by KC Mills
I glanced across the room at Anj, who was balled up in one of the chairs asleep. Her drunk and high ass had pissed me off beyond explanation. I wouldn't even let her deal with the doctors because her dumb ass smelled like weed. What kind of shit is that? It was just embarrassing, but I had a trick for her ass. When Hari was released, he was going home with me. For how long, I didn't know, but I needed her to understand that this was unacceptable and was not going to happen again.
“What’s up, Jock? He good?” I glanced at the door when I heard Siah’s voice. He stepped inside looking just as concerned as I was. His eyes moved around the room and landed on Anj before he was back to me again.
“Yeah, for now. They don't know what the hell happened. Some type of virus and shit, but he’s good. Fever’s down and he’s finally asleep. Cried for like three hours straight, though.”
Siah looked over his shoulder and then back at me.
“I have Nonie and Kizzie with me. I told them to wait outside, though.”
“Fuck her, they’re good, they can come in,” I said, glancing at Anj. “Her dumb ass was drinking and smoking instead of handling her business. Maybe she needs to see another women deal with her son, ’cause if she don't get her shit together then you can just call Kizzie Mama Kiz.” I laughed.
“Nigga, you dumb as fuck. You can't just make Kizzie raise your seed.”
“I don't have make her do shit. She’s already in love with his little ass. You know Hari be pulling ’em like his pops.”
I grinned, thinking about how Kizzie had just took to him. It was sexy as fuck watching her do it too. I didn't get that feeling from Anj, because I hated her ass, but with Kizzie it was different. It made me want to plant a hundred more in her so that we would be in that shit for real.
“I'm not fucking with you like that, but hold up.”
Siah stepped out the room and then returned a few minutes later with Nonie and Kizzie. Kizzie eyed Anj, looked right at me and then reached for Hari. I lifted him from my chest, careful of his IV, and handed him over. I didn't really care if Anj had a problem with it or not, and I knew she was going to have one. In her delusional mind, we were a family, no matter how many times I told her I didn't want shit to do with her that wasn't connected to our son.
“Aww, he looks so pitiful,” Kizzie said, poking her lips out just before she kissed his little face. He balled up in her arms, but didn't wake up.
“He’s good now,” I assured her.
Nonie walked over and hugged me. My sis looked so sad, but it was cute though. “I’m sorry he’s not feeling well, Jock.”
“Don't sweat it, Pretty. He’s good now since his step mom is here.”
Kizze looked up at me and rolled her eyes just as I heard Anj’s voice.
“Who is this holding my son, Jock?”
Nonie and Kizzie both turned at the same time and Siah mumbled, “Here we fucking go.”
“My business is who the fuck it is. Don't worry about it.” I snapped, causing Anj to look at me like I was crazy.
“Can I have my son, please?” she asked, looking right at Kizzie, who I could tell was annoyed.
“Nah, he good. In fact, why don't you head home and clean your ass up first. Then you can come back and see him,” I said to Anj, which really pissed her off.
“Jock, really. I’m not leaving my son here with them.” She pointed at Kizzie and Nonie, which made them both snicker.
Neither of them were the type to tolerate disrespect, and I knew shit could get bad real quick. Siah did too, so his arm moved around Nonie’s waist, pulling her back against him.
“Stay out of it, Pretty,” he said calmly.
“Yes, really.” I reached in my pocket and pulled out my phone to make a call.
“Yo, head up to Memorial. Anj will be out front waiting. Take her to her crib for me. Aight, bet.”
“Let's go.” I lifted her purse from the cart by the door and grabbed her arm. “I’ll be right back. Keep an eye on him for me.” I winked at Kizzie who shook her head and then looked down at Jahari.
Once we were in the hall, Anj spoke up. “Jock, that’s so disrespectful. Are you fucking her? Is that why she’s holding my son like he belongs to her? I can't believe you would treat me like that.”
