What Caroline Wants

by Amanda Abbott

  He held her steady for a moment as he eased out of her. The porn behind them was too loud, so he grabbed the remote off the dresser and punched mute. “What are you talking about? You just had a huge, unbelievable orgasm. It was incredible!”

  “First of all, none of what you just told me better be true, Jason Stratton,” she fumed. “Those were cheap shots to get me hot, right? If they weren’t, I’m moving myself into the nearest hotel while you put the house on the market. I told you I didn’t want our neighbors knowing about our sex life. I was very clear about that, so this better be a joke.”

  Jace helped his wife out of the contraption. “Of course it wasn’t true,” he said. “Well, the swing is Michael and Piper’s, but I’m returning it to them as soon as ours gets delivered. I had to order it from Sweden, and it was going to take too long to get here. But there’s no intercom, and I didn’t breathe a word to Michael about what we were doing.” Another slap. “Ow! Caroline, what’s gotten in to you? We just had great sex. Who cares how we got there?”

  “I do! I care!” Once she was out of the swing, she stalked toward the door, bending over on the way out to grab her clothes, slamming the door behind her.

  Jace followed, grabbing his boxer briefs as he went. He opened the door. “Hey, wait a second!” he called, one leg in his underwear. But Caroline was already up the stairs.

  Once he got his briefs on, he bounded up to the kitchen, where his wife was already dressed, standing in front of the fridge with the door open. She took out a carton of orange juice. He watched her grab a glass and quietly sit at the kitchen table. He walked over and pulled out the chair next to hers and sat. “Come on, Caroline, you have to talk to me. This is crazy.”

  “And exactly what would you like to talk about? Hmm?” she asked, her voice as angry as he’d ever heard it. “That you believe the only thing that gets me to come is talking about our neighbors?”

  Jace shrugged as he sat back. “I used what worked. I didn’t, for a single moment, think I shouldn’t. I threw out Michael and Piper, and you instantly got hotter. There was nothing wrong with that. Our sex life is still private. I have no idea why you’re so upset. We banter all the time in bed.”

  She picked up her glass, now full of juice, and drained it, then set it back down. “You know, I would’ve had an orgasm without you saying those things.” Her face was set. “I was hooked into a freaking sex swing! With porn blaring in the background. Do you honestly think there wasn’t enough stimulation around me to have a great orgasm? I was almost there on my own without all the extra tidbits, and then you had to go and add other people!”

  Jace grabbed the OJ carton and upended it, drinking straight from the spout. After he finished it, he set it down and tried to figure out how to soothe his upset wife. “I know you would’ve orgasmed, but I wanted it to be amazing, so I used what I thought would work the best. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was off-limits to make things up. I was never trying to upset you. Over the last week, we’ve had great sex, and I didn’t think you wanted to go back to ordinary, so I brought up the stuff that’s gotten us heated. That’s it.”

  “Ordinary? How is our sex life ordinary when I’m cinched up in a harness dangling from the ceiling?” Caroline asked, her expression amazed. “And how could you not know I was still sensitive about the neighbors after what happened with Piper in this very kitchen? It’s like you have rocks tumbling around in your head instead of a brain. I don’t need our friends thrown in my face every time we have sex for the rest of my life! I don’t care how hot it makes me. I want it to stop!”

  Jace realized she was shaking and leaned forward, grasping one of her wrists. She let him, which he took as a win. “Caroline, I hear what you’re saying, and I won’t do it again if you don’t want me to. But there’s no shame in what we just did. You have to realize that. You were hot, you were horny, and you would’ve come on your own, but when I brought up other people, you went into overdrive. I like you in overdrive. The best sex we have is in that gear. I will honor your request, but I’m not agreeing with.”

  Caroline yanked her hand away from him and stood, backing away from the table. “If the thing with Piper hadn’t happened, you might have a case, but it did. We can’t change that. But you brought their sex trapeze into our house! It doesn’t matter if you told them when it was happening—they know we’re using it. And now they’re free to think about it whenever they want to. This is becoming some kind of a sick Depraved Housewives, and I’m not interested in seeing the next episode!” She turned and stalked out of the room.

