I have English before lunch today, and Jason is in that class with me. I wonder what he will think; I can’t wait to see his reaction! I hope it’s a good one.
Once the bell rang for class to start, I made my way over to my usual seat, which is a few rows by him and I sat in such a way that I could see him once he walked in. If he notices I want to see his reaction. I am hoping for more bee-stung lips!
Finally he walked in with one of the other guys from the baseball team, Nick I think? Nick Seagars, I believe his name is… I’m not sure. But here he is, Jason Grimes, standing in the doorway staring at me, staring right back at him. And there it is, what the whole purpose of this science experiment, the golden fruits of my labor…. There is a smile on his lips!
Quickly I blushed and looked away. My boldness has faded off and now, here I am all made up wanting this boy to notice me and I can’t look him in the eye anymore.
“Mind if I sit here today?” a voice speaks up.
“Sure, that’s fine.” Oh my gosh he wants to sit next to me. What do I do? What on earth do I do?
“You look great, Georgia.” Jason croons, while looking dead at me.
Stunned like a deer in headlights, I can only just look down at my books and blush.
“Thank you, Jason.” I whispered so soft, I am not even sure if he heard me.
“Do you have plans for lunch today? Would you want to go grab a bite with me?”
Oh my gosh, did he just say that? Did this seriously just happen? I think I just flatlined. I can’t seem to move past this strange social phenomenon to answer his question.
“Georgia, I feel obligated to tell you that your lack of a response will result in me assuming that you do not have plans and I will be taking you to lunch.” Jason whispers in my ear. “And might I add, you smell quite lovely.” Oh goodness, this guy is smooth. I couldn’t put up a fight even if I wanted to.
“Thank you” is all I could force myself to say. During the whole class, I kept feeling him staring at me, and I couldn’t help at first feel insanely awkward, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt so insecure, bashful and shy.
Once the bell rang, I didn’t even have time to stand before he grabbed my bag and pulled me to my feet. The whole class stopped and stared, and I honestly think I could cry.
This attention is much too much, my stomach is in knots and frankly I think I could lose the lunch that I haven’t even eaten yet. I’m a bundle of nerves, just responding by instinct rather than logic. What is a girl to do? My knees are knocking hard and I can’t even fathom the shade of crimson that I’m sure is prominent in my cheek bones.
Reluctantly I stand next to Jason, and he pulls me gently into the hall and we made our way slowly to the parking lot, heading to his truck. All the eyes are just focused on me, and I am sure that they are equally as confused as I am. Some made the stereotypical hoots and hollering noises that would be expected of my adolescent peers, this however only empowered my insecurities even more.
Once we got to his truck, Jason opened the door for me.
“Here you go, beautiful.” He offers while holding out a hand to help me up.
“Thanks.” I whisper and somehow clamber into the cab of the truck.
Once we got into the truck, he blasts the radio and takes off furiously. I hold onto the handle for dear life. I don’t know what made my heart beat harder, being in close personal proximity to Jason, his driving or the crazy amount of attention I got today. I think I am going to have an anxiety attack.
“You ok, sweetie?” Jason asks.
“Just not used to the attention, or my chauffeur driving like a maniac.” Admitting this, did wonders for my anxiety. Whew!
“OK, I can slow down. I’m sorry.” Jason apologized to me, and grabbed my hand. Having his hand in mine, made me smile and calmed me down instantly; this in my book is nothing short of remarkable. He did slow down, thankfully.
Once we pulled into the White Swann Bar-B-Que, he undid his seatbelt swiftly and pulled me practically on top of him. His hands were buried deep in my hair, and his lips were playing on top of mine. His body was hot against mine, and nestled in some deep, heeded need. His lips found my throat and tickled me with his teeth and breathe. Playfully he tugged on my earring. He crushed himself against me, like he was clinging onto some adolescent security blanket, which triggered some subconscious response from me; because the next thing I knew I was kissing him back. My hands held a firm grasps on his shirt, and my lips were pushing back with as much need as his. I’m getting lost in his biblical transgression, and once I noticed that I freaked out.
