Saving Georgia

by Kristin Flynn

  “Jason,” I say as a warning, slowly shaking my head. “I need to wait for that.”

  Jason nods, retracts his hand and leans his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry” he squint his eyes closed and his face is so tantalizing close to mine. “I just want to be with you, be close to you in every sense of the word.”

  “I can see that. And believe me it’s not easy on my part to say no to you either.” I pant. “I just swore that I’d keep what virtue I have intact for my future husband. I wanted the first time I willingly have sex, that I…” I tried to explain.

  “Wait, ‘willingly have sex’?” Jason cuts me off.

  Instantly I blush. I can feel my eyes widen up and swell up with tears. I’ve said too much, and he caught on that little slip up.

  “I… I…” I look around hopelessly.

  “You don’t mean to tell me, please tell me that you’re not saying…” Jason looks real mad. He retracts his hands from me and my body aches in their absence. His hands ball up into fists, and he punches the side of our once wonderful cart. We start to slowly descend as the next couple takes our spot up top. Jason rings his hands through his hair and he looks almost at a loss. “Who was it?” He asks me, without looking at me. His eyes are dead set on the horizon before us.

  “Jason, please don’t make me tell you. I’m sure you’ve heard rumors and whatever about my past, just think of those and let your mind wander. I can’t tell you… I just can’t visit that place again. Can we please talk about something else?” I beg him, putting my hand on his thigh, silently willing him to look at me.

  “No. I need to know. I need to know whoever this is, that he got what’s coming to him and if he hasn’t I will deliver it my damn self.” Jason yells out. Man, he is really angry. He is really sexy when he is really angry.

  “Jason, sweetie, he is in jail. In fact there’s a parole hearing soon and if you like you can wait outside that day for me.” I offer him.

  “Like hell I will!” He shouts, startling the couple above us. “I’m going in there with you.” He turns and looks at me, like if I even open my mouth to protest, he’d be angry.

  “OK.” I say, looking down at my hands. Somehow they have been worrying at the hem of my dress.

  “No one and I mean no one, gets to hurt you, let alone hurt you and walk away with it.” Jason stares at me, tilting my chin up to look at him. “And we will wait to be that intimate as long as we need to wait. End of story.” He looks me dead in the eye to make sure I understand him.

  “Thank you.” I whisper, with my heart so full it’s bursting at the seams. I have this contented feeling flush over me. I sigh, with a slight smile played upon my lips.

  “What is it?” Jason asks, with only a hint of happiness playing in the corner of his mouth.

  “I just really appreciate the gesture is all,” I started, “but I need you to know something. In no way do you owe me the notion of…” failing at the words, I flash my hands in front of me “I don’t know – protecting my honor I guess? That sounds cheesy and old fashioned, but that’s the best I can come up with. You know what I am trying to say, don’t you?” I ask him.

  “I know I don’t owe you anything. And I know you’re thinking that we barely know each other. I know you’re thinking that because you wanted to talk tonight. And that’s fine and I am all for that. We should know more about each other – but more importantly, what I do know is how I feel when I am with you. Maybe I’m trying to save you Georgia, maybe I can’t, I don’t know. I don’t have the slightest clue about what happened to you, but Georgia maybe you’re saving me too.” The look of desperation in Jason’s eyes is unmistakable. Maybe he has a sordid past that I don’t know about, or maybe something is going on now – I can’t be too sure. But, the desperate silent plea he is giving me to kiss him I could not miss. I kissed this boy, I kissed him hard, and the Ferris Wheel lowered another seat again. We started at the top of the world, and we’re sinking into something deeper, something more real. The need between our souls is expressed fervently through our lips, our hands. I had my fingers buried in his gorgeous hair, massaging his scalp, pulling at his golden locks. His hands cradled my face, his fingers knotted in my pulled up hair.

  “Stop seeing him.” Jason begs me.

  “Huh?”,I am confused.

  “Stop seeing Shane. Don’t go to prom with him, come with me.” Jason asks me in a pleading whisper. Our foreheads bound together, “Please, Georgia.” Jason caresses every inch of me.

