by KC Mills
“Look, ma, how many times do I have to explain this shit to you? I care about you because on the real, you're Jahari's mother. You do your thing when it comes to him and I appreciate that because he’s my world, but you and me, ain't shit there and it ain't ever gon’ be shit there. You need to find somebody who makes you happy, who wants to be with you, ’cause I don't, Anj.”
“So you’d rather let another man play daddy to your son instead of you just doing the right thing and making us a family?”
I let my hand move across my head and then down my face before I stood, lifting Hari with me. My hand caressed his thick curls before I kissed him on the forehead and then positioned him in his swing. I was calm as hell in appearance, but inside the beast was growling. After I started Hari’s swing, I turned slowly to face Anj, but the second our eyes met, my hand covered her throat, giving it a firm squeeze and her eyes bucked the point where I was surprised they didn't pop out her damn head.
Bringing her body to mine so that our faces were inches apart, I spoke calmly through clenched teeth.
“If you ever, and I mean ever, say some bullshit like that again, I swear on everything real, I will take your fucking life. I can raise Hari by myself, trust me Anj, and I will do it. He has one got damn father, and if you for one second think that shit is about to change, then you’re dumber than I thought. Now you can open your legs for whoever you want, in fact I think you need to cause my shit is off limits from now own, but my son...” I laughed sarcastically before I continued. “Is just that, my son, and that will never change. Now act like you don’t understand that and you’re playing with your life, Anj. We good on that?”
Anj nodded so I let her go. She covered her neck with her hands and began massaging it while gasping for air.
“You better not ever put your hands on me again, Jock, or I’ll—”
“You’ll what, Anj? Call the cops, get some nigga to step to me, tell your ratchet ass family?” A smirk formed as I began to unbuckle my son from his swing. “Do that shit, I don't give a fuck, ’cause I’ll handle all three. Now go get his bag, don't worry about packing extra shit. I’ll buy what he needs, but just make sure he has a few diapers and some milk for now. He’s rolling with me today. Your dumb ass needs some time alone to think.”
“Where are you taking my son, Jock?”
“Oh, he’s your son now? A few minutes ago, he was my son and you were just the babysitter.” I chuckled.
“Fuck you, Jock. You're not taking him. I don't know what you have going on, and I don't want my son in danger.”
“What I have going on makes it possible for your ass to sit up in this nice ass house all day with too much time on your hands, so don't question me, Anj. Go get his got damn bag.”
She looked at me but then left the room. A few minutes later, she returned with Hari’s bag and car seat.
I took the bag and left the seat. “I got my own shit, I don't need that.”
I began moving to the front door and she was right behind me, running her damn mouth. “When are you bringing him back, Jock?”
“Didn't I just tell your dumb ass not to question me? Go in the got damn house before you have these damn white folks looking through their blinds and shit.”
Anj hesitated for a minute, but she stepped to me and kissed Hari on the cheek. “Mommy loves you sweet pea,” she said.
After one last kiss, she turned to walk away. She knew better than to make a scene, so without her objecting again, I got my son situated and left with him.
Kizzie
“So, you’re chilling with your man tonight?” I laid my phone down on the bed after putting it on speaker so that I could talk to my girl while I straightened up my room.
Red had just left and I was about to clean up and relax for the rest of the night. It was almost seven and I had spent most of the day with him, but he had to go check on his locations since he had been out of town for the past couple days. I knew he would be back later, so for now, I was going to relax.
“If you mean am I chilling with Siah tonight, then yes I am.”
“Girl bye, I meant exactly what I said. You’re chilling with your man tonight.”
“Whatever, Kizz, what’s up with you? I thought you’d be up under Red at least until tomorrow. I mean, since you left me stranded handling business by myself all day.”
“I didn't leave you stranded, Nonie. I had my shit handled and you know it, but he just left. He had to go handle some business and said he’d be back tonight, but it would be late. I was going to stay at his spot, but I just wanted to be home. Don't forget we have to meet Archer in the morning to work out the details for his wife’s party.”