“We have to stop. I’m not that type of girl.” I beg
“What?” He protests. “I’m not trying to bed you down here, it’s just a kiss.”
“To who, Jason?”
“To me, and hopefully to you. I promise I’m not trying to make you do anything you don’t want to. I like you, and I’m not trying to jeopardize that.”
“Really? So this isn’t some type of prelude to seduction?”
“No, Georgia! I’m just trying to get to know you, and I like you, and I just want to kiss you. That is it, end of story! Stop trying to make me feel like I’m putting your virtue into jeopardy.” Jason scoffs at me. Oh goodness, I didn’t take his feelings into account. Now I feel like the bad guy. How come everything is so complicated?
Sulking back onto my side of the truck, I hang my head in shame.
“Georgia? What’s wrong?” Jason pries, coaxing me back onto his side of the cab.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings and my assumptions were quite rude of me. I apologize. I honestly was just trying to protect myself and I didn’t take your feelings into consideration and I feel just awful.” I spit out,in an honest ramble.
“That’s OK. I can understand that. A lot of people have some type of preconceived notion about me; it happens. You know… you could kiss me to make it up to me.” He laughs. I like it when Jason laughs.
“If I kiss you, do you promise that you will feed me? All this physicality works up an appetite on a girl, you know.” I’m honestly famished. I hope he takes the hint.
“Agreed, now get over here.” Jason wastes no time, and scoops me up in a passionate embrace. This feels much better knowing that this is as much as it gets. I can handle this. My chastity is important to me, and something I will only give to my future husband, whoever he may be.
After about 5 minutes, he finally comes up for air and quickly I scoot over and jump out the truck.
“You promised!” I call after him and made a dash inside for Swann. I honestly didn’t know if he was going to follow suit or not, but he did. He jumped right on out and followed me. As we stood in line to order, he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face deep in my hair and neck. It was almost like we were “together” together, you know? I have butterflies in my stomach, and as the girl took our orders he quickly stepped in front of me and bought us lunch. I know Shane has bought lunch for us before, but there’s a different context to this. I think this almost borders on the line of a date, but I’m not exactly sure how this social convention works.
Once our orders of Carolina Barbecue, slaw and macaroni and cheese was ready, we grabbed two cups of sweet tea and I took a seat, fully expecting him to sit across from me, and instead he sits right next to me, with his arm over my shoulders. Smooth, Jason Grimes, well played.
“I don’t feel like going back to school. I want to spend the day with you.” Jason says between mouthfuls.
“Really? Won’t we get in trouble?” I panic.
“What could possibly happen? You’re a straight A student who has never had an issue in her life. Besides, it’s our senior year and we only have a few weeks left, we will be fine.” Jason shrugs my concern off. However, he does have a point. I haven’t ever ditched before, and maybe it’s something I should try once.
“OK. Let’s do it! Where are we going next?”
“I don’t know, what are you into?”
He asks as he pulls me closer to his chest.
“I know just the place! Let’s go to JDawgs!” JDawgs is my favorite little music shop in Benson. It has guitars that you can play for hours without being bothered. They do events, lessons and all sorts of things! It’s my little heaven on earth.
Once we get into the truck, he turns the radio on and an interesting song caught my ear.
“Who is this?” I ask.
“Will Dailey. He’s from Massachusetts. My friend turned me onto him. I like him, I saw him once in Charlotte .”
“What song is this?” I asked. I’m really digging this sound.
“Out on the floor; give me your IPod and I’ll hook you up.” He offers, and just like that we’re on our way.
“Thanks!”
Our ride into town was comfortable, the windows down, Jason’s music blaring those wonderful songs that he is introducing me to. My head resting against his chest, his arm casually draped over my shoulders, the wind blowing the delicious smell of blooming plants and flowers dancing in the air into the cab of the truck.
Once we got to JDawgs, I ran inside and found a sweet little Gibson and started playing ‘Jesus take the wheel’ and Jason just stood there looking at me, which at first made me very uncomfortable but then I realized that he was standing there in appreciation.