I stopped dead in my tracks because she was getting loud and drawing an audience. I didn't like that loud ghetto shit, so I pulled her to me and spoke calmly.
“Who I’m fucking is none of your concern, because it ain't you. You are my son’s mother and I respect you for that, but after this shit you pulled, even that's questionable. If I trust Kizzie to be around my son, then you trust her too. Like it or not, it's my call. Now let's go so you can take your ass home and get your shit together and spend some time with your son before I take him home. And trust me, your got damn sister better be on her way real fucking soon. Are we clear?”
She looked at me and nodded. Tears were building in her eyes but she didn't let them fall. She knew she was wrong, and I didn't care what the hell she thought at this point. My life, my business. Outside of Jahari, I had no conversation for Anj and she knew that.
“So, I guess that was the baby mama,” Kizzie said the second I walked back into my son’s room. “She’s cute or whatever.”
“She ain't you, though,” I said as I stepped closer to her and kissed her on the neck. She shrugged me off and looked down at my son, who was still in her arms.
“Jock, don't have that trick coming for my girl ’cause you know we don't play that,” Nonie said from across the room. She was sitting on one of Siah's legs, leaning back against his chest. These two swear they were just kicking it, but they asses were all in love and in denial about it.
“Man, chill with all that. Anj knows her lane and she better stay the fuck in it. All she is to me is his mother and that’s it. She don't have no say in who my girl is.”
“Your girl?” Nonie said with a smirk. “Dang what I miss?”
“Not a got damn thing, Jock isn't my man. Red—”
I turned to Kizzie so quick to it made her little ass jump. “Don't make me fuck you up in here. You holding my son and about to say some bullshit like that. Don't even, I mean that, Kiz.”
She rolled her eyes at me and Siah chuckled. “Both your asses need counseling. This some dysfunctional type shit,” he said
“Nigga please, I know you not talking.” I looked right at him and he shot me a bird.
We all chilled for a while longer before Siah and Nonie decided to head out. I convinced Kizzie to stay with me after I promised to get her home later. Jahari had to stay overnight, but I planned to head out when Anj got back so that I could get Kizzie home. But then I was coming right back to stay the night with my son. Hopefully, I could convince Kizzie to stay with me. If so, then Anj could stay or take her ass home. Either way, I didn't care. She was on a short list with me, and I was daring her to try me.
Kizzie
I knew that Jock was pissed because I wasn't going back to the hospital with him, but I had already made plans to stay with Red. This juggling was getting exhausting, especially since Jock kept pressing me about spending time with Red. It was pissing him off, but honestly I just couldn’t quite make up my mind about what I wanted.
“Let me ask you something.” Jock shut off his car and his eyes were on me in a way that had me feeling nervous.
“What?” I sassed trying not to seem fazed by the intense stare he held on me.
“If you know that nigga is cheating on you, then why you still fucking with him?”
“I don't know anything, and why does that matter to you? Don't you have a whole situation that you need to be dealing with?”
The way Jock’s eyes met mine, I knew that he was pissed. But he was always calm, even when I knew he was on the verge of a massive explosion, like right now.
“So you don't trust your girl then? You think Nonie would lie to you? If I’m not mistaken, she saw that nigga with her own two eyes. This isn't some he said, she sai
d shit, Kiz.”
“I believe her, but I at least owe him the benefit of explaining. It's not like I really have room to talk.
“So you haven't even fronted him about it?” Jock laughed sarcastically and then gripped his steering wheel, which I knew he was doing to remain calm.
“No, not yet. I’m just giving it a minute.”
“For what, Kiz? That shit sounds dumb as fuck.”
“Because I don’t know what to do, I don't know what I want, and so what if I don't? You have your own issues to deal with. It's not like I’m the only one you’re dealing with, so what makes you any different from him?”
