"You are," Knox confirmed. "He's left me several texts and voicemails. I've honestly been avoiding them. I'm sorry that he bothered you at the office."
"It's not a problem. He talked to Carrie and she took the message. I just wondered if everything was okay."
Was it okay? The answer was complicated.
"I don't have any desire to talk to him. He's told my siblings that he's changed."
"And you doubt that."
It wasn't phrased as a question.
"I can't even imagine him changing. Why would he?"
"He was in prison. That might change a man."
"If he wanted to change."
"That's true. I find that few people truly have it in them to make great changes. Small ones? Maybe. Big ones that require work and sacrifice? Rare as hen's teeth."
"I am sorry that he called the office," Knox apologized again. "He shouldn't have done that."
"Like I said, it's not an issue. I just wanted to make sure that you knew."
Knox couldn't seem to stop himself from asking the next question. It was stupid, but he respected Logan's opinion. The man had more family shit to deal with than anyone else Knox knew.
"Do you think I should talk to him?"
Logan chuckled, and Knox could almost see his boss shake his head. "I don't have an opinion here. It's not my dad and it wasn't my childhood."
"You've had family issues too."
"True. What I think you need to do is ask yourself if talking to your father is something that you want to do. Is it? Because you don't have to no matter what your brothers and sisters say. They can't make that decision for you. A lot of people will tell you that he's getting old and he might not be alive for much longer. That you need to make your peace with him before he passes. I'm not sure that I'm a big proponent of that type of thinking. Because you can never make peace with someone that wants chaos."
Chaos. That was an excellent word to describe what followed Ben Owens through his life. By his own doing, of course.
"Those are some wise words."
He'd made Logan laugh even harder. "Shit, I don't have any wisdom. I'm just talking out of my ass most of the time. Just ask my wife, she'll tell you. Just...listen to me, Knox. Don't let anyone pressure you either way. This is your decision. Frankly, I trust your judgment. You'll do fine."
That was a huge statement. Logan Wright trusted Knox's judgment. Big, big stuff.
"I appreciate that."
"Let us know whatever you need. This case has become a priority since the fire this morning. You keep your girl safe."
Had it only been this morning? It seemed as if it was days ago. So much had happened in that short span of time.
One thing was for sure. No one was getting near Jenna.
Jenna had allowed Knox to hold and comfort her while she cried and sobbed, haunted by what she'd experienced in Brett Hedgcock's house. She couldn't stop the horrifying images of Lori with Brett, possibly begging for her life or even worse, being held captive by him to live out one of his sick fantasies. Even now that she'd somewhat pulled herself together and they'd arrived back at the safe house, she couldn't shake the feeling that Hedgcock was responsible for Lori's disappearance.
Knox had been wonderful, even holding her hand while he drove back, and never letting her think that he wasn't there for her. She was sure that she wouldn't have been able to deal with any of this without him. Funny, how she'd come to depend on him so quickly. She'd always been a little standoffish about being comforted or showing too much emotion around others. She liked thinking that she could deal with whatever the world threw her on her own. Today that image had been crushed.
"Do you want me to make you a drink?" Knox asked, his hand on a kitchen cabinet handle. "I saw a few bottles up here when I was looking around earlier."
She wouldn't mind a shot of whiskey to steady her nerves but she didn't want Eli Hammond to think that she had a drinking problem. She'd only met the former lawman and new co-worker of Knox's about ten minutes ago. He seemed like a nice man, perhaps closer to forty than thirty. He had a calm way about him when he shook her hand warmly, introducing himself. He could easily see the traces of tears on her cheeks but he didn't say anything, simply offering to pour her a glass of iced tea which she gratefully accepted. Crying so much had certainly left her dehydrated.
"I'm good." She held up her glass of tea. "Maybe later."
Eli sidled closer to the back door. "I think I'm going to go outside and check around the perimeter. Let me know if you need anything."
