31 Days of Winter (31 Days #1)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Get down here or I’ll come and get you.’

  ‘I’m not going anywhere with you. Not when you’re in a temper. How the hell did you break that door?’

  ‘I threw a bloody log through it, so maybe now you’ll see that I’m serious about not leaving you up here for the night. Get down here, Ellie.’

  ‘No. I don’t want to be anywhere near you thank you, and don’t even think of coming up here or I’ll lock myself in the guest bedroom for the night.’

  ‘I’ll just break that door down as well. Come down or I’m coming up, your choice.’

  ‘That’s no choice,’ I hissed. I heard him sigh and as my eyes adjusted to the dark I saw him move to start taking the stairs two at a time. I quickly grabbed the pole and slid downstairs and heard him swear.

  ‘Don’t fucking move, there’s glass all over the floor,’ he snapped. Damn it, he was right and my boots were upstairs. ‘Do you have shoes on?’

  ‘No,’ I replied quietly, feeling like a chastised school girl.

  ‘Where are they?’

  ‘By the fire.’

  ‘Stay there. I bloody mean it, Ellie.’

  ‘Fine,’ I sighed. All of a sudden I just wanted to go home. Well, back to London. Anywhere away from him, away from my ridiculous feelings for a guy that obviously had some serious psychological issues. I just couldn’t understand how I kept picking them. First a married guy, then a lying, cheating, stealing drug addict, and now Mr. Split Personality. I kept my eyes on the floor as he ran down the stairs and held my boots under my nose.

  ‘Take them and put them on right now.’

  ‘A please wouldn’t go amiss,’ I replied as I snatched them off him.

  ‘You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever met,’ he bit.

  ‘ME!’ I whipped my head up to glare at him. ‘You’re a fine one to talk. I’ve never met a guy who can go from being so loving and romantic one minute to a complete and utter … arsehole the next,’ I hissed.

  ‘Arsehole?! You’re comparing me to him?’ he gasped.

  ‘At least I know what he is, what the hell do I know about you, Dan?’

  ‘More than anyone bar my parents and … you know what, forget putting on your bloody boots,’ he snapped and grabbed me, flung me over his shoulder and crunched across the broken glass slamming the door behind him, more fragments crashing to the floor.

  ‘You will put me down this minute,’ I ordered as I walloped his backside with the sole of one of my boots.

  ‘No, I fucking won’t,’ he hissed and I gasped as he laid a smarting slap with his hand on mine in return.

  ‘You did not just spank me?!’ I uttered in disbelief as the sting radiated outwards.

  ‘Act like a child, be treated like a child,’ he growled as he strode down towards the boathouse.

  ‘You’re a fine one to bloody talk. This is so beyond inappropriate. Put. Me. Down.’ I yelled as I hit him again with each word and shivered without my coat.

  ‘Behave,’ he yelled back with another cracking spank.

  ‘I hate you,’ I whimpered as my eyes filled up with tears. I felt so humiliated, confused and … turned on.

  ‘Don’t lie, I hate lies.’ His voice sounded softer, but I didn’t care.

  ‘As soon as I can get off this island I’m booking in at the hotel. I don’t ever want to see you again.’

  ‘You’re not going anywhere, I won’t let you, and you will see me again.’

  ‘I won’t. You make me so miserable and confused,’ I sniffed.

  ‘I also make you believe in yourself and sometimes I make you really happy. Stop lying to yourself.’

  ‘I’m not lying. I want to be as far away from you as possible. I came here for peace and quiet and you’ve … you’ve …’

  ‘You’ve turned my bloody world upside down as well, Ellie. Don’t make out this is all one sided. I tried staying away all day because I hate myself. Last night, kissing you, watching you sleeping in my arms was the happiest I’ve been in years and I can’t be. I know I’m jerking you around and you have every reason to hate me, but you don’t understand.’

  ‘Because you won’t explain,’ I moaned as I reached up and wiped some tears from my eyes, that were weirdly trickling the wrong way into my hairline as I hung limply over his shoulder.

  ‘You’re leaving in nine days, I want you to go with some happy memories of me, like last night.’