“Girl, I’ll be there. I’m supposed to be staying at Siah’s house tonight, but I’m trying to figure out a way to get out of it. He’s not trying to hear it, though.”
“Damn, Nonie, why you gotta go all the way out there? Tell him to stay at your spot. You already can't get your ass up in the morning, and I don't wanna be stuck with Archer’s creepy ass all by myself.”
I shuddered a little and shook it off. Archer was an old school player. You could tell he used to be something back in the day, but he was almost fifty and his old ass liked to get too friendly with his hands. The first time we met, he kept rubbing my arm, my back and licking his damn lips when he looked at me. It was creepy as hell, and I damn sure wasn't about to be alone with him. Everybody knew that Archer liked his women young. Hell, his wife was thirty, and she was considered old. Archer was known for kicking it with the twenty plus one, crowd, but this twenty-four year old kitty was off limits to him.
Nonie laughed, which made me frown. “Girl, I’ll be there so Archer’s creepy ass won't try to pin you up against a wall and sample your goodies.”
“That shit isn't funny, hoe. You know he be looking at me all strange. He don't fuck with you because of Siah, but I guess he thinks I’m fair game.” I shuddered again.
“You want me to tell Siah to handle him for you? He can put a bug in his ear that you’re off limits too. Hell, Kizz, just tell him that Jock said stay the fuck back and he will.”
“Man, no, I’m not using Jock’s name for shit. He’ll read into that and swear I want him.”
“Umm, hoe, you do. Were you not just damn near crying in my office about being in love with two men, one of which was Jock?”
I sucked my teeth but then laughed. “Nope, don't know what you’re talking about. Just make sure you’re there, Nonie. I mean it.”
“Hoe, I said I’ll be there, damn.”
After I collected all my dirty clothes, I dumped them in my hamper and fell back on my bed, looking around my room. The bags full of stuff that Red bought me caught my eye and I smiled.
“Red went shopping for me while he was gone. You should see all the shit he brought back.”
“I’ll come check it out, but you got that man hitting up malls while you screwing somebody else. You're foul, Kiz.” I could hear the smile in Nonie’s voice so I knew she was playing, but she was right. I felt like shit too.
“Did you really have to go there?” I snapped.
“You know I’m just playing, boo. Don't get all emotional, but if it bothers you that much, then do something about it.”
“I will, just not right now. But anyway, what are you and Siah doing tonight?”
“About to drive to New York. I know he was just trying to plan something that he knew I wouldn't say no to.”
I laughed. “Girl, please. You would have said yes if he offered you a trip to McDonald's drive through, so stop fronting. But since he’s doing it big, hit up the plaza and put a dent in his pockets. You know he don't mind anyway.”
“I don't need to put a dent in his pockets, Kizz. It's not about his money, and you of all people should know that.”
I could tell I struck a nerve. Me and Nonie were different with things like that. I guess it came from being raised different. Nonie had her family weren't rich, but they were good. Her mom wa
s a nurse and her dad was an engineer, so she always had shit. They taught her to work hard and have her own.
Me, on the other hand, I was raised by a mother, whose main goal was to take men for as much as she could get, and when his well ran dry, you moved onto another who was overflowing. I learned to be the same way. How could I not, when my mom was constantly preaching that men needed to pay for the privileges that we offered?
The kitty came with a price. My mom had no love for men, only what they could offer. That was my way of thinking until I met Red. I fell for him and fell hard. He would do any and everything for me, and all he wanted in return was my heart, but old habits were hard to break. There was a part of me that still functioned off the get as much as you can philosophy. I hated it, but it was sort of embedded in my DNA.
“I know that, Nonie, but I’m just saying. If he's buying, which clearly he will be, then have some fun, boo. Let Siah take care of you for once. You know how he is. He lives for that shit. He loves to spoil his boo,” I said with a big as grin, hoping to lighten the mood.
