Beautifully Broken

by Christa Simpson

  Truth is, he has been thinking about Felicia lately. He’s had a hard time thinking about anything but her this entire week.

  When Matt glances hesitantly inside the clear glass doors, he catches an eyeful of Felicia bending over to fix her shoe. He loves the way her ass looks from that angle. It seems to double in size when she bends over. He has to blink hard to shake that beautiful image from his head. Just as he has feared, the memories have already come flooding back.

  “Matty!” a cheery voice shouts from down the road.

  He spins his chair to face the girl. A tall, thin blonde is waving madly at him. She’s an adorable specimen, dressed casually in a pair of dark skinny jeans and grey UGGs that match her swanky scarf. “Look at you,” Matt says, smiling. “How the hell are ya?”

  She props both her hands on her hips. “Matthew Knight, don’t you dare say that you don’t remember me.”

  “No. No. I remember. How could I forget you, Natalie?”

  She looks naturally happy to see him, especially now that he’s acknowledged their friendship. Natalie seems to have grown into her oversized glasses over these past few months since she’s moved to town. They make her look less like a clumsy book nerd and more like a naughty librarian.

  “Something’s different about you. The glasses,” he states.

  She leans into him and smiles, swatting playfully at his arm. “You noticed. It’s the hair. I dyed it dark. You like?”

  “You look good. How’ve you been?”

  “Good, good. The big question is, how are you?”

  Matt hates when people ask him this question. The last thing people want to hear is how he feels like he’s been living in a black hole where depression festers and dreams die. “Getting there. Slowly.”

  Her hand seems to curl around his arm. “Wow. Have you been working out? Not that you weren’t buff before, but—wow!—your arms are huge.”

  He winks at her. “I have started lifting. After being treated like a paralyzed newt for six months I might have gone a little overboard, but my trainer makes sure I don’t overdo it.”

  “You have a trainer?”

  Matt shrugs his shoulders and admits the truth. “He’s a physical therapist and a life coach, I guess. I just like to call him that to save my ego in public.”

  “You worry too much. You look like the same old Matty Knight to me.” Then her eyes return to his arms. “Except for these arms.” Her hands wrap around them again, like her fingertips are magnetized to his biceps. “I’m sorry, but they are so damn sexy. I’m surprised you don’t have a fan club groping you all the time.”

  “Are you volunteering?” His smile quirks up to the side.

  Her laugh is as dorky as he remembers. Not that he has spent a whole lot of time with her. The weekend they met, Felicia had kept him very busy in the bedroom. He didn’t see much other than Felicia’s beautiful body over that entire time.

  “I should get in there. Destiny will have a bird if I’m late. It was good seeing you. We’ll have to catch up more later. Are you coming in?”

  It takes a great deal of courage for Matt to hit the blue button for wheelchair access, but he does it. Natalie continues to chirp at him while he wheels into the room. Felicia doesn’t seem to notice him at all. She continues to do her thing, while he fades into the perimeter of the room and watches her from afar.

  If attitude is everything, then Felicia has that in the bag. She’s not afraid to get a little down and dirty and she’ll always tell you like it is. She looks provocative, impatient, and untouchable. That is new. He still remembers a time when Felicia wasn’t off limits. She’d let him touch her all over and he did. What happened?

  Oh, right.

  A lot has changed since the accident that stripped him of his arrogant charm. After surviving a near-death experience, he is able to respect that there is more to life than animal magnetism. He’s had a lot of time to reflect on his life. He had been wasting away—a useless excuse of a man—treating women like ice cream. He’d taste a different flavor every week and never bother to head back for seconds.

  He is still working on it, but Matt truly believes that he has more going for him now than he ever has. His arms are his pride and joy. Lifting weights has been the only thing in this life that has been steady and sure. He plans to pull out all kinds of other fabulous qualities he can drum up at this party. He only hopes Felicia is paying attention.