  “Jason, I can’t…. Shane is… I…” At a loss for words I lift my head up and look at the horizon, remembering everything Shane and I went through, the stuff Shane knows and the fact that I know I’m starting to fall in love with him and Jason at the same time. I can’t just walk away. I can’t just pick one, and that’s when it hit me. I will never be able to choose.

  Chapter 12

  The ride back to my house was nice, and the smell of the kudzu is welcoming as ever. I had the windows down and the radio up, just like a summer night should be. The song on the radio really spoke to me. Normally I have it on the country radio station but Jenn changed it on me. A song by Secondhand Serenade “Fall For you” was on. Jenn got a ride home from Nick and it was just me and my memories, singing along with the radio. It made my heart flutter, and I belted out the lyrics, absentmindedly – trying to see who it is I picture, if anyone. The ache burns fiercely inside of me, and I welcomed it. I will not let it consume me, and lead me to things that cannot be undone.

  With Prom on the horizon, and graduation shortly behind, I’m looking forward to rehearsal with Misty this week, and my work shift at the feed store. A distraction is much needed. Both boys begged me to pick them, and I will never come to a conclusion on which fate will be sealed. Misty’s relentless obsession for perfection is just what I needed. I never thought I’d ever say that. Suddenly feeling inspired, I rushed home even faster.

  Seeing the front porch light on, my smile crept back up on my face. As Dorothy said, “there’s no place like home.” Parking Elsie, I slowly got out the car and grabbed my clutch and headed to the house. Hearing a noise behind me, I turned around, to find nothing there. The Carolina wilderness often escaped my mind, and figuring it was a coyotes or a deer, I headed back into the house.

  Laying on my bed, with my trusty companion Muffin, my fearless cat, things seemed calm, and normal. It doesn’t seem like a cloud of woe and stress was upon me. We cuddled and snuggled, and the worries of my life floated away. I must have fallen asleep because Jenn woke me up when she got home.

  “Georgy, you OK?” Jenn asks me sitting down on my bed, shaking me.

  “I’m good, what’s up?” I ask, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

  “You were screaming.” Jenn crosses the room, setting her purse down on my bed.

  “Again?” I huff, sitting up. “Did I say anything this time?” I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus on her face.

  “Not really, just noises.” Jenn crawls in my bed, laying down next to me. “How was your date?” Jenn asks, nudging me with her elbow.

  “Pretty amazing, actually,” I said, smiling.

  “Yeah? I want the whole scoop!” Jenn sits straight up and bounces on my mattress. Muffin didn’t like that so she left me stranded with the suddenly obnoxious bottle of energy.

  “We have school tomorrow, can’t this wait? What time is it?” I grumble, if this girl isn’t sleeping her life away, she acts as if she is allergic to it.

  “I don’t know, midnight? Twelve thirty?”

  “Goodness! Jenn!” I pout.

  “Come on now! Don’t hold out!” Jenn pesters me, and pulls me up into a sitting position.

  “I swear Jenn, you’re going to owe me coffee in the morning.” I huff at her. “We talked, we kissed and he is more about me than just trying to get into my pants, which I like.” I told her, without even looking at her face.

  “Really? I had him pegged wrong.” Jenn scoff, sounding every bit baffled as I was. “Lik
e, he’s totally into you?” She spits out sounding more like a question than a statement.

  “Don’t sound like it’s too far fetched or anything, Jenn.” I muster back at her, standing up. I didn’t realize how hot and sweaty I have gotten.

  “No, no. I’m not saying anything about you, more about his character. I didn’t know he was capable of feelings or anything like that.” Jenn stares up at me as I stretch trying to shake some of this slumber. I do want to fall back asleep but I desperately need a shower, and falling is not on top of my to-do list.

  “Well, honestly it kinda shocked me too. But, he does, he definitely does.” I smile, while bringing my fingers to my lips, remembering the tingling sensation he placed there just a few short hours ago.

  “Uh huh, and you kissed him. Or he kissed you. Either or – you’re guilty!” Jenn laughs standing up and walking over to me to make sure I was properly and sarcastically accosted.

