by Bladen, Ceri
“Oh dear, poor Sarah.” Meg couldn’t help sympathise with the situation Sarah had found herself in. She had liked Sarah and had hoped her and Tom would eventually marry when they were courting, but they had split up, she had never asked why.
Anne watched on wide-eyed while Morgan absent-mindedly rubbed his wife’s shoulder, hoping that his little Rose would never find herself in the same situation.
“Yes well, she panicked. She knew she didn’t want to terminate her pregnancy and she appreciated that her parents would be disappointed and angry. So, because we had courted steadily for a while, I was the obvious choice.” Tom leaned back for the chair’s support, suddenly glad it was out in the open.
Meg stood up, taking the tea pot with her as she needed something to do. “Well, at least she told you the truth in the end. It mustn’t have been easy for her to admit. Especially with everyone waiting in the church.”
“Much easier to live a lie and ruin Tom’s life.” Ria mumbled under her breath.
Megan smiled at Ria, quite proud at her daughter’s family loyalty. “Now, now Victoria. She shouldn’t have lied, but she was afraid, and she hasn’t ruined Tom’s life, she has told him the truth. I don’t want this family being too hard on her.” She looked at each of them. “Poor Sarah will have to deal with all the gossips, which will not be a nice thing to endure. We need to keep this as quiet as we can, I’m sure her family will feel the same. Sam?” Sam cringed when he heard his mother call his name. “…Anne? It is to go no further than this house that Fred is the father, is that clear?” Sam turned red, as Anne rolled her eyes.
“But why did she wait until we were all in the church? And why did she want a church wedding? Most pregnant bride-to-be do it quickly and quietly!” Ria’s feathers were ruffled again by the situation.
“She couldn’t really answer that question,” responded Tom. “All she said was she thought that if she had a church wedding, she would convince herself that the baby was mine.” He shrugged his shoulders, not really understanding the logic. Tom sighed deeply, his forehead furrowing in concern. The last thing he wanted was for Sarah to be hurt, she was a lovely woman, but he knew her life would be hell. He growled, how he hated gossips, did they ever think of the damage they could cause with their loose tongues and impossible standards?
After his chat with Sarah, he had still offered to marry her. He didn’t want to tell his family that piece of information, Ria was protective enough without her thinking Sarah voluntarily rejected his hand in marriage. But she had refused, so here he was, sitting at the family table, feeling numb.
~~~~
“That’s it!” Shirley threw down the cloth she was holding. She quickly scanned the pub, “David, hold the fort for a bit please. Janet, in the back now.”
Willow finished putting away the salted peanuts. She glanced at her mother, who had a determined look on her face. Willow sighed, she knew that look. It usually meant that her mother was in no mood for messing around. Looks like the beans were about to be spilt.
When they were both in the room, door closed from interruptions, Shirley offered Willow some of the ginger ale she was drinking and looked directly at her daughter. “So Janet… would you like to tell me what is going on?”
Willow took the drink off her mother, mainly to wet her dry throat. There was no getting out of this conversation and she didn’t really feel comfortable putting it all onto the table, but she did not really have a choice once her mother had a bee in her bonnet.
Shirley saw pain flick over her daughter’s face, the last thing she wanted was to cause Janet any more pain, just one look on her face was enough. “Darling…” she grabbed Willow’s hand, “…you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to; you are an adult after all. But your Dad and I are here to help you, we hate seeing you so upset.” She saw the tears welling in Willow’s eyes. “Is it Robert again?”
“No!” Willow denied sharply, and then tempered her voice at her mother’s flinch. “Sorry, no it has nothing to do with Robert,” she stated calmly. “It was me this time. I decided it wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t really trust him ever again and I didn’t want that for the rest of my life.” She rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “All of a sudden I realised I certainly didn’t want a family with someone that I would always wonder if he was going to leave me… leave me alone with a baby.” She took another sip of ginger ale, suddenly wishing it was something stronger to calm her nerves. She observed her mother, “Which brings me to Tom Dillwyn.”
Her mother’s forehead creased with confusion, “Tom Dillwyn?”
