But still…
“The difference is that when someone tells me no, I stop right there.” Stepping just a bit closer, I slide my hand under her chin, lifting it until her eyes are able to lock on mine. Softly I continue, “I would never force a woman into bed. When you said no- I backed off right away.”
“Every time we saw each other, you hit on me.”
“That’s called persistence.” The corners of my lips tug upwards. “Nothing wrong with that. Plus, you might have changed your mind.”
She returns my smile. It’s nice to see some of that vulnerability fading away. “You were annoying.”
“Yup, definitely guilty of being annoying.” I flick the tip of her nose with my finger. “But nothing more.”
Since she seems to be feeling better, I ask, “How about we check if there are any good movies on demand. Then we can decide what you want to do afterwards.”
She nods, and even though I don’t want to break the physical contact between us, I allow my hand to fall away from her face.
Within ten minutes, we’re both settled on the couch. Believe it or not, Claire is actually right next to me. I sat down first, wanting her to have the choice of where to sit. After everything she’s been through tonight, the last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable. We decided on some rom-com that just came out. It’s funny and lighthearted. Exactly what we need. She’s laughing. The tension slowly ebbs from her body as she continues to relax. We’re sharing a big bowl of popcorn. What happened with Jackwad seems to be forgotten.
At least for the moment.
When the credits finally roll, I turn to Claire, surprised to see her curled up, sleeping soundly next to me. I didn’t even realize she had dozed off. I click off the TV before deciding what to do. By now it’s well past one o’clock in the morning. There’s no way that I can just dump her at Liam and Gia’s house at this hour. Nor do I want to take her back to her apartment.
Making a hasty decision, I scoop her up into my arms before carrying her upstairs. She doesn’t even stir. Not once. I like the solid feel of her in my arms. I have three guest rooms. Walking past the first two, I put her in the one closest to the master bedroom.
Because she’s in my arms, I’m unable to pull back the covers. She’s sleeping so damn soundly. So I lay her on top of the comforter before padding quietly to the closet and pulling out another blanket to drape over her.
Once she’s tucked in, I stand in the darkness for just a moment. I can’t deny that I don’t like seeing her in my bed.
Well, my guest bed.
But close enough.
Beggars can’t be choosers, right?
Leaving the door slightly ajar, I walk out into the hallway before heading to the master suite. It may be after one in the morning, but I have all this pent-up energy careening through my system, and I have no idea why.
Okay, yes I do.
I have Claire Garrison sleeping not forty feet from me.
Even though she’s safe, tucked away in one of my beds, I still can’t stop thinking about what that asshole tried doing to her. Giving her a piece of jewelry to soften her up before trying to fuck her…
Even thinking about it has me bunching my fists together.
I’m half considering throwing on a T-shirt and shorts and heading down to the gym in my basement, but I don’t think I’m quite up for a full on workout. Maybe a swim instead. The more I consider the idea, the more it takes root. Yeah… a swim will settle everything that is rampaging within me and then maybe I’ll be able to fall asleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Claire
I wake with a start. Even in the darkness that surrounds me, I know I’m not in my own bed. Everything just feels… different. And I’m not at my brother’s place either. Because I stay there a few times a week, I’m familiar with the surroundings.
So… where am I then?
Sitting up, I realize that I’m still wearing my T-shirt and jeans from this evening. That notion has the breath rushing from my lungs. At least I can cross sexual assault off the list. Tiredly I scrub a hand over my face trying to jostle my brain into action before I start freaking out.
Holly and I went to a toga party at Ryan’s fraternity.
All at once, everything within me deflates as I remember what happened with Ryan.
He really is an asshole.
Then I called JT to pick me up.
Even though I’ve never been to JT’s house, somehow I know that’s where I am. We were watching a movie and... I must have fallen asleep, and he carried me up to bed. I quickly glance over at the other side of the mattress. It’s still perfectly made. In fact, I’m not even under the covers.
Heart slowing now that I know where I am, I relax back onto the pillows, willing myself to go back to sleep. There’s no point in waking JT to take me to my apartment. I’ll just stay here for the night, and he can drop me off tomorrow morning. For about ten minutes, I toss and turn trying to find sleep again, but it feels impossible.
My mind is spinning.
As much as I don’t want to dwell on what happened tonight, my thoughts continue to circle back to Ryan. To what he tried pulling. I honestly think I was in shock after it happened. It was like I was operating on autopilot. I knew that I had to get myself out of the situation and away from him. There wasn’t time to get emotional. But now… thinking about it… it just pisses me off. I just want to find him and punch him in the face.
A few times.
Thank god I didn’t end up sleeping with him.
He’s not worth my time. Looking back, I can see that I was dragging my feet about going through with it. And it was more than just nerves which is exactly what I kept trying to convince myself of.
It was him.
Our relationship.
It just wasn’t right.
For a long time, I didn’t allow myself to have a social life. My need to be successful took precedence over everything. I wanted my family to be proud of me. To see that I was capable of far more than they’d ever imagined. More than I had ever imagined. Liam has been footing the bill for my college education, and I didn’t want to let him down.
