Ian had sent his guys home with instructions to return when it was time for us to leave and help keep the press back. Marco hadn’t looked too happy to be leaving Gina, but I didn’t give a good goddamn about him or his issues.
She stayed behind with the other girls, and I was beyond grateful for it seeing as she was the only thing keeping me sane. Lord only knows how bad things would’ve gotten if she hadn’t been there to talk me down when I started wrecking shit.
I was on my fifth cup of shitty hospital coffee as the sun started peeking over the horizon, casting the waiting room in light pastel colors. Stopping in the doorway, I looked down at Gina sleeping in one of the hard plastic chairs. She was curled up with her knees pulled against her chest, her head resting on Tate’s shoulder. The both of them were using the other as a prop in their sleep. We’d all just experienced the night from hell, and just looking at her soothed the storm brewing inside me. I needed her like I’d never needed anyone in my life.
Garrett spotted me and stood, stretching his huge frame to loosen the muscles from hours in that miserable chair. “You good?” he asked, clapping me on the shoulder when he reached my side.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Can’t wait to get the fuck outta this miserable place.”
“You and me both, brother.”
Just then, the elevator dinged from down the hall and the doors opened, revealing Gwen and Lyla.
“Thank Christ,” Garrett grunted before charging at his woman. After holding her like she was the very reason for his existence, they walked back over, and we entered the waiting room together.
When Lyla got close, I noticed just how ravaged she looked. “Hey, honey. How you doin’?” I greeted, pulling her in for a hug.
At the sound of my voice, Gina and Tate stirred from their sleep. Everyone was awake and alert now, and a second later Declan, Ian, and Corrine joined us from their trek to the cafeteria for a bite to eat.
Lyla’s face was granite as she pulled away and looked around. “Where is he?” she asked in a tone that left no room for argument, whatsoever.
“He was moved to a private room just a little while ago,” Declan replied. “We should all be able to go see him in a little bit.”
“Now,” she demanded harshly. “Take me there right now.”
Something told me things were about to get a lot worse before they got better.
Chapter Twenty-One
Gina
I hesitated to follow the rest of them, feeling it wasn’t my place to encroach on their personal time with Mace. Gwen was with Garrett; Tate with Declan. Corrine was with Ian, who wasn’t just head of security but also a good friend. I was only the assistant. Sure, I was close with all the girls, but I didn’t have the same bond with the guys that the others did.
Content to stay back in the waiting room while they did their thing, I sat down in the chair I’d been taking residence in for more hours than I could count.
Killian stopped at the doorway and looked over his shoulder at me. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
Instead of replying, he came back, took my hand, and pulled me up. “Come on.”
“Killian, no.” I pulled on his grip. “It’s okay. Go be with your friends. I’m fine, and I’ll be right here when you get back. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
“It’s not that,” he said gently, turning back to me and cupping my jaw. “I need you with me. You… help. You keep me grounded, Thumbelina. I need you,” he repeated one last time on a whisper.
The earnestness in his voice tore at my chest. Giving his hand still holding mine a squeeze, I smiled up at him. “Okay then. Let’s go.”
We followed the rest of the group down the long corridor, past countless hospital rooms. The whole place smelled just like Whispering Pines, but instead of making my skin crawl like it usually did, the scent made me homesick. I missed my mom, even how she was now. We were about halfway through the tour, and while I was having the time of my life—aside from the drama in my romantic life—I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could see her again.
Lyla had stopped at the door to the room, closing her eyes and pulling in a deep breath, and I silently tugged on Killian’s hand to get his attention. When he glanced over at me, I tipped my chin to the room, silently indicating that he and the other guys should go on in. He read my meaning and did just that, leaving Lyla, Tate, Gwen, Corrine, and me alone in the hall.
“You okay?” I asked, stepping close to Lyla.
“Yeah,” she answered quietly, smiling a smile that came nowhere near her eyes. “I just need a minute.”
I didn’t want to leave her alone, and I could tell Tate felt the same. The struggle was written all over her face, but eventually she gave a nod, and I took that as my cue and stepped inside, followed by Tate, Gwen, and Corrie.
The second I stepped in Kill extended his arm. I didn’t even think before moving right into him and letting him pull me against that large, strong body. The only thing I had a mind to was being there for him, giving him comfort when he needed it most… taking care of him any way I could.
Mace looked a million times better. Don’t get me wrong, the guy looked like microwaved dog shit, but after last seeing him unconscious and barely breathing, that was a massive improvement.
It felt like everyone was holding their breath, waiting to see what was going to happen. Then the door opened and Lyla walked in, stopping at the foot of his bed, staring in silence. Mace had been sitting up, and his eyes widened in shock at the sight of her.
“Goldie, honey, you didn’t need to come all the way here. It wasn’t that big a deal. I’m fine.”
“Not a big deal,” she asking in a low, seething voice before booming, “Not a big deal?” She moved with the speed of an Olympic sprinter, darting around the side of the bed, rearing back, and slapping Mace so hard my own cheek hurt at the loud crack of the impact. “You selfish son of a bitch!” she shouted in his face. “You almost died!”
