“Then just make sure she knows that, and you’re all set.” Michael held up his beer. “To the women we love even though they make us crazy.”
All the guys raised their beers.
“Amen,” Brad said as he clinked his glass against the others’ and took a drink.
* * *
Emma had to cover her mouth and look away so she didn’t laugh out loud. Bringing the girls to the block party had been purely for entertainment purposes, which Emma loved in so many ways, but they were all having so much fun they stayed longer than she’d anticipated. It was way past dark, and they were all settled around a bonfire in a neighbor’s yard two doors down. All the folks who were at the fire were the most interesting characters—including Candace, who had slunk over fifteen minutes prior. Gillian currently had her arm draped around The Cougar’s shoulders, and Candace was as uncomfortable as Emma had ever seen her.
It was hilarious. Emma hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.
When Candace had first joined the group, Gillian had gotten Emma’s attention and made a face, inclining her head slightly in Candace’s direction, and Emma had nodded. It had been the Is this the bitch? look. And Emma’s reply had answered, Why, yes, yes, it is.
Piper elbowed Emma and leaned over. “I haven’t had this much fun at a block party in ever. These people are nuts! The guy next to me just admitted he wanted to try ‘something edgy’ and would I be interested in seeing his glass art collection. Dude, I feel like if I went with him, he’d slice me up and pack me away in his freezer. Since when is glass art edgy?”
Emma laughed, peering over Piper’s left shoulder. “That’s Steve. He’s fairly harmless as far as I know. He lives at the end of the block. I’ve only met him a handful of times. I don’t think he’s ever been married, and I’ve never seen another car parked out front. So who knows? He could be an ax murderer. My advice is to not go.”
“Have no fear. It isn’t even a long-shot option. Pigs would literally have to start flying through the air, and the only protection would be his house because all the other ones blew up before we could find a safe haven.”
Caroline stuck her head into the conversation from Emma’s right. “You guys, Gillian is killing me over there. Look—”
All three of their heads snapped toward Gillian, who appeared to be giving Candace some much-needed advice in the form of a lengthy oration. Every once in a while she’d slap Candace on the shoulder, and then she’d grip the woman and shake her.
It was hard not to feel bad for Candace, but instead, Emma felt absolutely gleeful. “I wonder what she’s telling her. I hope it’s how not to be a dirty slut.” Emma pressed her palm over her mouth so she didn’t snort-laugh. She didn’t want to offend people she had to see daily. “We should really get out of here,” she said to the girls once she calmed down. “It’s getting late, and I never anticipated we’d stay for so long. Things are getting weirder by the hour.”
“We can go anytime, but I have to tell you, I loved being here,” Caroline said. “Your elderly neighbors, the Dwyers, were so sweet to talk to. But the woman who was just sitting next to me is a stone-cold drunk.” Caroline uttered the word drunk like someone else might say the name of a dreadful disease. “She’s got her own monogrammed flask, for heaven’s sake!” Caroline started to laugh, but kept her voice low. “She seems to think it’s normal to have one and told me how she brings it to all her kids’ sporting events. Honestly, it’s so brazen! Who would do that? And who would tell that to someone they just met?”
Emma nodded. “That’s Tracy.” She said the rest under her breath. “She’s been to rehab twice. She thinks she’s fooling her husband, and us, but we all know. She’s not allowed to drive their kids around anymore.”
“Oh no, that’s so sad!” Caroline said, gasping, covering her mouth. “Now I feel bad for talking about her!”
“Don’t worry about it.” Emma patted Caroline’s leg. “She hires these guys who she calls her ‘workmen’ to come over to ‘work on her house.’” Emma winked. “If they’re not male escorts, then I’m the one who’s drunk. How many workmen look like Chippendale dancers? The answer is maybe two.” Emma held up two fingers and chuckled. “There are a few, but they’re rare. Candace is just completely unhappy and always has been. She got married to appease her family. My guess is she gets divorced in the next year or two and moves to someplace like Costa Rica, ditches the alcohol, and becomes a yoga instructor on the beach.”
