by Lara Lacombe
Guilt was a heavy weight on his chest. He had to tell her about his part in her brother’s death. She deserved to know the truth.
“Jillian...” he began.
She turned to face him fully and the words stalled in his throat. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, but the look she gave him was full of hope, as if he was some kind of superhero that would make things right in her world. If she knew the truth, she’d hate him. And after everything that had happened tonight, he didn’t think he could bear that.
“Sorry,” she said, blinking hard. “I didn’t mean to start crying on you. But it’s the first time I’ve talked to anyone about Jason.”
“It’s okay,” he said softly, reaching out to run his finger across her cheek. She stilled at the contact and he pulled away, cursing himself for having scared her.
“Alex?” Her voice was barely a whisper, but he heard it as clearly as a shout. Jillian moved closer and he sucked in a breath when he realized her intentions.
The kiss started out gentle; a slide of lips, the barest flicker of her tongue. I should stop this. He’d wanted to kiss her for hours, but given his role in her brother’s death, he didn’t deserve the privilege. And if Jillian knew the truth, she’d hate him forever for using her like this.
He was on the verge of telling her when she deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue across his with a teasing flutter that sent all the blood in his body to his groin. Conscious thought evaporated in the face of her heated exploration and he surrendered to the flood of sensations, no longer caring what the future might bring. There was only now, only Jillian. Only this moment.
And he would make it count.
Chapter 8
Jillian’s head spun as Alex took control of the kiss, tilting her head to change the angle while he explored her mouth with his tongue. Kissing him had been a wild, impulsive move. She usually over-thought everything, considering a situation from all angles before deciding what to do. But being around Alex short-circuited her thoughts and wreaked havoc on her self-control. Now that she knew how he tasted, how he kissed, it would be even harder to keep her hands to herself.
She pressed herself against his chest, enjoying the feel of his solid strength against her softness. His hand found her lower back, fisting in the cloth of her nightgown to anchor her in place. She was all too happy to comply.
He was a fascinating mix of textures. The skin of his face was smooth where he’d shaved earlier, but there was a small rough patch just under the corner of his jaw where he’d missed a spot. His back was warm and strong, a smooth, irregular line along his rib cage a testament to a previous injury. She traced the scar with her fingertips, imagining the shiny pinkness of it as she moved. The dusting of hair on his stomach and chest felt like silk to her questing hand, and she lingered for a moment, wanting suddenly to feel his bare chest pressed against her skin, to luxuriate in the sensations of full-body contact.
His arousal pressed against her thigh and she continued her exploration of his body, her hand moving down to cup him. He hissed in pleasure when she touched him, his unguarded reaction triggering a wave of satisfaction so intense it nearly stole her breath.
The soft flannel of the pajama pants did nothing to disguise the hardness underneath, but she wanted to feel him without a buffer, needed to touch him with no barriers in place. She moved her hand to the waistband of the pants, but before she could do so much as tug, his hand wrapped around both of hers, stopping her efforts.
“Wait,” he whispered. He pulled back a little but pressed his forehead to hers, keeping them linked. His breath was warm across her face, a feather-light caress over her too sensitive lips. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation as her heart rate and breathing gradually returned to normal.
Unfortunately, as her arousal faded, her brain came back online. Doubts and recriminations filled her mind as she realized the magnitude of what she’d done.
I practically threw myself on him, she thought, mentally chiding herself for being so forward, and with someone who had been her patient, no less. The poor man had to physically restrain me! Guilt and shame flooded her and she wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers and disappear. Since that wasn’t really an option, the next best thing was for her to leave. Now.
Alex’s breathing had evened out, making her think he’d fallen asleep. And no wonder. He’d had a heck of a night, and that was before she’d climbed into his bed and he’d had to defend his battered virtue. Moving slowly, Jillian pulled her hands from his now-slack grasp. Then she rolled onto her back, intending to scoot out of the bed without disturbing him.
She’d just started to move when his arm came around her waist, pinning her in place. She turned to look at him, but Alex’s eyes were closed, his face relaxed. She tried to ease out from under his arm, but he tightened his grip and pulled, dragging her until she was pressed against him. He curved his body to fit around hers, the gesture both protective and possessive. Then he sighed, burrowing his nose into her hair with a little sound of pleasure.
“Mine,” she thought she heard him murmur before his breathing evened out again as he sank back into a deep sleep.
Oh, dear, she thought, a small thrill racing through her limbs as the implications of that one little word registered. You may be right.
* * *
“I just don’t understand it. He was always so strong, so honest.”
Jim DeWinter sat in Dan’s office, looking as though he hadn’t slept in days. He ran a hand through his hair, then passed it across the front of his hopelessly wrinkled shirt before slouching back in the chair.
“Money is a powerful motivator,” Dan said, striving for a sympathetic tone. As Malcom’s case officer, Jim might know where Alex had gone. Dan needed to get him to talk, but if the conversation was going to get anywhere, he’d have to suffer through this inane blubbering first.
