Copper to Red (The Dillwyns' Stories)

by Bladen, Ceri

  It was then that it struck her - it was her that her anger was directed at, not him! She had sworn after Robert that she would never get hurt again, and she had, again! And to top it all, it was with Tom Dillwyn, who held on to the same woman like someone held onto sand – he couldn’t! She sighed deeply, her anger subsiding slightly now she had started to understand some of her strong emotions battling inside her. She had been angry at herself for falling for Tom, someone that she could never trust not to hurt her. She had put all her trust and love into her relationship with Rob, and if she couldn’t trust him, she knew that she couldn’t trust someone like Tom.

  She realised with a start that she also couldn’t do the casual relationship either, so her best option was to stay well clear of him. Let him think she was still angry; it was easier than admitting she loved him!

  An hour later, she turned and beat her pillow with her fist. Crumbs, what a mess. She let the tears flow, as the tension started to flow out of her, as sleep followed.

  Chapter 10

  “Fancy a pint down the Red Lion with me and Dad?” Michael enquired, wondering what the answer would be, but the way Tom had been acting lately, he was expecting a negative in reply. Michael noticed that he hadn’t been to the local for a week now.

  “No thanks, not tonight. I… I um…” Tom was trying to think of an excuse that might sound plausible. He would never admit to anyone that it hurt him to see Willow. Hell, he couldn’t even admit it to himself!

  “Have to wash your hair?” Michael teased.

  “Very funny! “

  “Staying in to watch Coronation Street with Mam?” Michael carried on.

  “Yeh, yeh.” Tom got up from the kitchen table to take his mug to the sink. “No, I’m trying to cut down on my drinking. I’ve been going to the Red Lion too much lately. I’m listening to Mam.”

  “That’s a first!” came the reply from the larder. Meg was in there getting the jams out ready for breakfast tomorrow. After many arguments, Meg had accepted the gift of a fridge from Morgan and Ria, but she still preferred her old fashioned larder. She knew that Ria loved giving them presents, she could certainly afford them now since she had married into the Templeton family, but Meg still had a strong proud streak within her. She and Evan had struggled for money for most of their married life on his miner’s pay packet. But in her opinion, they had never gone without. Megan smiled, she knew Ria was only trying to help them as she loved them and the new carpet upstairs certainly looked lovely. She found the jam she was looking for and re-entered the kitchen. “Tom, I’ve noticed you haven’t been going out lately. Nothing wrong is there love?” A small frown joined the fine lines that had started forming on her forehead. Actually, now she thought of it, she was worried about her oldest boy. Tom had always gone through life with a smile on his face and a joke on his lips. He never seemed to get down about anything. Goodness, it had Tom who had been the solid rock when they had lost Johnny. Meg took an intake of breath to stop the tears that always threatened when she thought of Johnny. Tom had been devastated, like them all, but he had made it all right to laugh again, reminding them all how much Johnny loved laughter.

  When Meg thought about it, she had never been overly worried about her eldest child. Tom got himself into problems at times, the worst being that fiasco when he didn’t tell Ria about Morgan’s phone calls. Everything always seemed to come all right in the end for him. Meg sighed, he was a good boy even then, he hadn’t told Ria about the phone calls as he thought Morgan had hurt her, so he was protecting her, or so he thought. No, something was up with him and being his mother, she would eventually get to the bottom of it!

  ~~~~

  Meg watched the end credits of The Saint. She rose up from the chair to switch off the television, conscious that Tom was still seemly staring into space.

  “Simon Templer was busy tonight wasn’t he? Oh, I do like that Roger Moore, he’s a good actor isn’t he?”

  All she got from Tom was a grunt. Time to try another approach. Trying to look as though you weren’t interfering was hard for a mother sometimes.

  “I’m going to make a pot of tea ready for when your father and Michael come home from the pub.” Meg noticed a little flicker. Was it when she mentioned the pub? Interesting. “Do you want one…?” She sat next to him on the sofa and placed her hand on his knee. She looked at her small hand on his knee, he certainly wasn’t her little boy anymore. “…Now that you are off the beer?” Meg smiled a knowing smile, he smiled back, he knew he couldn’t fool his mother, she knew him too well.

  “Yes please Mam. I’d love one. Where’s Anne tonight? I thought The Saint was her favourite programme.”

  Meg patted his knee and pushed on Tom’s leg, its support helping her up. “She’s gone to the Plaza cinema with her friends. Do you know it’s closing tonight? Shame, your father and I used to go courting there. I do hate it when they close things down, but they call it progress. ”

