Saving Georgia

by Kristin Flynn

  “Georgia, I need to tell you something.” Shane whispers against my swollen lips.

  “What is it?” I ask, not wanting to open my eyes and begging him to kiss me again.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too” I sigh, without hesitation.

  “No Georgia, you’re not getting it. I’m in love with you.” Shane says, looking for something inside my eyes that I don’t know is even there.

  I sit up, panicked beyond words and shaking. Shane didn’t just say that, did he?

  “Shane, no… I mean you can’t.” I mumble, blinking, trying to think of what is going on. This can’t happen; falling in love is a dangerous thing.

  “Georgia, no matter how much you don’t want it to be true, it can’t change the fact that I am in love with you.” Shane strokes my cheek.

  “Shane, no!” I scream, trying to hold back tears. “Look what falling in love with my family does? My father died then the whole thing with Cecil… and my mom. Love brings pain, and not only that Shane this puts everything at risk and I cannot afford to lose you.” I plead with him. “You’re going to ruin everything.” I whisper.

  “No, I’m not Georgia. I’m not going to change anything if you don’t want me to, but I can’t hold this back anymore. Especially with the whole Jason situation and I think he’s only after one thing.” Shane pushes on.

  “One thing?” I ask.

  “Your virginity.”

  “Oh come on, he already assured me that wouldn’t happen. And frankly it would be easier to try to learn to love him and lose him than to put my love for you at risk.” I try to explain to him, but I just don’t think he understands how important he is to me.

  “Georgia, that won’t happen!” Shane urges. “You love me, you’re in love with me, just admit it, you stupid silly girl.” Shane begs, grabbing my hands while kneeling in front of me.

  “You’re the single most important person in my life, Shane. I can’t see me alive without you. I am stupid, I am broken, and I know I will do something that will make you fall out of love with me, and then I will be alone… I will be all alone. I can’t have that Shane; it’s just not an option for me. Please Shane, please don’t do this.” I beg him.

  “OK” Shane says, lowering his head in defeat. “Just remember, you said you’d forgive me.”

  “I did. And I do.”

  We dried off, and rode home in silence, just holding hands. I know Shane is mad at me, or maybe just the situation, but I know that soon things will go back to normal. Secretly I will keep the notion to myself, that kissing Shane was just as good, if not better than kissing Jason.

  “Here you are lady.” Shane says pulling up the drive.

  “Thank you, Shane.” I smile at him, trying to get him to come back to me.

  “Is it too much to ask for one last kiss?” Shane asks.

  “Yes.” I rush, noticing my breathing kicking up pace. “Please don’t confuse me more than I already am.”

  “You’ll see soon enough Georgia.” Shane says, reaching over my lap and opening the door to the truck. “Now off with you.”

  “OK. I’ll see you around. Call me tomorrow.” I slam the truck door behind me.

  I walked up the stairs to the front porch, smiling but confused. I reached for the keys to open the front door and suddenly I feel arms around me. I thought Shane drove off?

  “OK, maybe one more kiss.” I say, before I turn around. Something is stirring around inside of me.

  “That sounds… amazing.” He says.

  My eyes jump open, and I drop my keys. “Jason?” I shriek, and I’m pulled into the second passionate embrace of the evening.

  Chapter 8

  His mouth is manipulating my lips, his tongue circling inside my mouth. His hands are caressing my sun kissed, cold skin. He picks me up and presses me against the front door, his hands cradling my face, and my hands are grabbing a hold of his shirt. His teeth graze the length of my neck, and he sucks gently on the part of my neck where it meets my collar bone. He covers my chest plate with millions of little kisses, and his fingers graze the outsides of my thighs. It’s hot. It’s bloody freaking hot.

  “I wasn’t expecting you.” I say in a breathy voice.

  “Then who were you expecting?” Jason asks

  “Does it matter?” I ask, trying to avoid answering that question.

  “I’m not sure?” Jason asks, backing off. “Can we go inside and talk?” He asks me, nuzzling his face against mine.

