by Cate Masters
“He loved you.”
“Not that way.” She held his hand tighter. “He never made any advances. The only gentleman I knew.”
“Surely you left a few broken hearts in Trenton.”
“None, I swear. I….” How embarrassing.
He twisted toward her and cupped her cheek. “Norah, you have nothing to fear from me. Ever. Do you understand?”
She could hardly breathe. He held her gaze, his face mere inches from hers. Despite the dim light, it pinned her in place, stiff and vulnerable. She managed to nod. Everything in her waited for him to close the small distance between them. Press his mouth to hers.
Thumb caressing her cheek, he gave a longing look at her mouth, his brow furrowed, and he shifted onto his back again.
Her head reeled. Too tired? Or did he no longer desire her, knowing what her mother was? “I never….” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I only kissed one other man before you. No one’s ever touched me.”
“I know, Norah.”
She jerked her head up, but could only make out his outline in the near-darkness. How could he possibly know? “You do?”
“I’ve known all along.”
She released a breath, and along with it, the tension afflicting her. So he really had seen clear inside her. A sense of calm blanketed her, but something more. If he hadn’t held her, she might have floated up into the air. Until now, she hadn’t realized how important it had been for him to understand. But he required no explanation about her past, and wouldn’t force himself on her. If she weren’t so exhausted, she’d be almost giddy with happiness.
She nestled against him, and the slow, steady beat of his heart drummed in her ear, a lulling sound. She let herself fall asleep, content and safe in his arms.
Mac closed his eyes, willing her to sleep, not daring to move for fear he’d startle her. The poor darlin’. What a life she must have had. No wonder she’d put up so many false defenses to keep men at bay. And no wonder she fled to the opposite coast, as far from home as possible.
He whispered, “I’ll prove myself to you, Norah, I swear. Every single day, I’ll show you can trust me. If I ever fail you, it won’t be for a lack of trying.”
She stirred. “What?”
Bloody hell, she wasn’t asleep. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, what did you say?”
He heaved a sigh. “I pledged you an oath. You can trust me, Norah.”
“I know, Mac.”
Though he couldn’t see her, he peered in her direction. “You do?”
“Yes. I think I knew that first day. You saw me steal that old biddy’s money, and you didn’t turn me over to the authorities. Why?”
He traced circles on her arm. “I don’t know. At first I thought you were a bored rich girl, so beautiful in that emerald gown, it made your eyes sparkle the greenest of green. The way you lifted your nose in the air, you could have been a princess.”
“Really, Mac. Most other men would have reported me to the sheriff. Why didn’t you?”
“I’ve been down on my luck, darlin’, and not always acted honorably. Sometimes we’re desperate and do things we regret.”
“I don’t regret it. That woman made my life a living hell.”
“Then she deserved it.” He kissed her head. “And she’d fall at your feet now. A respectable businesswoman, the envy of all.”
“Stop. My business would have failed anyway. All those years of saving and planning for nothing.”
Ah, so that explained her behavior. She’d worked so hard to save her money, and wasn’t about to lose it. “Everything needs some room to grow, Norah. You just have to give it time.” He hoped she understood he meant more than her saloon.
There was a ragged sigh beside him. “I wanted to run after you that night. I was horrible to you.”
“I wanted to stay, but I only left so you would know I’d never force myself on you.”
“What happened? How did they shanghai you?”
Not his finest hour. “A friend encouraged me to sign up for the fist fights. I needed to blow off some steam anyway, but didn’t count on the other fellow knocking me out cold. I woke up on the ship, luckily not far from shore.”
“And you swam back? How frightening.” She held him tighter.
“On the ship, my only thought was returning to you.”
“Oh, Mac. I was so afraid during the earthquake. I thought I’d lost you.”
“Oh, when the ground danced beneath my feet, my only aim was first to find you, then to get you to safety.” But now that he held her, could he keep her with him? The world had crumbled down around them. It seemed a miracle they’d survived. Having her in his arms seemed an even bigger miracle.
“I kept watching for you. Waiting. I even prayed.”
“Did you now?”
“I’ve never prayed before in my life, Mac. I—”
He reached for her in the darkness, and cupped her face. “Norah.” Sheer need urged him forward, his mouth gently searching out hers. Soft and sweet as he remembered. He tasted slowly, again and again. The feel of her skin, her tangy scent drove him wild. He kissed her longer, deeper, and eased atop her.
Suddenly stiff, her body hardened beneath him.
White heat blanked his mind, but one realization pushed through: she’s panicking. Trembling with the effort, he pulled back, then leaned his forehead against hers.
He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Do you trust me, Norah?”
“Yes.” Fear wobbled her whisper.
“If you don’t want me to kiss you, I’ll stop.”
“I do. I want to. But I can’t let go of a lifetime of fear all at once.”
He inhaled a deep, steadying breath. She needs time. Give her time. “All right, love. We have all the time in the world.”
She went fluid beneath him. “Sorry.”
“Never apologize, Norah. I want you to tell me what you’re feeling. What you want.”
“Can you keep holding me?”