  ~~~~

  Willow gazed towards the table that Tom usually vacated, his father and brother sat there with a couple of others, but Tom was absent again. She heaved a sigh of frustration; he hadn’t been in for a while now. It was the last thing she wanted to have happened. She felt a faint blush of shame, her actions after they made love still something that she wasn’t proud of, not that she could have done anything different at the time with all her emotions raging. She had plenty of time to think the whole situation over. It was at herself she had angry with, mainly for succumbing to her own urges. She needed a chat with him, but unless he came in, there wasn’t much she could do. Never one to back away from apologising when she needed, she knew that if he didn’t come to the pub, she would go to his house to apologise. Hopefully, they could go back to what they had before the ‘stockroom’ incident.

  Chapter 11

  Willow hesitated, her knuckles wavering as she took a steadying breath and knocked the door. Her stomach lurched and she felt it tighten as she felt nervous. She mentally crossed her fingers, hoping he wouldn’t send her away, tail between her legs, which in reality he had every right to do. Reprimanding herself, she quickly reminded herself that she was here to apologise, not to cause any problems. Anyway, they were adults she reasoned, they could overcome is hurdle and hopefully be friends again, she did miss the banter she had with Tom.

  Willow nearly jumped out of her skin when the door opened quickly, Tom standing there taking up nearly all of the space. Her stomach lurched, she was amazed at the instant reaction her body had to him, she obviously wasn’t as immune to him as she thought, the hope that time would heal fading instantly. This ‘friends’ thing might be tougher than she originally assumed.

  Tom continued wrapping the scarf around his neck while silently looking at Willow standing in front of him. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be standing on the other side of the door as he hadn’t heard a knock. Mind you, that wasn’t surprising as Anne had ‘Stop in the Name of Love’ blaring out on the radio. He smiled ironically at the song, quite apt at this particular moment. He waited patiently for Willow to speak, unsure what to expect as he watched her face quickly turn from one of shock into a cheerful smile. He remained impassive not going to make it too easy on her. Anyway, after his last encounter with her he wasn’t quite sure if that sugar sweet smile contained an angry bite.

  “Hi Tom, sorry are you going out?” Willow quickly enquired, noting his coat. She noticed a fleeting shard of compassion in his green eyes. She took a breath, hope appearing; perhaps they could sort things out.

  “Yes, I’m on my way to Singleton Park for a kick around with the boys.” He watched her face fall slightly. He wanted her to hurt a little, like he had, but it wasn’t in his nature to make anyone suffer. “Do you want to walk with me? It’s on your way home.” He wasn’t mad with her any more, the time apart had seeped that feeling away. It was a shock for Tom to comprehend at first, but he realised that he wanted more than just a ‘roll in the hay’ with Willow. When they had made love, he had wante
d to cuddle her, to wake up with her in the morning. At the time, when she reacted so badly to him, he was hurt and shocked, becoming defensive and angry himself to hide his feelings. Only after, did he understand he really liked Willow and would have liked a relationship with her. That was the reason he had stayed away from the pub, hoping that some distance might have dampened his feelings, feelings that clearly were not reciprocated. Looking at her now, he knew he felt the same, regardless of how she felt about him. He was sad at the situation they found themselves in, uneasy with each other. He wanted the easiness back.

  “Yes, yes of course.” Willow took a breath to calm her nerves, still unsettled at how affected she was when she initially saw him. She hadn’t been expecting such a reaction. Over the time that he stayed away, she had convinced herself that she didn’t really love him, it had just been a bit of a knee jerk reaction after they had made love. Now she wasn’t so sure. She jumped when he placed his arm through hers.

