by Sarah Bale
Denver began pacing in the ring. “Is that so? Because from where I’m standing it looks like you’re hallucinating.” He cupped his hand to his ear. “And I’m certain it’s not your name the fans are yelling.”
The fans took their cue and began chanting Denver’s name. Then the chants turned into “Mesquite sucks,” clap, clap, clap. Denver’s lips twitched as he caught my gaze. I winked at him. He was doing so well!
Mesquite said, “Shut up, all of you! You don’t know what’s good for you. But at the next pay-per- view you’ll find out.”
“You’re all mouth and no trouser,” Denver replied with a sneer.
Mesquite made his way to the ring and stood outside of it. Denver sat on the second rope, inviting him in, but Mesquite glared instead of taking the offer.
“I’m glad you think this is funny, boy, because I’m coming for you. And I’m going to get everything that’s mine.”
He threw down the microphone. Just as he was about to leave he caught me staring at him. I could see it in his eyes. He meant more than the belt. He was coming for me, too.
The crowd began to boo even louder as he flexed and then went backstage. Denver waited a moment and then hopped on the top turnbuckle.
“I’m not going to let this beauty go without a fight,” he yelled and then held the belt high.
The booing turned back into cheers. Everyone was on their feet and I joined them. Denver jumped out of the ring and began making his way around. When he got to me he kissed me on the top of the head before moving down the line.
A fan behind me said, “You’re so lucky!”
I smiled at her, but I couldn’t stop the dread I felt. What if I was making the wrong choice? What then?
January 1
We didn’t get back to the hotel until after midnight. The lobby was full with New Year’s Eve partygoers and we were invited to at least four different rooms to celebrate. Denver just shook his head and led me to the elevator. Inside, he kissed me until we reached our floor.
He broke the kiss by saying, “I want to do so much more to you, but we need to talk. Especially after what just happened.”
“Was that scripted?”
I meant the interaction with Mesquite.
He nodded as we entered our room. “They changed it last minute and didn’t tell me. I had a feeling something was up, though. Why else would he be here?”
“You played it off well.”
“Thanks.” He went to the bottle of champagne and opened it, pouring us each a glass. Raising his glass, he said, “To a new year and a fresh start.”
I lifted mine. “To people who change your life in the very best way possible.”
We toasted and sipped our drinks. The bubbles tickled my nose, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment by speaking.
Finally, Denver said, “Well, are we ready to do this?”
“Why does it feel like the outcome is already decided?”
His lips lifted into a half smile. “Because it was decided before we even began. Jamie, I’m not blind. You’re not over him. You never were. And that’s okay. But it also means we can’t continue to see each other because all I do is fall more in love with you.”
He was going to break my heart.
“Denver—”
“It’s okay. I knew what I was getting in to. I just thought we’d have more time to figure things out. Sure, you might love him, but maybe you could love me, too. I know now that’s not an option. Fate, or the higher powers, have other things in store for both of us.”
A tear slid down my cheek. “I never meant to lead you on.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want this to end.”
“But it can’t go forward until you and Mesquite figure out what you’re doing. I won’t be your second choice. You would never love me and I would resent you. I don’t want to resent you.”
“What do we do now?”
He pulled me close and I nestled against his neck.
“Tonight? Tonight we pretend like there’s no tomorrow. And tomorrow we’ll go from there.”
He led me to the bed and began to undress. Tonight I was more than willing to play pretend. And tomorrow? Well, who knew what would happen then?
January 5
I still hadn’t heard from Denver and it hurt. The last few days had been hell, but not as much as when Mesquite had left me which said more than I wanted to admit.
January 8
I saw LaTonya and Richmond today. Richmond was getting around so much better. He told me in mock whisper that he didn’t even need his crutches anymore. He and LaTonya seemed so happy, too. When he stepped out of the room she grabbed my hand.
“I think he’s going to propose! I saw a ring in his side of the closet.”
“That’s great!”
I hugged my friend, meaning it.
“Thank you. I know it’s awful to say, but his injury has been the best thing to happen to us. He’s even talking about taking on a lighter work schedule if they’ll let him.”
I was reminded of a time when Mesquite had offered to do the same thing to be with me and frowned.
“Why are you frowning? This is good news.”
“Oh, I was thinking about something else. I’m sorry. You’re right, this is good news.”
She watched me for a moment. “Were you thinking about Mesquite or Denver? Or both?”
“As much as I hate to admit it I was thinking about Mesquite. He offered to work less so we could spend time together right before all hell broke loose.”
“Ah.”
“What does that mean?”
“Have you talked to him?”
“No…”
“Is Denver still avoiding you?”
I nodded. “He said I have to figure out what I’m doing with Mesquite.”
“You do, Jamie. It’s not fair to anyone if you don’t. And who knows, maybe once you talk to Mesquite you’ll realize that whatever you felt for him is gone.”
I looked down at my hands. “I’m afraid that when I talk to him I’ll be right back where I was before. Our relationship happened so fast and I felt like I couldn’t stop it from happening even if I wanted to. What do I do if that happens again?”