  Jace got up and followed. “Care, wait,” he called. His conversation with Michael was at the forefront of his mind, and he needed to get it out. “I think you might be upset for an entirely different reason.”

  “And what different reason is that?” She spun around, her blonde hair fanning out around her, her face still flushed from their recent activities. She looked beautiful, even angry. “My reason isn’t good enough for you?”

  He glanced at the floor before meeting her gaze. “I think you’re pushing back because you like what I said too much, that maybe this is…your thing.”

  “What thing?” She placed her hands on her hips.

  His eyes searched hers. “You like the idea of others being in our bedroom, and it scares the hell out of you.”

  6

  __________________________

  ____________

  Caroline had been relieved Piper had canceled their lunch date the day after her wine-soaked hangover, and for the rest of the week she’d successfully dodged her calls and texts. She was still smarting over Jason’s comments about her liking what he’d said and wanting more in the bedroom, but they’d come to a tentative truce not to discuss it anymore. It wasn’t getting them anywhere to keep arguing about it.

  In the end, Jace had promised not to bring up the neighbors in their bedroom, and she promised to forgive him and move on.

  But there hadn’t been any time to test it, since they hadn’t had sex in five days.

  “Yes, that sounds good,” Caroline said into the phone. “The order is for two hundred cards, plus envelopes. Yes. Send me the invoice once it goes out. Thanks, Ellen. Talk to you soon.” She hung up and turned back to her computer.

  The rap on the kitchen door was tentative.

  “Crap.” Caroline sighed. It was likely Piper. Her best friend had finally decided to call her bluff. Reluctantly, Caroline rose from her desk and padded into the kitchen. Through the window in the back door, Piper held up a carton of praline ice cream, Caroline’s favorite, and a bag from SoHo, which she knew held her favorite sushi.

  “Am I welcome here?” Piper called through the glass. “I come bearing gifts.” She shook the bags. “And sweets.”

  Caroline laughed.

  She couldn’t help it. She’d missed her friend, and seeing her at the door made it crystal clear. “Of course you’re welcome here, Piper. Come in.” She unlocked the door, trying not to feel guilty that she’d been locking it, and ushered her friend into the house.

  “Oh my goodness, Caroline.” Piper breezed through the short hallway and into the kitchen. Once she was there, Piper threw the treats on the counter and pulled Caroline in for a big bear hug. “I had horrid visions all week of you never letting me back in again. I’ve had nightmares where I sneak over here and you’ve painted all the windows black and don’t answer the door, and when you finally do answer, it’s some strange old lady who looks like a cross between Carol Burnett and Rosie O’Donnell. She answers the door and yells at me to get the hell out of her sight, all while shaking her fist in the air and using curse words that would make a sailor want to call his mother and apologize. Not fun at all.” She let Caroline go reluctantly. “It’s so good to see you, and doubly good you let me in. I’m grateful.”

  Caroline had hugged her friend back, and now she felt even guiltier that she’d locked Piper out all week—not only out of her house, but essentially out of her life. It wasn’t P
iper’s fault Caroline felt the way she did. Or that she was still struggling to come to grips with her daydreams. “I’m glad to see you, too. Let’s sit at the island. I’m starving.”

  “I got your favorite, it’s the zesty crunch roll.” Piper retrieved the SoHo bag and began to unload the containers onto the counter. “After we stuff ourselves with sushi, the plan is to cry into the praline ice cream together until we’re all out of tears.”

  “Why are we crying?” Caroline asked, getting out two plates and a bottle of soy sauce and bringing them to the island.

  Piper took the ice cream to the freezer. “Um, because I was in attendance during a very intimate time between you and your husband, which is why you’ve been avoiding me like the plague all week. And, I’m telling you right now, we’re going to get through this—but in order to do so, we’ll have to dig deep into this carton of joy”—she shook the ice cream—“and cry our eyes out until there’s nothing left. But when it’s all said and done, we’ll be best friends again. That’s how all this works.” She set the ice cream in the freezer and shut the door. “And if that doesn’t do the trick, I’ll just bring over burgers and brownies for lunch tomorrow, and we’ll try it again.”