“Ly, honey,” Garrett tried to cut in, but she shot him a silencing look before spinning back around.
“You almost fucking killed yourself on my brother’s fucking birthday!”
Mason opened his mouth. “Lyla—”
“Shut up!” She bent at the waist, getting so close they were almost nose-to-nose as she hissed, “You aren’t the only one who lost him, Mason. You don’t have a fucking monopoly on the pain of losing someone you love. Do you have any idea what it did to me to get the call that you were in the hospital? What it did to the rest of the guys, to Tate? Did you even once think about someone other than yourself?”
He didn’t say a word. No one said a word. He just sat there, looking properly castigated while the rest of the guys looked on stoically and Tate quietly cried into Declan’s chest.
“This is over,” she continued, her voice hard. “It ends now. You understand me? It’s done. You even so much as touch another bottle and you’ll never see me again.”
“Goldie.” Mason’s voice was absolutely ravaged.
“No!” All of a sudden, Lyla started to cry. “I’ve lost too much. I’m not going to sit here and watch you self-destruct. You want to check out, you’ll be doing it without me.”
With that, she turned and left.
Looking up at Killian, I whispered, “I’m gonna make sure she gets to the hotel. I don’t want to leave her by herself.”
He nodded, his jaw ticking wildly. “All right, baby.” He kissed me on the forehead and let me go so I could follow Lyla.
The toll of the past twenty-four hours had left me emotionally and physically exhausted. It didn’t help matters that I’d barely gotten an hour of sleep in all that time.
I’d stuck with Lyla since leaving the hospital, getting her set up in a room on our floor and being a shoulder for her to lean on. We’d talked for hours. She opened up to me about Will, and I shared with her all the horrible details of what happened with my mom. I wait
ed until she was all cried out and eventually fell asleep before finally heading back to my own room.
I’d just gotten off the phone with room service when someone knocked on my door.
Opening it, my eyes widened in surprise. “Marco. Hi.”
“Hey, bomboncita.” His smile was brittle as he asked, “Can I come in?”
“Yeah, of course.” Stepping aside, I let him in and closed the door. “Is everything okay? Did something happen with the guys—”
My words were cut off when he took my face in his hands and slammed his mouth down on mine in a fierce, commanding kiss. I hesitated for a handful of seconds before surrendering to all the allure that was Marco.
When he broke away an eternity later, I slowly peeled my eyes open, unable to keep myself from thinking, God, why couldn’t that have been as good as Killian’s?
My thoughts must’ve been written all over my face, because Marco gave me a small, disappointed smile and pulled me in for a hug. “I’m fighting a losing battle, aren’t I?”
I was a terrible person. Dropping my cheek to his chest, I squeezed my arms around his waist tightly. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, tears working their way up my throat.
Marco placed his fingers beneath my chin and lifted my face. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”
“I tried not to feel anything for him, I swear.”
“Shh.” His thumb rested over my lips to stop me. “I knew when I saw you with him in that waiting room. You didn’t even realize what you were doing, you just reacted. You can’t help who you have feelings for, bomboncita. I should know, because even though it’s him for you, I can’t stop wanting you.”
My forehead fell to his chest. “Marco,” I breathed raggedly.
“I wish you could control it. Maybe then I’d have had a chance.”
Looking up into those amazing hazel eyes, I said, “You have to believe me. If I could’ve stopped this—”
“I know.”
Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears broke free and made tracks down my cheeks. “I wish it was you.”
“Me too, sweetheart. You got no fuckin’ clue how much I wish that.”
After one last squeeze, he let me go. With a sniffle, I stepped back, swiping at my cheeks with the heels of my palms. “So what do we do now?”
What he said next only made the crushing weight of my guilt that much heavier. “I’m leavin’. Ian’s hookin’ me up with his guy in Virginia. I’ll be transferring there.”
“What?” I gasped. “Marco, no! Don’t do this, not because of me. This is your job!”
“Whoa, whoa.” He let out a laugh. “Relax, I’m not quittin’ because we didn’t work out.”
“Then why?” I demanded, propping my hands on my hips.
Marco scrubbed his hand through his hair before answering. “Honestly, it’s something I’ve been considering for a while. Truth is, I probably would’ve done it before this tour if I hadn’t met you.” And the hits just keep on coming. “When I got in this business I did it to help people, not to babysit a bunch of celebrities. Ian was my boy, so when he offered me a job I jumped on it, but this was never what I wanted to do. I stuck it out a little longer in the hopes of building somethin’ with you, but it’s time, bomboncita.”
The fight drained out of me, causing my entire body to slump. “This is all my fault.”
“It isn’t,” he argued. “I won’t lie and tell you I’m not disappointed that it didn’t work out for us, but it’s not your fault.”
“I wasted your time. I never should’ve—”
“Stop.” Moving to me, he grabbed my face gently and spoke in a soft, reassuring voice. “You didn’t string me along, if that’s what you’re worried about. I told you, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. You asked me to wait, and I did because that’s what I wanted to do. I always knew there was a chance I wouldn’t win in the end, so stop beating yourself up.”