It was true. Siah couldn't get his act together, but he treated Nonie like a queen in all other aspects of her life. She would never want for a damn thing as long as he was around, even though her stubborn ass fought him tooth and nail.
Nonie chuckled. “Yeah, you right, I might let him do a little something. There is a new watch and purse I want, so we’ll see.”
“Do it, boo, but you better hurry up. You know the stores close at nine thirty and it's already almost seven. It's gonna take you an hour just to get there.”
“I know, I'm already dressed and Siah is on his way.”
“Aight, well, I’m about to chillax for a minute, so I’ll see you in the morning. Don’t be late, Nonie, or I swear I’ll leave Archer’s creepy ass standing outside until you get there.” I frowned just saying his name.
Nonie burst out laughing. “You can't be doing our clients like that, Kiz, how you expect to make money?”
“Man, I don't if it means being stuck in a room alone with Archer, so just be on time.”
“Bye, crazy, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Have fun, but not too much fun,” I said and then ended the call.
For now, I was about to open a bottle of Moscato and lay up in my bed with some reruns of my favorite trash TV.
*****
The sound of my doorbell snatched me out of my sleep. Somebody was laying on that bitch like they had lost their damn mind, and it had me heated as I threw my covers back and jumped out of my bed. Storming to my front door, I peeked out the glass panel that lined one of the sides and had to rub my eyes and look again to make sure that I was seeing the right thing.
There Jock stood with a baby in one arm and holding a car seat with the other. I knew Jock had a kid because Nonie told me after Siah let it slip to her one day, but Jock never talked about it with me. Hell, I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl, so why this idiot was standing on my porch with his child was beyond me.
“Kizzie, open the damn door and stop standing there looking stupid. You know I can see your ass, right?” Jock’s heavy voice thundered through the glass, causing me to suck my teeth and begin working on the lock.
Once I had the door open, I stood in the center of it with my arms folded, peering at him while his face was balled up into a frown.
“Whose baby, Jock? And why did you bring him here?” I knew it was his kid, but I wanted to see what he would say.
“Mine, and move, damn. You see me struggling with all this shit. You could help, Kiz.”
Jock pushed past me and entered my house. He didn't say anything else as he walked straight down the hall that led to my bedroom. This fool was just doing too much. I slammed my door and as I was locking it, Jock’s voice filled the room and startled me.
“The fuck is with you damn chicks slamming doors? You do see my son, right?”
My head snapped so quick, but Jock just turned and kept moving until he entered my bedroom. I followed and entered behind him, where Jock already had a navy and gray blanket spread on my bed and was lowering his son on his back. He looked up at me with a mean ass mug while he removed his son’s Nikes and set them on my bed before he worked him out of his sweat pants. I smiled a little as I watched because his son was cute as hell, and fly as shit with his little Nike gear on. On top of that, it was too sexy watching Jock handle him, but I quickly got it together.
“Why are you here, and why did you bring your son with you? I’m not about to be watching the next bitch’s kid.” I looked right at Jock, and when his eyes met mine, they were dark and angry.
“The fuck you mean, Kiz? This is not some bitch’s son, this is my son and that’s all that matters. Did I say shit about you watching him? I know how to take care of my son, Kizzie, so watch your damn mouth.”
Jock removed his son’s pamper, folded it up and then removed a clean one from his bag. After he had it secure on him, he snapped his onesie and then put his sweatpants on him again. When he was done, he lifted him into his arms and then sat down on my bed. Jock smiled at him, not really paying attention to me for a minute until he heard my voice.
“Jock, your son’s cute and all, but why are you here?”
“I’m here because I wanted to see you. Why the fuck you keep asking me that? You got plans or something?”
“Maybe, but since when did we get to the point where you’re bringing your son to my house? A son that I didn't even know you had.”