And now I’m in my last year of school.
I have a three-point-five GPA. But none of it has come easy. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am. To maintain it. I’ve had to enlist tutors and drop in regularly during my professor’s office hours for extra help.
It was Gia who helped me during my freshman year of high school to come up with an organizational system and way to study that worked best for me. And I’ve always stuck to that. I’ve learned over the years that there are no shortcuts. I have to put in the time if I want to see the results.
But now there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll be finished with college at the end of this year. For the first time in my life, I feel like I can lighten up. Just a little bit. Maybe even have some fun. Which is precisely why I finally gave in to Ryan.
And I liked him.
But I didn’t have anything to compare him to.
I’ve never really gone out with anyone else before. A few dates here and there that led to nothing because I wasn’t interested in putting in the time or effort. Even in high school, I was afraid of backsliding into the land of low grades and getting caught up in a cycle of late work. Once I finally got myself on track, there was no way anything was going to distract me.
Which is exactly why I’m a virgin at twenty-one. It certainly wasn’t by design. I wasn’t holding out for the perfect guy. More like a failure to think about the ramifications of not dating or having an active social life.
But what Ryan tried to do… that was an asshole move on his part.
He tried taking something I wasn’t willing or ready to give.
Even though I’ve been trying to fall back to sleep, I know that it’s not going to happen. I’m way too jacked up to even close my eyes. Throwing off the cover, I pad to the open door before stopping and looking down the hallwa
y. Everything is quiet and dark. JT’s house seems to be the same configuration as Liam’s, so his bedroom should be the one to the right.
Since the door isn’t closed, I tiptoe over before peeking my head inside. I’m not sure if he’ll be awake or not. I just… need to talk. The curtains haven’t been drawn, allowing silvery moonlight to pour in through the windows. My eyes fall onto the king-sized bed, but it’s empty. In fact, it’s still perfectly made. Maybe he’s downstairs watching TV? Although, even in the darkness, I can see that there’s a large flat screen hanging from the wall.
Like my brother’s house, there are two staircases. I head down the one that will lead to the kitchen rather than the front of the house. There’s a small light over the sink that illuminates the room enough for me to see that it’s empty. The TV in the family room is off, and everything around me is silent. It’s weird roaming around someone else’s house in the middle of the night. I can’t help but wonder where JT is. I don’t think he would have just left me here by myself. That thought has a prickle of unease slithering its way down my spine.
I know he was angry about Ryan.
It’s strange. I met JT three years ago. And over the course of that time, we’ve run into each other every couple of months. I can’t say that I ever liked him or even gave him a chance. His obnoxious behavior was such a turn-off. He was always drinking. Wrapped up in women. A new one on his arm every time I saw him. And the fights…
He was most definitely the bad boy of football.
Tarnishing the great Green Bay name.
Not to mention his family’s name as well.
And then, at the end of last season, he did a complete one-eighty. Cleaned up his act and started hanging out with Liam. Even though I’ve continued to keep my distance, I can’t deny that I’m attracted to him.
What woman wouldn’t be?
He’s utterly gorgeous. Thick messy blond hair. Unusual light green eyes. And muscles. The man is a veritable mountain of muscle. Somehow, he seems even more muscular now than he was before. It’s like he’s channeling every last drop of energy into working out.
But this past week, when he helped me out with babysitting and now tonight...
This is the first time that I’m starting to think that maybe he’s not the guy I assumed he was. Or maybe he is, and I’m just seeing what he wants me to see. I’m not really sure yet. But part of me wants the chance to figure it out.
Just as I’m about to head to the basement, to see if he’s down there, movement catches my eyes from outside on the darkened patio. My heart kicks up a little bit because I’m not sure what I saw. Slowly I creep towards the French doors that line the back wall of the kitchen overlooking the yard. The lights from the pool are still illuminated. It’s only when I’m standing in front of the doors, scanning the darkness that I realize someone is swimming in the pool. Doing laps. Everything within me instantly loosens as I realize that JT didn’t leave me here by myself.
Grabbing the handle, I open the door before heading out onto the stamped concrete patio. It’s early September. The days are still warm and full of sunshine, but it’s not unusual for it to drop down to the low sixties or high fifties at night. Goose bumps break out across my flesh as the light breeze wafts gently over me.
The water must be freezing.
I walk to the edge of the pool just as JT surfaces. Even though he looks surprised to see me, he doesn’t say a word. Merely leans his thick muscular arms against the tiled ledge before resting his chin on stacked hands. I squat down in front of him so that we’re somewhat at eye level.
“You always swim during the middle of the night?”
Shrugging, he grins, piercing me with those gorgeous green eyes of his. As he does, something arrows clean through me. I don’t think I’ve ever had all that charm aimed my way before. I’ve been so good at shutting him down over the years and ignoring his advances that we never quite make it to that point.
“That’s the beauty of owning your own pool. You can swim anytime you feel like it.” Before I can ask any more questions, he says, “I figured you would be sacked out until morning. Seemed like you were pretty tired.”