“You can really sing. Like, really sing.” He says with his eyes wide open.
“Thank you.” I blush.
“Come here.” He says, pulling the guitar from my hands and bringing me into his arms. His face nestled against mine, kissing me again as we swayed from side to side in our own, special little dance.
“It’s too pretty outside to stay cooped up in a music store. However, I do want to hear you sing again. I have some place I want to take you to.” Jason says, while stroking my back and brushing my hair out of my face.
“OK.” I can’t argue with him. It is a beautiful day.
After about a 45 minute drive, we find ourselves in the heart of Smithfield, right at the Neuse River.
“There’s a walking trail here, of course some cyclist like to ride their bikes here, but it’s quiet and beautiful. “
“I see. Is that a theater?” I say pointing to an old fashioned log cabin. I spit out so fast, I am unsure if it was coming out of my mouth clear enough to understand.
“Yes. It used to be a Boy Scout house, but it’s now the Neuse Little Theater.” Jason shrugs off as if it is no big deal. Obviously this stuff doesn’t excite him.
We walked for miles, crossing small wooden bridges, stealing kisses under the trees right by the Neuse River, talking about everything from music to plans after high school. I learned a lot about Jason Grimes. He is a diehard Red Sox fan, he likes pizza and Pepsi, Reese’s peanut butter cups are his favorite candy, and he has a dog named Spartacus. It was nice to hear about someone else’s’ story for once instead of having to rehash mine. Thankfully he didn’t ask much about me. Just the trivial parts and for what it’s worth, I’m sure he had his assumptions about what has happened, and maybe on some sick level that’s what he likes about me, I have no clue.
“What’s your favorite song to sing?” Jason asked me, and I had to give this careful consideration.
“You know the movie ‘A Walk to Remember?’ With Mandy Moore?” I asked.
“Sounds like a chick flick.” He laughs. “Not really, no.”
“OK well, there is a song in there called ‘Only Hope’ and I like to sing that song a lot.” I closed my eyes and smiled, hoping that he’d hold me. Somehow I love the affectionate touch, which is very different for me and it makes me feel almost needy and hungry for loving caresses. Today couldn’t be much better. It’s so relaxing and nice to know a new side of myself and get to know anything about Jason.
As we made our way back to the truck I decided I would sing ‘Only Hope’ for him. While we were walking, I seemed to have captured a small audience, and it was just a lovely feeling. A song about God, an audience and the most handsome boy I have ever laid eyes on in one single moment. These moments never happened to broken people like me, but here I am surrounded by smiles and mild adoration; and for the first time I feel free, and naturally happy. I just forgot who I am, and for this moment I am someone else, and this is a nice feeling. If I don’t take anything else from today, I’ll just take this memory.
“That’s just great Georgia. I mean, wow.” Jason smiles.
The rest of the people walking by just clapped and smiled. I got a few other words of encouragement and it made my heart grow a little bigger.
Once we got back into the truck, Jason looked at me and smiled. “I want ice cream.” Is what he said, of all things. “I know just the place.”
We started heading towards Benson, which from Smithfield is about 30 minutes or so and we have to drive through Four Oaks. We pulled into a gas station that has a small store called Ronnies General Store; most people would think it’s just your average gas station, which in some places may just be, but this place also sells produce that is locally grown. We hopped down, and made our way to the brick building and once we got in, everyone seemed to know Jason.
“How’s yo’ daddy, boy” The clerk asked Jason.
“He’s fine, sir. Thank you for askin’.” Jason responds, making his way to the dairy counter.
“What will it be, youngin’?” The nameless clerk asks again, picking up the worn ice cream scoop.
“Pecan for me, and whatever the lady likes.” Jason says, stepping aside and letting me in.
“Hi, mint chocolate chip please.” I offer in my sweetest, southern voice I could muster up.