Jim shook his head. “Not to Alex. He was never interested in buying things, in living the life.”
“Do you think he was addicted to drugs?”
Jim snapped his head up, narrowing his eyes slightly. “No,” he said emphatically. “He always tested clean. Besides,” he said, sounding thoughtful, “I would have noticed a change in him if he’d been using. You can’t do the kind of stuff the gang deals in without showing some physical signs.”
Dan merely nodded, pretending to care.
“I just wish I knew why he did it,” Jim went on, oblivious to the fact that Dan hadn’t responded. “What made him turn against us? Never in a million years would I have guessed he’d give up information like that. Not at the cost of so many lives.” He slouched in the chair, deflating like a leaking balloon.
A sharp flare of satisfaction burned in Dan’s chest. His secret was still safe. As long as Jim and the rest of the team thought Alex had been the one to betray them, no one would suspect him. And since Alex was missing, he couldn’t contradict their assumptions. Now all he had to do was to ensure Malcom stayed gone. Permanently.
He hadn’t had much luck searching for the lady doctor last night. He’d checked area hospitals, but no one was missing an employee. He couldn’t make further inquiries without raising a few red flags, something he wasn’t willing to do just yet. So he was stuck, unless Jim could shed some light on where Alex might have gone.
“We need to find him,” Dan said firmly. “The only way we’ll know the truth is if we get it from him.”
“I know,” Jim said, sounding miserable. “But I have no idea where he is.”
Damn. That was unfortunate. “You’ve checked his apartment?”
Jim nodded. “Both of them—his real place and his cover. No sign of him, or that he’d been there recently.”
“Did he have a safe spot—a bolt hole of some kind?” Dan persisted.
Jim tilted his head and regarded him with mild sus
picion. “I’m sure he probably does. He’s too smart to not have a backup plan of some kind. But he never told me where it is, and I never asked.”
“You’re his case officer, for crying out loud! How can you not know something like that?”
Jim leaned forward, a new light in his eyes. “I don’t think you understand the kind of life these undercover guys lead,” he said, his voice deceptively quiet. “Alex put his life on the line every damn day. If things went to hell with the gang, he knew there was no way to get backup in time to save him. So yeah, he had a place to retreat and regroup, and no, I didn’t press him for details. And, frankly, I’m wondering why you’re so interested in his whereabouts.”
Dan leaned back in his chair, his thoughts swirling. Jim wasn’t as dumb as he looked; he’d underestimated the man. He had to make it seem as though his interest in Malcom was legit, rather than personal.
“I’m interested,” he replied evenly, “because I owe it to the men and women who died last night to make sure their killer is brought to justice. Malcom may not have pulled the trigger, but he is responsible just the same. And you need to remember that.”
Jim reared back, his face turning the color of putty. “What do you mean by that?” he whispered.
“You’re very quick to defend Alex,” Dan said, going on the attack. “Maybe we need to extend the scope of this investigation, look into how much you knew, and when.”
“I—you—” Jim sputtered, but he was interrupted by the trill of his cell phone. He settled for a glare while he pulled the phone from his pocket and glanced at the display. Then his expression changed, his eyes widening and his eyebrows shooting up. He glanced at Dan. “It’s him,” he hissed.
Dan leaned forward, excitement and adrenaline boiling in his stomach. This was his chance. “Trace the call,” he said. If he had a location, he could send the gang in to collect Malcom before Jim ever got there.
Jim waved a hand in dismissal, and Dan clenched his jaw. Insolent bastard. Not for the first time, Dan cursed his useless legs. If he’d been able, he’d have snatched the phone away from Jim and taken the call himself.
The other man tapped the phone screen and pressed the device to his ear. “Alex?” he said quietly. He reached out to shut the office door, then resumed his seat, curling his body inward like he was cradling something precious.
Dan strained to hear, but he couldn’t make out the other side of the conversation.
“You need to come in, man,” Jim said, his tone pleading. “We can get this all straightened out—” He broke off, then gasped audibly. “What do you mean? What kind of proof—?” He sounded more urgent now and Dan’s ears pricked up at the word “proof.” What did Malcom know, or think he knew? Had Alex somehow discovered his role in all of this?
Jim glanced at him, evidently picking up on his heightened interest.
What’s he saying? he mouthed to Jim, but the other man shook his head. “All right,” he said. “I’ll be there.”
He hung up and stared at the phone in his hand for a moment, as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.
Dan had to bite his tongue to keep from yelling at him, knowing that if he appeared too eager, it would only fan the flames of Jim’s suspicions. “What did he say?” he asked, careful to keep his tone even.
Jim jumped, clearly startled by the question. “He said he didn’t do it,” he replied, sounding a little dazed. “Said he’d been set up.”
“Of course he’d say that,” Dan scoffed. “He knows every federal agent in DC is gunning for him. Just this morning, I spent an hour on the phone with the DC police, keeping them up to date on our search. Malcom isn’t stupid—he’s trying to deflect responsibility for this mess so he can save his own ass.”
