If You Were Mine

by Jennifer Sucevic

  I just know that I need to get to her.

  I’m all too aware of the fact that Claire wouldn’t have called me unless there were absolutely no other options available to her. I had to be dead last on her phone-a-friend list. Maybe I should have asked a few more questions when I had her on the line, but all I could think about was jumping into the car and getting to her.

  Making sure she was safe.

  With the way I’m driving, it takes about ten minute for me to find the college. I glance at the GPS. Should be turning onto the street she gave me in a minute or so. I take two more turns before slowing my Porsche to a crawl. There are a ton of students milling around. Clearly, there’s a party in progress. Actually, there look to be quite a few of them. Drunken students continue to spill out onto the front lawns and are walking in large groups on the sidewalks.

  I keep my eyes on the addresses, although I’m willing to bet that it’s the big white house with the Greek letters displayed prominently on the front. Seems like most of the people are pouring out of there.

  Even though my eyes are slowly sweeping the area, I don’t see Claire anywhere. I’m just about to reach for my cell when I catch a glimpse of long dark hair. My brows jerk together because her boyfriend has his hands on her. I don’t even bother parking the car along the side of the street, although there doesn’t appear to be any spaces for at least a block. I hit the hazards before turning off the engine, and then I’m out of the car, barreling towards her.

  It aggravates me to no end to see him manhandling her like that. The look plastered across her face only pisses me off more. Clearly, something happened between them. As soon as I’m close enough, I rip his hands off her body. It takes everything I have inside not to throw a punch. But I don’t. I keep it contained.

  Although, I’m not going to lie, it’s hard.

  “What the fuck, dude?”

  As soon as his eyes land on me, something instantly changes in his face. Although this has to be the first time he doesn’t look overjoyed to see me. Right away, his narrowed gaze slices back to Claire.

  “You called him?”

  Not looking cowed in the least, she straightens her shoulders. “Yeah, I need a ride home.”

  “I said I’d drive you.” His hands fist impotently at his sides. I can tell that he wants to grab Claire again but won’t because I’m now standing next to her. And he sure as hell isn’t going to try getting in my face. Although I would dearly love for him to try. I almost smile at the thought.

  “I don’t want to be alone with you right now.”

  That comment has my eyes narrowing. Because he must have pulled some real crap for Claire to say that.

  For her to call me.

  “Claire,” he gives me a side eye before whining in a lower pitched voice, “come on. I already apologized. Can’t you just let it go?”

  “No.” Abruptly she dismisses him before turning those big gray eyes on me. “Can we get out of here, please?”

  She doesn’t need to ask twice.

  “Absolutely.”

  I wrap my arms around her just in case Jackwad gets it in his mind to try and stop her. He’ll have to go through me to do it. I have no idea what happened between the two of them, but I plan on finding out as soon as I have her tucked safely inside my car.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, Claire.”

  “Don’t bother.” She tosses the words coldly over her shoulder. “I told you before that we were through and I meant it.”

  His lips flatten as he continues glaring but smartly doesn’t open his yap to say anything more. I lead Claire to my car before opening the front passenger door and helping her inside. Then I’m jogging around the hood before sliding in beside her. Within seconds, we’re taking off down the tree-lined streets near campus.

  Having her sit next to me has everything that had once been strung tight instantly loosening. I glance over at her, but she doesn’t say a word. Her lips are pressed firmly together as she stares out the windshield.

  Clearing my throat, I finally ask, “Are you alright?”

  Even though I’m not sure where I’m going, I just keep driving. I want to get her as far away from here as I can. As far away from that knucklehead as possible on the off chance she changes her mind. Although quite honestly, Claire doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl to flip-flop on a decision.

  Whatever he did, it pissed her off.

  For a long moment, she doesn’t say a word before finally turning her head just a bit and staring at me. “I’m fine.” Her shoulders slump with that soft admission.

  All I really want to do is pull the car over before tugging her into my arms. I want to comfort her, but I don’t think that will go over very well, so I keep my hands to myself.

  “Something happened with,” I pause, unable to remember his name, “your boyfriend?” I’m sure that referring to him as “Jackwad” will only aggravate her. And I don’t want to do that.

  “He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

  Yup, that has most definitely been noted.

  Glancing over, my gaze spears hers again. “Did he hurt you, Claire?” My voice is dangerously low. Rough. Because if that’s what happened, I’ll be turning this car around right now and going back to break both his goddamn legs.

  Again her eyes slice to mine before she slowly shakes her head. “No.”

  “Are you sure?” For some reason, I don’t quite believe her. There’s an odd look filling her eyes that I’m having a hard time deciphering.

  “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  Even though she doesn’t seem very forthcoming with information, I ask, “Did you have an argument?”

  “No.”

  Before I can drill her with another question, she sighs, “Look, I really appreciate you picking me up, but I don’t want to talk about this right now.” All of a sudden she looks exhausted by everything that’s happened tonight. “Do you mind if we just drive?”

  Fine.

  I’ll stop pushing.

  But at some point, she’s going to tell me exactly what went down between the two of them. She’s the one who pulled me into this by calling for a ride.

