Miss Trudy had only asked her to bring two pumpkin. But somehow whole pecans and corn syrup had found their way onto her grocery list, and next thing she knew she was standing in her kitchen, rolling out a crust for Riley’s favorite pie.
He was her best friend, and he was coming home for the holiday. It was only natural she’d want him to have his favorite.
You keep telling yourself that, Paige.
Ever since she’d found out he was coming home for Thanksgiving, she’d been a mess. How was she supposed to act? Like a friend? Like nothing had changed? It seemed impossible when everything in her cried out for him. When her pillow was still damp with tears on the occasional bad night. When that hollow spot inside seemed to have only grown wider in the weeks since his departure.
You’re going to have to get me through this, God.
It was going to be painful. Seeing him again was only going to tear off the scab that was just beginning to form. She wondered what he was feeling. Was he dreading seeing her? Would it be as awkward as she feared?
She hadn’t heard from the family since Sunday. She assumed they’d been as busy as she with the shortened workweek and getting the Christmas tree farm ready to open. She’d never even asked when Riley was arriving, but she assumed it had been sometime yesterday. She tried not to feel hurt that she hadn’t heard from him.
She looked out her kitchen window at the swirling snow. She should just be grateful he wasn’t flying in this mess.
Time to get ready while the pies cooled.
Dasher crept over to her, looking up at her with those big green eyes, and let out a soft meow. Paige scooped her up. “What’s wrong, baby?”
Dasher always seemed to sense when she was anxious. It made the feline unsettled. The cat nuzzled her neck, her body vibrating with a low hum.
“I’ll be okay. Just as soon as I get this weekend over with.”
An hour later she was still trying to reassure herself as she pulled into the long, snowy driveway that led past the Christmas tree farm and to the house. Her windshield wipers squawked with each pass as they swiped away the huge snowflakes pelting the glass.
She squeezed the steering wheel with her gloved hands, her pulse kicking into double time as she rounded the curve, bringing the farmhouse into view. She drew in a steadying breath, then two, but it did nothing to calm her nerves. There was nothing she could do to prepare herself for seeing Riley again.
Part of her wanted to go right around the circle drive and head back to town. She looked at the house, huddled under a grove of mature white pines. Smoke curled from the chimney, the wispy trail disappearing into a frenzy of flakes. The sight was as inviting as a welcome sign.
But the familiar feelings arose as quickly as the thought. Did she really belong here? Aunt Trudy wasn’t really her aunt, nor were Beau and Zac her brothers. Riley sure wasn’t. Her presence would only make him uncomfortable. Make them all uncomfortable. The old insecurities rose to the surface, swirling around as frantically as the snowflakes outside.
Help me, God.
She’d come so far the past two months. She’d thought this was settled. But she supposed the feelings she had nurtured for so long weren’t going away overnight.
She closed her eyes for a brief moment as the car coasted down the incline, letting her new favorite scripture play over in her mind. See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
She’d found the verse for Brittany, and they memorized it together. The frequent reminder brought her comfort. She hoped it did the same for Brittany, especially this holiday weekend, which she was spending with her dad and his new family.
Her heart gave a thud as she pulled alongside the house and turned off the engine. She gathered the pie carriers and got out of the car, dashing through the cold. When she reached the door she gave a quick tap, then entered.
A football game was on the TV, but the living room was empty. Even though it was hours from supper, the house was already filled with savory aromas. A fire crackled in the fireplace and voices drifted from the kitchen.
“Hello!” she called as she kicked off her snowy boots on the rug.
“In the kitchen!” someone called. Eden, she thought.
You can do this. Just walk right in there and hug him hello like you would’ve done five months ago. Act like nothing’s changed. Like he’s still your best friend. Like your heart is still whole. Like seeing him again isn’t going to tear you up.
Lucy burst through the dining room door. “Hey, girl.”
“Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You too.” Lucy gave her a quick hug and then took the pie carriers, allowing Paige to shrug out of her coat.
“It’s freezing out there.”
“Beau just shoveled the walk, and it’s already covered again.”
“I hear we’re supposed to get eight more inches.”
“That’s what I heard. Are the roads a mess?”
“Pretty much.”
“Did you get my text?”
“No . . .” Paige hung her coat on the coatrack and checked her phone. “Oh, there it is. I didn’t hear it come in.” She scanned the message, her heart sinking as her eyes darted back to Lucy. “He’s not here?”
“He was supposed to fly in this morning, but with the storm . . .”
The hollow place inside filled with something dark and heavy. “He’s not going to make it for Thanksgiving.”
Lucy set her hand on Paige’s arm. “No, but he’s rescheduled on a flight that’s supposed to arrive tomorrow late afternoon.”
“But the forecast says the storm won’t let up until Saturday.” Paige searched Lucy’s eyes, hoping she was missing something. But judging by the look on her friend’s face, she wasn’t missing a thing. If Riley’s flight tomorrow was canceled, he wasn’t going to fly in on Saturday only to turn right back around the next day.
“He’s not even going to make Miss Trudy’s wedding,” Paige said.