“Yes Mam, Tom Dillwyn. I am in love with him.”
Confusion showed all over Shirley’s face. “But he is getting married to Sarah Davies. He got her pregnant too, by all accounts…” Her fingers started tapping the table, realisation hitting her. “Wait a minute… wasn’t Tom the one that helped you out when Fred broke his leg?”
“Yes.”
“I think you have some explaining to do. Sit down Janet.” Shirley pointed towards the chair.
~~~~
Tom shook the rain off his soaked coat. It always seemed to be raining lately, but Tom hardly noticed the depressing rain, nothing could make his mood any more dismal. His father and brother had finally persuaded him to break his self-inflicted hibernation and come down to the Red Lion.
His family all thought it was only to do with the wedding being called off. It was partly, so he didn’t say anything to change their opinions. He was devastated that the baby wasn’t his. At first, thinking that he was to become a father had frightened him, all that responsibility, he only had to look at his friend, John and his sister, Ria, to see how much their lives had changed. After the idea had settled, he realised that he wanted to become a Dad, he wanted what his friend and sister seemed to get so much happiness from. So, part of his sadness was to do with the loss of the family he was anticipating. Most of his unhappiness, however, was entangled with Willow. He hadn’t seen her since the wedding fiasco and didn’t think he should. Rightly or wrongly, he had chosen Sarah and the baby over her. In the end, the decision was his, his alone and he had to learn to deal with the consequences. Tom knew it would be totally unreasonable to expect Willow to welcome him with open arms and it killed him knowing that, as he still wanted her so badly. That was why he had stayed out of her way, curtailing any situation that would have him coming face-to-face with her. It wounded him to know that he destroyed what they could have had together, realising that they could never go back, and that had been excruciatingly painful to deal with. He took a steadying breath before he entered the bar, fully aware that he would have to face Willow, he just hoped he could manage it.
Willow faltered when she saw Tom enter behind his father and brother. She cursed silently, he still affected her like no one else had. She looked towards her mother, who was watching her intently and silently mouthed I’m okay. She made herself look back towards the bar area, determined to look as normal as possible. She had, after all, been practising how she would react when she saw Tom, for a couple of weeks.
Irritation swept through her when she suddenly noticed an increase of noise and looks towards Tom. No doubt all the gossips judging a situation they knew nothing about. Protectiveness surged through her, quickly followed by helplessness. She wouldn’t be the one to stand next to him through life’s ups and downs and like it or not, she wasn’t going to be the one to defend him. He had made his feelings completely obvious when he hadn’t come to see her or even try to get to see her in the weeks following the wedding fiasco. Willow, like most of the locals, had only got snippets about what had occurred. Tom and Sarah’s families certainly had closed ranks, not admitting or denying anything. No one was really any the wiser to why Sarah didn’t turn up to the church, or why they were not now married. Of course, the gossips were watching Sarah’s belly to see if she was really pregnant or not. Willow gave a heavy sigh, the fact that Tom hadn’t come to her to explain what had happened, ju
st showed that she was indeed, just another ‘notch’ on his bedpost.
As she looked towards Tom, her heartbeat quickened. Quickly squashing the feeling she realised that more time was needed for the healing of her heart to take place. The only thing Willow was sure about was that she would encase her heart with stronger defences, so it didn’t get battered ever again. She plastered a smile on her face, which didn’t reach her eyes. “Evan, Michael, Tom,” she nodded to each of them in turn. “What can I get you this evening?”
Chapter 15
“Come on boys, I need your money now to put behind the bar ready for the lock in. You know we have to put it behind the bar before closing.” Jack stood up, starting to lose patience, waiting for his friends to dig into their pockets.
“Is there a lock in tonight? I noticed Mr and Mrs Dawkins aren’t here.” One of the regulars on the next table enquired.
“Yes, Willow just gave the go ahead.”
One of the boys, Will, looked around the crowded bar and took a quick sip of his pint. He leaned forward and muttered under his breath as he cast a glance around the room. “It sure is busy tonight. It will be nice when it’s just us locals, not all these football supporters.”