There was no talking him out of this, I could see it written on his face. And I had no right to even try. I’d been selfish enough. “So when do you leave?”
“Tonight.”
“Wow. That fast.”
“Ian’s buddy Lincoln needs someone quick for a job that just came across his desk.” He hesitated for a second. “Look, I hate to say this, but I gotta go. I need to pack and get to the airport. I just wanted to tell you in person.”
“I appreciate that,” I croaked, feeling ten million kinds of awful. “Promise me one thing. Promise you’ll be safe and take care of yourself.”
“You have my word,” he answered with sincere smile. “And you do the same, yeah?”
“I will.”
Marco started for the door. I followed after until he stopped and turned around to face me. His expression grew serious as he spoke one last time. “You need me, I’m here, okay? Anything, any time. You just call and I’m here.”
Unable to say a word, I nodded.
Then he leaned in and placed one last kiss on my lips. “Be happy, bomboncita.”
“You too, cariño.”
“Ah, Christ,” he groaned, placing a hand over his heart and looking to the heavens. “And now she’s speaking Spanish.”
I let out a little giggle and waved as he started down the hall. Closing the door, a wave of sorrow crashed over me. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to make the right choices, I always ended up with more regrets.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Killian
The last thing I wanted to do was watch Gina walk out that door earlier, but I knew why she felt she needed to be there for Lyla, and I couldn’t in my right mind prevent her from taking care of a friend when she felt it necessary.
But I wished like hell she was still with me now, because this was a conversation I never wanted to have.
“You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” Mace snarled.
The hospital had finally discharged him, and we were all back at the hotel, having a band meeting in Mace’s suit.
“Not in the slightest,” Garrett answered, his arms crossed over his chest. We’d just dropped the bomb that it was booze or the band, but both were no longer an option.
“You can’t kick me outta the goddamn band!”
“We will if that’s what it takes for you to get your shit together,” Declan stated. “We’ve sat back and let this go on way too fuckin’ long. You’re killing yourself, man! If last night did anything, it made that perfectly clear. We lost one brother already. We won’t lose another.”
Mace looked like he was about to argue, so I jumped in. “Did seeing what you put Lyla through register at all?” His mouth instantly clamped shut, but my anger was at a full boil, unable to be contained. “Did you fuckin’ think about anybody when you decided to try and drown yourself in Jack?” I snarled. “Did you ever even consider what it would do to us if we lost you too? Fuck the band! Fuck all that shit. Did you even consider how it would make any of us feel?”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“Of course you didn’t fuckin’ mean to! But that doesn’t matter anymore. We’re done makin’ excuses, no more defending you. You have to the end of the tour to get your shit together, or you’re out. And if you so much as look at another goddamn bottle, I’ll drag you to rehab by your fuckin’ hair. We clear?”
“Yeah,” he rasped, swallowing thickly. “We’re clear.”
“Good. Now get some goddamn rest.” With that, I stormed out of the room and headed for my own, only to stop before reaching the door and turn back around. Gina was several doors down from mine in the other direction, and it felt like getting to where I needed to be took forever.
I pounded on her door, so desperate for her that I barely registered her wet hair, or the flimsy robe she was wearing.
“Kill! What’s going on? Is everything—?”
Forcing my way into her room, I slammed the door behind me and spun around, stalking her slowly like a lion playing with his prey. “Everything’s total shit,” I growled as
she backed away with wide eyes. “Mace is a goddamn mess, the band’s a disaster, we’re in the middle of a fuckin’ tour I don’t even want to be on, and the only time I can breathe is when I’m with you. So tell me, Thumbelina, what the fuck am I supposed to do, huh?”
“I don’t… I….”
“Please,” I hissed, charging her and taking her face in my hands. “Tell me what to do. How am I supposed to get through all this shit on my own when all I wanna do is crawl into you and stay there for the rest of my life?”
“Kill….” Her voice was a barely there whisper.
“Tell me there’s nothing between us, that you don’t feel anything for me, and I’ll walk away. I’ll leave right now, hand to God. You just say the words and I’m gone.”
Dread filled my chest. Before we almost lost Mace, I was content to stay in our twisted, screwed-up limbo. But now… well, life was just too goddamn short.
“I can’t,” she said on a pained whisper. “I can’t tell you that. I wish I could, but you’re under my skin.”
That was all I needed to hear. I was on her in an instant, not giving a second thought to anything but how badly I craved her, her body, her strength, her calm.
Our lips crashed together in a messy kiss overflowing with frantic desire. Gina opened for me immediately, moaning as her tongue tangled with my own. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough when it came to her.
My fingers grabbed at her robe, ripping it open so every inch of her sinful body was exposed to me. Her smooth, dewy skin glistened from her shower, and my lips made a trail from her jaw to her chest, sucking and licking at each lingering drop of water along their way.
Consume (Civil Corruption Book 3) Page 13