  “Uh huh.” I smiled, and started to head to the bathroom. Maybe she will get the hint and leave well enough alone.

  “And….?” Jenn follows me into the bathroom like a little lost puppy that I fed one too many times. Hint obviously not received.

  I sighed. Not caring too much about modesty at this hour, I undressed and turned on the shower. Not looking at her, and remembering the sullen moment of my evening, I whispered “He wants the truth about Cecil.”

  I heard her cell phone drop before I registered anything else. Shampoo in my eyes, I run my face under the warm water hoping I’d hear something else from her. Finally the silence was broken.

  “What? Did you tell him anything?” Jenn panics, pulling back the shower curtain.

  “No. I can’t talk about it really. You of all people know that. I even have a hard time telling you.” I almost hissed at her. I don’t wake easy, I guess. “Now shut the curtain. Water is getting everywhere.”

  “Stop being so bitchy, I’m just trying to talk to you, to understand. You can’t just spring the Cecil thing on a girl and not expect a reaction.” Jenn was seething. I can feel it radiating from her body. She’s just trying to protect me like she always has. Gosh, I just love this girl, even if she drives me mad.

  I sighed. She is right. She has every reason to be involved in knowing who knows what. Cecil didn’t just destroy my life; it shook hers to the core as well. Although I was the one uprooted and abandoned, she went from the only child to having a pseudo sister. She was forced to share everything with me from that day on. Remembering the day I was brought back to the Hyde’s was one I look back on with mixed emotions of chagrin, horror and reverence. Seeing Mrs. Hyde was like seeing a bright, glowing angel in my shadow of darkness. It was amazing and I felt hopeful, but then I am quickly reminded of what put me into that state. The hunger, the filth – all of that is still fresh in my mind. I can sometimes still smell the odor of the basement and how the policemen gagged when they came to my rescue. How they found me in the first place, I am still unsure. Mrs. Hyde knows and she keeps telling me the how is not important – but the fact that I am alive and well is. She keeps telling me that God is the one who saved me – and she is right. If it wasn’t for God, there wouldn’t be a today for me let alone a tomorrow. Suddenly I feel very blessed to be in the dilemma I am in now. “I know – and if I decide to tell him everything I will tell you first. He wants to go with me to the parole hearing. I said that it was OK. They only go over the charges and not the details. But, for the record he was pissed that something happened to me, and that was sweet.”

  “He’s not the only one who was or is pissed at the situation.” Jenn says, shoving a hand on the hip she is leaning against.

  “I know you’re pissed too.” I lightly laugh, while rolling my eyes.

  “Not me, baby cakes. I’m talking about Shane.” She is pointing a finger at me. Seriously, can I shower in private? “Anyways, I wanted to talk about Nick. That’s why I woke you up.”

  “OK, but can we talk with the shower curtain closed? There’s this weird thing that I have called modesty, and it makes me like to have some form of privacy.” I urge her.

  “Fine” she sighs, all exasperated. “So we walked around the fair and he won me stuffed animals and we kissed. Well, we kissed before but this time is was like… damn!” She gushes. I could swear I heard Mr. Hyde roll over in his bed. “So, I’m thinking that he’s the one.”

  “You’re already talking about marriage?” I shriek in a whispered voice. There is no freaking way she is thinking about this already!

  “No, silly, I’m thinking I want to… you know… go to the next level. On prom night,” She says in her hush-hush voice. Crimson is painted across her cheeks.

  “What!” I yell, pulling the curtain back myself. “No, don’t you think it’s too soon? Don’t you think you’d want to wait? For something really special… I don’t know… maybe marriage?” I am livid. How could she think of doing that? Tossing her V-card so soon!

  “Georgia! I thought you of all people would understand.” She pouts at me and furrows her eyebrow.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I stare at her, deadpan.

  “I mean… you’ve… I know it’s nothing comparable but… you’re my best friend and I thought you’d also be excited for me and just support my decision whether you agree with it or not. It’s my decision and besides I’ve kinda been pretty close a few times with other people. I just want to cross that hurdle and there’s no one else who even comes close to being worth it until I met Nick.”