Tom picked his own up drink and drew off a long swallow before answering, “Yes well, I’m sure the pub is glad of the extra money the away supporters bring in.” He still felt a little uneasy with all the unfamiliar faces, despite his reply to the contrary.
“You would have thought most of them would have gone home by now.” Will glared at the intruders; change and unfamiliar faces didn’t sit well with him. “Have you heard about that new law the Government is bringing in next year?” He rapidly changed the conversation and asked his friends.
“No, what’s that?” Tom was mildly interested, what Harold Wilson and the Government chose to do, or not, didn’t affect him too much.
“It’s a new drink-drive limit. The Government said that there will be a set limit for the amount of blood alcohol you can have in your system. It is supposed to deter drinkers from driving when drinking so the roads are safer.”
“Well that doesn’t affect me as I don’t own a car!” laughed Dai.
“How are they going to tell? Make you walk down that pretend line?” Jack enquired, still standing waiting for the money.
“I always walk a straight line home, even when I’m seven sheets to the wind!” laughed Will. “The funny things is, the Government spokesman said on the news, that they don’t know what the blood alcohol limit will be or how it will be tested!”
A laugh went around the table. Pints were raised in mocking salutes. “Ah well, a couple more before we hit the road then lads!” All of them openly mocking the new Government rule.
As they were laughing the door opened and big crowd of football supporters came in. The change in the atmosphere was pliable. The laughter quietened down and turned slightly tense.
“Right I’m off home before any trouble starts.” Michael rose slowly from his stool. “Are you coming Tom, Dad?”
Evan got up to leave, “Ay, too old for any trouble.” He stated with a smile on his face, well aware that he was fitter than most people.
Tom sidled a look towards the bar, Willow busy serving as usual. If there was any hint of trouble, he wanted to be around. He wasn’t a fighter by nature, but he certainly wasn’t going to take any chances with her. “Nah, I’ll wait around for a while.”
Michael followed his brother’s gaze towards Willow, suddenly understanding why Tom was staying put. “Do you want us to hang around?”
Evan looked between his two boys, a frown marring his forehead. There was something more to their conversation than just the football supporters. He shrugged, his boys would tell him what is wrong if he needed to know.
“No, it’s fine. There shouldn’t be any trouble. Anyway there are enough locals around if there is.” Tom replied.
~~~~
Willow was exhausted. The employee, Sandra, she had got in to help her was good at her job, but all the responsibility still lay on Willow’s shoulders when her parents were away. She would be glad when they came home this time. Usually she enjoyed running the Red Lion on her own, but after the emotional battering of the last couple of months she felt emotionally drained. Her mind reminded her of the last time they had gone away, she shook her head hoping to shake away her thoughts. Would she ever get Tom out of her mind? She rolled her shoulders to ease the growing tension and fatigue. It had been a busy night, with all the away football supporters in buying drinks. At some points, she didn’t think that they would be able to serve them all, the queue looked so big. She let out a weary sigh, rubbing the back of her hand over her forehead, glad she had the foresight to cancel the planned lock in. There had been the predicted grumbles, but feeling so dog-tired she really didn’t care too much. Only a couple of stragglers from the football were left finishing their pints, most of the locals had gone home. Willow knew Tom was still hanging around, as to why; she was too tired to think about it.
“Sandra? You can finish up now if you like. Don’t worry about the last couple of glasses, I’ll collect those when I close up.” Willow spoke to Sandra who was now mopping behind the bar. Poor Sandra hadn’t had a minute to herself either, her face split into a grin, then an unsure expression replaced it.
“Great, are you sure?” When Willow nodded she explained her reason for accepting the offer of going earlier, even when she knew Willow looked tied also. “My youngest, James, came down with a bug today. My husband is looking after him, but I would still like to get off slightly earlier, if that is alright with you? I don’t really like leaving you in the lurch.”
“Of course. You should have said something sooner about James.”
“I didn’t want to leave you alone with all those customers!” Sandra gave a tired laugh. “Crumbs, there were loads of them!”