The other man slipped out of the door leaving Knox and Jenna alone.
"I think he's trying to give us privacy," Jenna said. "He seems like a nice guy."
"He is," Knox confirmed with a nod. "I don't know him super well. He's new and helped Luke on a case before he came here. But he seems to know what he's doing and I have to say that so far, my bosses have made good hires for the most part. There's been a few that couldn't hack it but we figured that out damn quick. There's nowhere to hide in our job. If you don't know what the hell you're doing, it's going to show."
She looked up at the clock. "When are you going to talk to Cal?"
Even if Knox left right away, he wouldn't be back until late in the evening.
Grimacing, he followed her gaze. "I need to leave as soon as possible, but I don't like the idea of leaving you here when you're so upset."
"That's sweet but you need to do this. I'll be fine," she assured him, giving him her best smile. "I got upset, that's true, but I'm not going to fall apart. You need to talk to your brother. I'll be okay here with Eli."
She didn't have the luxury of continuing to be upset. They had an investigation to do. She could fall apart later when it was all over. In fact, she was going to set aside some time to do just that.
Knox went outside to talk to Eli and then came back to kiss her goodbye. He told them not to wait dinner on him but he'd try and be home for it if he could. Jenna stood at the window watching him drive away, wishing she could go with him. Not this time, though. She'd been lucky so far that he'd brought her into his work.
"I'm a poor substitute for Knox but would you like to play a board game or cards? Maybe watch some television? It might help pass the time and get your mind off of things," Eli said. "Or I can just keep quiet and sit in the corner."
The idea of Eli sitting in the living room like a garden gnome had her smiling. Which she was sure was what he was hoping for when he said it.
"I wouldn't mind a game of cards. What did you have in mind? Gin rummy? Poker?"
Eli's face lit up. "You play poker?"
"I'll take all your money and have you crying to your mama."
"Lady, I am in. Let's do this."
Two hours later, Jenna had a huge pile of pretzels and cookies in front of her while Eli's pile was rapidly dwindling. Because they'd wanted to stay friends, they'd decided to forgo betting actual cash money and used the snacks in the cupboards instead. Pretzels were a dollar and cookies were two dollars. While she was having a good time, she had a feeling that this man was perhaps letting her win. He didn't seem the type to bet recklessly but he had more than a few times.
"I think you're letting me win," she finally said, raking in another pot. He'd bet on a loser hand that he should have folded right away. "You don't have to do that. I'm not going to wither away and cry if I don't win. I promise. Maybe we should play blackjack. It's harder to throw that game."
Eli bit into one of his remaining cookies. "These aren't too bad. You can't go wrong with chocolate chip."
"I'm more of a snickerdoodle kind of gal but I do like chocolate chip. And oatmeal."
"Oatmeal is good. But not with raisins."
"I hate raisins too."
They'd pretty much exhausted the topic of cookies. Eli was trying to be kind to her, which she appreciated, but he didn't have to walk on eggshells. If he was going to help with the investigation, she didn't want him feeling like he couldn't speak freely.
>
"I'm okay now," Jenna said. "I was upset before but I'm good. I'm guessing that Knox filled you in on our visit to Brett Hedgcock. It was so incredibly strange. It messed with my head a bit."
"And your heart, I would imagine," Eli replied with a gentle smile. "Having your sister disappear one day and then wondering what happened all these months cannot have been easy for you or your family. You're obviously a strong person, Jenna."
"I'm trying to be." She paused not sure if she could put her feelings into words. "It was all just so surreal. He talked about Lori like...she's still alive. And I hope that she is, but..."
"But you're losing hope?"
"Yes, I'm losing hope."
It was hard to admit. She'd said it out loud before but always in the back of her mind was a pinprick of hope. Did she even still have it? To be honest, she'd been thinking about Lori as passed on for awhile now. She wanted to believe, be optimistic. But she also didn't want to be a fool, living in an unreality. It would only make things worse down the line.
