by Gary Jonas
“Everyone’s soul is fractured with fear,” said Jiggs.
“Not mine,” I said. My fear had been taken from me as a girl.
Jiggs raised his eyebrows. “You’re wrong, Ms. Chan. Your fears are deep and you haven’t faced all of them. Trust me on that. Your fear shines.”
“But I’m not afraid of anything.”
“You don’t feel fear now, Kelly. But you did once. Once you were very, very frightened. And that fear is still trapped within your soul, glowing throughout your body for any Kin to see.” Jiggs looked away, but not before I saw the hunger in his eyes.
Kess poured more tea while Jiggs composed himself. “We used to be revered for what we did. The cultures who still expose their dead to the elements remember us, or at least our purpose. The birds and the wild beasts and the elements, we are these. Then things changed.”
“The Men of Anubis for one,” said Jiggs. “They are, and have always been, assholes.”
“You can say that again,” I toasted Jiggs.
“They tried to preserve the dead, keep them from us. Let me tell you, it doesn’t work. Eating a body preserved with natron is like popping open a fresh bag of potato chips. Yum yum!”
“Jiggs!” both Kess and Lee said.
My thoughts returned to Liz. I was beginning to put some things together about her. Things I didn’t like. “So what about vampires? You said they are descended from you.”
“More like taken from us,” Kess said. “By wizards and witches, long ago. DGI is hardly the first group of wizards to band together. Thousands of years ago, they recognized our strength and tried to turn it to their advantage. No one remembers what caused a widespread bloom that time. It could have been a plague or a natural disaster. It doesn’t matter. All we know is that after the bloom, they came for our children. They twisted them with magic, turned them into monsters who feed on living blood, who cannot bear the light they once served. They did this so that they would have an army to conquer the world. But the vampires turned on their masters, and the war devastated both sides. They called a wary truce, and now the two groups circle, keeping each other in check, sniping the other when they can. Always vying for domination, neither side ever quite winning.”
“Lucky for the rest of us,” I said.
Kess nodded. “But both sides are always looking for an edge. And the wizards at DGI have remembered the Kin.”
“Which brings us to our current problem,” Jiggs said.
“Finally.” Lee drummed her fingers on the table.
Jiggs ignored Lee. He was good at it, probably from years of practice. “When you get kicked around and degraded for thousands of years, you believe you’re worthless. You try to compensate, try to imitate the ones who have put themselves above you.” Jiggs brushed his suit. “But you still feel inferior. You’re still looking for that validation.”
“Then the most recent bloom happened,” Kess said, smiling at me. “Thank you for that.” She spread her arms out. “Babies everywhere. A happy time for the Kin. We’re all about family.”
“Happy times, until those babies started disappearing.” A sad look passed between Jiggs and Kess.
“They even went after the ones born before the bloom.” Lee’s quiet voice contrasted with her earlier pushiness.
“DGI took your children. Why aren’t the Kin fighting the wizards to get them back?”
“Two reasons.” Jiggs held out his hand like he had back in the tunnel, one finger extended. “First, we weren’t sure who was taking them. The wizards aren’t stupid. To avoid a huge protest, they kept things on the down low and they went after the marginalized kids.”
“Marginalized kids?”
“The children of outcasts.” Jiggs rubbed under his chin.
“Outcasts like you, who have the taste for the living.”
“Yes. We’re still Kin, but sometimes it feels like that in name only.”
Lee tilted her head in sympathy. “You are still Kin, to a lot of us.”
I finished my cookie. “So when did they start going after your young adults?”
All three ghouls looked at me bemusedly.
“Sekutar 3.0. The ones you don’t want me to fight.”
“You don’t understand,” Kess said. “Those are children. Not a one of them is over the age of four.”
I was fighting toddlers? “The wizards have manipulated them that much already?”
“No,” said Jiggs. “We mature that quickly. Our lives are short compared to yours. I’m fifteen years old.”
“You don’t look a day over twelve,” Kess said, running her hand through his graying hair. He grabbed her fingers and kissed them.