“If you mean Anj, then fuck her. Did I treat you any different while you were there? Who the fuck did I send home, Kiz? Who the fuck am I with right now? She don't mean shit to me. In fact, all we are is a fucked up situation that gave me my son. I love my son, but I don't feel shit for her. I have to deal with her because of Jahari, but that’s where it begins and ends. So don't act like that shit matters because you know it don't. As for any other female I’m fucking, that's on you. If you figure out what the fuck you want, I’ll let all that shit go, but nah, your ass wanna play and be all confused and shit.
“You know what, how about this? I’ll step back and you can do your own thing. If you figure that shit out, let me know, but don't expect me to sit around waiting on your indecisive ass to get your head right.”
“You don't have to be an ass about it, Jock,” I snapped.
“I’m not being an ass, Kiz, I’m being honest. But check it, I need to go see about my son, so have fun, and I hope that nigga gets you right.”
I couldn't believe how Jock was acting. I mean, this was supposed to be no strings attached and now here he is acting like I was breaking the rules. He knew about Red when we got together, so why was it a big deal now?
“Kiz, I have to go, shorty.”
He nodded to my door, which I opened and got out. I stood there for a minute, wanting to say something else, but I didn't know what, so I just shut his door and he backed out of my driveway, driving like a mad man. The second he hit the corner, my heart sank. I didn't know what was next, but I had to figure it out.
Once I was inside my house, I stripped out of my clothes and got ready to shower, but I needed to talk to my girl first. I placed my phone on speaker and strutted around my room in my bra and panties while I got my clothes ready for my date with Red.
“What’s up, Kiz? I thought you were still at the hospital,” Nonie said after she answered.
“Nope, just got home, and your boy is on one.”
“Who, Jock?”
“Yep.” I sighed while I scanned my closet.
“What he do?”
“He was all over me with the, ‘make up your mind, Kiz, why you still fucking with Red if he cheating on you?’ He had the nerve to say he wasn't fucking with me until I made up my mind.”
Nonie laughed for what seemed like forever until I put an end to it.
“Um hoe, why are you laughing? This isn't funny. It's my life.”
“It is funny, Kizzie, and you know it. I’m with Jock, why you keep playing with that man like that? He got you all up in the hospital holding his son, with that trick right there like she didn't exist. He sent her ass home just to chill with you, and now you're sitting here crying about you don't know what his problem is. Come on, Kiz, grow up. That nigga got goo goo eyes for you. He’s in love, boo.”
I laughed at the fact that this hoe said goo goo eyes. It was lame as fuck, but it made me smile. “You stupid, you know that, right? And Jock doesn't love me, he just wants what he can't have. The second I say okay we’re in this, I’m old news and he’s fucking everything with open legs. You know how that goes.”
“You don't know that, boo. Jock doesn't seem like the type to me. I mean he gets it, but on the low. He don't ever have females on his arm, and honestly I think that's out of respect for you. Hell, Siah doesn’t even do that. He’ll be up in my face damn near dry humping a bitch while he’s eye fucking me, so at least you got that.”
“That don't mean he won't play me, Nonie, it just means he’s good at hiding it. As for Siah, you know you can shut that down anytime you want. If he’s doing something you don't like and you call him on that shit, he’ll send them hoes on their merry little way. You just don’t check him about it.”
“Why should I? I can't tell him how to live his life, and if he can't make that call on his own, then what I look like trying to check him about it? It's not my place because he—”
“Isn't my man… Yeah, yeah, yeah you say that shit, but we both know you don't mean it, and it damn sure isn't true,” I said, cutting her off.
“Whatever, hoe. This ain't about me, it’s about you, and I’ll tell you like this, you keep playing around with Jock and he’s gonna walk, Kiz. Do you really want that? I’m with him. Make up your mind.”
“I will if you will, but I have to go. I’m supposed to meet Red in like an hour.”
“Have fun with that. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow. We have to start planning the event for Laken.”
“You told Siah about that yet?”
“No and I’m not going to. It's just business. It doesn't have anything to do with what he has going on.”
