by Aven Ellis
Another message from Landon drops in while I burn hot:
Can’t wait to see you tonight. I miss you.
My heart is officially a puddle right now. I type back:
I miss you too.
Landon replies:
Spend the night tonight. I need to be with you. Say yes, Livy.
I stare at the screen.
Oh my God.
Landon has asked me to sleep with him.
Tonight.
Chapter 19
TriviaPlayOrPass!
DesignerA, do you wish to play with Scott921?
I stare at Landon’s message, my heart pounding. My throat goes dry. Emotions swirl through me at a rapid rate.
Landon wants to make love to me.
So many things rush through my head. Do I want to? Yes, one hundred percent yes. But I know the second I sleep with him, there’s no going back. Landon will have all of my heart. My feelings are already intense, which is insane because I’ve only been dating him for a week.
But sometimes you just know.
I know the man he is. Landon is funny and smart and sensitive to others. He cares about people. He’s vulnerable because of his past. More importantly, I trust him. Especially after what happened at the guild, when he dealt with my insecurity head on and came back, despite the fact that he was mad.
I’m falling in love with him. And if I sleep with him, and if he walks away afterward, I’ll be crushed.
Yet I know he won’t walk away.
My head is locked in a battle with my heart. My head says wait until I’m totally in love. My heart says grab life and experience it.
My head is terrified of losing myself to him tonight.
Yet my heart wants nothing more.
“Shit,” I curse under my breath. I need help. I dial Aubrey, praying she isn’t in a client meeting and can answer her phone.
“Hello?” she answers.
“I need help,” I say quickly. “Can you talk?”
“Of course,” Aubrey says. “I’m tweeting for Beckett, go ahead,” she says, referring to her work as a social media specialist.
I draw a breath of air. “Landon wants to have sex tonight.”
Aubrey doesn’t say anything.
She obviously thinks it’s too soon.
“Go ahead, tell me to wear Minion panties,” I blurt out. “Tell me I should say no.”
“Hold on,” Aubrey says. “I need privacy.”
I hear movement, like her heels on hardwood, then a door open and shut. “Okay,” Aubrey says. “I’m in a conference room. But it depends,” she says vaguely.
I wrinkle my nose. “On what?”
“Will Landon tear Minion panties off with reckless abandon and make passionate love to you as a result? If so, totally wear Minion panties.”
My face is on fire now.
“Aubrey! No! I mean, shouldn’t I be more careful?” I blurt out.
“Yes. Bring condoms.”
“Gaaaaaaaaaah, would you stop?”
“Livy,” Aubrey says, her voice growing serious, “what are you afraid of?”
I hesitate before answering. “Of getting hurt.”
“Having sex with Landy. How will that hurt you?”
“If I fall in love with him and he walks away,” I say softly.
“Aren’t you already falling in love with him?” Aubrey asks.
I close my eyes. “Yes,” I admit. “But I equate sex with love and if we have sex and then it falls ap—”
“You would be hurt,” Aubrey interrupts. “But you would survive it. Don’t you see? There are no guarantees in life. You can’t say, if I sleep with him on the 234th day of knowing him it will be guaranteed we’ll be together forever. Life isn’t like that. All I know is that I see the way Landy looks at you, and it’s different. You mean something to him. And I say if you want to follow your heart, if you want to share this with him, if you want to make love, then you should.”
I feel my anxiety evaporate with Aubrey’s words. She’s right, I realize. There are no guarantees, no matter what route I take. And I know what I want to do. I’m an adult woman, one who is embarking on a completely new relationship with a man who is different from any other I’ve dated. What Landon has done in the past, as well as what I’ve done, is just that, the past. What we have is now.
And I think Mom will have to wait a little longer for her cup of green tea because I have a detour to make first.
To Victoria’s Secret.
Because I’m going to do everything in my power to make tonight a night like Landon has never had with a woman.
I take a sip of wine in the WAGS lounge as I wait for Landon. I’m swirling with emotions—nervousness, excitement, anticipation—of what is going to happen when we get back to his place tonight. But one thing is for sure.
I know I’ve made the right decision to make love with him this evening.
And the evening is already starting off right, with the Buffaloes coming from behind to beat the Houston Blaze, 3-2. Landon had an assist on a Beckett goal, too, and I was cheering like crazy as they hugged each other in celebration on the ice.
“I’m going to get a water, do you want one?” Aubrey asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“No, I’m good, thanks,” I say, smiling at her.
She nods and heads over to the elaborate buffet set up in the lounge, complete with all kinds of foods and beverages for players’ families and girlfriends to enjoy during the game. There is also a play area for the children, and huge TVs set up to watch the game.
Of course, Aubrey and I prefer to watch it down on the glass and cheer our guys on in the crowd.
Our guys.
I still can’t believe I can say that. That Landon is my guy and even gave me a credential for this lounge tonight and every other night I’m here.
It definitely makes a statement.
Just like the one I will make to him later tonight.