  After a couple of miles, I realize that we’re heading back to my place. Or Liam’s. Since we both live in the same sub. Maybe I should drop her off there. I don’t really want to take her back to her apartment. Who knows if that asswipe will show up at two o’clock in the morning all wasted and wanting to work things out. If Claire were mine, there’s no way I would let her go without one hell of a fight.

  As we roll up to the gate, I give the guard a nod before he silently waves me through.

  “Should I drop you off at your brother’s house?” Maybe she needs to talk with Gia. Or Liam. Although I still don’t understand why she just didn’t call them in the first place.

  Looking indecisive, she bites down on her lower lip before slowly shaking her head. “I probably should have just had you drop me off at my place.” Lifting her fingers, she rubs her temples as if there’s a headache brewing behind them. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  I’m not sure how this is going to go over, but I say the words anyway. “You want to hang out at my place for a bit?” The best I can come up with is, “We could watch a movie.”

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  I shake my head. “Nah, I wasn’t doing anything.”

  She snorts. It really is the cutest sound imaginable.

  “That’s twice now that you haven’t been doing anything on a weekend. Have I somehow become trapped in a parallel universe? One where nothing makes any sense?”

  I shoot her a smirk. “I told you- I’m trying to lay low. No more parties. No more drinking. No more women. No more fights. No more bad press. Welcome to the new JT Higgins.”

  She makes a little noise at the back of her throat as if she’s not one hundred percent convinced that I’ve turned over a new leaf. “You must be extremely bored. Aren’t those all your favorite vices?”

  I chuckle
because she’s absolutely right. I definitely have a checkered past.

  Blowing out a long breath, I take a few moments to consider her words. “I really don’t miss it.”

  Without all those other distractions taking up my time, I’ve discovered that I don’t have anything better to do other than work out. Which is precisely why I’m in the best shape of my life right now. I’m lifting at least two hours a day and running on the trails through the woods out back. I’m also swimming in my pool. Plus, it’s kind of lonely at my house, so I find myself showing up at Liam’s door more often than not.

  Which allows me to see Claire. I’m finding that the more I’m around her, the more drawn to her I feel.

  Clicking the garage door opener, I roll my Porsche slowly inside. We both exit the car at the same time before going through the door that leads into the mudroom. Claire toes off her shoes before we head into the massive kitchen. Flicking on a light, I watch as her eyes travel slowly around the room. I don’t even realize that I’m holding my breath, waiting for her reaction until she says, “It’s nice.”

  The floor plan is very similar to Liam’s, but there are a few subtle differences. With the finished basement, I have about seventy-five hundred square feet. It’s a lot of house for just one person. I wasn’t really thinking about that when I bought the place.

  Honestly, it was the heated pool out back and the amount of land that sold me on it. I wanted my own space. Plus… I love to swim. Now I can do it any damn time I want. And it’s private. No one is going to bother me when I’m trying to get a workout in. Not to mention that it’s heated so I was able to open it in April and will probably close it down for the winter in late October.

  “Are you hungry? Want something to drink?”

  “Sure, I’ll take a water.”

  I walk over to the massive fridge. The face looks like cabinetry, blending with the rest of the dark cherry wood in the kitchen. I pull two bottles from the shelf before handing one over.

  “Thanks.”

  Still looking subdued, she twists off the cap before taking a long swig.

  I can’t help but silently watch her as she does. I’m not used to seeing Claire like this. She’s either ignoring me or shooting darts at me with her eyes. And she’s usually perfectly put together. Not just clothes-wise, but her entire person. The way she conducts herself. She seems to know what she wants out of life and exactly how she’s going to achieve it.

  She also sees right through my bullshit.

  She’s not bowled over by my careless smiles or my status as a professional athlete. Maybe that’s because her brother is one as well. Although, I kind of don’t think that’s the reason. Claire just doesn’t seem overly impressed with that kind of thing. She’s not into hanging out with the wives or girlfriends. Nor have I ever seen her flirting with the players. I can’t say that I don’t like that about her.

  But tonight is different.

  Claire seems almost… vulnerable. Unsure of herself. A little lost maybe. It pisses me off that her boyfriend did something to leave her feeling this way. That he has shaken the confidence she normally exudes. And it pisses me off even more that she won’t tell me what happened.

  Even though I don’t want her leaving, I need to do what’s best for Claire. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to your brother’s house?” I shift uncomfortably before adding, “Maybe talk to Gia or something.”

  I glance at the clock on the microwave only now realizing that it’s after eleven. I guess everyone is probably sleeping over there.

  The moment those words are out of my mouth, her entire body stiffens. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “No!” Unsure what to say or how to proceed in this type of situation, I run my hand through my hair. “That’s not what I meant at all.” More than anything, I want her to stay with me. “It’s just that I can tell something’s wrong and you don’t want to talk to me about it. I’m just trying to make sure you’re okay. That’s it.”

  Glancing away, Claire slowly pads over to the French doors that line the wall overlooking the pool. When she simply stands there, staring out into the velvety darkness, I move quietly beside her.