  He’s off to a good start. While the rest of the wedding party follow Destiny’s ridiculous orders, he gets to sit here and watch Felicia in that thin scrap of black lace that she wears over a fitted nude shirt. She looks amazing, the same way she’s appeared in his dreams all these months, only in the flesh. He can’t wait to talk to her, but he bides his time. He doesn’t want to look desperate. Because he’s far from it.

  Matt rolls forward, having to wait for a few couples who are passing him to take their seats first. The place is kind of awkward. There’s little room for him to maneuver now that all the tables are arranged to Destiny’s standards. The lights begin to dim as more couples take their seats.

  Jesus! Am I the only one who showed up single?

  Most of the guests have already purchased alcoholic beverages. This is unlike any other wedding shower he’s ever witnessed over the years. Who is he kidding? He’s never been to a wedding shower before. Coming from a family of all boys, he’s never had to suffer through one.

  Another first for him is coming to a party where he can stare shamelessly at a beautiful woman and for her to completely ignore him. But the way Felicia covers the entire room in those tall skinny heels has him captivated. The swing of those wide hips, the curve of that tiny waist, the click of those magnificent black heels. He imagines her beneath him wearing nothing but them.

  “Matt, quit staring.” Skylar is standing next to him, smirking. “Why don’t you just go over there and say hi?”

  The bastard knows I’m chicken.

  Matt glances around the room for a safe place to hide. “I’m just looking for my seat. I’m surprised Destiny doesn’t have name tags on the tables.”

  “Don’t give her any ideas.” Skylar looks seriously distraught.

  “There’s my Matty!” a woman calls from the door, tearing them from conversation.

  “That’s my cue to leave.”

  Skylar disappears before the large, overdressed lady notices him. She rushes toward Matt like he’s the only one in the room.

  “Aunt Bea. How are you?”

  The old lady leans over and blinds him with a pair of saggy grandma titties that brush across his face and rest on his lap. She squeezes him a little too tightly and kisses him on the cheek. She laughs when she notices the ridiculous pink stain on his skin. “How are you doing, sweetheart?” she says, as she smears the lipstick across his cheek with her thumb. “I was hoping to see you up and around. Hasn’t the rehab been working?”

  “I’ve been making steady progress, but these things take time. The doctors were saying I might never walk again. Most of the time was spent healing. Only very recently have I introduced walking and weight lifting.”

  She hugs him again. He gets a better whiff of the putrid, old lady musk. If he had to name it, it’d be called a sour, floral-funeral scent. He thinks he’ll need a shower to wash the fragrance from his skin after she’s gone. But how is he going to get rid of her?

  “Have you seen Sky yet?” Matt says, cleverly. He knows she hasn’t. Together, he and Skylar had watched her walk in the door.

  “You know what? I haven’t. Where is that handsome stud muffin?”

  Matt barely manages to hide his cringe as he scouts out his unlucky brother. “Oh, look. There he is.” Matt points him out and everything.

  Skylar makes eye contact with Matt and he doesn’t look impressed as Aunt Beatrice makes her waddling approach. Matt can’t stop smiling. It was the only way to get rid of her.

  Matt turns away, finally breaking his brother’s stare. He rolls up to a table, moves
a chair out of the way, and slides into his spot. Normally, before he was emasculated, he would have everyone around him getting drunk off his awesomeness, but tonight he is feeling surprisingly mellow and no one seems to take notice of his arrival.

  He suddenly wishes he’d invited more company, so he could continue to avoid his family and have a half-decent time, all things considered.

  “Looking for someone?” a voice calls out from behind him.

  Matt turns his chair to give a proper reception.

  “Sarkis? Hey, buddy. You made it.”

  Sarkis reaches for his hand, locks onto it and gently bumps against his chest. “You didn’t think I was going to leave you hanging, did you?” He whispers this next bit. “After all this shit you’ve been telling me about this girl, I had to come and see her for myself.”

  Matt smirks. “Don’t let Destiny see you. She’ll have a fit if she finds out that you’re not on the guest list.”

  “You didn’t add me onto the list. Uh-oh. You’re in trouble.”

  “How did you get in here, anyways?”