"It's hard to lose our hope," Eli said, his expression changing. "Sometimes hope is all that keeps us going, getting us out of bed every day. Even when all we want to do is pull the covers over our heads and go back to sleep. Because when we're asleep we can pretend that all of it isn't happening."
"You sound like you know this from experience."
Leaning his elbows on the table, he bit into another cookie. "My wife Debra passed away several years ago. Cancer. Some days hope was all I had to keep me going."
Shit, she shouldn't have asked. That was...personal.
"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry," she repeated, her cheeks growing warm.
He shook his head. "You didn't ask. I told you. It's not a huge secret or anything. I don't talk about it much, but I'm at a point where I can. This job, actually, is supposed to be my new start in life. New job, new surroundings. But I'll never forget Debra, and you won't forget Lori either. She'll always be alive inside of you."
He touched his chest right over his heart. Jenna’s throat tightened painfully as new tears burned the back of her eyes.
"I don't want to forget her but sometimes...sometimes I get busy and life happens and then I realize I haven't thought about her in a whole day or even two days. Then I feel like shit because she's my sister and I love her. How can I possibly forget about her? I must be a terrible person."
Eli reached across the table and patted her hand. "You're not even remotely a bad person. It's okay to not think about Lori every second of every day. I don't know anything about your sister, but I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you that she wouldn't want you to put your life on hold for her. I know that's what Debra would have said. In fact, she told me that if I just laid around the house mourning for her she'd be really disappointed in me. She said that I had to live my life or it would all be a waste. She was wise like that. She always knew things that I didn't know."
"She sounds like a smart woman."
He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "Now that might be debatable considering she ended up marrying me, but I always thought she was a smart one. Pretty too. Maybe she just took pity on me. I had to ask her twice to marry me before she said yes. The first time she said that we should think about it because we were so young."
"How old were you?"
"Nineteen. She was eighteen. I was going into the military and I didn't want to leave her behind. She eventually said yes but I had to do some begging. Don't regret it, though. It was worth it. There's nothing better than marriage when it's to the right person."
"And if it's the wrong one?"
"I would imagine there's nothing more hellish," Eli replied, popping a pretzel into his mouth. "Now how about you and I start thinking about dinner? Knox is going to be hungry when he gets home."
That was an excellent suggestion. She needed to keep moving forward. Sitting around was only allowing her to wallow in all the crap that had happened to her family. Despite everything that had happened today, the most important thing hadn't changed.
Finding the truth about Lori.
21
"What the hell was that for?"
Callum Owens was lying on his ass and rubbing his sore jaw where Knox had punched him.
The entire drive here Knox's anger and frustration with his brother had grown. Cal had been treating everyone around him like shit since he was a kid and Knox was tired of it. Exhausted, actually, of dealing with the bullshit. Their parents hadn't done a damn thing to rein in Cal, and while Knox and his siblings had made an effort over the years, it was simply easier not to be around him at all. More peaceful, too.
By the time Cal opened his front door, Knox had built up quite a head of steam. He might not have done anything to Lori to cause her to go missing, but he'd treated her - and all his other girlfriends - like shit. If Lori was anything at all like Jenna, she hadn't deserved that.
So Knox had punched him. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last, either. That he was sure of. Cal had punched Knox as well many times over the years. Since Cal didn't like to talk things over, they'd usually end up arguing the old-fashioned way - with their fists. When they were younger, they'd been more evenly matched, but as time had marched on Cal had let himself go a bit and now Knox could cream him if he wanted to.
"Because you deserved it," Knox stated, stepping farther inside Cal's home and slamming the door behind him. "In fact, someone should punch you in the face every fucking day until you straighten the hell up."
"It's nice to see you too, little brother," Cal mocked, a wide grin appearing on his face as he hopped up from the floor. Knox should have hit him harder. "So glad you could stop by."