Still holding Kess’s hand, Jiggs said, “The wizards manipulated our lifespans when they made vampires, thinking immortal warriors were a great idea. That one really blew up in their faces. Now they see our short lives as a bonus.”
Kess leaned forward. “Kelly, what’s wrong?”
I barely heard her. When DGI engineered me, took away my pain, gave me almost unlimited healing power, I thought they’d made me immortal, too. Now I wasn’t so sure. The headaches, the weakness, the pain from magical weapons, the sporadic healing. What if they’d built in a kill switch, and that switch had gone live?
“Just an adrenaline crash. I’m fine.” A partial truth.
I could tell they didn’t buy it.
“We’ve overwhelmed you,” Kess said, pushing the plate of cookies at me again. “I should have let you rest first.”
“No. I need to know what I’m up against and why. I’ll be fine, I promise.” I took another cookie. For someone who didn’t eat regular food, Kess was an amazing baker. “Jiggs, you said there were two reasons why the ghou— Sorry, Kin, aren’t fighting back.” I washed a bite of cookie down with tea.
“Yes, and you saw the other reason today. DGI has been going through some massive personnel changes at the top.”
I set my cup down. “Actually, throughout the whole organization. They hired Amanda a few months back. The witch who gave you the no-kill button.”
Kess nodded. “We know Amanda. She’s been good to our family.”
“If she’s working for DGI, I don’t know if we should trust her anymore,” Lee said.
I stared at Lee. “She’s my friend. I’ll vouch for her, anytime, anywhere.”
“And you have your katana to back it up, I know.” Lee looked over at my sword, now lying on the couch.
“Ladies,” Jiggs put his hands up, palms forward. “This is what I’m talking about. We’re fighting about the wrong things. It’s not Amanda causing trouble, it’s her boss.”
“She’s our boss, too.” Kess’s voice dripped sarcasm. I was relieved to see she could be more than sweetness and light. “For the past two years, she’s risen in power among the Kin, telling us we should be proud and reclaim our dignity. That we should stop doing the dirty work of cleaning up after the wizards and vampires and whoever else who hires us without understanding the Good Work we do. And if we turn our children over to her care, she’ll see to it that they grow up strong and overthrow our wizard oppressors.”
“You mean Liz.”
Kess nodded. “She’s one of us. She’s Kin.”
Liz was a ghoul? I remembered the day Amanda introduced her, how I suddenly understood why Amanda wanted to work all the time. Hell, I was tempted to go back to work for DGI if it meant being around Liz. I was so blinded by her charisma that I didn’t see what she really was. Just like a vampire.
“She’s got your people charmed.” And Amanda, too. And probably – no, definitely – the wizards at DGI who hired her. But to what end?
“Not all of us,” Jiggs said. “That’s why we’re divided, fighting. Some Kin are willing to give away their kids, thinking that we’ll have a stronger future through them. Others see only a bloody sacrifice.”
“She works for DGI, your sworn enemy.”
“So? A lot of us do. She claims she’s going to bring them down fro
m within.”
“Using your children.”
“And today you and I saw how. Maybe.” Jiggs shook his head. “I need to talk to our Kin, make them see that she’s really using us. But I don’t know why. I don’t know what DGI could offer her.” He clenched his fists in frustration. “I’m still missing something.”
I stood up. “I don’t care why Liz is in it with DGI. I’ve made up my mind. Take me back, Jiggs. I’ve wasted my time sitting around here for story hour. I know you think Jessica is safe for now, but I don’t believe it. I’ve seen what’s going on. She’ll be fed to the new Sekutar if I don’t do something. And I have to tell Amanda about Liz.”
“She might already know,” Lee said. “And she’s chosen her side.”
“Amanda’s not like that. Liz may just have her fooled. But if she’s under some sort of charm, I have to break her out of it.” I remembered how humiliating and dangerous it was to be spellbound. “I’m sorry about your kids, but I’ve got my own people to look out for. I’m leaving.”
“Finally!” Lee stood up next to me. “Let’s all go. We can let Kelly do her thing while we sneak off to a safer place. She’s the perfect diversion.”