  “I said I was with you.” He smiles, showing a lot of white teeth.

  “With me . . . like with with me?”

  He shrugs and lets out a roar. “What’s wrong? You don’t like me like that, Knight?”

  Matt glances at his handsome, dark-skinned friend. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re a good looking guy . . .” he teases, remembering the conversation they had earlier in the day. “But you’re not my type. I prefer the female variety.”

  Sarkis laughs even harder. “Nah. I told them I’m your physiotherapist. When all else fails, go for the truth.”

  “Well, I’m glad you came.”

  Sarkis pulls up a chair and straddles it. “Is Knight feeling a little down? Haven’t you seen the girl? I bet she’ll put a smile on your face.”

  “Please shut up about the girl. Yeah, I saw her. It’s not going to happen.”

  Sarkis talks really slowly, as if Matt might not understand him if he speaks at a normal speed. “Have you talked to her?” He frowns over his shoulder to see who it is that has Matt’s rapt attention. “Damn! Is that her?”

  Matt grabs his friend’s shoulder and less than gently orders him to quit staring.

  “Holy shit, kids. You weren’t kidding. She’s one hot mama.”

  “Don’t even think about it,” Matt growls, and suddenly he looks like a convicted felon.

  “Hey. Come on, now. Would I do that to you?”

  “Without blinking an eye.”

  Sarkis checks over his shoulder again. “Damn! If you’re not going to tap that, I definitely would like to. I won’t, but I’d really like to. Tell me, Knight. Do you got this one?”

  Matt grits his teeth, snarling like a mad dog and speaking through a locked jaw. "I said, shut up.”

  “What’s gotten into you? I’m just playing. I’ll leave your girl off tonight’s menu.”

  “Like I said before, it’s not going to happen. Already over it.”

  Sarkis doesn’t respond. It probably has something to do with Matt freezing in place when he hears a voice from farther down the table. It’s Felicia’s voice that rolls over him in a cool wave. Sarkis smiles at her the way he and Matt always do at the clubs, reeling the ladies in with their sinister good looks.

  Felicia notices the attention and doesn’t make her next comment quietly. "Why is it when you're in a relationship, every man wants you?"

  So, she has a boyfriend now, does she? Have other men already approached her tonight, or is Sarkis the first one to look at her that way and get a response?

  Matt doesn’t give a flying fuck. In fact, Sarkis can try his luck. Matt won’t be one of those unfortunate souls.

  Felicia’s friend, whose whisper has now turned to an elevated chirp, adds new flavor to the conversation. “Is it love, though? With true love there's hot sex.”

  Her statement seems to stab him in the gut. “That explains why I'm not getting any,” Matt mumbles, knowing that Sarkis is listening in too.

  Matt hasn’t had sex since the accident. Sarkis doesn’t know this much, but the truth is he’s afraid he won’t be able to perform.

  “Sarkis. Your sister. Is she available for a night out if I need her?”

  “If you’re talking about Katie, she’s not in the escorting business anymore.”

  “I didn’t plan to pay her anyway, so that’s good. Do you think she’ll do an injured man a favor?”

  “For you? Without a doubt.” Sarkis’ smile curls up on both sides. “Looking to make that girl jealous?”

  “You know it.”

  Chapter 3: On Your Knees

  When Destiny tugs Skylar to the front of the room, everyone slowly draws their eyes toward them. The music quiets, the chatter slows, and Destiny starts talking.

  “Welcome everyone. Thank you so much for coming out tonight. Skylar and I appreciate it so much. We’re overwhelmed from all your generosity,” she announces.

  Skylar helps with the introduction, making Destiny feign a pout. “Destiny tells me I have to introduce my groomsmen for those of you who don’t already know them.” He squeezes onto his blonde beauty and smiles down at her. They share a kiss before he continues on. It’s not until Skylar starts talking again that Felicia realizes she’s scowling at them.

  “Can I get all of the wedding party to come forward for a minute?”