“Always.” Probably better for them both on their sides. That way, he wouldn’t be tempted to let his hands roam. He rolled away, keeping her close. “Is this better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
He couldn’t help but smile. Thank you? He wanted to fall on his knees and shout his thanks to the world and beyond. Before he got carried away again, he’d better keep his brain otherwise occupied. “So tell me, how did you get to be such a card shark?”
“One of the hazards of growing up in a bordello, I guess. Dan, the bartender I told you about, spent a lot of time teaching me how to read and write and run a business. When he wasn’t around, I picked up a few tricks watching the card games.”
“Almost as good as your pickpocketing.”
“All in the past. I’m a new woman.”
“A beautiful one.” Tempting, too. Hell’s bells, he’d have a devil of a time keeping himself in line from now on.
“Promise me something.”
“Anything.” He nuzzled her cheek.
“Promise me you’ll never praise me to get what you want.”
He jerked back. “I’m not like that, Norah.” Well, not much.
“I want us to be honest with each other. No matter what.”
“I want that, too.” Though her honesty could be brutal at times, but he supposed sugarcoating a thing never improved the sourness beneath.
“Good.” She caressed his face. “How are you feeling?”
He gripped her closer, so his mouth moved against hers. “Horny as hell.”
She gasped. “Oh, Mac.”
He relaxed his hold. “You wanted honesty, darlin’. I’ve wanted you for a long time. Have you ever thought about us…together?”
A pause, and she sighed. “Yes.”
“Was I any good?”
She laughed. “Yes.” Her voice turned serious. “But I wasn’t.”
“A hundred dollars says you are.”
“A hundred dollars?”
>
“Yes, let’s make a bet right now. You pay me a hundred dollars if my charms overwhelm you and take you into the realm of bliss. If you prove me wrong and you don’t enjoy every moment in the sack with me, I’ll owe you a hundred.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“If you can’t afford it, fine.” Though he meant it as a joke, he wouldn’t demean her by suggesting he could take payment in other ways.
“You know what I mean.”
“Likewise, darlin’. I have every confidence in you.” He’d bet it all on her, everything he had and more.
“Or in yourself.”
At least she’d smiled when she said it. He heard it in her voice. “That, too.”
Her light slap to his chest became a caress. “You don’t have a hundred dollars.”
“Neither do you.”
“But I will, once I get my business back up and running.”
“That’s the spirit.” He knew she wouldn’t give up.
Neither would he.
***
The first rays of morning sun shone through the tent. Still in Mac’s arms, Norah didn’t want to open her eyes and find that last night was only a dream. A wonderful dream, one she never dared to hope would come true.
Eyes closed, Mac rolled toward her. “Mornin’.” Sleepiness thickened his words.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
“Better than I have in a long time.”
So had she. She’d felt safe, like nothing could harm them. Now an unnamable excitement coursed through her. She couldn’t wait to spend time with him. “I thought your snoring sounded different.”
“Ha, yes. Sorry if I kept you awake.”
She snuggled against him. “You didn’t.”
His grunt sounded sorrowful, like he wished he had kept her awake in other ways. All night long, she’d thought about it. Wondered what it would be like, and decided she wanted to find out. Slowly.
Before she could get up the courage to tell him so, he scooted lower so they were face to face.
“We could stay here all day.” The nervous glance he shot her hardly matched his casual tone.
Her heart fluttered. Did he mean—
His hands roamed her back. “I want to drown in your emerald green eyes.”
“I don’t want you to drown. I have plans for you.”
His grin turned wicked. “You do, eh?”
Lightning danced inside her chest. “Yes,” she whispered. “I want to….” Just say it, Norah! “If you’ll stay still and let me, I want to….” She gulped. “Touch you.”
He’d already stilled except for his eyes, which searched hers with a warm gleam. His jaw bobbed open. “All right,” came his hoarse reply.
With nimble fingers, she unbuttoned his long underwear and pushed them to his sides, then fluttered caresses across his chest, through the patch of hair that narrowed as it dipped to his waist. The thin dark line below his belly button disappeared into the bottom half of his thermals.
Later, she reminded herself. First, she wanted to test whether the stories Sal’s girls used to tell her were true. After smoothing the hair from his nipple, she brushed her fingertip across it. When it hardened, a thrill shot heat through her belly. Circling it, she tested her own strength to remain still as Mac obviously strained to keep his word. His low moans and shudders beneath her touch caused a ripple effect in her.
She dropped her caresses to his narrow waist, and teased her fingers along the edge of the opening where five more buttons remained. “Will you stay still if I undo them all?”
Steady as a log, he said thickly, “Yes.”
You’re playing with fire. One button, then another, and he trembled. But I want to feel the burn. At the third button, the head of his arousal pushed up, straining against the last two.
A strangled noise was his only reaction. Reaching beneath, she freed his erection by undoing the final buttons. It pulsed as her touch feathered from tip to base, around to the underside. A light massage of his balls, and he released a long, ragged breath.
“Is this all right?”
“Oh yes.” His voice was low. “Perfect.”
“Tell me if I do something wrong.”