“Yes, I cannot wait to crawl into my bed.” Just the thought of her soft bed made Willow want to chuck the remaining drinkers out. “Drink up please.” She ignored the grumbles and objections.
“See you tomorrow then?” Sandra enquired while buttoning up her coat and walking to the doors.
“Yes, great.” Willow replied as she picked up her bucket and cloth ready to wipe down the tables a final time. The door closed behind Sandra. “Time gentlemen.”
She looked around and noticed Tom had disappeared. Her stomach dropped with disappointment. He must have slipped out quietly when she was talking to Sandra. She walked up to an empty table and picked up an ashtray to clean, her actions automatic after repeating it so many times, she brushed the ash into the bucket. She wasn’t pleased that Tom had gone without saying anything to her as she was secretly hoping he might stay behind to chat to her. She would be silly to say that her hopes weren’t raised and her heart gave a jolt against her ribs, when she noticed both Tom’s Dad and brother leave and he stayed sitting at the table. She leaned over to wipe the table, unaware of nudging and stares going on behind her. But what could he say to her? Would he want to explain to her what happened? Would he tell her that he wanted her, not Sarah? Willow exhaled in frustration, knowing in her heart, if Sarah hadn’t been the one to call the wedding off, Tom would be married by now. Her heart clenched in anguish.
She moved onto the next table, now vaguely aware of the raising whispers behind her, she turned towards the noise and saw some of the football supporters staring at her. “Come on, I’ve called time lads.” Suddenly she felt uneasy, a shiver running down her spine. She looked around. None of the locals were around. Suddenly, fear started to grow. Willow wouldn’t allow it to show, her father had sent her to enough self-defence lessons to know that ‘the lion always picks off the weakest’. “Leave your glasses on the table and move on out please.” She pointed towards the door and heaved a sigh of relief when she noticed them place their glasses on the tables and start towards the door.
She stayed upright until the final man left and the door swung behind him, exhaus
tion and relief made her body collapse onto one of the wooden benches. She put her head into her hands while she gathered her strength and her scattered wits. That was so silly she gave herself a pep talk. Her parents would be furious with her allowing that situation to happen. Acknowledging that if she wasn’t so drained, it never would have happened, she rubbed her hands over her face and took out her braid to help elevate some of the tension growing in her skull. She slowly rose from the seat, knowing that the doors needed to be locked.
“Well, well. Alone at last.”
Willow froze at the sound of the low male voice behind her. She could hear the footsteps coming nearer and she whirled around, glad only to see one male standing in front of her.
“And look here, you have let all your lovely blonde, curly hair down ready for me.”
Willow watched a sickly smile appearing on his alcohol rosy face, as his hand reaching up to feel her hair. She deflected his hand away swiftly with her arm, silently praising her father for those childhood lessons. She ignored the look of irritation that swept across his clammy face.
“Now that wasn’t very nice of you, was it?” He stressed his words through gritted teeth. “Perhaps a little kiss would help me know you are sorry?” He raised an eyebrow, sweat gathering in beads on his forehead.
Willow’s blood and adrenaline was pumping through her body, but she was icy cold. “We don’t want any trouble, you should just leave now.”
She watched as his eyes quickly scanned the room, “We? We?” He licked his lips. “The only we love, is you and me. There were enough moans from your locals about the cancelled lock in for me to know your parents are away. And it was just my luck that you sent your ‘help’ home early. Fate… that is what I call it.” He sniggered, the smell of his cigarette breath hitting her.
Willow’s stomach lurched as she swallowed a gulp of air. Her mind was on overdrive, but her body moved slowly, trying to move away without him being aware. While retreating, her leg knocked over a stool, which crashed to the floor with a loud clatter. Her head turned towards the noise as the man lunged, knocking her to the floor. Her breath knocked out of her lungs with his weight as pain vibrated through her skull as it hit the hard flooring. Her eyesight became blurry with the pain reverberating through her whole body. She tried to remember her self-defence lessons through the haze. Nose, his nose, his weakest point.