  Caroline chuckled as she pulled out a stool. “There’s no need to keep plying me with treats. This will work. I just needed…some time to process everything. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”

  “Puh-leeze. I should have known better than to let it get that far, so I’m going to be the first one to apologize.” Piper sat down, immediately plucking out the to-go chopsticks, tearing the wrappers off, and handing a set to Caroline. “I should never have shared so much with you in the first place. That was rule break number one. I’ve been on a sexual odyssey for years. I’ve coped with my fair share of guilt and self-loathing along the road, but during our chat I boiled all that hand-wringing and self-doubt down to nothing. I made it sound like it was so easy! Like everyone could do it! And if they didn’t choose to step over society’s sexual line in the sand, they were stupid for not trying. That was so wrong of me. This is a serious topic, and I should’ve treated it as such. I hope you accept my sincerest of apologies.”

  Caroline popped the cover off her sushi and contemplated Piper’s words. “Piper, I’m a grown woman who can think for herself, and it doesn’t matter how you spun your story the other night. You could’ve said unicorns and rainbows sprang out of your hoo-ha every time you had sex and I still should’ve shown restraint. I acted like a child who wanted a piece of candy immediately and would have had a tantrum if I didn’t get a piece. It was totally my fault.”

  “Hoo-ha?” Piper chortled. “I think we’re well beyond hoo-has and straight on to vaginas. Or, at the very least, we can call them what they are—divine pleasure centers. And you acted appropriately. You’re not to blame. We were drunker than skunks, and we got there very quickly. I should’ve kept my big, fat mouth shut. You’re not me, and I’m not you. What we want, and how we prefer sex, is an extremely personal choice, and it’s not up for discussion after this. I purged, you listened, and now we leave it alone. My preference would be that we pretend that night never happened. It was a wine-induced hallucination and nothing more. I wish I had one of those memory-erasing things like they had in Men In Black. If I had one, I’d use it.” She mocked holding something in her fist and aimed at Caroline’s head. “Poof. Now it’s gone, and we go back to our normal, blissful selves.”

  Piper was one of a kind.

  Caroline took a bite of sushi, and while she ate, she thought about agreeing with Piper and just letting the discussion go, never to be brought up again. That would be the easiest. But the warring feelings inside her thrummed against her chest, the truth needing to get out one way or another.

  If she couldn’t trust Piper with this, who could she talk to?

  But instead of saying anything, she got up and went to the cupboard and took out two water glasses, setting them on the island, and then headed to the fridge. Over her shoulder, she asked, “Do you want regular water or seltzer? I also have soda or juice.”

  “Regular water is fine. Just make sure there’s no alcohol in it.” Piper snorted. “No need for a repeat performance of what got us here in the first place. I’m not mentally ready for round two yet.”

  “Me neither. Water coming up, the wine stays put.” Caroline pulled a ready pitcher of filtered water out of the fridge and poured them each a glass. She handed Piper hers and took a sip of her own before she sat back down on her stool and picked up her chopsticks, clicking them together absentmindedly. “So”—she directed the sticks at another sushi roll—“what if I told you I didn’t want to let the conversation go? That I don’t really want to forget about what happened here the other night?” Then she conveniently popped another roll into her mouth so she wouldn’t have to answer for a minute.

  “Huh?” Piper said, taking a swig of her water, her head angled at Caroline. Then she coughed and had to pound on her chest. When she was more composed, and could get the words out, she sputtered, “What did you just say? I don’t think I heard you right. You want to continue this conversation?”

  Caroline swallowed, but couldn’t help grinning at her friend, who was still trying to clear the errant liquid out of her lungs. “Maybe I do.” She took a sip of her own water. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

  * * *

  Jace couldn’t focus on his work. All he could think about was his wife. She’d been distant all week. They’d talked about what had happened with the swing a little more and had come to an agreement. He wouldn’t bring up other people again, and they both promised to move forward.