“On that note,” Piper interjected, “let’s blow this pop stand. We have presents to open and sex to talk about.” Piper stood, gesturing across the bonfire to Gillian to wrap it up. She glanced down at Emma. “But this was totally fun. Our block parties are few and far between, and never this interesting.”
Emma stood and waved to the Lincolns, whose yard they’d been in. They were an older couple who traveled a lot. They were the most fun and normal of the group—if you call tax evasion normal. Emma had found out that they’d been audited twice for it and had been forced to either pay huge fines or do jail time. “Thanks for hosting this, Sandy!” Emma called. “We’re taking off.”
Everyone said their good-byes.
Gillian got up last, wagging a finger and smiling at Candace as she went. They all heard her say, “If you’re ever looking for a pick-me-up, just give me a call. Emma has my number.”
Piper linked arms with Gillian and Emma as they walked back to Emma’s house. Caroline was ahead of them, carrying the empty bowl and the extra beers Emma had brought to the bonfire.
“What the hell were you saying to Candace the Cougar? It looked intense,” Piper asked Gillian.
“Well, after I lit into her about coming on to married men who aren’t asking for it,” Gillian told them, “I discovered that she’s just this incredibly lost, unhappy soul. So my inner helper came out. Because, you know, that’s how I roll.”
Emma laughed. “Really? Your inner helper? And this for the woman who tried to seduce my husband?”
“Hey, I’m an equal opportunity gal,” Gillian joked. “Candace hinted that she knows you guys are swingers, but, just so you know, I shot her down. I made up something about you guys building playsets in your basement. Apparently, you’re not the only one who snoops in windows around here.”
“I’m sure I’m not,” Emma agreed. “It’s pretty much the standard pastime in this neck of the woods. When everyone knows when you’re coming or going, it’s easy to snoop.”
“You know who else is easy?” Piper said. “Me. Now let’s get in there and open these presents. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you open mine!”
6
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Once the girls were all situated in the den, Caroline carried her and Piper’s gifts and set them in front of Emma. Caroline’s was the size of a small shirt box and was wrapped in white paper and topped with a silver bow.
“You didn’t have to go this crazy,” Emma told Caroline as she bent down and lifted the box onto her lap. “But I appreciate it.” As she began to unwrap the gift, she felt a little wistful. “You know, I never had a wedding shower, so it delights me that I’m getting a chance to do it now.”
“What?” Caroline gasped as she sat on the couch across from Emma. Piper sat next to her, and Gillian took her place on a stuffed chair across from them. “I had about ten showers. Where I come from, it’s practically a requirement to make sure every single relative on both sides can attend at least one shower. I had a shower for my grade-school friends, my prep-school girls, my college sisters, and my grandma Betsy’s United Daughters of the Confederacy group had one for me. Goodness, come to think about it, it was much too much! But I’m beyond happy we get to do this for you. That makes it all the sweeter. Now I wish I would’ve bought you even more.”
“Nonsense,” Emma said, waving a hand in dismissal. “This is more than enough.” She tore the paper off and balled it up, setting it next to her on the flo
or.
“Why didn’t you have a shower?” Piper asked. “I only had two. I didn’t even want one, but Michael’s sisters insisted. Then my mom ended up swooping into town on her broom a week before we got married. It was right before my parents moved to warmer climes, and she insisted on putting together one for her side of the family. I think about ten people attended. It was arduous as hell.”
Emma kept the box on her lap, wanting to savor the unveiling of what was inside for a few minutes longer. “I’d just turned twenty-two when Pete asked me to marry him. We were only engaged for two months before we tied the knot. My entire family and friends were all in Kansas. They were too far away, and we wanted to get married in Chicago. It had become our real home very quickly. We were married in a simple ceremony at the courthouse with one of Pete’s friends and his girlfriend as our witnesses. I’ve never regretted a single day since.” She glanced down at the gift, running her fingers along the top of the box. “But it’s so nice of you guys to do this now. If Pete and I had just met, you three would totally be my bridesmaids.”