Jock turned his son so that he was sitting in his lap with his back against his chest. My eyes fell on him and I couldn't help but smile. He was a cutie, looking like a mini Jock, with his sleepy eyes, medium brown skin and full lips. Even the nonchalant expression he wore was all a reflection of Jock’s personality.
“Man, gon’ with that you didn’t know shit. I know you knew about him. Siah told Nonie, which meant that she told your ass. Y'all can't keep secrets for shit.” Jock wore a goofy ass grin as he looked up at me.
“Yeah, she told me, but you didn't,” I said and rolled my eyes before I moved past him to get my phone.
I had to check for messages from Red. The last thing I needed was for him to pop up on me with Jock and his baby all up in my spot.
“I would have told you, but you didn't ask me about it, so I figured you didn't care. I don't have shit to hide from you, Kiz. Especially not my son.”
I looked up from my phone and rolled my eyes at Jock before scrolling through my messages. I had one from Red saying that he got tied up and didn't know if he would make it back, but that he would call me later. I was a little relieved since Jock was at my house, but pissed that he wasn't coming back tonight.
“Why you frowning, Kizzie? That nigga stand you up?” Jock’s voice grasped my attention and my eyes were on him again.
“No, he didn't, but Red is not your business, just like that baby isn't mine. His mother know you brought him here?” I asked, just trying to feel him out on what type of relationship they had. Jock swore he wasn't committed to anyone, but if he had a kid, and a baby at that, then he was likely still messing with the mother.
“Her opinion don't matter, and chill with the slick shit. If you wanna know about her, just ask, Kiz.”
“I don't wanna know about her. It's none of my business. That’s your life, not mine.” I tried my best to sound confident.
Jock’s arrogant ass just laughed. “Yeah, aight. You say that shit now.” His son began to whine a little and was trying to shove his fist in his mouth, so Jock stood and moved toward me. “Yo, hold him for a sec so I can fix his bottle, or he’s about to light this bitch up screaming something terrible. His little ass greedy as fuck.” Jock grinned as he handed him off to me and then moved to the diaper bag that matched the grey and navy blanket that he had laid out on my bed.
He removed a bottle with powder in it, and a bottle of water before he lifted the dirty diaper that he had left on my bed and walked past me out of my room. I followed him to m
y kitchen, carrying his son in my arms. I nuzzled my face in his hair and sniffed before I did the same with his little neck. He smelled so good. I wanted to bite his little chunky cheeks, but I kissed them instead.
“What’s his name, Jock?” I asked as I watched his little face. He kept his eyes on Jock and the bottle that Jock was holding, which was cute to me.
“Jahari.”
I laughed. “A junior, huh? That makes sense, he looks just like you. I bet she was happy as fuck about that. There’s no way you can deny this one.”
“This one?” Jock questioned. “That's my only one, and why would I deny him, Kiz? That’s my seed right there.”
“’Cause niggas be on that, ‘that ain't mine’ type thing. You know how it goes.”
“Man, fuck that. Only a bitch ass muthafucker denies his seed, and that ain't me.”
My eyes moved to Jock, who poured water in the bottle he was holding, and then shook it up. His expression was serious, like I had somehow offended him by what I said, which I thought was cute. Jock was already sexy to me, but daddy Jock was making my kitty purr.
“You want me to get him or you wanna feed him?” Jock asked, breaking me out of my lustful state.
I didn't say anything; I just extended my hand to reach for the bottle. When I had it, I moved to the sofa and sat down and leaned Jahari back in my arms a little before I slid the nipple of the bottle between his lips. His little chubby hands wrapped around it and he went to town.
“Don't hold him back too far or the milk will drain in his ears. He gets a lot of ear infections and shit. The doctors said that's part of it,” Jock tossed out before sitting next to me.
He watched me handling his son with a grin on his face. I kept my eyes on the baby because he was so damn cute laying up in my arms.