"This isn't a visit for tea and cookies," Knox snarled. "We need to talk."
"So talk. I'm listening."
Knowing Cal, though, he wasn't. He didn't listen to anyone because he didn't think anyone had anything interesting to say other than himself.
"I'm here to talk about Lori Waters."
Cal shrugged, leaning a hip against the back of a chair. "And? Randy told me all about your little investigation. I'm not sure why you need to talk to me about it."
"You were the last person to see Lori Waters alive."
Cal shook his head. "No, I wasn't. I think you're mistaken."
"I'm not making any mistakes. I know that you met Lori at the coffee shop that day. That day. Not another day. One of the baristas remembered the exact date, douchebag, so stop lying your ass off and tell me the goddamn truth. You saw Lori at the coffee shop and whined and moaned trying to get her back. Luckily, she'd finally seen through your act and saw you for the piece of shit that you actually are and dumped your pathetic ass for good."
It was just a ghost of a change, almost a whisper, but Cal's expression fell for a single second. No one else would have noticed it, but Knox had spent most of his formative years learning to read his self-absorbed older brother. Then it was gone and that arrogant smirk was back on Cal's face.
"You think you know everything. If you're so smart, why do you need to talk to me anyway? According to you, I'll just lie about it. Isn't that what you said to Randy? You called me a big liar."
The usual defense from Cal was to complain that he was a victim.
"Because you are a liar. You lie about everything." Knox stepped forward, bearing down on his big brother so they were almost nose to nose. "But today you're finally going to stop being a pathetic waste and tell the truth, even if it's only for a few minutes. And do you know why? Because we're talking about a human fucking life here, Cal. This isn't about making yourself look successful for a woman or telling Mom and Dad that you're the best son. This is about an actual human being who might be dead. So I'm not going to cut you any slack today. Start fucking talking. Tell me about that day and don't try to lie to me because I know when you're lying."
There was a fine sheen of sweat on Cal's upper lip but no other outward sign that he might be concerned or nervous
. He'd been hiding his true self for so long Knox wasn't sure if his brother was even aware of the truth anymore. In a way, he and Brett Hedgcock had much in common. Neither of them was fond of reality.
Cal stepped back, a ruddy tone in his cheeks. "So what if I saw her that day? It doesn't mean I killed her or anything. I saw her. We talked. That's it. End of story."
"That's not the end of the story. You walked with her out of the coffee shop. You two were arguing."
"It doesn't mean I killed her. Jesus, I'm not a murderer, for fuck's sake. I walked her to her car and she drove away. I never saw her again, but she was very much alive that day."
"Then why did you lie?" Knox asked, his tone aggressive. He didn't have the patience for his brother's shit. "Why didn't you just say that?"
"Because I didn't want the hassle," Cal yelled, his expression a twisted grimace. "I didn't want to deal with all the shit that was coming from it. I knew that Lori was alive when I left her so why should I have to deal with it? It wasn't my problem. None of this is my problem."
"Did you even care about Lori at all? Did you? Because if one of my ex-girlfriends disappeared off the face of the earth, I'd do anything I could to help the police find her. All you had to do was tell the truth."
"You're such a Boy Scout," Cal jeered, his lip curled in a sneer. "You just love to lord over us regular mortals how perfect you fucking are. Whatever, brother. I stayed out of it because it wasn't mine to deal with. I didn't hurt Lori."
"Not physically. But you did hurt her. Just like you hurt all your other girlfriends. You were a total asshole to her. She paid for everything and don't fucking deny it because I saw her financials. Christ, you aren't even man enough to pick up a fucking dinner check. All you did was use that poor woman. You're just like Dad."
Cal was instantly in Knox's face, his finger stabbing into his younger brother's chest. "Fuck you. Just fuck you. She wanted to pay for those things. She wanted to buy me things and take me on trips. It made her happy. So I let her."
Deceptive Truth: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 4) Page 16