Lucy gave her a sympathetic look. Paige knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. She wasn’t worried about Thanksgiving supper or Miss Trudy’s wedding. Despite her reservations, her foolish heart had counted on seeing him again.
“We’ll just have to wait and see.” Lucy patted her shoulder, her lips lifting in a smile. “Come on in the kitchen. Zac’s trying to trick Aunt Trudy into getting under the mistletoe with the sheriff, but she’s always a step ahead of him. It’s quite entertaining.”
Paige tried for a smile. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
As Lucy carried the pies into the kitchen, Paige pulled off her gloves, stuffing them into her coat pockets. She tried to tell herself that the heavy feeling weighting her stomach was hunger and not profound disappointment.
Chapter 43
Riley glared at the airport monitor. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
It was only an hour before his scheduled flight on Friday, and yet again the red Canceled sign flashed.
Why’s everything have to be so hard, God?
He let loose a big sigh. It was time to reclaim Bishop and his bag—again—and come up with plan B. Or was it C?
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
So he wasn’t going to fly. He’d see, if by some miracle, there was a car he could rent. If he got on the road by six tonight he could make it to the wedding, allowing time for gassing up, traffic, and snowy roads.
He started the long walk through the airport, hitching his duffel bag higher. He was tired of waiting around. He wanted to see Paige. It had been all he could do not to call her yesterday just to hear her voice. He wondered how she’d felt about his absence. Had she been relieved she didn’t have to face him across the Thanksgiving table? Indifferent?
The thought was a punch in the gut. He wanted nothing more than to see her, tell her how he felt, and gather her into his arms. But would she welcome him after the way he’d left?
He reclaimed Bishop and his suitcase and went to the
rental terminal, where all the kiosks were filled with snaking lines. He had to get home. He just had to.
A little help here, God?
While he waited in line he reassured Bishop, sticking his fingers through the carrier’s holes to be licked. The poor dog was probably hoping this airport thing wasn’t some awful new routine Riley was going to subject him to every day.
When Bishop lay down with a sigh, Riley stood and sent Beau a text to let him know his flight was canceled again. He scrolled through the Facebook pictures posted yesterday. His index finger stopped the scrolling and paged back up to the photo that had caught his eye. Eden had posted a picture of the family gathered around the table last night. His eyes homed right in on Paige. On her long blond hair, her gorgeous wide smile, her sparkling eyes.
She sure seemed happy. Happy Riley hadn’t made it home? Happy she wouldn’t have to face him?
His lips pressed together as he pocketed his phone and inched forward in line, scooting the carrier along. He wondered if she’d starting seeing Dylan again. Or someone else. Maybe she even had a date for the wedding. He knew how she felt about going to weddings alone, and a lot could happen in eleven weeks. Look how far he’d come.
Twenty minutes later he reached the front of the line.
An older woman with cocoa-colored skin smiled at him. “How can I help you, hon?”
“I need to rent a car, please. I’ll take whatever you have.”
“Give me a minute here.” She clicked and clacked on the keyboard while he fiddled with the frayed strap of his duffel bag. “We’ve been super busy today. Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?”
“Not really. I got stuck here by the snowstorm. I’m hoping to make the drive.”
“You must be determined to get home, young man.”
“Oh, I am. The sooner the better.”
She gave one more series of clacks, then stopped. “Well, good news and bad news. We just had a cancellation, but I’m afraid it’s a transit van.”
His breath left his body in one long stream. He was going home to Paige. “I don’t care. I’ll take it.”
Chapter 44
Paige put the finishing touches on her makeup and stood back from the mirror. She’d curled her long hair, and it hung in shiny waves over her shoulders. The mascara made her eyes look wide, but even makeup couldn’t disguise the sadness there.
Her eyes fell over her T-shirt and yoga pants. She’d lost a little weight in the last couple months. She hoped the dress she’d worn for Beau and Eden’s wedding still fit. It was the only one she had. It made her think of Riley—of when she’d walked down the stairs at the Roadhouse, of the look of awe on his face. Of the kiss they’d shared on the moonlit deck later.
Enough of that, Paige.
Zac and Lucy were picking her up on the way to the chapel so she wouldn’t have to navigate the snowy roads. She checked her watch. She still had twenty minutes until they arrived. She put another curl in her hair and tousled it, wondering why she was bothering.
She couldn’t believe Riley hadn’t made it home. As much as she’d had mixed feelings about seeing him again, there was nothing like keen disappointment to expose her true feelings.
She longed with all her heart to look into his deep green eyes, listen to the steady tone of his voice, and know he was okay. If he was, she could live with it; she’d finally decided that late last night when sleep was long in coming. She could be separate from him and still have peace. It wasn’t the same as being together—not even close. But after hours of conversation with God, she’d finally come to the point where she could accept it, if that’s what Riley needed to be whole and happy.
The doorbell rang, and Paige set down the brush. Shoot. They were early. Way early. “Come in!” she called.
She darted from the master bathroom and whipped her dress from the closet.
She heard the front door open and a shuffle in the living room.