“No, please!” Kess looked desperately at Lee, then at me. “Please, Kelly. You’re our best chance.”
“They have your kid, don’t they?” I tried to look sympathetic.
This time, Kess’s smile was all sunshine. “No. Not if you protect us.”
“Daddy?” A child’s voice came from behind me. I turned and saw a little girl in the doorway to the hall. She looked about eight in human years, maybe ten at the most. She wore pink pajamas and carried a stuffed rabbit. Soft brown hair fell past her shoulders. Her skin was as gray as stone. An innocent little girl put in danger by the stupidity of the adults around her. Just like another little girl I’d helped only months before. Cho.
“There’s my baby girl!” Jiggs stood and opened his arms and the girl ran into them. He picked her up and swung her around the room while she laughed.
“I missed you, Daddy!”
“I missed you too.” He raspberried her cheek to more shrieks of laughter. Kess laughed too as she watched them.
“Did you bring me something good to eat, Daddy?”
Jiggs’ face turned serious as he looked over at Kess. “No, Baby, I’m sorry.”
The girl looked at me with a tentative smile. “Who are you?”
Kess stepped around the table and put a hand on my shoulder. “This is Miss Chan. She’s here to help keep you safe.” Kess looked at me and her eyes filled with water. She blinked her tears back quickly. “Miss Chan, this is our daughter, Bliss.”
The little girl’s smile widened. “Swords are cool.”
Needless to say, I changed my plans.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Lee paced back and forth while Kess sat down on the sofa with Bliss and opened a book. Jiggs watched his wife and daughter, reluctant to talk now that Bliss was awake and in the room.
“I hate this,” he said in a low voice. “All I want is what any dad wants. A chance to provide for his family and raise his kid in peace. She doesn’t deserve this. She’s a sweet girl. Loves to read, loves astronomy.”
“I love lungs!” Bliss said from the couch.
Jiggs smiled and shook his head. “Ears like a bat on that one. Hey, Bliss, mind your own business while the adults talk.”
Bliss ignored her dad. “You know what else I love? Brraaaiiiiiinssss!”
Kess frowned. “Who let you watch The Walking Dead?”
“Can I be a zombie for Halloween next year, Daddy?”
“Sure, whatever you like.” Jiggs shrugged and lowered his voice again. “Kids. They grow up so fast. She’ll be three by next October – too old to dress up and go trick or treating.”
“No I won’t!”
“She eats candy? I thought Kin only ate…?”
“She collects the candy and passes it on to a human kid at the end of the night. Adult Kin can eat the occasional burger and fries, but only to pass for human. Young Kin have a very restricted diet.”
Oh. That day Tally’s. I suddenly saw events through different eyes.
Jiggs stood up. “Hey, Kess? I think Kelly and I are gonna go out in the foyer to talk.”
“I’ll come with you,” Lee said. “I still haven’t told you what I heard when I was out.” She glanced down at Bliss. Whatever it was she wanted to say, she didn’t want the girl to hear.
Kess looked nervous. “Bliss and I can go in the other room instead, give you all some privacy.”
“Not with those big ears listening in.” He winked at Bliss and then looked at his wife. “We’ll be fine, Honey.”
Jiggs touched the wall we’d passed through earlier. It wavered like before and Jiggs stretched out his hand for me to take. Lee followed behind me. I felt the same pressure going through the wall, my head throbbed, and then we were outside the room and back in the tunnel full of ambient light.
Jiggs looked even grayer in the face, if that were possible. Lee doubled over in distress. She waved off any help. “I’ll be fine in a minute,” she said between gasps. I wasn’t feeling so hot myself, and that unnerved me.
Jiggs wiped sweat off his forehead. “Sorry about that. Magic and shadow combined make it difficult to pass, even when the spell is keyed for your body.”
So that was it. The shadow passage was laced with additional magic, and any wizard magic I encountered now actually caused me pain and weakened me. Maybe that’s how they triggered the kill switch after activating it. Like a dog with one of those invisible fences that shocked it when it went over the line, I’d feel pain every time I crossed paths with magic, until I learned to stay in my place.