  Caroline had insisted she was fine, but he knew better.

  They hadn’t had sex in days. He’d tried to coax her down to the basement bedroom to try out the bed with the mirrors, but she’d mumbled some reason or another for why she wasn’t up for it.

  What Michael had said about not being able to go back to ordinary was beginning to plague him. He’d made a promise to Caroline not to infuse anything extra into their lovemaking, but he couldn’t help thinking that the next time they had sex it would be stale, both of them knowing what it could be, but neither of them mentioning it.

  That could be the first nail in the coffin.

  He ran a hand through his hair right as his phone rang. He plucked it up, hopeful it was his wife. “Hello, this is Jason Stratton.” A regular customer from Nebraska was on the line, an old farmer who bought from the company regularly. “Oh, hi, Buck. Yep, I can check on that, no problem. I’ve been just fine, and so has the missus. I’ll tell her you said so. Yep, the weather is nice up here. Let me check on that shipment, and I’ll call you back within the hour.” He hung up.

  Jace had to find a way to busy himself with work so he wouldn’t call Caroline again. He had already tried her twice in the last hour, but she wasn’t answering. It wasn’t like her, and he couldn’t imagine she was drunk in the kitchen with Piper again. But it was only two hours until quitting time. He just had to get through the rest of the day. It was Friday night, and he’d just made reservations for a nice dinner date out. Once he got home, he’d convince her to go out, and once they got there he’d beg her to tell him what the real problem was so they could fix it.

  They had to get back to some kind of normal—he cringed—soon, or it was going to make him crazy. But, truth be told, he’d do anything to keep his wife happy—even if it was ordinary.

  * * *

  “Run that by me again.” Piper rinsed her hands under the faucet. They’d finished lunch and were cleaning up. “You’re scared of what, exactly?”

  Caroline had decided to trust Piper and confess everything that had been swirling through her mind this week. As well as last week. The feelings inside were wearing her out, and this wasn’t something she could confide to Jason—yet. She wanted to get it all sorted out in her own mind before they had that conversation.

  It had taken her a few tries, b
ut she’d just finished describing her explicit daydreams to Piper, along with all the emotions and feelings she’d been grappling with every time her mind had wandered in that direction. “What am I not scared about?” Caroline finally answered. “I’m terrified of everything. I just told you I wanted another man’s lips on my…body. It’s all I can think about! Each time, the daydream gets a little raunchier. It’s making me feel like an insane person.”

  “Okay, stop right there.” Piper held up her hand. “If this isn’t time for the praline ice cream, I don’t know when is.” Piper walked purposefully over to the fridge and yanked open the freezer door, then plucked two spoons out of a drawer. Caroline adored that Piper felt so at home here. When Caroline was at Piper’s house, she usually deferred to Piper, never feeling like she could take charge in another person’s kitchen comfortably. “We’re eating this straight out of the carton, too. I don’t want to hear any arguments.” Piper slid into her seat next to Caroline’s at the island and handed her a spoon. “Eat first, then we’ll talk you through this.”

  Caroline obliged her friend and dug her spoon into the ice cream.

  She was happy to have a few minutes to get her thoughts back in order. She’d basically blurted everything out in one long breath. Piper must think she was unhinged. Or, like her mother would say, depraved. Caroline spooned a cold, creamy bite into her mouth and sighed.

  So sweet, and so very needed.

  Piper was a genius.

  After a few more scoops, Piper lowered her spoon and crossed her forearms. “Okay. So I need you to be extremely clear with me here. You only want to have sex with your husband, right? Meaning his penis is the only penis for you?”

  Caroline nodded and felt a blush rising on her cheeks.

  “But in your fantasy, you watch another couple go at it first, but in order to come, you need a little extra something-something from the gallery?” She put her fingers together about an inch apart. “Just a little.”