  “Come on, the boys are waiting.”

  ~~~~

  Willow had decided not to go home but to stay to watch the men playing football. She rubbed her cold hands together and then cupped them around her mouth, shouting encouragement towards the football match. Jumping up off the bench, she tried to stamp her cold feet back into life too, the Spring weather still had a nip to it. She noticed Tom score a goal and after ‘high fives’ off his team mates, he turned towards her to give her a toe curling smile, which definitely warmed her blood up.

  After the match finished and everyone drifted away, Willow and Tom made their way to Brynmill Park, chatting comfortably, forgetting the previous awkwardness. They walked around the pond, amused at the ducks searching for the bread which people were throwing to them. They passed the captive birds, Willow sticking her fingers in her ears when the parrots started squawking at them. Arm in arm they walked steadily around the curving path in conversation.

  Suddenly, Willow saw a movement. Screaming, she jumped into Tom’s arms, as she spotted a rat scurrying along the edge of the water. Once the shock of seeing a rat had passed, she was very aware of the stirring feelings that being in Tom’s arms were evoking, her mind automatically transporting her back to their previous encounter, embarrassingly she found her body responding. She pulled away quickly before he noticed, desperate to get away from his warm breath as it tickled her ear. The surge of emotions at being so close to him had alarmed her. Willow brushed her hands down her clothes, anything to stop her from grabbing him, his hands still lightly holding her arms. When she had calmed slightly she looked up into his green eyes and caught the supressed amusement in them, she burst into laughter.

  “It won’t hurt you, look how big you are to it!” Tom stifled a laugh as he held onto her arms gently and nodded to the place where the rat had been. He noticed how quickly she had jumped out of his embrace, but didn’t mention it. It tore through him, he wanted her to choose to be near him, he desperately wanted her, but it needed to be her choice this time. He loosened his hold but he couldn’t quite let her go altogether, he still held her arms.

  “Oh I’m sorry, it scared me!” Hysterics catching her, she couldn’t stop giggling. Her laughter was so contagious that they both ended doubled up, oblivious to the stares they were getting from passing strangers. Once Willow could find the breath to speak again, she spluttered, “Did … you see…the rat’s face? Pure…evil it was!” A fit of giggles erupted again as tears started streaming down her face.

  Tom felt loose and untroubled after laughing with Willow. He watched as a tear of laughter fell out of the corner of Willow’s hazel eyes. He automatically reached out to wipe it away with his thumb as his smile faded on his lips, his heart clenched as his body stiffened, damn he wanted her.

  The heat of Tom’s thumb on her cold face, stopped her laughter dead. Willow could almost physically feel the air change around them. She explored his eyes, swiftly seeing the laughter in them transmute into desire. She felt his hand slowly move to behind her neck and gently pull her towards him. He was giving her time to refuse; she had no desire to stop him. His warm, exploring lips tentatively travelled over hers, while his thumbs circled under her ear lobes as the rest of his warm hands clasped the back of her head. Blood started pumping through her body, pounding in her ears. Every instinct to stop the kiss was effectively being quashed by her body’s responses to him. She sighed into the kiss, losing all thoughts.

  The squeal and quick footsteps of a young child brought them out of their own world. Tom quickly swivelled his head towards the noise, while he moved his arms down around Willow’s waist. The toddler stopped short in surprise. A grin split Tom’s face when he turned back around towards Willow. “I think we have been busted.” He expressed amusement at the toddler’s wide eyed look.

  Willow looked over Tom’s shoulder at the toddler’s approaching mother and tried to take a step back. Tom tightened his grip and shook his head. “Oh no you don’t. It has taken me a long time to get you back into my arms and no little child is going to spoil our pleasure.” He placed a kiss on the tip of her nose, but Willow was still tense, the arrival of more people making her unsettled to be in his arms. He released his embrace fractionally and sighed. “Okay, perhaps this isn’t the best place for us, especially for what is running through my mind…”

  Willow gave Tom a pretend slap while she laughed, enjoying the ripples of anticipation running through her.

  “…but…. I really want to have a chat with you, about us.” His bright green eyes looked directly at her, searching for her reactions. “After the pub closes tonight, when there are no interruptions, we will to sit down and have a heart-to-heart, find out what is going on between us.” He regarded her closely. “Because, believe me, I would really like there to be something between us Willow.” He tenderly gave her a light kiss on her lips.

  Willow was glad he was still holding her, her legs felt like too weak to support her. What a roller coaster of emotions she had experienced in the last couple of hours. The nervousness of not knowing his reaction to her, the bolt of attraction she felt when he opened the door, the laughter, the searing kiss that they had shared that made her forget that they were in the park, the innocent look of shock from the child had made her feel embarrassed, it wasn’t acceptable for a divorced woman to be found kissing someone in the park, especially a kiss like that one. She exhaled contentedly, Tom had managed to make her feel better, she knew she wanted him in her life, whatever form he wanted that to take.

  “Come on,” he grabbed her hand, “Let me walk you home before I go to work, then I will see you tonight.”