Now it’s my turn to shrug. “I woke up and didn’t know where I was.” I pause before adding, “When I couldn’t find you, I thought maybe you’d left.”
The smile slowly falls away as his eyes stay latched onto mine. “I wouldn’t have done that to you, Claire. I wouldn’t have left you here alone after what happened.”
In that moment, something indescribable passes between us as we continue holding one another’s gaze in the darkness. There’s a sizzle, a snap of energy. Needing to shake off the strange sensation, I blink before clearing my throat, “You must be cold.”
“Nope. Heated pool.”
“Oh.” I trail my fingers gently through the water. It’s warm. Like bathwater. The temperature must be somewhere in the mid-eighties, if not higher. It feels a lot warmer than the cool night air wafting around me.
“Wanna come in?”
My eyes fly back to his, and I say the first words that pop into my head. “I don’t have a suit.”
He shrugs. “Keep your underwear on.” One dark blond brow slinks upwards when I say nothing. “I saw the bathing suit you had on at the barbecue. It can’t be any worse than that.”
Almost instantly my cheeks fill with color. “There’s nothing wrong with that suit.”
His eyes glint with humor and possibly something more. “I didn’t say there was.”
Under normal circumstances, I would never consider taking off my clothes and getting into a pool with JT but…
Things are slowly starting to shift between us.
Before I can overthink my decision, I’m standing up from my crouched position in front of him. My fingers go to the hem of my T-shirt. Sucking in a deep breath, I tamp down any nerves that are trying to hurtle their way to the surface, before whipping it over my head.
Then I’m letting the soft cottony material slide from my fingertips as they settle at the button of my jeans. JT’s eyes are still locked on mine. He doesn’t say a word as I unbutton them before pulling down the zipper and shimmying the material from my hips until it becomes pooled around my ankles. Pulling it from my leg, I hop on one foot, then the other until my jeans are heaped on top of the shirt.
Then I’m standing in nothing more than pink and black polka dot panties and a matching bra. His eyes haven’t deviated from mine once. I don’t know why that has everything suddenly settling within me, but it does. Moving to the side of him, I drop down, sitting on the cerulean-colored tile ledge before slowly lowering my legs into the water.
Ohhh, that feels good.
The air is chilly. It makes the water feel positively heavenly. Not wanting to waste another moment, I arrow feet first into the water, ducking down until it’s covering my shoulders. It’s about four feet deep where we’re standing.
“Want to swim to the other side?”
“Sure.”
Without another word, we both take off towards the deeper end of the pool. The warm water feels amazing as I cut through it. And even though being with JT like this should feel strange or at the very least, awkward, it doesn’t.
It feels oddly comfortable.
For about ten minutes or so, we both paddle around. Reclining onto my back, I find myself gazing up at the stars. Out here in the country, they’re just so bright. The velvety dark sky seems littered with thousands of them. I can understand why JT would enjoy coming out here late at night. It’s very peaceful.
“You’re not thinking about getting back together with him, are you?”
Startled by the sound of his deep voice cutting through my thoughts, my eyes instantly slice to his. He watches me intently from about ten feet away. He hasn’t crowded me or tried getting into my space once since I’ve been in the pool with him. Actually, thinking back, he didn’t do that either when he helped me Saturday night when Gia and Liam went out. Other than the kiss we shared
right before he left, he never touched me. I’ve dwelled on that kiss way more than I should have this past week. I’m embarrassed to say just how many times I’ve had to push it from my mind.
Shaking away those thoughts, I say, “No.”
I have no intention of even talking to Ryan again. As far as I’m concerned, we’re finished. I really don’t know what he was thinking when he tried pulling that crap. He’s never acted like that before.
Yes… he’s gotten a little handsy but nothing that would ever have me thinking that he would actually try forcing himself on me. I wish I could say that he was completely drunk and didn’t know what he was doing (although honestly, that wouldn’t make it any better) but I can’t even use that as an excuse. He knew exactly what he was doing. And he wasn’t the least bit remorseful about it either.
“Good. You deserve better than him. I tried telling you that before.”
Now that has me rolling my eyes. The last thing I need to hear right now is- I told you so. Especially from JT.
I’m not sure what prompts the words to roll off my tongue, but they do before I can rein them back in. “Why do you care? What does it matter who I date?”
For a moment, he looks surprised by the questions. “I don’t want to see you get hurt, Claire.”
Narrowing my eyes, I tilt my head as I continue contemplating him from the distance still separating us. “Really? Because, if I remember correctly, you spent the better part of three years trying to talk me into bed. So…” I raise my brows at him.
“You’re right,” he admits. “The first couple times I did, but after that, I knew you would end up saying no.” He shrugs those big broad shoulders of his. I can’t help but notice how they gleam with wetness under the moonlight. “That, more or less, became how we greeted one another.”
A gurgle of laughter slips from my lips. “So, you thought it would be a good idea to just keep hitting on me even though you knew I wanted no part of you?”
A small smile tugs at his full sexy lips. “Yeah… it wasn’t exactly a good choice on my part.”
If You Were Mine Page 13