Or until I died.
I was never very good at coloring inside the lines.
Jiggs took a moment to pull himself together. “Bliss is more afraid than she’s letting on, and we don’t want to scare her any more. So here’s the deal. There are ten outcast families who originally pitched in the dough to hire you, including us. They’re in hiding, too, and some of them have already lost their children. We drew straws to see who would contact you. Luck of the draw, you got me.” Jiggs sneered.
I tentatively put my hand on Jiggs’ shoulder. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said before, about the dead girl in the box. As soon as you said ‘restricted diet’ I understood what happened at Tally’s. You were just trying to feed Bliss, weren’t you?”
“Yeah. Before the bloom, fresh whole bodies became harder to come by, and we need the bodies to be newly-dead and intact, every last bit, to get to all the fear. It’s important for an adult’s health, but it’s crucial for our children, until about age four. If they haven’t eaten well enough by then, they grow up malnourished, always hungry. They grow up damaged. Like me.”
“That’s how ghouls … Kin … acquire their taste for living flesh, isn’t it? They’re malnourished as kids.”
Jiggs nodded. “And then one day you take the forbidden bite. It’s hard to come back from that. Real hard.” He tapped the nodule under his chin. “I owe Amanda big time. Back when I worked for DGI myself, they contracted with her to put kill-buttons in for employees and their family members with the taste. Nice health benefit, actually. Kess had one too, but she asked Amanda to remove it a month ago.”
So Kess had the taste, too. “Why would she have her kill-button removed?”
“She wants to set a good example for Bliss. Show our girl the taste can be controlled through willpower. Just in case Bliss needs to know how to do it one day.” The pain was clear in Jiggs’ eyes.
“How close is your daughter to malnutrition?”
“Too close.” Jiggs frowned. “The ghoul,” Jiggs spat out the epithet, “that you saw take the arm out of the Dumpster? That body had been left there for Kess to take home, part of a deal we have with a certain wizard family in town that has a tendency to make their enemies disappear completely.”
“Please tel
l me the bodies stay outside the restaurant.”
“The restaurant’s got nothing to do with it. They have no clue. The Dumpster is just a convenient drop-off point since Kess works there. The ghoul stole part of the body as a warning: Turn over your daughter and she’ll be fed, otherwise she’ll starve and become a permanent outcast like you and your husband.”
“You guys really are at war with each other.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Jiggs paced back and forth as he talked.
“Kin are supposed to share. We don’t let anyone’s kids go hungry if we can help it. Sure, there are lean years when the whole bodies are scarce and hunger’s unavoidable.”
“The years when we grew up,” Lee said. “Kess sacrificed her own health so that I wouldn’t develop the taste.” Tears stood in her eyes.
“Last time I tried to get Bliss a decent meal, I learned just how divided we are. That guy back at DGI with New Mother, his name’s Marcus. He held a rally in the old ballroom, tried to recruit the last of us to New Mother’s cause. I went for the buffet. Up on stage, Marcus had a tableful of fresh, whole corpses. A big old bribe from New Mother.
“The crowd rushed the stage, all pretense of civility gone. I ran with them, grabbed the first body I could. A girl, perfect for Bliss, not a single piece missing!” Jiggs rubbed at his no-kill button, his eyes glowing orange at the memory.
“I resisted my urges – I was starving, too – and ran back through the ballroom. Then two of my own second cousins blocked my way. ‘Where do you think you’re going with that?’ one of them said. I answered that Kin share. It’s what we do.
“So then he said, ‘Do you finally pledge yourself to New Mother? Will you make the sacrifice and give us your daughter?’
“I had this perfect body in my arms, right? Exactly what Bliss needed. But more than that, she needed protection from New Mother. I thought there would be other opportunities for food. Well, I hoped, at least. So I said, ‘No. I won’t. Ever.’
“I didn’t see the fist coming until it connected with my jaw and sent me to the floor. One cousin pulled the girl away from me while the other picked me back up and half-dragged me to the back of the ballroom.