“You’re early,” she called. “I just have to change into my dress and I’ll be ready.” Dasher scurried out of the bedroom to investigate as she closed her door. She changed into her teal wrap dress, smoothing it over her hips. Its fabric was stretchy, making the lost pounds barely noticeable. She put on a gold necklace and fluffed her hair one more time before leaving her bedroom.
“Sorry to keep you. It’s probably good you’re early, with the roads—” Her bare feet stopped on the threshold of the living room. Her lips parted.
Riley stood just inside the door.
“Riley.” His name escaped on a breath. Adrenaline flooded her body, leaving her legs weak and wobbly, her heartbeat erratic.
He was an imposing figure, with that broad chest of his. Those muscular arms. So handsome in his suit. His cheeks were flushed, his hair windblown. He looked the same. But there was something different in his eyes. A clarity she hadn’t seen in a long time.
Those eyes fastened on her as he straightened from the wall. Dasher meowed from the cradle of his arms. “I guess you were expecting someone else.”
She’d forgotten the wonderful rough texture of his voice. “I thought you—” She cleared the wobble from her voice. “Your flight was canceled.”
“I rented a car.”
“You drove all night? And all day? Through the snow?”
“I had to get here.”
Her eyes flickered to the picture window, where a white monstrosity huddled in her drive. “What in the world are you driving?”
And why was she worried about trivial details when Riley was standing ten feet away, looking at her like that?
“Basically a kidnapper-mobile, but it was all they had.” He took a step forward, then another. Tension pulled the air tight between them.
His eyes pierced hers. She couldn’t have looked away if she tried. His eyes were saying so many things. If she were quiet enough, maybe she could hear them all. He stopped an arm’s length away. Her heart was thudding so hard she thought it might burst right from her chest.
His gaze sharpened on her. “I made a mistake, Paige.”
She swallowed hard. “You—you did?”
“A lot’s happened since I’ve been gone. I’ve had a lot of time to think and a lot of time to sort things out.” He looked down and set his jaw.
He paused so long she wondered if he was going to go on. Then he cleared his throat and continued.
“When I came back from my tour, it was like I had this dark cloud hanging over me. No, not just over me—inside me. I tried to be my old self, but I just didn’t feel like the old me anymore.”
She longed to reach out and touch him, but instead she curled her hands at her sides. “You’d been through so much.”
“It took a toll on my mental health.” He gave Dasher one last stroke and set her down, his eyes returning to Paige’s as he straightened. “I’ve been talking with someone back in Georgia, a pastor. He’s helped a lot. You were right. I needed counseling, and I was too stubborn, too scared, to get help. I’m sleeping better now and thinking more clearly. So much more clearly.”
He looked at her with such intensity that her knees wobbled. Her heart gave a slow roll.
“I’m coming home, Paige. For good. I missed my family and—” His voice was as thick as honey. “I missed you.”
Her chest gave a hard squeeze. The look in his eyes made her insides melt. She couldn’t believe this was happening. That he was here, looking at her this way, saying these things. She clutched at the neckline of her dress.
He stepped closer, touched her face tentatively. “I missed you so much. I’m sorry I left you. Sorry I hurt you. I thought it was for the best—but I was wrong.”
Just the memory of his rejection made her eyes sting. It seemed like a bad dream now.
His thumb grazed slowly along her cheek. “I know you’re probably seeing someone else now, but . . . I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask for another chance. If you’ll just take me back, Paige, I’ll never leave you again.”
She could
n’t hold back any longer. She reached for him. Her hands framed his face, the rough feel of his stubble achingly familiar against her palms. She looked up into his eyes and let hers fill with everything she was feeling. “Oh, Riley. You never lost me at all.”
Something flared in his eyes before the line of his mouth softened. He closed the distance between them. His breath fell against her lips, a prelude to the reverent touch that followed. Her fingers found the soft hair of his nape as he began a slow exploration that nearly buckled her knees.
She must be dreaming, because she’d never seen this coming. But it was real. Riley was here. He was whole again. And he wanted her.
The realization spread through her like the most pleasant euphoria, invading her senses. He pulled her close, erasing the space between them. The strength of his arms seduced her. The heat of his body warmed her. The spicy smell of him intoxicated her.
He broke the kiss only to pull her tighter against him, his arms enclosing her as if he, too, could hardly believe they were here, like this. Together. As if he was never letting go of her again.
He’d better not. The memory of his last departure made her go all tense inside. She shoved the heel of her hand into his shoulder. “Don’t you ever leave me again.”
His fingers threaded into her hair. “Never,” he whispered into her ear. He buried his nose in her hair just as a car door slammed shut outside. She hadn’t even heard the vehicle’s approach. A moment later a knock sounded at the door.
Riley pulled away, his forehead against hers, and gave her a long look. “Am I going to have to kick someone’s butt?”
She gave a little laugh, feeling almost giddy with his nearness. She couldn’t resist a little impish remark. “Oh, I don’t know, Riley. I’m not sure you can take him.”
His lips tightened at the corners as he turned and resolutely strode toward the door, flinging it open.
Paige wished she could’ve seen the look on Riley’s face, because the look on Zac’s was priceless.
Just a Kiss Page 24