  ‘Last night was wonderful, but you make me forget all of that when you close off and are all cold. It’s getting worse the more time we spend together, the extremes are really painful.’

  ‘I know,’ he sighed as he stepped up onto his veranda and opened the front door. He ducked as he entered, one protective hand on my still smarting backside to make sure I didn’t hurt it on the door frame. Ironic after the two harsh spanks he’d just laid on it. He set me down and backed away, rubbing his hands over his mouth as I glanced up at him. ‘I’m hungry, I need to eat before we talk.’

  ‘You haven’t eaten already?’

  ‘No, I sat here trying to work out what I was going to say to you.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘I still haven’t worked it out, I just didn’t like the idea of you alone and cold up there.’

  ‘You’re a complete contradiction,’ I sighed and bent down to put my boots back on.

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘I need some space to think what I’m going to say, too. I’ll be outside, I’ll come in when I’m ready.’

  ‘Ellie, it’s still really cold.’

  ‘I’ll just be outside on the veranda.’ I could just make out that he nodded, before I grabbed a blanket, wrapped myself up in it and went to sit outside with a heavy sigh and a wince as my stinging backside met the hard wood of the chair. I so desperately wanted to talk to Brooke, I needed her advice. I pulled my iPhone out of my jeans pocket and turned it on, thankful I charged it every night and it still had some decent battery life left in it from the last charge on Christmas morning. I didn’t have a signal and hung over the edge of the bannister and saw a flicker on the bars. I looked up and around me, the boathouse and the surrounding trees were probably masking the signal, I needed to be somewhere a bit more open. I headed out onto the jetty and stood waiting as I looked at it. Eventually a slight signal showed, so I tried a text first, just in case I lost it again.

  Hi, Brooke. I hope you get this, so sorry I’ve not been in touch before. We had a power cut on Christmas Day and are without electrics, phone, Wi-Fi, the works. Trying to save my iPhone for emergencies only, but this classes as one. He’s driving me INSANE and I really wanted to talk to you. I miss you so much, I can’t wait to see you next week. Hope things are going ok with Molly? I’m going to try ringing you, but wanted to text quickly in case I lose the signal again. Really hope I get to speak to you. xxxx

  I moved down the end of the jetty, away from the trees and saw the signal flicker up to a full bar. I tried dialling Brooke, but every time I lifted it to my ear, I lost the connection. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and looked back at the boathouse, dreading whatever conversation he was planning on having with me. I just had a feeling it would be more apologies and no explanations, which was starting to wear thin. I smiled as I realised how adorable the boathouse looked, still covered in snow, the fire and candle lighting up the windows and the moon casting a bright white light over the veranda. I squatted down and took a picture on my iPhone, pleased with how good it looked. As I went to stand up I gasped as I lost my balance, wobbled and my phone flew out of my hand as I tried to steady myself.

  ‘Shit, Ellie,’ I muttered as I teetered on the edge and righted myself. I looked down to see my phone had landed on the wooden walkway, thank God. I stepped toward it and my boot skidded on a patch of ice and I felt myself falling backwards and let out an involuntary cry. I yelped as I landed on the jetty, the wood connecting harshly with my bottom. I quickly reached behind me to steady myself on the planks below me, but my hands met nothi
ng. Before I knew what was happening I fell backwards again, tipping over the edge of the jetty and cracked my head on the ice of the loch below me as I landed. I held my breath as I tried to recover from the shock, then screamed as I heard the unmistakable sound of the ice cracking up below me, as fast as I tried to scramble upright on the slippery surface to grab the jetty, I wasn’t fast enough and screamed again as the ice gave way and I was plunged into the freezing cold water below me.

  I barely had time to take a breath before I went under and flailed in the water, my jeans and jumper dragging me down. I felt a sharp pain in my right arm as I tried to grasp the edge of the ice above me to haul myself out. I forced myself to open my eyes as the numbing cold started to take effect and slow down my efforts to struggle to the surface. I was running out of air and I couldn’t see the hole I’d fallen through anymore. All I could see was a solid sheet of ice above me which I hammered on from below in a panic, but I was too cold to put any power into. No! I was not going to drown in an icy fucking loch, not after everything I’d just been through this last few weeks. I started going light headed from the lack of oxygen and my arms and legs slowed so much I felt myself sinking even further down. I heard a muffled sound of splintering and saw cracks forming above me, then suddenly something large was next to me, a strong arm circled my waist and hauled me upwards breaking through the ice above us, and I gasped again and again trying to fill my lungs as my whole body shook. Everything was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out.