That was the first time I’d admitted that part aloud. I couldn’t have fought our attraction if I’d wanted to. Then, I was a willing victim. Now? Now I was scared our relationship would consume me and spit out what was left when it was over.
“You’ll never know if you don’t talk to him. Maybe you will get back together like nothing happened. Maybe you won’t. Either way you owe it to yourself to find out.”
January 9
I caught wrestling on TV tonight. Mesquite was in the ring doing another promo. He was made to be a heel – the fans reacted to him being the bad guy more than they ever did when he was good. His cocky personality probably had a lot to do with it.
He said into the camera, “Now I know a lot of you sitting on your couches don’t understand why I’m getting a title shot. It’s simple really. It’s in my rematch clause.”
The crowd booed.
He made a crying sound and then went on, “Shut up, you babies. I don’t care what you think. All I care about is getting that belt back. And, as I said, it all boils down to my rematch clause. Unfortunately I don’t get to face Richmond, who is a worthy opponent… unlike Denver.”
Denver’s music cued and tears filled my eyes. He looked tired. My poor Denver.
“Now Mesquite, I don’t know who you’re trying to fool. You had months to use the rematch clause. Why did you wait until Richmond was hurt?” Denver scratched his head. “In fact, I’ve been looking in to things. Richmond’s accident was convenient. Maybe you had something to do with that…”
Footage began to play of a backstage segment where a masked man attacked Richmond. It was, of course, staged, but I had to wonder if Richmond’s recovery was going well enough for him to be traveling.
Mesquite glared. “You can’
t prove anything, boy.”
“You’re right. And I don’t need to prove anything. I accept your rematch challenge.”
He got into the ring with Mesquite and the fans went wild.
“And I will be leaving with the belt.”
Mesquite threw down his microphone and the two began fighting. I turned the TV off, having seen enough.
January 10
I almost called Denver today just to hear his voice. Instead, I hung up. When my phone dinged a moment later I just knew it was him.
I was wrong.
Mesquite: Jamie, are you ever going to answer me?
Me: I really don’t see the point.
I was a liar.
Mesquite: I called things off with my ex.
Me: I heard.
Mesquite: And I heard something that gives me hope
I didn’t reply. Instead, I turned my phone off and looked at the live events schedule on my laptop. I missed Denver, damn it. And I wanted to see him.
Liar. You want to see Mesquite, too.
Well shit.
January 15
Lexington, Kentucky looked like a winter wonderland as I landed. Thankfully I also had work in the area, so I’d have something to keep my mind occupied. It would have been hard to ask for more days off since I’d just had a vacation. Ha. Vacation- that was a joke. Sure the first part had been nice, but then all hell broke loose.
As I got my bags I felt a twinge of sadness. There was no one meeting me since no one knew I was there. I hadn’t even told LaTonya because I didn’t want her to slip up and mention it to anyone. Shivering, I made my way outside to the car rental pickup area. I laughed at the tiny car I was given. There was no way a big, beefy wrestler could fit in something that size.
At first I thought about staying at a different hotel than the one the wrestlers would be at, but I changed my mind. I was there because I needed to see Denver. It’d be dumb to stay somewhere else. I drove on the snow-covered streets, only sliding a few times.
The hotel was fairly quiet. I wasn’t sure if it was because most of the wrestlers had already left for the arena or if it was because it was a workday for most people. A few dedicated fans sat in the lobby and looked my way as I checked in.
In my room I showered and changed into my outfit for the night. Should I text Denver or not? That was the big decision to make. Taking the cowardly route, I decided to wait until after the show. If he hadn’t seen me by that point, then I’d text.
I took a cab to the arena and found my seat inside. I bought a ringside seat and it was the first time in too long that my ticket hadn’t been complimentary. It was strange. I noticed one of the security guards looking at me as he talked into his headset. Shit. This had happened before, but last time was with Mesquite. Who was the guard talking to this time?
He came up to me and squatted in front of me.
“I’m supposed to give you a message.”
“Yes?”
“Denver doesn’t want you here. He’s asking that you leave.”
I didn’t doubt this man’s word. Part of his job was making sure the wrestlers were taken care of. And sometimes that meant asking an ex to leave. I stood, feeling my cheeks flame.
“Ma’am. I am sorry.”
I didn’t respond, but left before I started crying. When I was safely in my room I let a few tears fall before calming myself down. There was still time to see him. I knew Denver – he’d be in the bar after the show.
I waited until I was sure the wrestlers would be arriving and went to the lobby. Sure enough, I saw familiar faces. I went to the bar and stopped. My eyes went to the one person I didn’t want to see. Mesquite sat at the bar by himself, looking lonely.
I was taken back to the moment when we’d first met. He had asked me to meet him at the bar and we ended up talking until last call. Tonight wouldn’t have the same outcome, though. I saw Denver sitting on the opposite side of the room and walked to him.