  After a long moment, she finally admits, “I was going to sleep with him tomorrow. I had it all planned out.”

  Something in my heart clenches.

  Not once does she glance my way. Only continues staring out into the night. Like Liam’s yard, mine butts up to the nature preserve. I have woods in the back and to a small extent on the sides to give me extra privacy from the neighboring estates.

  She rubs her forehead with one hand before continuing quietly as if she’s muttering to herself, “He said he had something for me, so we went up to his room.” As if remembering me next to her, her eyes finally dart towards mine. “He lives at the fraternity house where you picked me up tonight. They were having a big party.”

  As she says the words, I suddenly remember that there were people wearing ridiculous looking sheets and costumes. It didn’t register before because I was so intent on Claire.

  Even though I want to ask what happened next, I don’t. I have the feeling she’s going to tell me on her own. I also have the feeling that I’m not going to like what she has to say.

  “He gave me a necklace.” Again she falls silent. “No one has ever given me anything before.”

  I can’t help but think that whoever she’s with should be showering her with trinkets every damn day of her life. Claire is special. I felt it from the very first moment I met her. Hell, I hadn’t even met her. Just caught sight of her from across the room. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

  Then I realized she was only eighteen.

  The younger sister of a teammate.

  And not just any old teammate, but Liam Garrison, our QB.

  The very same guy who has now taken me under his wing and helped me turn my shit around. There were more than a few guys on the team who didn’t give a rat’s ass about what happened to me. If I crapped out or got traded. They’d grown tired of my antics off the field.

  And I can’t say I blame them for it either.

  My behavior was total bullshit.

  I know that.

  So I owe Liam a lot.

  “He put it around my neck and then started kissing me.”

  At the sound of her voice, my mind snaps back to the present. To Claire, the woman I haven’t been able to vacate from my mind in three years. Her eyes are once again focused on the pool, which is illuminated by lights. The water, the way it sways gently under the moonlight that spills across it, seems almost mesmerizing in the utter quiet of the moment.

  “Before I knew it, we were on the bed. It felt good… what he was doing. I’m not going to say that it didn’t.”

  Her brows draw together just a bit. It’s not a full-out frown. Almost as if she’s having a hard time understanding the thoughts running rampant through her own head.

  “When he unbuttoned my jeans and started touching me,” she gulps, “I knew that I wanted him to stop… or at least slow down a bit.”

  Her words leave my hands fisting at my sides. I want to reach out, pull her towards me, but I don’t. I’m not sure if I should. The uncontrollable urge to jump in my car and zip back down to that fraternity house roars through my blood. I want to find that little prick and beat the piss out of him.

  “I told Ryan that I wanted to stop. I tried pushing him away, but he was too strong.” She shakes her head. “He kept telling me to calm down. That I was just nervous because it was my first time.”

  I’ve never wanted to punch my fist through something more than I do at this very moment. But I can’t do that. I need to take care of Claire. Make sure she’s alright.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong. You know that, right?”

  Straightening her shoulders, her eyes latch onto mine again. “I know. I asked him to stop, and he didn’t.” Her voice strengthens. “What happened is on him. Not me. I realize that.”

  Something im
mediately loosens within me at her words. It would be so much worse if she blamed herself for him being an asshole.

  “Did he…”

  My words trail off. I’m not quite sure how to ask if he raped her. Because that’s exactly what it would be. Rape. Even if she went upstairs with him willingly. Even if she was okay with what was going on in the beginning. When she told him to stop, he should have pulled back. Given her space.

  And he didn’t. Instead, he forced himself on her.

  Shaking her head, she sucks in a big breath. “No. I pretended to be into what he was doing. I told him to get a condom. When he rolled off me, I jumped from the bed before ripping off the necklace and throwing it at him. Then I told him that we were through.”

  Another silence falls over us.

  Thank god she stayed calm and was able to think her way out of the situation. That’s not always easy to do.

  “When I couldn’t find Holly, I called you.”

  Even though I don’t say the words, the realization of what could have happened to her washes over me. It leaves a sick feeling sitting in the pit of my gut. The urge to pull her into my arms continues to pound its way through me. I just want to wrap her up in my strength and never let go.

  But I don’t.

  Oddly enough, nothing has really changed between us.

  “You did the right thing,” I finally tell her.

  Looking just a bit confused, she says, “I didn’t expect him to do that.”

  “You trusted him.”

  “Yeah,” she sighs, “I did.”

  “Not all guys are like that.”

  She spears me with a dubious look. “All you seem to care about is hustling someone into bed as quickly as possible.” She pauses. “That’s always been your M.O., hasn’t it?” Even though she laughs, there isn’t a trace of humor in the sound. “Isn’t that what you’ve tried doing to me every time we ran into each other?”

  Alright… when she puts it like that, my past behavior sounds pretty lousy. And maybe I have been guilty of hustling women into bed. Actually, there’s no doubt about it. I’ve done more than my fair share of hustling. In my defense, the only thing I can say is that women have been throwing themselves at me since before I can even remember. Half the time, I was the one being hustled.