  ‘Fuck Ellie, stay with me, you’re going to be ok. Stay with me, ok?’ Dan’s voice sounded muffled as the pounding of my heart filled my ears. I felt my body being lifted out of the arctic water, then the hardness of the wooden jetty feeling warm against my back as I shivered. I felt him check the pulse in my neck as I panted. Suddenly I was being lifted again and hauled against his cold wet chest. ‘Focus on me Ellie, stay with me. I need to get you warm, or you’re going to go into shock from the cold and the panic, you’re going to be ok, I promise, just stay with me. Please.’

  ‘D … Da … Dan,’ I stuttered as my body shook in his strong arms. I was freezing. I’d never felt so cold in my life and I felt so sick.

  ‘Breathe slowly baby, don’t pass out on me or I’ll have to give you mouth to mouth and I know how much you’d hate that,’ he smiled down at me. I closed my eyes as I managed a half-smile in return. He’d just called me “baby” and I wasn’t even sure if he knew he had. He really cared, no matter what his actions said sometimes he really felt seriously crazy about me, he wasn’t lying, I just knew it. I was on the verge of passing out, the roaring in my ears, headache and dry mouth all indicators, but suddenly I felt hot water raining down on me snapping me out of it. I tried opening my eyes, and my head lolled, my cheek resting against Dan’s cold t-shirt as he sank to the floor, holding me in his lap as the hot water poured over us both. ‘Talk to me Ellie, let me know you’re ok?’

  ‘Cold,’ I whispered.

  ‘I need to undress you, your clothes are freezing and it will stop the heat warming you up. I don’t care if you have a problem with that, I’m getting you naked.’ He didn’t even ask, it was a formality, a courteous advisement of what was about to happen. I didn’t object as he started to pull my heavy sodden jumper up over my head. I knew he was right. Heat directly onto skin was the fastest way of warming me up and getting my circulation moving properly again. I tried to unbutton my jeans, but my hands were shaking so violently I couldn’t even connect with them. ‘Don’t, just concentrate on slow deep breathes, I’ll look after your clothes, I’ll look after you.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I managed to say as I felt him unhook my bra and slide it off me. He deftly spun me in his lap and put me between his legs, my back to his chest. He reached around and undid my buttons and zip and tugged as I lifted my bottom to let him slide them off me, along with my soaked cold knickers. I kicked them off before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back against him, right under the downpour.

  ‘Shit, Ellie. You gave me the fright of my life. If I hadn’t heard you scream, I … fuck. Do you have any idea how scared I was when I came out and couldn’t see you anywhere?’

  ‘Sorry,’ I whispered. I could hear the panic in his voice, the torch he’d propped on the sink also showed me that his hands were shaking.

  ‘Thank God the moon was so bright tonight, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to see where you’d gone through and go in after you. Do you have any idea how lucky you were? A few seconds later and you’d have drowned. I could have … I … fuck, Ellie. What the hell were you doing?’

  ‘Trying to … ring Brooke to tell her … you were … an arsehole,’ I advised between shaky breathes of hot steamed welcome air. I closed my eyes as the memory of that cold water closing in all around me came back.

  ‘I was an arsehole, but can we talk about that tomorrow, when I know you’re ok. Fuck, your arm’s bleeding. You must have cut it on some ice or the jetty as you went under. Stay here, I’ll dry off and get some gauze and tape and we’ll get it cleaned up.’

  ‘Ok,’ I nodded as I continued to shiver. I felt him kiss the back of my head before he scooted me forward and got up. I pulled my knees up to my chest, feeling vulnerable naked, and huddled on the floor while he towered over me. He bent down, repositioned me under the water then straightened up and peeled off his wet t-shirt. I didn’t hide the fact that I was looking up at him. It may be the only chance I got before I left to see him completely naked up close and personal, in all his manly glory, that should help to heat me up. I needed to put some distance between us as soon as we could get off this island, so I was going to use my plight to my advantage. He pulled at his sodden tracksuit bottoms, taking his boxers with them as well. I felt my eyes go large as saucers as I got a nearly eye level view of his impressive package.