“That would be so fun!” Caroline said. “You would be mine, too. I had ten. Yes, ten. It was a circus. I would do it much differently now. Me and Jace, you three, some kind of sunset backdrop. It would be elegant and simple.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I never had a shower either,” Gillian told them. “Brad and I dated for about six months, and then we eloped to Vegas.”
“And you were married by an Elvis impersonator, right?” Piper said.
“Of course we were,” Gillian replied, reclining on the chair, settling a leg over the armrest. Gillian had arresting features. Her hair was black, cut long over her blue eyes, short in the back. With her tattoos, she fit the glam biker chick to a T. “Did you think for a second someone else would’ve married us?”
“Nope,” Piper said. “Gillian, I seriously adore you. Now, while Emma opens her gifts, you’re going to have to spill some details about your recent adventures. And before you tell us you can’t, we’re all willing to swear an oath right now that we won’t breathe a word to anyone. It would break the sacred STD trust if we did.” Piper placed a hand over her heart, her face striving for earnest.
Emma added, “Please, Gillian. Gifts and juicy gossip would make this the best shower ever. I’m with Piper. It won’t go further than this room. I won’t even tell Pete. You have my word.”
“Yes!” Caroline nodded her agreement. “Gillian, I’ve never taken you for someone who would shy away from details about your sex life. If this mystery guy, or girl, or people, of yours opted into the lifestyle, they should be well aware that there will be talk in certain circles. If you don’t share, we’re all going to assume they have some hold over you.”
“No one has anything over me,” Gillian replied casually. “When I’m asked to be discreet, I am. I’d do the same for any of you.” She swept her arm out in front of her. “If you didn’t want me to talk about something, my mouth would be a steel trap.”
“Yes, but we’re your girlfriends,” Piper urged. “Rules get bent for us. That’s just the way it is. And, honestly, who would we tell?” Piper glanced around the group. “We’re the only ones we talk to about this lifestyle. Plus, whoever you met up with was at the orgy—people have to know who they are if they’re members. Michael and I have been twice now, and we’ve met quite a few folks who love to gossip. I’d rather hear it from the horse’s mouth—you being said horse—instead of the rumor mill.”
“Okay, fine,” Gillian answered coyly. “This horse will confirm that he’s a member of the Underground, but he’s what they call an ‘anonymous member,’ so your threat of the rumor mill has no cred. Most people don’t know about him at all.”
“He! It’s a he!” Piper exclaimed, rubbing her hands together. “Now we’re getting somewhere. More, please.”
“Well, it’s actually a they,” she corrected. “He always has a submissive with him. He’s the dominant force, though. He has his own suite upstairs in the warehouse. Only the elite members get those, and they cost a fortune.”
“He must be filthy rich then,” Caroline breathed. “Piper told us the annual dues are outrageous.”
“They are,” Piper agreed, nodding. “It’s like remortgaging-the-house expensive to join. But there are different levels. If you want to host parties, like we do, it costs a lot more. We still haven’t officially joined yet. We get a few more ‘experimental’ passes, so we’re taking them before we decide how much we want to spend.”
“What I want to know,” Emma said, “is how in the world did they find you and Brad out of all those people? Piper said you and Brad were there one minute, gone the next.”
Gillian sat up in her chair and grabbed a water bottle she’d set next to her. They’d all stopped drinking a while ago. It was a long drive back for everyone to the city. “Brad and I have a mutual friend in common with this guy. One who happened to be at the orgy. When the action started in the main room, she caught my attention and waved us over. She asked if we would be interested in going upstairs to meet the mystery man, and we said yes. That’s it.”
“That’s so not it!” Piper interjected. “You’re making it sound like you went out and had a casual dinner with them. When we saw you later that week at my house, you raved about it being one of the hottest thing you’ve ever done. So at least spill something about the sex if you won’t say who it is. We need to know why it was so hot. Dude, we’re dying on the vine here.”
“Emma, continue opening your gifts,” Caroline urged, swishing her wrist, “while Gillian keeps talking. We all need to hear this, but you deserve to keep opening.”