“Keep going. Up and down.”
Oh right, like the girls at Sal’s had said: ring her finger and thumb around it, not too tightly, then drag her other fingers behind and pump slow until he begged for more. Some had told stories about using their tongues, and Norah was tempted to try it. Next time. She wanted to learn what Mac liked, and his body was instructing her plenty. Muscles corded and tight, nostrils flaring, veins straining against his neck, but most telling were his eyes—heavy-lidded, filled with enough heat to make steam. Watching her.
“Harder,” he rasped. “Faster.”
If he meant for her to catch whatever fever he had, it worked. Holding herself as close to him as possible, she increased the rhythm. His breath was hot near her mouth, she wanted to taste him—any part of him—but knew if she did, her last defense would fall. Her sex pulsed with need. She wanted to know his touch, feel him inside her. Her shallow, sharp breaths kept time with his, driving her desire higher. Deeper.
“Ah!” His body jerked, and warmth spurted into her hand.
Her protest fell mute when he gave a surprised shake of his head, and his mouth opened in a laugh. It’s over already? She wanted more, and had felt ready for it.
He scanned her face, and his grin faded. He closed his mouth around hers, and squeezed her in his embrace. “Oh darlin’, I can’t wait until you let me show you how good it can be.”
Yes, show me. But she couldn’t form the words, only nod against his shoulder.
He eased away to look at her. “It’s going to be grand. You’ll see.” He kissed her forehead, her nose, then her lips. “I’m starving. Let’s eat.” Reaching for his jeans, he blathered on about his hopes for eggs this morning because he could eat an elephant. He’d wriggled into his pants and held the zipper when he paused. “Are you all right?”
“Ye- yes.” She nodded to confirm it.
“You’re not sorry, are you?”
“No. Well, in a way.”
“What, darlin’?”
Tell him. You said you wanted honesty. “I’m sorry it ended.”
His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “We’ll have plenty of time for more. And better.”
She filled her lungs with air and wanted to squeal. Better and hopefully longer. If only the saloon had survived, and they had a real bed to stretch out on.
His enthusiasm buoyed her. She readied herself, and they walked hand-in-hand to the rations table. Mac tipped his cap to everyone who looked their way. A wink and a smile accompanied his usual thank you to the stone-faced volunteer who spooned out their oatmeal.
He gulped it without complaint. “Let’s take a walk after we finish.”
“Through the city?” She worried another aftershock would tumble any remaining buildings, or start more fires. Too many told horror stories of firestorms sweeping across entire streets, fireballs engulfing people who had no time to flee.
“To your property. Don’t you want to see it?”
“I don’t know.” Maybe not in ruins.
“But you need to know how much work is ahead of us.”
Us? “So you’ll help me rebuild?” She scooped the last of the oatmeal into her mouth.
“Did you doubt it?” He grinned and extended his hand. “Shall we?”
She slid her palm across his, thankful for his strength. She might not have been able to face what she was about to see alone. As much for safety as for reassurance, she held his arm while they walked among the rubble-strewn streets until they reached Third Street.
Standing before the remains of her saloon, she clutched him tighter. Of all the awful sights, this one—her property, the first real thing she’d owned, nothing more than a heap of charred wood and stone—deepened her despair. “I’ll never be able to reopen.”
He squeezed
her hand. “Of course you will.”
Tears welled up. “I have very little money left. I would have had to fire you next month if….” She couldn’t finish.
Grasping her shoulders, he turned her toward him. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, lass.”
She searched his face, his deep blue eyes, and then sunk into his embrace. “Oh, Mac.”
He nuzzled her, kissed her neck. “We’ll make it a grander place than before.”
Wiping a tear from her cheek, she nodded. Much as she hated to admit it, she needed him more every day.
He peered over her shoulder. “What’s this?” He took her hand and led her closer. “A message left for you.”
Norah stared at the board containing the scrawled chalk message, the name blurred and illegible. “I don’t believe it. Someone’s looking for me?”
Mac stiffened. “Who?”
“I don’t know. I wonder if it’s Nicholas Abernathy?” If he’d survived.
He didn’t ask, but she read the question on his face. “The attorney who wrote me about the property. His letter brought me here. I always carry it for good luck.”
“Someone mentioned there’s an insurance bureau now. They’re taking claims. If you have that letter, you could file your own claim.”
A small spark of hope flared up. “Do you think so, Mac?”
“I know so. Let’s go find it.”
And hopefully, the start of a new life.
***
A sinking feeling came over Mac after Norah emerged from the building where the insurance bureau had set up shop. If she got her saloon back, he might lose her. They’d never begin their new lives on equal terms, as he’d hoped.
Unable to stand still, he twisted his cap in his hands. “Did it go well?”
“Yes. Thank goodness I saved the deed. The clerk said it would ensure fulfillment of my claim.”
He released a breath. “Good.”
“I want to start clearing the property tomorrow. We’ve so much to do.”
“Building from the ground up won’t be easy.”
“Nothing worthwhile ever is.” Her brows knit. “You don’t sound happy for me.”