“Well, you finally made it to the lounge,” a voice from behind says.
I don’t even have to turn around to know it’s Kayla.
I face her. She’s stunning as usual, of course, with her glossy dark hair and voluptuous body. Kayla has on a wrap sweater in a silver gray that dips low and enhances her perfect breasts. She’s wearing Miss Sixty jeans that hug her fabulous curvy hips, and once again, a killer pair of designer boots.
A flash of insecurity shoots through me. Landon has slept with dozens of women like her. Perfect breasts and hair and lush curves.
And I’m the girl who showed him Albert Einstein hair and wears an A-cup.
“Shake It Off” plays in my brain.
Yes. This is what I should do. Landon likes me, static hair and A-cup and all. So insecurities can screw right off.
“Yes,” I say, confidence rising in me.
Kayla smiles at me, one of those utterly fake, I-don’t-like-you smiles.
“It’s so sweet for Landy to bring you into our club,” she says quietly.
Ha-ha. Sweet. Like he’s doing me a favor.
“Landon wants me here,” I say, smiling back at her.
“Yes, Landy and I talked about you the other day,” Kayla says easily.
I keep my smile fixed but despite the fact she has Landon hoodwinked with some ‘poor me, help me’ routine he’s fallen for because of his desire to help people who need a shoulder.
“All good things, I hope,” I say easily.
Kayla reaches her manicured fingertips up to her statement necklace and carefully brushes them over the top of the stones, which I can tell are expensive on sight.
“Well, it was a little weird, because he talked more about your family than you,” she says, staring
at me. “He adores your family. Your mom especially. It was almost like he likes you, but loves the idea of having a family. Due to his past, you know.”
My chest tightens. She’s trying to dig at me. Kayla wants me to doubt Landon’s feelings for me are genuine.
Well I’m not giving her that power.
Not now.
Not ever.
And certainly not tonight.
“I’m so glad to hear that,” I say brightly. “It’s so important to me that Landon like my family, so you have only reinforced the idea that he does. Thank you so much for sharing that, Kayla. You’ve made my night. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to catch up with Aubrey.”
Then I walk off.
I find Aubrey talking with Simona Zaugg, the wife of defenseman Matthias Zaugg. Simona, a beautiful Swiss woman with gorgeous curly hair and expressive eyes, smiles warmly at me.
“Hi, Livy,” she says, greeting me. “Our guys had a great game tonight, didn’t they?”
I beam in response. Matthias is paired with Landon on defense.
“They did,” I say proudly.
And as I say the words, I see Landon appear in the doorway of the lounge, looking for me.
My heart races the second I see him. Landon is wearing a luxurious navy suit, tailored to perfection. A crisp, whisper-blue dress shirt is gorgeous against his dark skin. A coordinating navy tie with pale-blue dots complete his outfit.
The second he sees me, his face lights up in a dazzling smile. That gorgeous face that is mine to hold in my hands, to feel his stubble against my fingertips. I know how his longish, jet-black hair is like silk in my hands. I know the scent of him, the rich leather and vanilla that lingers on his skin. The softness of his full lips that are mine to kiss for hours when we are together.
Desire like I have never known surges through me. I want him, all of him, to see what it’s like to make love to him.
My pulse is burning as I move toward him. I want him so much I physically ache inside for him to touch me.
As soon as I near him, Landon reaches out for me. The second his fingers touch my skin, I feel need grip me, a need so strong and powerful it takes me by surprise.
I need him.
I have no doubts having sex tonight is the right choice. Whatever the consequences are afterward, I don’t care. I want this. I want Landon, I want to be filled with him, I want him to make love to me over and over again.
I’m going to make love to you, Landon, I think as I gaze up into his soulful blue eyes. It’s the only thing that matters.
And while I know he can’t guarantee me any kind of a future, I’m grabbing this moment. I’m living in the now.
And I’ll do so by making love to him tonight.
Chapter 20
TriviaPlayOrPass!
True or False: Victoria’s Secret is the largest American retailer of women’s lingerie. DesignerA, play or pass to Scott921?
Landon slides the key into the lock and opens the door to his condo. My heart is pounding furiously against my ribs. Excitement has been washing over me like waves as the elevator ascended to his floor, with the biggest wave yet to come.
This is going to happen. We’re alone now. Landon declined offers for us to join some of his teammates to go out and hit the bars after the game.
Because we are going to make love tonight.
Landon flips on the light and opens the door for me to step inside first. I do, and he follows behind me. I drop my bag and purse onto the entry table. As I begin to unbutton my coat, I feel Landon’s arms move around me, drawing my back into his chest, his lips grazing the side of my neck.
“I missed you,” he breathes against my skin before kissing me again.
Every part of me is on fire from his touch. I melt against him, feeling his mouth deliberately move up my neck, toward my jaw. His stubble scratches against my skin, his delicious scent wraps around me. I slide my hand up backwards, to the nape of his neck, and wind my fingers around his jet-black locks.