“Fine,” Gillian said, crossing her arms. “I’ll talk about some of the particulars, but not the people.”
“We will be mollified with that for now,” Piper said. “Please continue.”
Emma had her hands on Caroline’s gift box, but she didn’t want Gillian to stop talking, so she waited. It was obvious Gillian was uncomfortable divulging information she’d promised to keep secret, but she began, “Our mutual friend took us up a staircase at the very back of the warehouse. It was kind of cloak-and-dagger, which I’m not always a fan of, but this time I was curious. Mostly because my friend was almost jumping up and down because she was so excited for us to meet him. She told us she knew right away that this was going to be a great match.” Gillian stopped her story and gestured to Emma. “Aren’t you going to open that thing up? Come on, I want to see what Caroline got you.”
Emma nodded once, shaking herself out of the story. “Okay, but you’re using this as a stall tactic,” Emma told her as she finally lifted the lid. Setting it aside, she parted the white tissue paper. The first thing she saw was a beautiful teddy. It was creamy silk with a delicate lace pattern edging the top. She drew it carefully out of the box by the straps. “Oh, it’s beautiful!” she exclaimed. “Caroline, is this real silk?”
“Yes,” Caroline answered excitedly. “I couldn’t help myself. I went with cream because it reminded me of your perfectly flawless skin. If you’d like it in another color, it’s no problem. They have greens and reds—”
“No, of course not,” Emma said, shaking her head. “I love it! It’s absolutely perfect. I can’t wait to wear it.” Very carefully she laid it over the arm of the sofa. Next were a few small bottles with red labels. She took one out. “Edible body oil?”
“And lube!” Caroline squealed, clapping. “I’m sure you’ve tried things like this many times, or maybe you even have some, but these are imported, and they actually taste good. I found them on a website with rave reviews, and I can vouch for them myself. Don’t hesitate to use them on Pete. They’ll make blowing him an extra welcome experience. I got you strawberry and passion fruit, which are my two faves. There’s one more thing in the box, and then Gillian can continue.” She glanced over at Gillian. “You’re not off the hook. We still need to hear what went down once you got upstairs.”
Piper gave Carol
ine a look of disbelief as she shook her head. “You are constantly surprising me. Imported edible lube? You are a total sex ninja.”
Caroline shrugged. “Hey, the Internet makes it easy. Jace constantly wants to try new things, and I happily oblige. It’s kind of fun, actually. I usually have lunch at my desk while reading about edible panties and the newest in battery-operated vibrators. Did you know they make them this tiny?” She spread her fingers about an inch apart.
Gillian laughed. “You are a sex ninja, and it’s so funny, because you look just the opposite. I love that about you.”
“Well, thank you,” Caroline said. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Emma lifted up the last of the tissue and picked up a red velvet cloth bag, cinched at the top with a red ribbon. She felt around the outside, giggling. “Do I really want to know what’s in here, Sex Ninja?” She untied the handles and emptied the object out onto the palm of her hand. It was a small plastic cord with three balls attached. Emma knew exactly what it was. “Anal beads!”
“Not just any kind of anal beads. They’re travel size!” Caroline exclaimed as everyone in the room rocked with laughter. “Hey, you can’t knock it until you try it. They’re usually on a much longer, bulkier cord. But I found those—”
“Let me guess,” Gillian interrupted, chortling, “on the Internet?”
“Why, yes!” Caroline laughed. “Those Scandinavian countries really have a knack for toys, I’m telling you. They’re a much better quality than anything made here.”
“Maybe you should incorporate imported sex toys into your stationery business,” Piper suggested. “I bet you’d get ten times as many customers.”
“I’ve actually considered it. I’m not joking,” Caroline said. “Why not be a distributor for high-end toys you can’t find here? But right now I’m too swamped with the cards. But maybe I’ll do it someday. I like the idea of empowering women. Females take much longer to orgasm—and some can’t come during intercourse alone. This would open up a whole new world for them.”
What Emma Craves Page 5