“Yes ma’am,” the clerk nods, and gets straight to work, coming up with two small cups of the finest custard in town. From what I understand this is made from one of the local farms in the area. We sat in the cab of the truck, finishing up our cold ice cream, when suddenly a storm starts to roll in. Once you start getting hot in the day down south, the storms start rolling in almost every day. The summer is always our strongest rain season, and it’s bittersweet really, because the cool rain is welcoming after a hot humid day, but the onslaught of the storm is what brings this doggone humidity in the first place. Also, it wreaks havoc on my already impossible curly hair. The thunder shook the cab, and I must have jumped about 2 feet high in my seat. Without warning the rain starting assaulting the windshield like little water pellets. It came down in sheets and the only thing we could do is wait it out, so we snuggled up in the cab and he turned the radio on, with my head in his lap I sang my heart out, and of course we kissed. He just bent over, and caressed my face and lightly kept kissing me, slowly and gently. Of course I didn’t put up a resistance but rather enjoyed myself. I wrapped my hand around the back of his head and kept him close to me, finding my own limits and encouraging the affection that I haven’t had before. The heat, the need, and the desire all pooling inside of me, but it’s tangled with insecurities, confusion, and brokenness. Being a 17 year old girl is never easy, and this angst thing has gotten me hard. I don’t know how to balance my faith and first love, or how to understand my present life and situations with my past; and all of this is happening much too fast. Either way, I’m pushing past all that, moving it to the back of my mind right now, because I’m sitting here in Jason Grimes’ truck and I am kissing him and he is kissing me.
“I’ve really enjoyed spending the day with you, Georgia.” He whispers in my ear.
“I’ve enjoyed myself, too. Ice cream kisses and all.”
“We should do this again, maybe an official date.” He breathes into my ear, playing with my untamable blonde curls.
“This wasn’t a date?” I asked, honestly kind of confused.
“Well, I guess it was, wasn’t it?” Jason laughs.
“I thought so, but it’s also not like I’m going to turn down another date. However, I do need to go back and get my car and head home. Take me back to school?”
“Yes ma’am.”
The rain slowe
d enough that we were able to make it back to the school in good time and all in one piece. I got one last kiss and clambered into Elsie and started making my way back home. On the way back, my cell phone went off and I didn’t realize I had a bunch of missed calls and texts from Jenn and Shane. I’m sure I have a bunch of explaining to do to the both of them. We do have the next two days off from school; however I don’t want people to worry about me since I didn’t give anyone an idea of where I was or when I would be home. With the roads slick I didn’t want to text or call anyone, so I figured I will own up to it once I get home. I mean, I’m back in time for dinner so it shouldn’t be a big deal.
Pulling into the drive, the rain started to come down hard again. I ran quickly into the house and in the kitchen was Jenn.
“Where have you been?” Jenn stops me, and puts her hands on her hips.
“Out enjoying the day.” I smile back at her.
“I was worried about you.” She pouts and still gives me some type of super human death stare.
“I was fine; in fact I was more than fine. I had the best day I have had in a long, long time.”
“Oh? What happened?”
“Jason Grimes happened.” I look her dead in the eyes, and smiled.
Her face dropped. Her eyes became pie-eyed, and some weird noise slipped from her lips and I knew that I got her just where I want her. With that look stored in my memory bank, I turned on my heels and made my way up to our bathroom to wash all this gross rain sweat off me.
Under the welcoming rainfall from the shower head, I skim my hands over my body wondering if there’s been some type of chemical or subliminal change that I am unaware of that could possibly explain recent events. I’ve become a tangled web of sensations as of late, and frankly they have been a welcomed distraction and quite a lovely way to pass time. I have to stop questioning things and just accept them as they are. The steam helped me relax and I decided on a whim to use Jenn’s body wash, because she has that expensive 30 dollar body wash from Ralph Lauren. It does smell amazing, I must admit.
Leisurely I got out of the shower and went to put on some sweats and a t-shirt. I lay down on my bed and decided to finally go thru all the text messages I got today. There was at least eight from Jennifer and I think about the same from Shane.
Saving Georgia Page 4