  “I guess we can talk.” I say, bending over to get the keys.

  “No, allow me.” Jason says, bending over to pick them up for me. He lets me in and inside there are a bunch of pink roses.

  “Oh my! Jenn must be excited! I have to call her to tell her she has flowers.”

  “Those aren’t for Jenn.” Jason says. “I sent them.”

  “These are for me?” I ask, stunned beyond belief.

  “Yes, of course they are.” Jason wrapping his arm around me.

  “How did they get in my house?” I ask.

  “I have no idea, I had them delivered. I thought you saw them by now, which is why you didn’t shoo me off the porch.”

  “No, huh uh. I just got home from spending the day with Shane.” I said walking into the living room.

  “Oh, well, I have no idea. But I’m glad I caught you, I really wanted to apologize for what happened last night. I shouldn’t have let myself get into that type of situation and I am so sorry that it happened. I am not going to ask for your forgiveness, because I don’t deserve it. But, please believe that I never wanted, or asked for that to happen.” Jason says, while pacing the room.

  “I believe you.” I said.

  Jason stops in his tracks and looks up at me. “You do?”

  “I do. Jenn explained to me that it was all of Harper’s doing.” I glance at him and realize he looks more confused than I do.

  “OK.” Jason starts, “then why didn’t you call me back or text me back or…”

  “OK, sorry to cut you off but I just got my phone back from Jenn just now. Well, she put it up in Shane’s truck but I hadn’t seen it even yet.”

  “I see. OK then. That makes sense.” Jason says, sitting down next to me. “Look, I obviously am extremely attracted to you, and I love the little that I know about you. I was very serious with what I said last night. I want to be with you, and maybe we will fall in love but neither of us can guarantee that.” Jason exhales, taking my hand in his.

  “Jason, the idea of falling in love with you is novel. But, I can’t say that it doesn’t frighten me and shake me to the core, because it does. I am a very emotionally unstable person, and I am willing to admit that. What you need to know is that I can’t afford to have my heart broken time and time again. We’re going to college, I’m going to ECU and I have no idea where you’re going. I need stability in my life, I need consistency. I don’t know if you can provide that or not.” I can’t believe I just admitted that.

  “I want to try. I see things in you that I don’t see in anyone else. You’re pure, you’re old fashioned and I love that. I don’t have to dazzle you, or bring you lavish things but that just makes me want to do that more. I feel like I could be a better man around you, Georgia, and I’m just asking for time to figure that out. I want to know your favorite color, or how you take your coffee. Would you do me the extraordinary honor by allowing me to be in your life romantically?”

  Wow, just… wow. What do I say to that? “Wait… what?” I blink, trying to see if this is truly happening. Just a short week ago, I was in my pleasant little bubble where Shane wasn’t in love with me, Jason wasn’t kissing me and Harper Kelly was evil but with two eyes. Now, I have boy dilemmas that most girls would kill for but I wish they were just part of a teenaged phenomenon that I wasn’t privy to.

  “Georgia, you make me want to be a better guy. When I am not with you, I am wishing I was. When I am not kissing you, and God it kills me even now not to kiss you, I am dying
to. I want to be with you, I want to know more about you. Just please just give me a chance.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” My jaw is just hung open.

  “Then just kiss me, if you kiss me back then it’s a yes, and if you don’t… then, I just don’t know what I’ll do with myself.” Jason says, getting down on one knee to look up into my eyes.

  “Jason, please I…” I start.

  “Shh, don’t Georgia.” He says, putting a finger on my lips. “Just let me live in this moment of possibility for a little longer.” He leans into me and kisses me, gently at first. I didn’t respond, I didn’t move and I let him control everything. “Touch me, please” Jason begs, and I put my hand against his chin. “Please Georgia,” it sounds like he is crying. “Please, please say yes.” He says, and then I felt the teardrops on my face. He is crying! And it was then, that I kissed him back. I kiss him hard. I will do anything to make sure he won’t cry. I can’t have anyone crying over me.

