasn’t sure he ever stopped working. He didn’t seem to notice me and I slinked on down the back hall to the kitchen. I took one step in and stopped, halfway into another step. Amy was sitting at the table eating breakfast. It was going to be awkward. Kids weren’t something I usually had to deal with the morning after, but I wasn’t sure why I was feeling guilty. Nothing happened between her father and me.

  I took a deep breath and walked in. “Hi, Amy.”

  “Rachael!” I cringed at the loud noise and she started to whisper. “Sorry. Dad said you had a headache.”

  I placed the tray on the counter and walked over to her. I touched her face and smiled. “You don’t have to whisper, sweets. Just talk a little softer.” I winked at her.

  “Where did you sleep? You could’ve slept with me.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t have wanted to disturb you, but that’s a very nice offer. Thank you.” I smiled as I sat across from her. “Um, well, I think I slept in the guest room right next to you.”