  ‘Eyes Ellie, you just nearly drowned. Looking at my cock like that while you sit there naked is unfair.’

  ‘I’m thinking I know a way that will warm me up really fast,’ I nodded as he straightened up and I watched it unfurl and stiffen. I gulped. It was seriously beautiful.

  ‘I thought you hated me,’ he advised as he turned his back on me and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, leaving the rest of the droplets of water clinging to the edges of his defined muscles. He was in absolutely sensational shape and watching him was taking my mind off my near death experience.

  ‘I was angry, you confuse me so much with your changing moods,’ I replied.

  ‘Which is why I prefer to be alone. I warned you from the start that I’m not a people person.’ He rummaged in his bathroom cabinet, turned around and turned off the shower. Using a damp facecloth he crouched down, cleaned the gash on my arm, dabbed it dry with a hand towel, quickly applied some antiseptic cream, a number of steri-strips to hold it closed, then applied an adhesive dressing over the top. ‘Does that feel better?’

  ‘Much thank you, but I’m still cold,’ I advised with a shiver that backed up my claim.

  ‘Take my hand, we’ll get you dry and into some clothes by the fire. I can make you some coffee to warm you up, with a brandy in it, then you need to get into bed to stay warm. A good sleep will help you recover.’

  ‘I was taking the sofa tonight.’

  ‘Don’t bloody argue with me Ellie, not tonight, not after I … not after I thought I’d just lost you. Just don’t, please.’ He held out his hand, I took it and he hauled me up, averting his eyes as I stood naked in front of him, still shaking. He grabbed a towel and handed it to me, before turning his back again. I quickly wrapped it around my chest and secured it.

  ‘I’m decent now,’ I advised him. He turned around and pulled me against him and tipped my head back, gently towel drying my long hair for me as he studied my face. ‘What?’

  ‘Do you have any idea what you just put me through?’ he sighed.

  ‘You were really worried?’

  ‘I was nearly sick. You’re still trembling, you need
some food, or some sugar at least.’

  ‘Thank you for jumping in after me,’ I nodded sincerely as I looked up at his concerned mossy green eyes.

  ‘I was just thinking of the refund I’d have to pay to your estate if you croaked before the end of your rental period,’ he teased.

  ‘You know, I’d heard the Scots had a reputation for being tight fisted, but that’s low, even by their standards.’

  ‘Less talk more action please, I want you by the fire, now.’

  ‘That sounds like plenty of action,’ I grinned with a bite of my lip as I looked up at him. He smiled back and dipped his head, hesitating in front of my face. I went the distance and pulled him down to me and kissed him. ‘Thank you, you saved my life.’ I kissed him again, putting as much feeling for him as I could into it. I heard him gasp, felt his cock swelling against my stomach, he’d felt my gratitude, possibly even more, maybe he’d just realised how I actually felt about him. He lifted me up into his arms and carried me through to the fire and settled me down on the rug as he went to make me a hot coffee and tipped a good glug of brandy into it. He buttered some bread and dotted the plate with some chunks of various cheeses and handed it all to me and sat behind me, sliding his legs either side of mine, pressing up behind me again as he rubbed his hands up and down my shoulders.

  ‘You’re still cold.’

  ‘I’m warming up, I promise,’ I nodded.

  ‘Finish eating then we’re going to bed.’

  ‘Dan,’ I objected.

  ‘Ellie, I need to be close to you tonight, to watch over you, just in case. No arguing.’

  ‘Ok,’ I conceded. I felt better knowing he was close, that he’d protect me from any nightmares. ‘Aren’t you still cold?’

  ‘I was only in there briefly, you were fully submerged for some time judging by the scream I heard until I found you. I saw a glow from your phone on the jetty which made me realise you’d probably fallen in.’

  ‘Shit, my phone. Do you have it?’

  ‘I was a little preoccupied being a hero. It will be there in the morning.’