I laughed. “You’re hosting a party for a nigga you know is out for Siah, and you don't think it has anything to do with him? Yeah, okay. Let me sit back and see how that works out, especially when Siah sees how Laken is all over you.”
“Girl, let me worry about that. You just worry about your situation,” Nonie said, sucking her teeth.
“Yeah hoe, you ’bout to get both of us fucked up in the game and you know it, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Nonie laughed and I hung up on her. I knew this was about to go all kinds of wrong, but it was her call. Laken was paying us a hundred grand, not including what it was going to cost for the event. So money was money. I figured I’d let Nonie handle Siah.
It was common knowledge that Laken didn't like Siah. He wanted to be Siah, but that wasn't happening. He was big in New York and trying to spread his wings into Jersey, but Siah owned Jersey and wasn't about to let that shit go for anybody. On top of that, Laken wanted Nonie and bad. She wasn't messing with him like that, but she did flirt a little. How could she not? Laken was fine as fuck, and paid too. Problem was, he wasn't shit and she knew it, and Siah would kill him.
At our first meeting he brought his girl, but ignored her ass while he sat there begging Nonie to hook up with him. Her dumb ass just sat there watching like a good little girl. Laken had her trained and trained well. I would have cut his ass for disrespecting me like that. Oh well, to each, his own. For now, I wasn't about to worry about that. I had to focus on my night with Red and get my own life together.
*****
“Damn, baby, you wearing that dress.” Red’s tongue glided across his lips before his hands moved down my body. After he was satisfied, he shut my car door and took my hand to lead me to the restaurant where we were having dinner.
I had to admit, I looked good as hell. My strapless black dress hugged my thick frame, showing off all of my assets and stopped mid-thigh. Just enough for a tease, but keeping me out of slut mode. My baby was looking equally pleasing in his dark denim jeans, Hermes sneakers and matching black polo. He matched my fly without even trying. His locks were freshly done as always, in three fishtail braids that hit right at his shoulders.
After we were seated, me next to him at our table, his hand gripped my thigh while I looked around and then back at him.
“It feels like forever since we chilled like this, Kiz. I miss your fine ass on the real. I’ve been working so damn hard, it feels good to just relax and kick it with you.”
“I missed you too,” I said, smiling at his handsome face.
This man was so damn sexy to me, I couldn't hardly stand it. What I didn't understand was why the entire time I was sitting there with him, my mind was on Jock.
&n
bsp; “You’re staying with me tonight, right?” Red asked, bringing my attention back to him.
“Yes, baby. We have some lost time to make up for.”
Red leaned in and kissed my cheek. I smiled. That was enough for me to temporarily let go of Jock. I just hoped I'd be able to maintain that and focus on Red. Maybe my mind was already made up and I was just fighting against it.
Dinner went smoothly, aside from the fact that Red kept taking business calls, but all in all I was glad to get caught up with him. He annoyed me with all that phone action, but I knew he had things to take care of, and I knew it was business because he stayed right there at the table with me each time he took a call.
Other than that, things were good. Now that we were back at his place, I was ready to feel him inside of me. There was just something about the way Red put it down that had me flowing like a river. It had been a few days since I’d been with him or Jock, and I needed my fix. I swear I was addicted to sex in the worst way.
Jock and Red both loved that about me because I never got tired. They usually tapped out before I did, but I was good as long as I got mine at least a few times before they were done.
“Take this off, Kiz, and get up there for me. I need to make this call real quick, and then I’m shutting this shit off for the rest of the night. I’m about to be up in you on some realness.”
Red kissed me so deep, letting his hand find the zipper to my dress and moving it down my back until my dress fell enough to slide down just a little, exposing my bare breasts.
“You so got damn sexy,” he said after he released our kiss and stepped back to take in my appearance.
I worked my dress down the rest of my body and stepped out of it while he watched. When I was done, I was standing before him in only a black lace thong, that I slid my hand into and let my fingers enter me.