  “My favorite soda is ginger ale,” I whisper into his parted lips.

  “What?” he asks, pulling away just enough to hear me.

  “Ginger ale is my favorite soda.” I say again.

  Jason laughs, knowing what my crazy statement meant. “Thank you, baby, thank you.”

  He just called me baby? This is going to take some getting used to. Jason Grimes called me baby. Jason Grimes is my pseudo boyfriend. Jason Grimes likes to make out with me. In your face Harper Kelly.

  “I need to get to bed so…” I start.

  “Please, I’ve spent all day wanting to be with you, I don’t want to leave just yet. “ Jason begs, pulling on my hand.

  “Can you remain a gentleman?” I ask him, standing up and letting his grip remain.

  “I can surely do my best. I promise not to cross any lines, but I cannot promise that I won’t kiss you relentlessly.” He smiles, looking me in the eye to make sure I can see his honest intentions.

  “OK. I believe you. Fair warning, sometimes I get a little loopy when I go to sleep.” I tell him, avoiding the night terror aspect; I will take some of my sedative medication.

  “OK, some medication or something?” Jason asks.

  “Something like that. I have a hard time sleeping.” I admit to just basics and I avoid anything else. “I’ll show you to my room. I will be there in a little bit.”

  I helped him to his feet, and took him upstairs. I grabbed some sweat shorts and a tank top for bed. I made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower and to freshen up a bit, so I didn’t smell like stale lake water and sweat.

  I found my sleeping medicine and slipped it down my throat with a glass of water. Quickly I threw my hair into a bun, and hurriedly made my way into my room. For a second I thought, ‘one bed, two boys in two nights.’ I’ve turned out to be quite the pseudo harlot. There sitting on my bed, waiting for me is Jason Grimes. Once he noticed I was in the doorway he looks up at me and smiles.

  “You look lovely.” He says, motioning for me to sit beside him. I moved over to him, and stood in front of him. I got some wild notion to go bold.

  “I think I saw Harper straddle you like this.” I said, copying her move for move.

  “Yeah, she did.”

  “And I think I saw her kiss you like this.” I said, as I leaned into him and kissing him just like she did.

  “Uh huh,” Jason says, running his hands up my back. “But there is a difference.” He smiles, leaning back from me.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “I didn’t enjoy it with her.” He holds on to my hips. “And as lovely as this is, Georgia, this isn’t what we need to be doing.” Jason pulls me down from on top of him.

  “I thought you wanted to kiss me relentlessly?” I asked, confused.

  “Yes, but there isn’t a need for borderline foreplay. Having you on top of me like that makes me want to lead this into other things that you’re not ready for yet. So, I’m asking you nicely to please refrain from those types of actions.” Jason looks me straight in the eye, taking me aback. Now, I feel like I can trust him.

  “Oh, wow. You’ve just gained a whole new level of respect from me.” I said, looking down into those deep, blue eyes, and I run my hand through his golden blonde locks.

  “Good, that’s the intention. I want you to trust me.” Jason s caresses my cheek.

  We lay like this for hours, snuggling each other, talking, and passionately kissing, until I fell asleep.

  “Morning beautiful,” is the first thing I hear. Jason is awake and softly kissing my cheeks and temples.

  “Morning,” I yawn. “Did you sleep OK?” I ask, stretching out, and trying to turn away in case I have morning breath.

  “I slept very well, thank you for asking.” Jason smilies against my skin. “You smell so wonderful in the morning.”

  “Really? I feel sticky with sweat.” I say, confused.

  “Hmm, you’d never know. What should we do today?” Jason asks, while stroking my hair and it feels so good I could fall asleep.

  “I got to go to church.” I mumble into my pillow, thinking he can’t hear me.

  “OK, I will go with you.” He says, with his hands skimming across my collarbone, then down to my hips.

  “Are you religious?” I ask him, wondering idly if he even romances the notion of God.