I could tell right away that he’d been drinking for a while.
“You really here or am I dreaming?” Alcohol made his accent thick and his words slur.
I sat. “I’m here. Denver--”
“You should leave, Jamie. I’ve got no love left in me tonight.”
“Denver--”
“No, it’s fine. You made your choice. I don’t agree with it, but it’s your choice to make and I’d never settle for being number two.”
His words stung, as I’m sure he intended. And maybe I deserved it. He reached for his glass, but I took it from him and finished the contents. The vodka burned my throat and I grimaced. Standing, I held out my hand.
“What?”
“Come on Denver. You need to go to bed.”
He huffed, but stood. I was aware that people watched as we left, but I didn’t care. Denver leaned heavily against me and I was having a hard time guiding us to the elevators.
“Here, let me help.”
I glanced over my shoulder and my stomach fluttered. Of course, it was fucking Mesquite.
He went to the other side and maneuvered Denver, bearing most of his weight.
“Thanks, asshole,” Denver muttered.
I held back a laugh and pushed the button for the elevator. We waited in silence because, really, what could the three of us talk about? The thought made me cringe.
“Are you in the same room?”
I shook my head. “No. But we can go to my room.”
His eyes lit up, but I chose not to acknowledge it.
“My room is bigger.”
I waited for Denver to protest and realized he’d passed out.
Not in the mood to argue I said, “Fine.”
We went to the top floor, of course, and Mesquite told me the room number.
“The key is in my pocket.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes and reached into his front pocket. Hello.
He coughed. “Um. That’s not a key. And it’s the other pocket.”
Kill me now. I reached into his other pocket and pulled the key out. Mesquite’s lips twitched, as he tried not to laugh. I unlocked the door and held it open. He was right. His room was much bigger than mine. He got Denver on the bed and tossed a blanket over him.
I hoped Denver would awaken, but he didn’t. Mesquite nodded his head toward the door and I found myself walking from the room. We got into the elevator and stood on opposite sides as if we were afraid to get too close to each other. The electricity that always surrounded us still seemed to buzz, but I ignored it.
“Jamie, why won’t you look at me?”
His question took me by surprise and I met his gaze.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve barely looked at me.”
“We were busy.”
“No. Don’t lie to me.”
I sighed. “Fine. I don’t know why I won’t look at you. Okay? Is that good enough?”
We reached my room and I opened the door. Was I crazy for even letting him in? Our history with hotel rooms suggested maybe I was.
He sat in a chair and I was glad. I didn’t want him to sit on the bed because that meant I’d have to sit next to him and beds definitely weren’t a good idea.
“I have an idea as to why you won’t look at me.”
I sat in the chair opposite of his and replied, “Oh, I’m sure this will be good.”
“Is it because you still have feelings for me?”
“Mesquite, feelings were never an issue between us. It was everything else.”
“No, that’s not true. We were fine until I asked you to move in with me. That’s when everything fell apart. I think back to that moment often and wonder what in the hell I could have done to change the outcome.”
His admission made my heart ache. I thought about that moment, too. When he offered me the world and I ran.
“You’re right. That is when everything changed.”
“Why?”
“We were moving too fast-”
“Bullshit. It
was everything we both wanted.”
“That might be true, but it was still too fast. Did we even really know each other?” I shrugged. “And then you got back with your ex and anything I thought I knew about you went out the window.”
He had the decency to blush. “I am sorry about that. You might not believe me, but it’s the truth. That was a low point for me and I did things I’m not proud of. Getting back with her was on a list of bad choices I made.”
“You aren’t the only one. I messed up, too,” I admitted with a sigh.
“With Denver?”
“No. He wasn’t a mistake. He was everything I needed.”
“Then why aren’t you together?”
The question hung in the air between us. It was time for the truth.
“Because he thinks you and I have unfinished business.”
“And do we?”
I nodded. “I think we do.”
He watched me for a moment and I wondered what he was thinking.
“I’ve wanted to hear you say that for a while now.”
“Why?”
“Because I think we have unfinished business, too. And… I’ve missed you.”
Hearing him say those words made my eyes water.
“But I want to do it right this time. We need to take things slow this time.”
I laughed before I could stop. “That’s going to be like trying to stop a tornado, Mesquite.”
He chuckled, too, a sound I’d missed.
“You’re right. But we owe it to ourselves to at least try.”
“So… What now?”
That was the million-dollar question. Denver had been right. Mesquite and I still had a lot of things to figure out. And part of that would eventually involve Denver himself.
Mesquite smiled. “For now I will bid you goodnight. And tomorrow, if I’m lucky, you’ll let me escort you to brunch.”
“Brunch? Like a date?”
He nodded. I could handle that.
“It’s a date then.”
It was a start.
At the door, Mesquite stopped. “Goodnight, Jamie.”
“Goodnight, Angel Eyes.”
I closed the door at his surprised look and smiled. For the first time in months I finally felt free. My phone buzzed and I went to check it.