“Landon,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
His grip tightens around me, and he nuzzles my neck. “I’ve wanted to touch you the second I had to leave you the other day,” he whispers against my skin. “I miss your skin, your voice, the way you taste,” Landon says, brushing his lips against the side of my neck again. “What are you doing to me, Livy?”
Pure heat surges through me. I turn around in his arms, and Landon slides them underneath my coat, placing his hands on my hips as his mouth brushes against mine.
His lips are warm and soft and so familiar to me now. He explores my mouth with his tongue as his thumb slowly dances back and forth across my hipbone.
Landon’s hands slide up my body, and I burn white hot from his touch. He eases my coat off and deepens the kiss. I slide my hands up through his hair, kissing him back with intensity.
He doesn’t even break the kiss as he rips off his coat, letting it drop to the floor. Then his hands are in my hair, frantically skimming down my back, to my hips, then back up my ribs. As if he has to touch me everywhere and can’t decide where his hands want to be.
His passion matches mine. I caress his chest with my hands, moving down to his waist, tugging on his waistband. The second I touch his belt buckle a gasp escapes his lips.
Oh, I need this.
“Livy,” he groans against my mouth. “We sh—”
I place my fingertips over my mouth to silence him. And as I feel his hot lips against my fingertips, my body rages with want.
“I dressed for you,” I whisper.
Landon’s eyes flash. “What?” he asks against my fingertips.
I draw a breath and step back from him. I reach for the bottom of my ivory wrap sweater and begin to lift it up when Landon reaches forward and quickly puts his hand over mine, stopping me.
“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice sounding shocked.
I freeze. “What do you mean? Undressing for you.”
“What?” Landon gasps, confusion flickering in his eyes. “What do you mean? I thought you wanted to go slowly?”
“You said you wanted me to sleep over,” I say, confused.
But then I see the look of horror on his face the second I say that, and I realize I misunderstood him.
Shit. Shit!
Landon really meant sleep over.
I practically leap back from him in mortification. “Oh,” I mumble, my face now burning hot. “I . . . I . . .”
I turn away from him, engulfed in embarrassment. Landon had no intention of having sex tonight. And here I am, planning this endless night of making love, and he simply wanted to have another intense make-out session, cuddle, and sleep.
“Livy, look at me,” Landon demands, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“This is so humiliating,” I admit. “I misunderstood. I thought you wanted to have sex, and obviously you don’t.”
“Livy, please.”
Finally, I turn around. And I see nothing but concern etched on his gorgeous face. He immediately puts his hands on my face, stroking it gently as he gazes into my eyes.
“I want you,” he says, his voice ragged. “I want you, I have wanted you, I want you more every day. But you matter more to me. What you want matters to me.”
My breath catches in my throat as I realize his needs are the same as mine, but Landon was willing to table them for me.
“I know I said I wanted to take this slowly, but I don’t anymore,” I admit, praying my confession doesn’t overwhelm him. “I want you, Landon. I want this.”
Landon stares at me for a moment before speaking. “You’re not a trivial pursuit to me, Livy. I . . . I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, his voice thick as he continues to caress my face. “I would sooner die than hurt
you.”
My eyes fill with tears. I hear the fear in his voice, I see it in his eyes. I’m different from any other woman who has shared his bed. With me, the rules have changed. It’s not all fun and games anymore.
Landon knows if we have sex there’s no going back.
It’s all in.
And it scares him.
Not just for me, but for him, too.
I see vulnerability in his piercing blue eyes. He’s baring everything to me right now without saying a word.
And I know what I’m going to do.
I remove my sweater, tugging it over my head and letting it drop to the floor. Landon’s eyes follow me as I kick off my heels and undo my belt. I slowly lower my jeans over my hips, and the second I do, a ragged gasp escapes his lips.
Because now I’m equally vulnerable standing before him in my ivory corset bra, panties, garter belt, and stockings.
“I dressed for you,” I repeat again. “I dressed for tonight, Landon.”
His eyes roam over my body, and I see his chest rise and fall quickly in response. My heart is racing. My whole body is fueled with an urgent need to have his hands on me, his mouth seeking mine, to have Landon’s body pressed to me as we become one.
Suddenly he’s on me, his mouth hot and urgent and desperately claiming mine. Landon’s hands move over my breasts, and I shiver violently in response. His fingers frantically move down to my garter belt, and the second he finds the lace edge to panties, a deep groan escapes his throat.
“Christ, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs. “So unbelievably beautiful.”
Oh God. I have never experienced desire like this. Landon breaks the kiss to rip off his suit jacket, and then he quickly undoes his tie. I desperately unbutton his blue dress shirt as we kiss. I slide my hands up over his olive skin, feeling the cut hockey player abs and strong pec muscles, to his powerful shoulders, and I’m shaking as I touch him. Landon removes his shirt, and then his mouth is all over me as he undoes my bra one smooth flick of the hook.