  “Not very, but I know you’re passionate about it. It’s one of the few things that I do know about you.” Jason says, sitting up.

  “Do you believe in God?” I ask, sitting up to face him.

  “Georgia…” Jason starts, looking down on his hands. “I do. I do believe in God. It’s just that I have been so angry with him that I deliberately went against him. I chose to sin. It was easier.”

  “Of course it was easier!” I scoff at him. “Sin is easy; it’s believing in God and trusting Him that is the hard part. I want to give everything to him.” I preach. “If there is no God, and if we don’t believe in Him and follow Him, then all the malice and pain is all for nothing.” Which, in my heart I hold to be truer than anything else I believe in.

  “I see your point, but being on the fence about God is worse than going against Him. And that is where I was. Maybe being with you is what I need to bring me back to that place, which is why I said I would go with you this morning.”

  “You baffle me, Jason Grimes.” I said, looking at him sideways so he can understand the abundance of my confusion.

  “You go get ready missy. I’ll go downstairs to wait for you.” He says, standing up and excusing himself from my bedroom.

  I went to my closet to find one of the dresses Jennifer and Harper picked out for me, and I found the nice little polka dot number they got me. I gracefully pinned my hair back, and tried my best at a little makeup. Jenn must still be sleeping, so I tried to stay as quiet as can be.

  I went downstairs and found Jason in the sitting room, waiting patiently. He looks up at me, and his whole face smiles and glows. I couldn’t help but smile back at him, and thinking about the little things that I noticed in the last 24 hours; our talk about God, and his respect for my celibacy really hit home for me. This is a man I could see myself with, if he is in fact everything he has been portraying. It’s just now that I’m giving a thought about Shane and how this would affect him. The last thing I want to do is hurt Shane and I could never forgive myself for doing so.

  “Jason, can we not publicize our relationship?” I ask him, with a chaste look on my face.

  “Why is that, love?” He asks, standing up and walking towards me with lines of worry on his face.

  “I don’t want any more drama, or to hurt anyone.” I offer, which is true.

  “I see.” Jason says, pulling me close to his chest. “Let’s just all take this one step at a time.”

  “Please.” I agree, “Now let’s get to church before it’s too late.” I say, pushing away from his chest to lead the way to my car.

  Once we got to the car, Jason opened the door for me. I went into the pas
senger’s side. I looked in the back seat for my Bible, but it wasn’t there. I must have left it in Mrs. Hyde’s car. Oh well, maybe next time.

  I gave Jason the directions to the church, and once we got there I see Harper Kelly standing outside with her mother. She gave us the best stink eye she could, and Jason and I walk right on past them. Jenn did give her a good shiner.

  We sat in the back, holding hands and I did my best to avoid Shane and his mother, not because I was ashamed of my relationship with Jason, but to protect Shane’s heart, and more importantly my own.

  Halfway through service, I did catch Shane’s eye glaring back at me, and I can feel how mad he is from across the room. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. Misty Swanson is at church today, and she is giving me one heck of a confused look. I’m going to have some explaining to do.

  After the service, I wanted to linger to see what happens with Shane; if he ignores me or if he confronts me. I’m hoping he confronts me, because that means he will still talk to me.

  “What are we waiting for?” Jason asks me.

  “Shane.” I say, holding his hand. Jason looks at me confused.

  “Shane Dalton?” Jason asks me.

  “Yes. He’s my best friend and I need to see something.” I say, not taking my gaze away from Shane.

  “Uh huh.” Jason mutters, as if he is a little disappointed and mad.

  “Not now Jason.” I warn him.

  Finally, Mrs. Dalton is wrapping things up, and Shane is walking with her. Shane starts walking towards me and he nods at me ‘hello’. I smile and he fakes it back, and I can tell.

  “Shane.” Jason says, holding his hand out for greetings.

  “Mr. Grimes.” Shane says, shaking his hand. “Can I see you later?” Shane asks looking at me.