  They wait all of five seconds before moving right along. She still hasn’t seen Matt yet and wonders whether he’s even coming tonight.

  “My boy, Grant, will be standing up with me,” Skylar says, pointing him out of the crowd. “My brother, Carter, will too. But unfortunately he wasn’t able to make it here tonight.”

  Carter Knight. She is looking forward to meeting him. She hears he’s just as good looking as the other two Knight brothers, except maybe a little more dark in the eyes and the attitude. Clearly Carter doesn’t think this event is important enough to take the flight here from out west. He’s just a pompous ass, from what Destiny tells her.

  Even though he and Skylar have never seen eye-to-eye, out of respect for their mother Carter should have come. It’s the only reason he’s even in the wedding party. Destiny thinks he and Skylar need to repair their relationship and together the women in the family have tried to make it happen.

  Good luck with that.

  “Matty. Where you at?” Skylar shouts over the microphone.

  The spotlight swallows up the black floor until it lands on Matt in the center of the room.

  “There he is. That’s my best man right there. A good man.”

  An enthusiastic guest starts hooting like he’s an admiring fan at a sports game and everyone smiles except for Felicia. She’s sure her face is as white as a ghost, and she just stares at Matt as if he hasn’t been wheeling around the room all night. He pulls up right next to her.

  “How’s it going?”

  She doesn’t even answer him. She’s finding it difficult to see beyond those arms. Holy crap. Look at them! They’re just as defined as she remembers, only bigger around. Felicia loses herself in thoughts while Skylar continues to explain how he and Destiny have selected their wedding party. No one seems to notice her error—except Matt.

  She knows she’ll have to answer him at some point tonight, but it is just as well that they don’t have an audience when she does. She begins again to gawk shamelessly and again he catches her. Her face warms a few more degrees when his eyes scour her body.

  Felicia still thinks about the way every muscle in his body flexed when he assaulted her with his weapons of desire: his hands, his mouth, his tongue. Her body trembles with the memory. Even his smile is dangerous. And he knows it. She can feel him working it over her this very minute.

  The biggest trouble is fending off the other notable weapons that she has almost forgotten about. The savage look in his eyes when he is ready for more . . . the way his voice turns husky when he takes her. She tears her eyes away from him before
he realizes that she’s still hung up on him. She internally scolds herself.

  Matty is rated "E" for Everyone. He’s not worth it.

  So why does she crave another go with him?

  Skylar takes Destiny’s hand and links their fingers, while smiling down at her. “For those of you who haven’t met my beautiful Destiny . . .”

  Everyone’s attention is focused on the happy couple, except for Matt. He still hasn’t let go of Felicia’s rude reception. She’s not sure she knows how to handle him just yet.

  “Is there a problem here?” he asks softly.

  “Not now,” she says, through a painted-on smile.

  Fake. That’s what she is. And she can tell he doesn’t like it one bit.

  She wishes he would just leave it be and let her do her own thing, but he doesn’t. She can tell he plans to spend the rest of his night seducing her back into his bed. How is she supposed to ward that off? She’s not a mean person, but she has to think of something fast.

  Destiny’s voice shimmers when she introduces her bridesmaids. Her sister, Kyla, rolls her eyes the entire time. Felicia and Natalie are singled out too, one at a time.

  “Seriously, Felicia. If weren’t for you, I would have never met Sky and none of us would be here tonight. Thank you for being an amazing friend,” Destiny says, pouring her heart out in front of all the guests.

  Felicia nearly faints with relief once she realizes that Destiny isn’t going to tie Matt’s name into the mix. Just what she needs, Destiny announcing to everyone what a big slut she used to be. While she’s had her fair share of fun in previous years, Matt was somehow different to her. She’s spent many months trying to figure out what it is about him that has her categorizing him separately, but she’s hasn’t quite pinpointed it.

  No, she isn’t talking about his enormous penis and his even bigger ego. It is something else entirely. She can’t put her finger on it, but it’s becoming clearer now that they’re sharing the same breathing space again. She remembers the passion that was infused in everything he said and did when they were together.