“Maybe.” Jim sounded doubtful. “But I still have to investigate what he’s saying. You know I can’t let allegations like that go unchecked.”
Dan nodded, feigning a sincerity he didn’t feel. “I understand. Why don’t you let me help? I can check into some things while you meet with him.”
“That might work.” Jim stood, pocketing the phone with a distracted expression. “I’m going to take care of an errand before I head out.”
“Where are you meeting him? We need to get a team in place.”
Jim was silent for a moment, so Dan decided to press him. “You know we have to bring him in,” he said softly. “But they won’t kill him.”
The other man sighed. “I know. I just... He was my friend. It’s hard to stop thinking of him in that light.”
“I understand,” Dan lied. “Let’s take it one step at a time. No one else has to get hurt.”
“I hope not.” Jim turned to go, stopping at the door. “I’m meeting him at Ben’s Chili Bowl in two hours. Let the guys know.”
“Will do,” Dan said, anticipation building with every step Jim took. When he was sure the other man was far enough down the hall, he wheeled around the desk and shut the door. Then he pulled his burn phone from his pocket and pressed a number.
“Ben’s Chili Bowl. Two hours,” he said to the expectant silence on the other end of the line. “No survivors.”
Chapter 9
“Do you honestly think I’m going to let you walk into an ambush with me?” Alex scowled at Jillian who, despite having just woken up, appeared amazingly sexy with her tousled hair and rumpled nightgown. If he didn’t know better, he’d say she had the look of a woman who’d been well satisfied last night. The thought only served to remind him about their kiss, and he quickly shifted his focus before he let that distraction take over.
“I don’t expect you to let me do anything.” She smiled sweetly up at him, but he wasn’t fooled by her innocent expression. “I’m a grown woman. I’ll do what I want, when I want. And I suddenly have a craving for a chili dog.”
“Doc—” he began, but she raised her hand to cut him off.
“I’m going with you,” she stated. “So you might as well save your breath and your strength.”
“It’s not safe.”
“If it’s not safe for me, then it’s not safe for you, either. I can protect you.”
He shook his head, trying to keep up with her twisted logic. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She sighed, evidently disappointed with his reasoning skills. “You called your case handler because you want to set up a meeting, correct?”
“Yes. But what does that have to do with anything?”
“The way I see it, there are two possible outcomes. One.” She held up a finger in illustration. “Your case handler comes to the meeting, along with a team of agents tasked to bring you into custody. Now, they’re probably quite pissed at you, since they blame you for the deaths of those people last night. I’m sure any number of those guys wouldn’t mind putting a bullet into you as payback, or at the very least, making sure you had a rough time of it during your arrest. If I’m there as a witness, they have to behave themselves, or risk me blabbing to the papers.”
Alex shook his head. “If you’re with me, they’d just treat you as a suspect, too.”
She shrugged. “Probably. That’s why I won’t be with you. I’ll be on the periphery, and when they move in, so will I with my trusty camera.” She held up her phone, waving it back and forth.
There were so many flaws in that plan he didn’t know where to start. So he settled for asking her about option B. “And what’s behind door number two?”
“It’s entirely possible the mole in the FBI will find out about this meeting and send the gang out to intercept you.”
“That’s exactly what I think will happen.”
She nodded. “Me, too. And if I’m there, I can follow them to find out where they take you, then call for help.”
“You do realize they’re more likely to shoot me where I st
and, right?”
She paled a little at that, but shook her head. “No. From what you told me about these guys last night, they won’t be happy to just kill you and be done with it. They’ll want you to suffer first.”
His stomach dropped at the realization that she was probably right. They would want to teach him a lesson, and they would take their time about doing it.
“I still don’t want you there. What if they bring Tony? He could identify you, and then they’d take you, as well.”
“That won’t happen,” she said, sounding more confident than he felt. “Tony isn’t in any shape to be running around town yet. Besides, even if he was, he saved my life last night by warning me. Why would he have done that if he wanted me dead?”
“Tony has a rather warped sense of honor,” Alex said. “You saved his life, so he owed you. As far as he’s concerned, that debt has been paid and he doesn’t owe you anything else. If he saw you again, he wouldn’t think twice about letting the gang take you along, too.”
Jillian was silent for a moment, making Alex think she was reconsidering. Although he didn’t want to leave her, it was for the best. He was a marked man with a lifespan that could probably be measured in days, if not hours. She had her whole life in front of her. And even if she did want to be with him, once she found out about his role in her brother’s death she’d never be able to forgive him. No, there was no way they could be together, and the sooner he left her, the better it would be for his heart. At least he’d been able to spend a few hours with her in his arms...
Finally she stood, giving his chest a pat as she moved past him. “I’m going to hop in the shower,” she proclaimed. “And I’m taking your clothes with me. So unless you intend to head out wearing that—” she raked her gaze over the length of him, taking in the too small clothes and his bare feet “—you’ll have to wait for me.” With a final, smug smile, she left the room. A minute later he heard the bathroom door shut and the lock click into place.