  ~~~~

  Willow nearly dropped another glass, just catching it in time. Her nerves were jittery, made even worse by Tom’s killer smile which he kept flashing at her from across the pub. Her body was buzzing with anticipation. She knew her parents’ were wondering what on earth was going on, they kept sending looks at each other, raising their eyebrows when they thought she wasn’t looking.

  Tom relaxed back into the bench, unaware of the hardness of the wood, he was too content to notice. He glanced over at Willow again. She looked beautiful tonight, a rosy glow seemed permanently on her face, perhaps it was the wind this morning, but Tom liked to think it was because of him. He had caught her looking over at him a number of times and each time he gave her a knowing smile, she looked away bashfully. She certainly had his blood pounding. Time seemed to be going too slowly, he was definitely counting the minutes down until their talk. He felt the sudden rushing of his heart, perhaps there wouldn’t be too much talking, he couldn’t remember a time that he had wanted someone so badly. He shock his unreasonable thoughts out of his head, a talk to straighten things out was all that was going to happen tonight with her parents around. He could look forward to the rest that he wanted to follow in the future. His feelings for her had crept up on him, but they certainly had a foot hold now, he knew he wanted her in his life. Once he had slept with her, his interest in her had increased, not decreased. He
r angry reaction to their lovemaking had mystified him, but he had a feeling, after the kiss in the park, they were going to be able to work it out. He wanted to work it out, he felt the physical ache and enjoyed it. John brought him back into the conversation with a nudge.

  Willow looked at the clock, only an hour to go. She was eager to have the chat with Tom. All afternoon she had been going over all different scenarios, all ending up with her in his arms; she felt herself blush at the thought, catching his knowing look made her colour even further. It had been such a long time since she had felt this kind of anticipation; it was making working normally quite difficult. She felt the tingle radiate down her spine and she knew before turning that Tom was at the bar. “I’ll serve Tom, Dad.” She noticed her father raise his eyebrows at her mother again. “What can I get you?” Willow hoped her voice wasn’t giving away any of her feelings.

  A smile played at the corners of Tom’s mouth as he leaned closer over the bar and whispered so only Willow could hear, “I think I would be thrown out by your Dad if I said what I would like you to get me.”

  She giggled as she straightened quickly back up, taking a quick peek to see if her mother or father had heard. “Mild or draught?” she smiled sweetly at him, the laughter making her eyes sparkle.

  He pretended to look dejected, “Okay, make that five milds and two draughts then please.” Tom dug for the money out of his pocket. “You still all right for a chat tonight?”

  “Yes.” Willow continued to pull the pints, placing them in a line on the counter. “It is my night to lock up as Dad does the accounts, with Mam’s help. Just stay behind after the others have left.” She looked towards his friends. “Unless they will think it’s strange that you’re not leaving.”

  Tom looked towards his table. “Not really. Michael and my Dad aren’t here tonight; they are working down the mines, so no one will notice.” He picked up two pints to take over while Willow poured the rest. He stopped and turned back around, “Willow?” She looked up. “I am really looking forward to our chat tonight.”