  “You did not just almost go there. Tell me you didn’t just almost go there! And besides what I went through doesn’t even constitute for anything but brutality. In my heart I still have my V-card and I’m going to hold onto that until I’m married, and I suggest you do the same. In some ways I was pretty lucky because I could have gotten an STD or pregnant.” I threw my hands up in the air in utter disgust. “And you may not have that same fate. Protection can only go so far.” I said pointing at her. I hurriedly threw on a towel and marched my wet butt back into my bedroom to get into some light pajamas. I closed and locked the door behind me and found a tank top and underwear to throw on. I can’t believe how immature and ridiculous she is being. Where does she get off comparing my sordid past to her current love life/ sex life? Just because I had some sick man’s pendulous member inside my indefensible body doesn’t mean that I condone such negligent behavior. Why would she even bring that up? I’m pissed. I’m so pissed. It’s 1 AM and I am up. I’m angry and I’m awake. I wonder if anyone else is up. My thumbs found my cell phone and started pounding away hard at the keys. Before I can second guess what I was doing I hit send.

  30 seconds later my phone chirps. I smile reading the text. I’m glad he is still up.

  I’m still up too. Can’t get you off my mind. Let’s go talk. What do you say?

  A smile creeps across my post-anger face. I still can’t believe she would compare my situation to her losing her V-card. I’m just so disgusted. I quickly threw on a bra, pulled my wet hair into a ponytail and found some shorts and flip flops. He’d be here shortly. I just need to vent and I’m too angry to fall asleep. Thank you, Jennifer Radley Hyde.

  I quietly opened my door and tiptoed out into the hallway and snuck as quietly and quickly down the stairs as I possibly could. I opened the front door and waited on the swing on the front porch. I waited patiently, watching the night sky for the one person I want to see right now. The one person who could make me forget all of what just happened.

  Within 20 minutes, if even that, a familiar set of headlights came into view. He can help me forget. I stood up briskly and ran for the truck, he opened my door from inside and I hopped in as fast as I could.

  “Where do you want to go, princess?” He grabs hold of my hand and kisses my palm.

  “Anywhere that we can talk, and maybe help me forget what just happened.” I stared out the window, trying to avoid eye contact because I don’t know if I might cry or just want to kiss him. And right now, that
would be too much with my raw emotions.

  “OK princess, your wish is my command. I know the perfect place.” He drops my hand and we drove off. Around the bend from the Hyde’s place there is a road that leads into the hunting grounds. He made the sharp turn and started down another dirt road and we went up a hill. The early morning dew was starting to accumulate, and I had my hand out the window to feel the slightly brisk air, and my hand became dewy. It was such a refreshing feeling.

  On the top of a hill there is a small cabin and a swing set in front. It was so sweet; it was made of all wood except the chains and they were just the standard chains you can get from any hardware store. It looked like it was either cedar or a treated and stained oak maybe. The cabin was made of logs as well, and had a green trim with a matching door and shutters. The property had tons of foliage and flowers, it looked well kept . He opened the door for me and I hopped down out the cab of the truck. He grabbed his phone and put on some music, something light and airy to help change my mood. I sauntered over to the swing set and smiled. He walked after me and we sat side by side, turned ever so slightly in our swings and held hands.

  “Thank you for picking me up. You have no idea what that means to me. I just didn’t want to be alone and I couldn’t be around her right now.” I looked at my feet, and I was digging into the earth with my toes. I’m going to need another bath, I laugh to myself.

  “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He winks at me while kissing my hand. “As a matter of fact, there was something else I have been thinking about.” He stretches, standing up and walking in front of me. He put his hands on the chains to my swing and started to push me up and back. He leaned in and I kept my head down. His forehead leaning against mine, I could feel the slight stubble of his sideburns on his pretty face brush against my cheek. My heart started pounding and I can smell his cologne drifting up in this summer’s eve breeze. “Do you want me to kiss you Georgia? I’ve been wanting to kiss you, all I ever think about is kissing you. But, I won’t do it unless you ask me to.”